章 12: Preparations Before Departure
(A/N: Go check out the auxiliary chapter I posted if you wanna see what Citrinitas was supposed to act like)
[Timeskip - 1 Day]
[Narrators POV]
Ainz had quite the eventful morning, to say the least. After his battle with Shalltear Bloodfallen, his adventurer persona 'Momon' took credit for slaying the powerful vampire 'Honyopenyoko.' Because of this, Ainz and Narberal were promoted to Adamantite ranked adventurers.
He and Narberal left the adventurers guild to head back to Nazarick. Of course, as the duo walked, they left a trail of gossip behind them. While some people were obviously jealous of the pair, most couldn't help but admire team Darkness.
How could a mysterious duo become Adamantite adventurers in 2 weeks? Such a feat was unheard of in history. "Just look at Momon's armour! I heard it was all adamantite!" Said one adventurer, who was eating some breakfast as Darkness passed by. "No shit! Of course that's made of adamantite. Only the richest or powerful can afford stuff like that! You think Momon was a king?" Another asked.
"The guy did mention he was on the hunt for two powerful vampires that did destroy his residence. It is plausible. And to think he would go to such lengths to slay the creature by travelling here and wanting to kill Honyopenyoko personally …" The adventurer mused, sipping a drink.
"Waaa, look at the Beautiful Princess. Stoic as ever …" Said a random adventurer. His mouth slightly pooled with excess saliva. "Don't you have a girlfriend?" Half-jokingly replied another. "Hmph," The drooling adventurer scoffed. "I'm just appreciating beauty!"
Ainz internally sighed at the comments and remarks he heard from the people that he passed. 'I make up some bullshit story about 'killing' a vampire and people are already speculating stories? I'm just a lonely salaryman who's acting as an overlord who's acting as a hero adventurer!' Ainz sighed again, this time vocalising, catching Narberal's attention.
"Is everything alright, lor- Momon?" Narberal asked, keeping a stoic and emotionless face as she had to keep up her persona in public. "I'm fine, Narb … Nabe. Thanks for checking in. However, I must ask. How are YOU doing?" Ainz asked back. As a former salaryman, he found it important to check in with his colleagues' feelings. In this case, it was subordinates.
"Hmph," Narberal crossed her arms, slightly pouting. "These … vermin humans … have no right to catcall me." She said with clear disdain in her voice. "Only Citrinitas is allowed to?" Ainz retorted half-jokingly. The Beautiful Princess bit her lip as her cheeks turned a light shade of red.
Ainz gave a low chuckle which only made Narberal blush more. "Well, we can use [Gate] now. We're far enough from anyone seeing us." Ainz said, stopping in his tracks. Narberal followed suit as the skeleton waved his hand in the air to form a purple portal to Nazarick. The pair quickly entered the purple swirl as they changed into their true forms.
"Is there anything else you need, lord Ainz?" Narberal asked, turning to face the undead skeleton. "As of this moment, no." Ainz started. "You're dismissed for the day, Narberal. If Momon needs to do a quest, just head out with Pandora's Actor as I have some … office things to do …" The overlord trailed off at the end.
"Very well, milord." The Pleiades maid said, slightly bowing before walking away to her station. 'Ahhh,' The overlord internally sighed, slightly worried that if he vocalized it, every floor guardian would rush to his aid and ask if there was an issue. Though it may have been an exaggeration, such an unlikely situation was possible.
'There's so much on my plate. There's supposed to be this subjugation test on the nearby Lizardmen in 2 weeks briefly mentioned by Demiurge. Like, I didn't know we were doing this until a couple of hours ago! To top things off, there's a possible group of players somewhere in this world that brainwashed Shalltear as mentioned by Citrinitas!' If Ainz had a real biological body, it would be slumped over a desk.
Just over 2 weeks ago, Ainz, previously Suzuki, was just an ordinary salaryman who logged onto a game long dead. A virtual world where he spent 12 years of his life escaping a dystopian society. His world was run by megacorporations that had ongoing arcology wars. Just thinking about the past brought on horrible memories.
The skeleton, even though he didn't have a real mouth, could still taste unpleasant chemicals that lingered on his nonexistent tongue. Synthetic meat that tasted like plastic and left an odd aftertaste. Tangy water from the taps which went through countless filtration systems before it could be drunk. Even though it was horrible, countless people would kill for a position like that.
But now? Suzuki was here, in a world where he can see the stars. A world with grass and birds and trees. He was an overlord for the creations he and his friends made in YGGDRASIL. Something that he never thought was possible.
