章 421: Beyond Two Fools by Haten(SNAFUx All routes lead to doom)
Latest Update:April 4, 2023
Summary: Reincarnated as a noble, Hikigaya Hachiman has to deal with a girl that thinks all roads lead to her demise. [Formerly Destruction Flag Target]
Link: https://m.fanfiction.net/s/13601219/1/Beyond-Two-Fools
Word count:84k
Chapters:34
Chapter 1
Katarina Claes is either too goddamn dumb to still be alive, or she's the most cunning witch Hachiman has ever had the displeasure to meet. Well, not Hachiman Hachiman, but rather Nicol Ascarta. A name that sounds a bit too close to a certain organization dedicated to killing alien demons and space elves for his comfort.
You see, Hikigaya Hachiman is no more. Isekai'd into the body of some rich and entitled kid by the omnipotent power from the holiest Truck-kun, modern equivalent of the mythical Charon himself. Deeming the loner fit to reincarnate into a world of fantasy and a bit too outdated living conditions for his modern sensibilities. In the end, that'd have been just another isekai introductory episode if it wasn't because Truck-kun was busy at the time so his long lost, twice removed, cousin Limousine-chan did the job for him and sent Hachiman to the world of magic now he resides in after saving a dog that only amounted in both weight and size to about a third of a normal dog.
But I digress. Magic makes up for the living conditions of a world with the technological development of about the… Renaissance? Hachiman knows he should have paid more attention to world history, but to be absolutely fair no one would have expected to actually make use of that sort of information aside from boasting about having memorized such useless information.
And boy, does Hachiman has to memorize a lot of useless information.
Because of the blatantly outdated social structure, he has to inherit a political position from his father. Why would he want to be a politician? He already reincarnated into a filthy rich family? It's pretty obvious all he needs to do is sit back and enjoy life like never before and finally fulfill his fantasy of living without having to work at all! His new little sister always criticizes his way of thinking, but hey, it's not like life can ever be perfect.
And that loops back to the idiot at hand.
Given how high society people have to partake in "social gatherings" to make connections with "people of influence" it was a matter of time because Hachi… I mean, Nicol was roped into leaving his room and interact with other children his age instead of lazing around like he wanted to do. If the world wasn't perfect before, then it became hell for the poor boy that understood nothing of what the high society children talked about nor did he have any actual interest in such banal topics. If material possessions are the only things they want to talk about, and his clothes are criticized because he's not wearing them right, then his point is proved even more than before. Children are savages, no wonder teenagers would be just as evil. If youth is a lie, then the innocence of childhood is just as true.
And that's fine, he's used to this. Even if he disagrees with that reality on principle. The problem comes when his new little sister comes around with a stray animal and asks if she can keep it.
Oh, wait. That's not it. That stray thing she got her hands into is a person. And not any person, oh no, but the daughter of the Claes! If Hachiman was to be told the daughter of the most influential family save for the royal couple would be such an uncivilized monkey he'd have laughed, even in his previous life. Everyone knows such characters are the epitome of ojou types, with an "ohohohoho" laugh, blonde hair tied into drills. Not… This.
"Hey, Nicol-sama! Fancy seeing you here!" The monkey woman rose her hand, happily approaching him like a certain former crush he knew in his previous life. But unlike said… Acquaintance, this woman was most certainly not a nice girl. Couldn't be. Not only because of his preconceived perception warped by countless hours of watching anime and reading shitty light novels, but because it did not make sense in the context of this world.
"This is my house." The spoiled, bratty spawn of the Claes couldn't possibly be this good natured. Not only because of the rumors (which he no doubt has learned not to take at face value), but because people of her economic standing simply does not develop the correct common sense to develop as "nice" people. He has no proof, but neither does he doubt it.
"That's…! That's correct!" Katarina laughed it off, without the ojou laugh to Hachiman's eternal disappointment, but looked positively nervous.
Hey, miss dumbass future queen? Stop spacing out in front of him. It's a bit creepy to be honest.
"If you came to see Sophia, she's upstairs." Still, as a gentleman he saved the monkey woman from further embarrassment by giving her directions. Perhaps that way, she'd feel like leaving him alone again. Alas, that's just a fool's errand.
"Oh, thanks! By the way, are you ready to join the Academy? I'm quite nervous myself." Masterfully ignoring his helping hand, Katarina opened up a completely unnecessary topic. True, she did look supremely nervous, but Hachiman didn't understand how that's his business.
"Yes." He didn't need to elaborate, for his desired the ending of the conversation but the woman just chose to ignore the hint.
"Say, I'm friends with your sister. Which kind of makes us friends, right?" What kind of backwards thinking process is that? Are you actually retarded? Or is her façade so important she'd say something that dumb to keep it up? "Hypothetically…" Wow, big words for the monkey woman. This should be good "If, say, a cute girl snatched Keith or Prince Gerald…" Who's Keith? Oh, right. Her brother, yes? "And this is purely hypothetical, of course." Just go on, woman. He doesn't have all day "You would put your word forward that I absolutely support their decision and that I'm in no way or form going to get in their way, right?"
