章 14: Grief

*Things like sexism and racism are purely for worldbuilding and to make it more realistic. Thank you for your understanding.*

Qingshan City.

Qing Bai lay comfortably within the arms of a man on a large bed. She was perspiring with sweat all over her body so it was obvious what sort of activities the two had been up to until recently.

The man was on his back, looking up at the ceiling. His body barely took up one-fifth of the length of the bed, showing how huge it was. The sheets barely covered either of them, exposing the man's broad shoulders and large chest. His muscles weren't as defined as Qing Fang's but they were definitely larger. As the sheets only covered Qing Bai's lower half, her large breasts were on display as she pushed them up against the man's arm as they cuddled.

The room was very large and furnished with expensive chairs and loungers, showing the wealth of whoever owned this mansion.

Qing Bai was the first of the two to snap out of reverie. She turned her eyes filled with love to the man next to her and spoke. "Su Jie, now that we are engaged, I need to tell Little Fang." She waited for the man to open his eyes and respond as she knew he was awake.

As expected, the man opened his eyes and directed a tired glance her way. "Ah Bai, I don't know why you bother with that kid. He's clearly not interested in what you do." After he said these words, he dropped his head back down onto the pillow beneath it. His skin was a bit redder than normal, showing the exertion he had to use to tame the wild beast that is Qing Bai.

When Qing Bai heard what her fianceé said, her loving look didn't change. It was clear she was extremely tolerant of this man. However, that is a good thing. Tolerance is the key to a long-lasting relationship.

"I know he's a little strange, but after our parents died when he was two, he'd show little interest in anything. Actually...now that I think about it, he was a bit disinterested even as a baby. It's just who he is. If you can't adapt to that, we're going to fall out, you know?" Qing Bai spoke with a pondering look. After she spoke, she shot a provocative glance toward Qing Su Jie.

Opening his eyes for the second time, Su Jie faced Qing Bai without backing down. "The way I see it, the kid's a little brat. He's angry at everything around him and only thinks he's right. That sort of worldview will get him killed someday. Ah, Bai, you should've been tougher when he was young."

Qing Bai's gaze turned icy cold. "Don't disrespect my brother to my face."

Being faced with this massively overprotective sister, Su Jie could only sigh in defeat. "Sigh, okay okay. I'm sorry. Actually, I'll tell you what he needs. A beautiful girl to bring him down to earth."

This time, Qing Bai was the one who could only sigh. 'How is he supposed to get a girlfriend if he doesn't even have any friends...' However, she didn't say this out loud due to consideration of her brother. "Yes, you're right."

After that, she got up from the bed, exposing her nude body for her fianceé to see. Under his gaze, she put on a blue robe made of silk. It made her look like a goddess as she walked seductively in it, her hips swaying from side to side.

The reason why Qing Bai was so protective of Qing Fang was due to the age gap between them. When Qing Fang's parents died, Qing Bai was seventeen while he was two. After this, Qing Bai took it upon herself to raise him by herself. At that time, she was only a Stage 2 cultivator and could only afford a small shack for the two of them. After she became Stage 5, she moved out and into this mansion she and Su Jie were currently in. She left Qing Fang in the shack, but he was capable of paying the rent by himself. She actually offered for him to move in with her, but he rejected with a strange look on his face. Back then, he was only twenty years old.

During the course of her raising him, Qing Fang's strange attitude caused her to contemplate seeking exterior help many times. The reason for this was Qing Fang's impartial attitude. Even if he cut his hand badly, he would just stare at it. Thinking that this development was caused due to her own inexperience in raising a child, Qing Bai cried many nights to sleep. Apologising to their parents that she failed in raising Qing Fang.

Unbeknownst to her, Qing Fang was not a normal child. His temperament was not something that could be changed even with the strictest parenting. In actuality, good parenting would've made Qing Fang's mask thicker and his sociopathic nature deeper.

And while Su Jie thought that Qing Fang was a brat, it was only what he'd heard from Qing Bai. He had met Qing Fang once and he seemed really friendly. His smile was impeccable. However, hearing how Qing Fang acted toward Qing Bai when they were alone, Su Jie speculated that he hated his sister for some reason, most likely to do with their parents. The current consensus he had come to, and even told Qing Bai, was that Qing Fang was jealous of his sister as she got to be raised by their parents.

When Su Jie told Qing Bai this, she only had a sad look in her eyes and blamed herself. When he saw this, a sense of loathing developed toward Qing Fang. This was because Qing Fang was making the woman he loved so sad. At this, his impression that Qing Fang was a 'brat' was solidified even deeper.

Naturally, Qing Fang was uncaring of what these two people thought of him. Why would he waste his time fixing his impression? A few people being exposed to his true nature wasn't that bad, and those few people didn't even realise it. Qing Bai could've easily realised Qing Fang was a sociopath, but she hadn't. Qing Fang speculated that the reason for this was emotion, proving to himself that it was unnecessary and even weakness.

It was also due to this that Qing Fang was very troubled. He had two sides to his personality: pride and sociopathic. He was troubled as pride was an emotion and a weakness. It had already been shown when he killed Qing Jinfeng. His pride almost caused him to die. But he could do nothing about it. When it surfaces within him, he could be said to be a different person.

When Qing Bai offered him monetary support, the sociopath would've taken it shamelessly while the pride rejected it with burning anger.

Qing Bai left the large bedroom after walking for half a minute from the bed. Leaving Su Jie there, she had to go and notify the servants to ready breakfast. She had told them not to disturb them in the bedroom so she would have to go and tell them herself.

