章 21: I hate my job...
It's Monday now, the only thing i can think of is the April fools update coming soon on final hunt... A lot of things will change! And erotical features will be cancelled...
It's another annoying one it seems, the next person is a fat woman... Judging by weight, hair, color of eyes and skin it's another American!
I sighed and said "hello welcome to kfc what would you like?" she looked at the menu and said "everything here feels different... Does kfc stand for ke-"
I cut her off and said "no because of copyright reasons, kfc stands for King's fucking chicken, well in your words, the real name is sfc, shogunate's fucking chicken."
"We just had to change the name due to colonisation..." after a few moments she ordered "two 3A, one 4B, and 4 1P please!"
If she eats all of them, judging by her weight... And that fucking life support she carries she'd probably die! So i said "that will be 1300¥ please..."
She starts calculating and realises something isn't right, but didn't mind to tell me... That's because i plan on just giving her the one 4B!
Her order arrived and she complained "why did you only serve me this! I'll starve!" then i looked at her dead in the eye and said "ma'am your on life support because you eat oily foods."
She shouted "that's a lie! I'm on life support because i don't eat enough oily foods!" then i examined her body, fatty flesh, triple chin, nahh I'm just kidding myself she's fat as fuck.
She notices and says "sir i know my beauty is admirable but please stop!" as she blushes. So i just replied "maybe your beautiful, just not in my eyes..."
Then she shouts "don't you verbally abuse me! I'm a strong independent woman!" i smiled and chuckled. Then i replied "strong you may be, but death is stronger than thee."
She looks pissed, i know exactly how to piss her off "there are no such thing as plus sized women... Only fat ones" she tried to punch me but i easily dodged it, the oil that was released from her body though... I couldn't.
It got on my face, i grabbed a trash can and immediately started puking... On her, and she started puking! Even her puke was a bit yellowish...
She stared at me and said "you... You bastard!" i said with a blunt look "tadaaahh, your now healthier." i might be an asshole, but it's better than letting someone die because you helped them die...
She kept trying to punch me as I just dodged, because she's too slow every move she did oily sweat pours out her body, after 15 minutes she finally collapses from exhaustion.
Then i just called the hospital "hello... Police? Yeah... Its me again."
The next day i went back to work and there was only 1 thing in my mind... "why am i not fired yet?"
I sighed and did my normal routine, there were a couple of nerds planning on playing final hunt. And they are taking a while to order...
"hey what class do you think we should choose?"
"i don't know... I'm either gonna choose a ranger or an assassin, rangers have a passive called precision aim which is good for sniping! But then again I'm more of an assassin user..."
I sighed and said "don't forget your race, every race has a secret ability. I'm sorry for butting in but... Please order!"
and they hurriedly ordered, the shogunate's teriyaki, the minister's filet mignon, and the senate's tempura.
Maybe i should create a kfc in game too... Nah I'd rather die in game and restart as a goblin. After a week of working it's finally the weekend again.
I logged back in, the place was a bit empty, except for the things i asked for there weren't much things in here... I put everything in my inventory, well up to my limit anyway.
And laurel isn't here right now, she's probably still hunting. Right now i will need people to run this place... But first i used 650 gold coins to make a dome like structure with reinforced glass within 1 day! having a thickness of 4 meters, so even if the ores fell the glass won't break.
Next is probably not making this place hidden, so using all the things holy left by the spies, i barely neutralised the vampiric spell used on the illusion barrier placed on the elevator.
I don't have money to build a wall to keep out enemies, so i just hope that an army won't try to attack.
And to my luck, my first visitors! Because i could sense blood coming down. They took this route to escape from something... The blood is strong, it makes my body a bit uncontrollable, but i can handle it.
The scent, judging by it... Its a virgin, a maiden... A holy one... The elevator landed, a paladin wielding a holy hammer holding it against me, and another one carrying an injured holy maiden.
The hammer the paladin is holding is burning my flesh, he said in a dark voice "vampire... Stay... Away..." with my human trait, the holy damage is reduced by half, I'm guessing he's thinking I'm a noble vampire...
I took a step closer and with a smile said "or what?" the burning got more intense, he is injured so he is weak right now, he swung his hammer at me and shouted "for the saintess!"
I dodged the attack easily, it makes sense now... A saintess candidate... I kicked him in the back of his leg and took my sword out from my inventory and knocked him out with the pommel of my sword.
Then walked up to the candidate, the other paladin who's head is bleeding, it looks like he is about to faint from bloodloss.
"stop... Right there! Don't go, any further..." he looks like he's about to cry too... Wielding a holy sword he tried to charge at me, but i immediately dodged it and hit him in the back of his neck with my hands to knock him out.
Then i walked up to the saintess candidate who's slumping on the ground holding her wounds.
"what do you plan to do? Torture us? Turn is into mindless vampires?" i shook my head and said "I'm here to help you..." she did a smug laugh and replied "as if I'd believe you... I've trusted your kind before... I'm not doing it again..."
I sighed and used fire magic to burn her wounds to stop the bleeding, as she screamed in pain. Then i pulled out a medium sized health potion in my inventory, my last healing item and forced her to drink it.
Then i said "just shut up and heal already!"
(authors note: my dumb ass finally know that the sheathe of a sword is called a scabbard and the blunt side is called a hilt)
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