章 9: Ch 9: Insomnia pt. 1
I couldn't get to sleep. No matter how hard I tried. Jeez, why am I having such a hard time? I turn over, facing away from Cam. He fell asleep a while ago, his soft snores filing the room.
My mind raced. Maybe that's why I couldn't sleep? This is my first night sleeping here and being aware of it. Everything is kind of hitting me at once. The fact that I can't go see my parents and friends. I'm a vampire now, which means I technically died. The man I'm living with is easy to pick on and fun to be around, but he's keeping something from me. I officially have no life. Im starting to feel emotional, like I'm about to cry again. Oh for the love of the gods, please no. not with him in bed with me!
I let out a deep sigh and try to sort through my thoughts. Okay, my friends and family. Its not like I can never see them again, I just can't go near them without Cam. Plus, I still have my phone, so I can call and text them whenever. I mean, yeah, no more of Mom's home cooking, or listening to dad tell me stories from the war. But that's ok, that's alright. I can see them again soon, if Dad doesn't hate me for not being human. Mom will always love me, but I'm not sure about Dad. Only time will tell.
Okay, one problem compartmentalized, now on to the next one. Yay, progress! What's next? Oh right, my death. Well lets see what I remember. I know I was hit by a red car, but that's it. They must have driven away, because no one reported anything to my knowledge. Maybe Cam would know more. Then I was saved by some random Vamp passing by, but he's didn't think I'd turn, I guess? Or he didn't want to handle me, so he bounced. Then came Cam, my knight in sining armour, to save the day. Eh, this one is messy. I don't think I can process that right now.
Next issue is Cam, I guess. Cameron Demonte. My saviour. He's insanely hot, kind, caring, and overall a good person by any means. He's funny, and fun to talk to. But there's something important I'm missing. It started after I bit his neck. Was that not okay? Is it against the rules? That can't be right. I've seen it in movies a bunch of times. I mean usually they're vamp romance movies... Oh gods. I think I f*cked up. Is that only a couples thing?? Did I mess up and make him think... No, that can't be it. If he actually thought that, I'm sure he would have done something by now. Up to this point, he's been perfect in every way. The only thing that changed is that he's more shy now, and he tenses up when I go to bite him... Well f*ck. Yeah, for vamps, that probably means I came onto him. But he hasn't made a move yet, so he must know I didn't mean anything by it.
But... Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. He's pretty perfect. If he feels the same way, maybe he'll say something. Would that be ok though? Us being together? I mean, I did intentionally tease him earlier, but that was because I wanted to have some fun, and I knew he would play along...
Sigh. If only I could get this off my mind and sleep! I can save these problems for tomorrow's Terra. I quietly reach out and grab one of my pill bottles off the bedside table. Good old anxiety relief for moments when you can't cope on your own. Can't beat it. Getting up, I quietly walk toward the bathroom and close the door behind me.
After I take my pill, I look around. Its a pretty nice bathroom. Walk in shower, deep garden tub, double vanity. It almost makes it seem like a master suite, but in a house this big, I'm sure it's common.
When I'm really stressed, I always do one thing that helps me calm down. Running hot water into the tub, I rummage around to see if there is any wash or something. Coming away with a few items that look like they're out of a hotel spa, I set them on the edge of the tub. After a bit more rummaging, I find a small sample bag of Epsom Salt. Perfect! Pouring it in the water, I undress and carefully step in. Ohhh, if I were a cat, I'd be purring. The luxurious bath water washing over my tense muscles, the sweet floral scent of the salt clearing my mind. Now I can think about things properly.
Now let's think about this again. I bit Cam on the neck, putting him in an awkward spot because that's how vampires show affection. While I am developing a bit of a crush on him, I've only known him for a few days. That's not a lot of time to develop true feelings for someone, in my opinion. He's very attractive though, which is skewing my judgement. Plus it's fun to tease him. Okay, so what do I do? The best course of action would be to stop biting his neck until I'm sure of his feelings. Hmm.. this is logical, yeah, but would it really fix anything? He might think something is up if I randomly change it up. Plus, bitting his neck is natural. It was the first thought that came to mind when he told me to bite him. Is that just my stereotypical impression of how vamps suck blood, or is it something more than that?
Deep in my gut, I feel like I could spend my life with Cameron. He's dorky, and cute, and he makes me feel special. But it's just too soon to tell. Perhaps, the best thing to do in the end would be to just let him make the first move, let him take the first step in whatever this is. Okay, so that's what I'll do. I take a deep breath and sink deep into the water.
Mmm this feels nice. Sitting up, I grab the bottle of soap and begin actually cleansing my body, now that my mind is at ease.
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