Now, that's a strange way of wording it. Hachiman couldn't fathom what thoughts crossed through the monkey woman's head, but he didn't need to. His insight has been praised even by his (current) dad, a relic of his previous life that he has sharpened after his tutors taught him the beginning of the game of thrones. No matter the age, politics are still politics after all.
First, why would she mention those two in particular? As far as he knows, the Claes siblings are in good terms. Then again, teenage rebellion is a thing no matter the ages. It'd make sense she worries about Keith but that doesn't explain why she'd talk about it with Hachiman in particular, with whom she shares no relationship whatsoever. True, she's friends with his (current) little sister, but outside her going out of her way to piss Hachiman off there is no relation at all. He'd even go as far as to think that she does it to piss him off but there is no proof to back that suspicion with.
Or is he seeing things in the wrong way? Think about the prince. They're engaged, right? Why would she think he'd leave her? Has she grown self-aware? No, unlikely. He'd think she's grown tired of his persona before even fathoming she's grown self-aware… Unless that's it?
"…"
"Huh… Nicol-sama…?"
Could it be that Katarina doesn't desire to marry the prince? That's… Honestly groundbreaking. Like, sure. She's done the social fu in such a unique way she already has all the connection she'll ever need. But that effort is misplaced since there's no need for connections if she is to become the future queen. Only superficial relationships are needed, as long as she looks good besides the prince no one will be able to shake her position.
Is this perhaps why she acts like a gorilla? Because she doesn't want to be engaged? And that must be why she's building connections too. Because if she does break the engagement, it'd spell disaster in her family's social circle. But that can be amended by her own social circle. This weird circus she's built up does have a purpose: To cushion the fall as much as possible, while at the same time making it look as natural as possible. They break up, she was just not meant to be queen. Too bad. End of the story.
In the age this world is in, this is probably a very optimistic hope but Katarina Claes clearly believes this possible. Even if she can't say it outright because who her fiancé is, she can work in the shadows to obtain her goals.
…What a dangerous woman.
"Huh… Nicol-sa…"
"It's okay." Hachiman interrupted her, rising a hand as if to look reassuring. She might be a cunning witch, and Hachiman doesn't quite understand her brand of crazy wackiness, but he can respect her sticking to it against all odds "If something like that would, hypothetically, happen. I'd put up my word that Claes-san is perfectly content with such a development." After all, she's friends with his little sister. And he can respect her honesty about such a subject. He didn't understand why she'd confide him with something so big, but it's not like he can ask "No matter what, Claes-san has nothing to fear."
"Really?!" Her eyes sparkled with such intensity they almost looked like she'd start speaking with spectral multiple voices to announce the second coming. But instead, she jumped at him into a bear hug that made his spine pop in a rather unhealthy way.
"Release me woman!" Hachiman groaned, kicking the air as the girl lifted him almost effortlessly. Did Sophia mention she practices the blade? That can't possibly give her so much strength, right?! "Release me immediately!"
"Huh, sorry! I─ Aaaah! Welese me! Pwese!"
Hachiman walked her out of the room and went through the whole house with Katarina in tow.
"Oh, Nicol. Good morning." The Claes matriarch saw him bringing her daughter by the cheek and didn't even blink at the sight.
"Good morning, lady Claes." Hachiman huffed, bringing the wailing girl upstairs while her brother yelled at him to release her. He didn't of course, not until they arrived at Sophia's room and, after knocking twice, opened the door and hauled the monkey woman inside "And stop bothering me!"
"Was that really necessary?!" Keith panted as he caught up with Hachiman. He couldn't lie, he felt sorry for the boy having to babysit that woman. But he couldn't say that out loud.
"She's so annoying; she almost broke my back." Hachiman isn't ready to have back problems. He's way too young for that.
"Wait, what? What were you doing?" What? What's with that weird expression? "You… Aren't you a bit too close with Nee-san?"
Where the hell did that come from?
"What, jealous?" Hachiman crossed his arms. The very idea of people thinking he's close with Katarina Claes is insulting enough to worsen his mood. There's absolutely no way they are close. She just like messing with him for her own amusement and Hachiman doesn't understand why people can't see that.
"What? Me? How could I…" Yeah, he's really smooth about hiding his feelings.
Huh, that's it? It's not just Katarina, but the Claes family is just full of weirdos? Oh, that makes sense. Makes Hachiman feel a bit more at ease. Maybe she's not that bad… Well, at least he can stop thinking about her whenever he's notified she's going to come over.
…Because she's annoying, of course. There is absolutely nothing but contempt for her in Hachiman's heart. Truly no way he felt anything about her not wanting to be engaged to the prince.
Link: https://m.fanfiction.net/s/13601219/1/Beyond-Two-Fools
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