Ainz, noticing that he was standing still and caught up on the past, snapped back to reality. The skeleton simply teleported to his office to ponder and relax there. The office was one of his personal areas where he can break character. He doesn't need to worry about anyone seeing him as they always knock before entering, giving him enough time to get back into character.
'Ahhh, some peace!' The skeleton thought, leaning back on his chair. Just as Ainz leaned on his chair and got comfortable, there was a knock on his office door. 'You just had to jinx it, didn't you Suzuki.' Getting back into character, Ainz called out to the person knocking on his office door.
The door creaked open as a figure shrouded in a black cloth became more visible from where Ainz sat. The being was Citrinitas with his signature white plague doctor mask. 'OH FUCK IT'S CITRINITAS! Ahh … keep your cool. He may be mysterious and possibly knows that you're a clueless salaryman. But you're the overlord of Nazarick! You got this, Suzuki!' Ainz gave himself a little prep talk before finding the confidence to speak to the homunculus.
"Umu. Hello, Citrinitas." Ainz greeted the enigma albeit with some caution. Citrinitas walked into Ainz's office with an average walking pace. His shoes clattered on the pristine marble floor with every step. The door creaked closed behind the plague doctor before he was close enough to be at a good talking distance.
"Greetings, lord Ainz." Citrinitas said. His echoing voice filled the room as he gave a slight bow to the overlord. Though he didn't show it externally, Citrinitas's actions only made Ainz more nervous. 'Waaaa. He's so SCARY!' The skeleton internally shouted.
"There is no need for formalities, Citrinitas. Why are you here? Did something pop up?" Ainz questioned. "No, no. Nothing of the sort." Citrinitas calmly replied. "Instead, I came to ask you if I had your permission to go on an … excursion of sorts." This caught Ainz's attention.
"Go on." The skeleton said. "As of late, I've been reading reports from Demiurge provided by my assistant, Elaina. As I read the reports about the affairs of surrounding countries, one caught my eye. The Dragon Kingdom."
'The Dragon Kingdom, huh? Isn't that far away?' Ainz thought to himself. "The Dragon Kingdom. Interesting. And why is that, Citrinitas? Why not a nation closer by such as the Baharuth Empire? I heard that they had an Imperial Magic Academy." Ainz asked, curious as to what the alchemist was thinking.
"While I was tempted by the idea, I was more interested in Wild Magic. I heard that their Queen, Draudillion Oriculus was able to use the lost art as she has Dragon Lord blood flowing through her." Citrinitas finished his explanation. 'There, that should be enough of a reason.' The plague doctor thought.
'I'm so STUPID! Of course Citrinitas would want to go through the Dragon Kingdom to study magic that wasn't in YGGDRASIL! He must be thinking that I'm such an IDIOT!' Ainz was having an internal mental breakdown. But, his emotional nullifier prevented him from doing any rash actions.
"Furthermore, going to the Dragon Kingdom to set up pawns or gather information will hasten your master plan." Citrinitas pressed on. In actuality, Citrinitas didn't have a 'proper' plan such as Demiurge where he calculated every potential action of every potential person. For Citrinitas, it was more or less a vague checklist of objectives to do which will help set the groundwork for Nazarick's eventual conquest.
'Master plan? Master plan?! MASTER PLAN!!! WHAT MASTER PLAN?!?!' Ainz's jaw opened wide open with disbelief and pure shock. "Uhm … uhhh … INDEED!" Ainz said, finally finding the confidence to speak. 'Seeing this happen in real-time is hilarious.' Citrinitas noted in his mind, internally laughing.
"While I've … uhm … already set a plan in motion for the Dragon Kingdom in my … uhh … 10,000 Year Plan, I would like you to elaborate on it so I know that your plan is the same as mine." Ainz blurted out, hoping his words were enough to fool the NPC. Fuck! To Citrinitas, I probably look clueless!'
'Heh, this guy is so clueless.' Citrinitas internally chuckled. 'Oh well, I'll play along for the hell of it.' "In actuality, the 'plan' isn't about conquest. More or less prepping the area and setting up pawns, personas and gathering information to make conquest much easier." Citrinitas said with professionalism.
'Ok, so far so good. I understand what Citrinitas is saying so far.' Ainz thought, carefully listening to every word the alchemist spoke. "While there are main objectives to the plan such as studying Wild Magic and general history, there are other minor objectives that can be done. An example would be setting up a persona. Something similar to 'Momon' the Dark Hero."
