章 19: Do have some fun

I woke up the next morning to the sound of Harin knocking on my door.

"Wake up sleepy head" she yelled.

"Go away" I groaned as I rolled over in bed, but not even a second later she came barging in.

I need to change that damn lock I thought as she pulled away my blanket. I decided it was no use in staying in bed for she will make sure that I got up.

I sat up in bed only to see her with a bucket of cold water by her side ready to make her move. I know she has been dying to do that for the past four years and I wasn't going to give her that opportunity.

"Seriously?"

I sighed my eyes as rolled out of bed.

I didn't have the energy to argue today. I woke up yesterday feeling as light and fluffy as a cloud but this morning I felt as heavy as a loaded truck.

Why was Harin so happy today? Did I imagine what she said last night?

I couldn't have. Maybe she just decided to forget about it just as I should, I thought as I entered the bathroom and closed the door.

The cold water didn't even phase me in my zombie state when it hit my skin. I scrubbed my body absentmindedly and like a robot exited the bathroom and got dressed.

I threw on an over sized hoodie and sweats and exited my room to find Harin sipping coffee.

She looked me up and down and decided to say nothing. She gently slid over another cup and I took a big gulp.

"Woahhh slow down there tiger. It's not a competition" she said jokingly.

I wasn't in the mood for jokes so I just smiled and continued to down my drink.

I was still feeling down in the taxi as we headed to the campus. I still hadn't charge my bus card so we had to take the taxi. It was more expensive but I didn't care. It was better than getting a ride from Shiwoo.

Shiwoo. Just the thought of the name causes a pang in my chest. I don't even know why I'm hurt. It's not like we were together or he cheated on me or anything so why does it hurt so fucking much?

I know why, it's that damn before period hormones that's got me going insane. Stupid hormones.

Harin paid the driver upon arriving at the University gate saying, "Thank you sir."

and we exited and I pulled my hood over my head avoiding every one who might want to talk. I groaned as I remembered that it was Wednesday which means that it was going to be a long day.

I entered the building and found my first class of the day. I whined to myself but it seemed as if my tone was louder than I thought, "Ughh I thought Wednesdays were supposed to be a chill day you know like a pre Fridays."

"Tell me about it" said one of my class mates named Minjae from beside me.

I smiled as I took my seat next to him. Minjae was a very nice guy. We have been classmates for the past almost four years but we haven't talked that much. Maybe I should date a normal guy to get over Shiwoo I thought as Miss. Song entered the room.

She was my Literature teacher which was my minor.

On any other usual day I would be paying attention in class like a good student but today I just wasn't feeling too hot. I kept zoning out and Minjae noticed and would often tap me on my shoulder to tune me back into reality.

"You okay?" he would ask each time and my answer would be the,

"yeah sure fine thanks" to get him to leave me alone.

I couldn't wait for school to end. It was almost summer and almost graduation. It was just a few months away but these months have been dragging on agonizingly forever it had seemed. Graduation symbolizes my freedom of school but this will be the first graduation where I have no family members attending. They were all back home in Jamaica and I am here alone.

The thought of being alone in a strange country has finally sunk in after four years. I felt even more sad from the realization. I want to go home. What am I even doing here?

No I can't give up. I have come too far and I am too close to just let go.

I made up my mind then there that no future obstacles will cause me to consider giving up on my dreams. I can and will do this I thought as I saw the rest of the class packing and exiting the lecture room.

"Huh? Two hours have gone by already?" I thought out loud as I picked up my school bag not having to have to worry about packing up stationery for I had been so caught up that I didn't even bother to take them out.

"Miss Carter" I heard my professor called and I froze.

"Yes miss?" I asked nervously and confused.

"May I speak with you for a minute?" she politely asked but I know damn well that I didn't have a choice.

"Sure thing Miss S. I'll be right there" I said walking to the front of the class room towards her desk. I heard some of the remaining kids say ,"Ouu" and I felt even more nervous. I had never been called to the teachers desk before so this felt weird and foreign to me.

I approached and stood in front of her desk and she immediately spoke, "Now I don't mean to pry in your personal life but is everything okay with you? You seemed off today but you are usually on top of your game?"

Was my mood so bad that it got even my teacher worried?

I replied to her smiling to ease her worry away "No need to worry miss S. I am fine. Truly. Thanks for your concern."

She gave me sympathetic smile and said, " I know you are lying but I won't press on any further. Whatever it is I hope it gets better soon and that it doesn't affect your grade. Finals are coming up and I am rooting for you and that scholarship Atalia. Don't disappoint me or yourself. You can do this." she smiled once more and did the same. I felt a little better.

"Oh and by the way a little fun won't kill you. You are a young lady in college so make the most of it. Go out have fun make memories but do be responsible. No unprotected sex now." she winked and my eyes widened. "Now that is all you're late for your next class. Do have a good day." She said as she left smiling.

Her words left me feeling lighter than this morning despite her suggestive remark.

She was right I should make memories. The working world is cruel and more demanding so might as well enjoy life before entering it I thought as I walked to my other class that was shared with Harin.

I think I might go to a party this weekend. There seem to be parties every weekend so why not make the most of my college years and attend like what wise old Miss. Song said.

Who knows. Maybe I might like it.