章 8: Determination

Tonight, we were to have dinner at Abigail's, and she was supposed to teach me the proper way to cook seafood. Did I have any desire to learn how to cook seafood? No. I preferred going out for such dishes and letting the experts prepare it for me. But tonight, I would be the one fixing it.

For some reason, I decided to dress up a bit more than I normally did. Abigail always talked about how drab my clothes were. Maybe this would change her opinion and brighten things up a bit. I know I needed to feel cheerier.

As I looked through my closet, a bright red pants outfit I hadn't worn in years caught my eye. Mark always said that red looked really great on me. Why not? Maybe the outfit would cause him to notice me tonight. If nothing else, I’d feel better wearing it.

As I walked down the stairs to meet Mark, I felt good. In fact, there was a slight spring in my step. The suit still fit and certainly flattered my figure. It slimmed me down and brightened my face. My hair was pulled back on one side to expose my gold earrings, the pair with a unique and exotic Celtic design that Mark had bought for me on our honeymoon. The diamond necklace he gave me last year graced my neck. Extra time had been spent on my makeup and some perfume sprayed on my outfit. I felt pretty good.

It must have looked good on me because Mark stopped putting his coat on and just stared at me. I couldn't help but smile as his expression changed to one of longing. His mouth opened slightly in surprise and then his eyes turned a dark green as he looked me up and down. The longer he looked, the quicker his breathing became. It felt good to know that I could still cause all that confusion and desire.

His eyes slowly traveled from my black heels up to the gold barrette holding my hair back. How wonderful it was to have him look at me like that again. He swallowed hard as I walked up to him and kissed him gently on the lips. Deliberately, I allowed the kiss to linger. Never had I seen him so speechless.

“Something wrong, dear?” I reached for my coat and had it on before he managed a single sound.

“You… You look good.” He was staring at me like a teenage boy stared at his dream date.

“Thank you. We had better get to your mom’s so she can teach me how to cook.” Taking his arm, we went out to the car. Maybe tonight wasn't going to be so bad after all.

My psychic powers had obviously taken the evening off. From the moment we entered the house, things went from bad to worse. Abigail was angry that we were three minutes late. Three minutes! No, I’m not kidding. Did it matter that an accident just two blocks from her house had slowed us down? Nope. Nothing we said could smooth her ruffled feathers or calm her down. She began snapping at me and ordering me around the kitchen as though I was a scullery maid. Her revenge for our tardiness was to have me do all the work while she barked orders from her spot at the bar with a glass of wine in hand.

Nothing I did could please her. The spoon wasn't held right, the dishes were rinsed the wrong way. How I had managed to raise a family was beyond her imagination. Tears threatened to spill down my face by the time we all sat down at the table. The wine Nathan offered was eagerly accepted. Maybe it would calm my nerves down.

Before we even had a chance to start eating, Abigail began to tell everyone how inept she thought I was in the kitchen. Her harsh comments had me looking like the village idiot. I could have crawled under the table. She bragged to all that her skill in the kitchen far outdid mine. Every second of my cooking attempt was told in minute detail until she began to repeat herself. Even Nathan became embarrassed and tried to change the subject. Nothing could get her to deviate from her favorite subject of my incompetence. She purposefully aimed every remark at me and might as well have slapped me with every word that came out of her mouth. Whatever had gotten under her saddle was really sticking her hard.

Finally, dessert time had arrived and gave me a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel. That is when Abigail switched gears on everyone and went into direct attack mode.

“Leigh, it seems that you have finally come to your senses about this teaching nonsense. I haven’t heard you talking about it, and that is so wonderful. I mean, it's not like you would have succeeded anyway. At least now you don't have to be humiliated when you fail.” Abigail calmly and regally lifted a bite of cheesecake to her perfectly colored lips.

All I could see was red. This constant bantering and demeaning for the last few years piled in front of me in its entirety on the table. No more! This had to stop now.

My lips tight, I turned and smiled smugly at Abigail. “Actually, not only haven't I given up on this ‘teaching’ nonsense, there is a program that I'm very interested in through one of the Ivy League schools. I've been offered a once in a lifetime chance and I'm not sure that I will be turning it down.”

Every mouth dropped open and their eyes turned to me. I should have felt sorry for Mark since I had not prepared him for this moment, but not only had Abigail pushed all the wrong buttons, she had beaten them in until they were hopelessly broken. I patted Mark’s hand and hoped he would understand that I had lost my temper and couldn’t hold back anymore.

“I’m sorry to spring it on you like this, dear, but I was hoping for a better time. Thanks to your mother, it appears the time is now. It's a chance for me that will never come around again. One of the best things about this is that it is completely free for us. I have been offered an amazing chance by an Ivy League school to help them develop a special educational program that promises to be spectacular.”

A blanket of silence covered the dining room. All eyes were on me. Shock and bewilderment were written all over Abigail's face. Mark looked like a deer caught in headlights. Nathan's look of surprise changed to pleasure.

“Congratulations, Leigh. I’m sure that you'll get a lot out of it.” It felt good to have the first comment be positive. I needed that right now.

Abigail’s face changed. “Nathan, seriously. Do you really think she should be doing this? It's ridiculous that a woman of her age should be going back to school when she has all she needs right now. If she had said she was going to cooking school, I might be more agreeable since that is what she needs to learn the most.”

My attempt at remaining calm seeped away as each of her icy words plunged into my heart. How much more of this did she expect me to endure?

“Actually, Abigail, despite your obnoxious opinion, I cook rather well. I don't need or want your instruction because I seriously doubt that I'll ever make half the foods you concoct, nor will I ever want to.” I placed my napkin next to my plate and pushed back my chair. “For your information, I am not the brainless twit that you imagine me to be. I have a mind, a heart, and a soul that you gleefully spend a lot of time trying to tear apart. For once, I'm going to make a decision that has absolutely nothing to do with you. It won't be based on my fear of how you'll react. For that matter, I'm not worried about how anyone will react. I'm going back to school to follow my dreams. I'm gonna start living again and may each one of you be damned for trying to stop me.”

I stood up and with absolute grace gathered my things and headed out to the car. No one was given the chance to respond to anything I said. I didn’t want or care about their response. For once, courage took over and I spoke up. My only hope was that Mark would support me in this. I would give him five minutes to follow or he would be left behind. No longer was I going to be a doormat. My determination to be a real woman had won out.

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