"You plan on being an adventurer in order to enact my plan, right?" Ainz asked. "Precisely, lord Ainz. Your knowledge knows no bounds." Citrinitas said, pretending to flatter the skeleton as the Supreme Being he is.
'YES! I'VE GOTTEN SOMETHING RIGHT! WHOO HOO!' Ainz had a mini celebration with confetti and balloons in his mind. "I heard from reports that the Dragon Kingdom is facing troubles against the Beastmen Nation. If hypothetically speaking, their best adventurer became a subordinate to a certain overlord, the Dragon Kingdom would be forced to submit." Citrinitas said.
'Ok, I think I know how this plays out in the future. Though there are definitely more layers to this that I'm not grasping right now, this should be enough to work with.' Ainz thought in his mind, tapping his fingers on his desk.
"Establishing an adventurer persona similar to yours will help in your future conquest. Both by easing public opinion and making enemies more predictable. An example could be that an enemy Player could think they could convince my adventurer persona to betray you." The plague doctor added.
"Indeed." Ainz simply replied. "So, how will you go about enacting my plan? Will you go along with another denizen of Nazarick? Perhaps an escort of sorts?" Ainz asked. 'I would rather if Citrinitas goes along with another person. I don't know if Citrinitas could handle an ambush of strong players considering he wasn't created for PKing.' Ainz noted, worried about his friend's creation.
It was as if Ainz jinxed the words that came out of his mouth. Citrinitas was about to speak when there was a barrage of frantic knocking at the office door. Like if two people were using their hands to knock on the door for the life of them.
'Oh for God's sake. Don't tell me it's who I think it is that's doing that.' Citrinitas thought. Ainz didn't even get to ask who and why someone was knocking on his office door in such a way when the door exploded from the pressure.
In its place lay two very attractive females that fell to the floor. One which was petite and had silver hair while the other was more mature with icy blue hair. 'Why is Shalltear and Esdeath here?' Ainz wondered, confused as to what was happening.
"CITRINITAS!" They both exclaimed in unison. "Take me with you!" Shalltear shouted, using one of her spare arms to grasp against Esdeath's throat. "Bullshit!" Esdeath instantly shouted. "Citrinitas, take ME with you on your excursion!" The ice general pleaded.
"Uhm … Esdeath, Shalltear, please collect yourselves." Ainz said, trying to control the unknown situation. "Certainly, my lord." The ladies said in unison again, standing upright and putting their hands behind their backs.
"Now," Ainz put a hand on his head. "Will you please tell me why you've broken my door?" Ainz asked. The colours on Shalltear and Esdeath's faces drained, realizing that in their fight, they've upset the Supreme One.
"We're so very sorry for breaking down your door, master. However, it was of the utmost importance!" Shalltear said, trying to convince the skeleton. "Indeed," Esdeath agreed with the words spoken by the petite vampire. "I heard that my beloved was going out on an adventure and figured that he needed a companion!" The ice general said with passion.
'So they broke down my door in the hopes of being Citrinitas's adventure buddy? Really?' Ainz thought, half-shocked by the situation. 'And just when I thought I was getting some alone time from all this … mayhem.' Citrinitas internally sighed again.
"I'm not sure how this … lamprey found out about your plans, Citrinitas. But, if you must choose a companion, choose ME!" Esdeath exclaimed with pride in her voice. "NO! You don't even know how to satisfy the needs of a man! You're just a virgin like that succubus gorilla! I could go on for DAYS without getting tired!" Shalltear said as an aura of red surrounded her.
"Watch your tone little girl!" Esdeath retorted. An opposite icy blue aura surrounded her. "I'm just saving myself for the day we get married! Besides, all you know how to do is stuff that Spuit Lance of yours up your asshole!" Esdeath shouted with twice the fury, which only pissed off the vampire more.
"Ladies, please keep yourselves at a professional standard in front of the Supreme One." Citrinitas interrupted the mini-feud between the two ladies. Esdeath and Shalltear immediately ceased their actions, making Ainz internally sigh as he didn't need to intervene.
"So, both of you want to be Citrinitas's companion on his adventure to the Dragon Kingdom?" Ainz asked. "Yes, my lord." The ladies said in unison. "I'm just worried about Citrinitas as he could be targeted by enemy Players as he took their World Item." Shalltear justified.
"Please, Shalltear is in no position to make demands after getting brainwashed. It's all her fault anyways. Citrinitas should choose me as I'm specialised in AoE!" Esdeath replied. The pair gave menacing stares filled with malice toward each other.
"AoE? Citrinitas could basically do the same with his magical skills. And what if a Player comes? I could deal with the threat with ease!" Shalltear said with spite.
"You can't even control [Blood Frenzy]. You'll go berserk the moment you see a player! Think smarter, not harder! Fucking dumbass!" Esdeath retorted, crossing her arms.
'Shouldn't I get a say in this?' Citrinitas thought. Ainz, who was listening in on both pleas of the floor guardians, was thinking rather carefully. 'If I let Shalltear go with Citrinitas, Esdeath gets sad. But, the same thing happens if I choose Esdeath. Hmmmmmmm …'
"My lord, while I appreciate my … colleagues worried about me. I must note that I work best alone." Citrinitas said, making both Esdeath and Shalltear pout. "But my lor-" "Enough!" Ainz shouted, making the room silent.
"Sorry for my outburst. But, I've made my decision." Ainz said. Esdeath, Shalltear and even Citrinitas grew nervous from the anticipation. "Citrinitas, normally I would have let you go on your own. However, due to circumstances, I believe that having both Esdeath and Shalltear as your companions would be beneficial to your safety." Ainz stated with authority.
'There, problem solved! That will make both Esdeath and Shalltear happy! Citrinitas will also be guarded by two very powerful beings in case of a sudden attack. I can't risk losing the only known way of getting prismatic ore in the new world. Besides, Esdeath and Shalltear are his lovers, right? That should make him happy.' Ainz concluded.
'No, no, no, no. This can't be happening! I'll be surrounded by not one but TWO thirsty women for at least 2 weeks! WHY?!' If Citrinitas were alone, he would curl up into a ball and groan. 'Shalltear and Esdeath are such a pain in the back to deal with! They have no clue what self-control is!'
"YES!" Esdeath and Shalltear shouted with joy as they ran towards the plague doctor and hugged him tightly. With Esdeath hugging from behind and Shalltear from the front. Though it wasn't the most ideal situation, Shalltear and Esdeath were able to spend more time with Citrinitas.
"Oh, how I can't wait to explore the outside world with you, darling!" Shalltear said with pure glee. "Hmph, all you'll be doing is waiting outside a hotel room as we have sex! You're the more powerful NPC, right? You should be guarding us against Players." Esdeath said, forming a wild smirk from checkmating the petite vampire.
Shalltear only growled. "I bet you can't even make Citrinitas feel any pleasure, VIRGIN!" Shalltear shouted. 'This was what I was talking about …' Citrinitas internally sighed. "[Teleportation]." The plague doctor freed himself from the tight grasp of the two floor guardians as he appeared somewhere else in the room.
"Esdeath, Shalltear, please refrain from doing such actions in front of the Supreme One." He said, acting professional and polite. Though sad, both Esdeath and Shalltear reluctantly agreed, stopping their arguments.
"Understood, lord Ainz. Thank you for looking out for my safety. It is much appreciated." The alchemist said, slightly bowing. "Umu, it is not a problem, Citrinitas. I presume you'll be back in about 2 weeks when we subjugate the Lizardmen, yes?" Ainz questioned.
"Precisely, my lord. Given that Esdeath and Shalltear were added last minute, I'll give them a day to prepare an adventurer costume to accompany me." Citrinitas added, taking a glance at a blushing Shalltear and Esdeath. 'This is gonna be a pain …'
"Kufufufufufu. Don't worry, Citrinitas as I've already prepared an outfit for such an occasion!" Shalltear said with a smile. Esdeath's eye slightly twitched at Shalltear's words before speaking. "Yes … I too … have an outfit." She said, trying to sound confident. 'Heh, I've one-upped the whore yet again!' Shalltear thought, internally celebrating.
"Well, in that case, you're all dismissed. I'll call in one of the maids to fix the door after you all leave." Ainz replied, wanting the conversation to end quickly in order for these monsters to leave his office. "Certainly, my lord." The floor guardians said together. Citrinitas gave a slight bow before exiting the room with them.
'Ahhh, that was so SCARY! I wonder how Citrinitas handles so many women like that. I should learn a lesson from him when it comes to his sister, Albedo.' Ainz thought, organizing a stack of papers on his desk. Meanwhile, Citrinitas was dealing with two very thirsty women.
"So Citrinitas, I was wondering if, hypothetically speaking there were only two beds, who would you sleep with?" Esdeath asked, holding one of his arms between her breasts. "Esdeath, firstly, can you please stop dragging my arm into your breasts? It is quite unprofessional."
"HA! Citrinitas is a fan of flat chests! I knew my lord's wisdom was right! 'Big chests may fill a man's hands but flat ones fill a man's heart!' Suck on that, virgin!" Shalltear exclaimed with pride. Though Esdeath was clearly angered by Shalltear's words, she put aside her wrath for Citrinitas.
"To answer your second question," Citrinitas paused, thinking about what to say next. Esdeath and Shalltear started to get nervous from his silence. "I'm a homunculus so I don't sleep for long periods of time. And, hypothetically speaking, if I NEEDED to sleep, I could just use the Ring of Sustenance."
The pair only grumbled seeing that their question failed. 'Hmph, I'll find a way to seduce darling. He's just playing hard to get!' They both thought in unison. 'Sigh, only God can save me now. I pray to the being that sent me here to have mercy.'
"How about sex? I'll wholeheartedly pleasure you with all my being!" Shalltear said with pride. "I'm going to the Dragon Kingdom to study and analyze magic. Not to have sex." Citrinitas stated, this time with more authority in his voice. Esdeath smirked at seeing her rival get shot down. Shalltear only grumbled at seeing Esdeath smirk.
"Well, I best be going now, ladies. I have work to finish before we depart tomorrow." Citrinitas said, stopping in his tracks and waiting for the duo to let go of his arms. Of course, it wasn't as easy as he hoped it would be. Esdeath and Shalltear only held his arms tighter.
"But Citrinitas, we've only been together for such a short amount of time!" Shalltear shouted. Esdeath only nodded, giving puppy eyes. "At least go on a date with me seeing that we're close to the restaurants!" She exclaimed.
'Sigh, these girls are desperate, huh?' Citrinitas thought. It was then Citrinitas realized something. 'Holdup. Didn't Albedo try to violate Ainz in like season 3 because she became desperate? Oh … fuck. I've been avoiding Esdeath and Shalltear for the past 2 weeks. Now we're going to be fucking ALONE WITH THEM FOR 2 WEEKS! Why have I just realized this now?'
(A/N: Because I'm a bad writer and a dumbass xD)
'I'll just hope that none of them does anything … rash …' Citrinitas's thoughts trailed off before focusing on the crazy women beside him. "Well, I do appreciate the offer. But, I do have to get going with tomorrow's preparations." Citrinitas said, making the pair frown.
"Well … if you persist. Then, that is fine with me …" Esdeath trailed off in defeat. "Very well, if that is what you want, darling. I should go prepare for tomorrow's trip also." Shalltear stated. "So, we've come to an agreement. I like to see that. See you, ladies, tomorrow." Citrinitas said his goodbyes.
"[Teleportation]." With the cast of a spell, Citrinitas vanished from thin air and appeared in his alchemy lab, slightly startling the assistants. "Lord Citrinitas, is everything alright?" Rimuru asked with sincerity.
"Yes, everything is fine. Plenty of things are happening. So, while I'm gone during my excursion, you and the others will oversee lab activities." Citrinitas stated. "Very well, my lord." Rimuru said, bowing before returning to her duties. 'Seeing that's done, I should prepare an outfit.'
[Scene Change]
"[Teleportation]." Citrinitas disappeared from thin air, leaving Esdeath and Shalltear to their own devices. "Citrinitas leaving was all YOUR FAULT!" Esdeath shouted. "My fault? MY FAULT?! WHAT DID I DO?!" Shalltear rebuked. "Damn slut. All you KNOW IS SEX!"
"NO SHIT! I WAS CREATED THIS WAY BY THE WISE LORD PERORONCHINO! I'll let you know that I was Citrinitas's FIRST LOVER!" Shalltear shouted. "Really?" Esdeath rhetorically asked. "If that's the case, why do I have permission from Albedo that I could marry him, huh?" The ice demon taunted.
Shalltear growled as the pair let their auras fly about, scaring passing by maids. "Hmph, I have an idea to solve this feud between us." Shalltear said. "I'm Listening …" Esdeath coldly replied. "During the 2-week trip, whoever seduces Citrinitas gets to be first wife. Is that a deal?" Shalltear offered. Esdeath thought about the idea before reaching out for the vampire's hand. "Fine. It's a deal."
(A/N: Y'all got any good adventure names for Esdeath and Shalltear? I got none xD)
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