Waltzing the halls of her mansion, Qing Bai passed a few servants tasked with cleaning. They respectfully bowed toward the lady of the mansion before hurrying to their stations. She needed to find the head butler to notify him to prepare food. These maids are no help.

Walking along the clean wooden floor, no sound was made. The whole house was reinforced for a Stage 5 cultivator to stay. All the beds, furniture and appliances were as well. Qing Bai herself weighed a ton while Su Jie, who was also Stage 5 and a minor elder, weighed two whole tons! This was because Su Jie was peak Stage 5 while she herself was bottom Stage 5.

Within Stages, there was another classification of bottom, middle, higher and peak. At the lower Stages, cultivators wouldn't bother with this as the difference was minute, however, at the higher Stages, the difference got higher and higher. It was said that a peak Stage 8 could easily kill numerous higher Stage 8s.

And while mortal men and women were drastically different in strength, with men being sixty to eighty per cent stronger than women, the difference was less apparent in cultivators. After all, the difference wouldn't just disappear. Are women supposed to have a bigger increase in strength, making them equal?

The heavens are equal.

The difference between men and women was decided by the Laws of Nature. However, as the strength increase for bigger and bigger, the difference was less. It was at Stage 4 that men and women were completely equal in physical strength. This was because the initial difference is nothing when put up against the strength of a Stage 4 cultivator.

In simple terms: when mortals, men were sixty per cent stronger than women. When Stage 1, men were thirty per cent stronger. When Stage 2, men were ten per cent stronger. When Stage 3, men were two per cent stronger. At Stage 4, the number was less than 0.01 per cent. And this was only regarding physical strength. Regarding spirituality and the strength of the ability, men and women were completely equal.

Qing Bai, as a Stage 5 cultivator, was weaker than a same-stage man by less than 0.005 per cent. Making them essentially equal in strength.

The hallway that Qing Bai was walking down suddenly branched out as the wall on her left disappeared. Instead, she saw a beautiful garden with many trees growing in the morning sun. Letting the light of the sun shine on her face, Qing Bai smiled. She was thinking how Qing Fang would react when she told him she was engaged.

From this, it was obvious that Qing Bai was a bit delusional. From her previous encounters with Qing Fang, he had always been uncaring of her personal matters. This was the sociopath in him. He didn't want to hear about such useless things. However, she had deluded herself into thinking he cared deep down. Unfortunately, she was wrong.

Taking a step onto the grass of the garden, she felt satisfied with life at this moment. She was accomplished in cultivation, becoming a minor elder within the Clan. She had found the love of her life, Qing Su Jie. And she had a cute little tsundere brother. She was nothing but happy at this moment as the morning sun basked her within its light.

However, nothing good lasts forever.

She was suddenly attracted by the sound of running on the grass around herself. Opening her eyes, she saw her head butler running toward her with a solemn face. Her garden wasn't as big as Li Shan's forest so the distance the head butler had to cross was relatively short.

The head Butler showed off his Stage 2 cultivation as he hurried over.

When the old man got close enough to respectfully kneel down before her, Qing Bai got a good look at him.

He was currently wearing very formal servant robes, more luxurious than the others, showing his status as a head servant. The robes were white with black patterns on them, the colours of a servant. He seemed around seventy as his head of hair was completely chalk white but he didn't look old enough in the face to have completely white hair. The man was very clean, as all servants had to be, as his refined posture when kneeling showed his expertise and experience. However, he currently had a very solemn look on his face right now.

Qing Bai didn't see this as she greeted. "Hua Li, I was just about to find you. I want breakfast prepared within the half-hour. The usual is fine but leave out the bean sprouts, Su Jie hates them." With a little chuckle at the end of her sentence, it was obvious how happy she was at the moment.

Old Hua caught on. "My Lady, I am extremely sorry as you seem to be in a joyous mood, but I have grievous news." He spoke clearly and cleanly, as expected of a veteran butler. His solemn atmosphere contrasted the bright sun shining down on the garden as birds sang and rabbits hopped.

Qing Bai heard the phrase "grievous news" and she suddenly became uneasy. Her beautiful face emanated nervousness as she bit her lip in anxiety. "Hurry up, speak." She blurted out quickly, showing an unrefined aura, unlike her usual self. Her eyebrows were creased as lines appeared on her smooth face. Currently, in a beautiful robe, she looked like a distressed princess.

Old Hua spoke. "My Lady, the news came in just now. Yesterday eve, the first son of elder Li Shan was roaming the forest..." Qing Bai got visibly less nervous. She thought that it was news that all the elders had to hear. Maybe some sort of announcement? "...however, he was killed."

Qing Bai was annoyed. How was this 'grievous' news? She spoke harshly at Hua Li that had got her nervous for no reason. "Well? Catch the perpetrator then. I don't see how this news concerns me."

Old Hua hesitated. "...the perpetrator had already been killed." He was inwardly shouting at himself. 'Why have you spoken in such a way, idiot!' The conversation left his control as he still had yet to deliver the news and his Lady had already relaxed.

Qing Bai was interested in who would dare kill the first son of Li Shan, but hearing the murderer was already dead, she wasn't surprised. "Who was this perpetrator?" She spoke inquisitively and articulately. After the initial shock, she had already regained her masterly aura.

Old Hua wanted to speak but the words were stuck in his throat. At this stage, he was scared for his life. As he led on his Lady when he told her the identity of the perpetrator, would she kill him in anger? "It was...the Lady's brother, young master Qing Fang." Hua Li added the unnecessary "young master" as well as shrunk his head back, showing his subservience.

When Qing Bai heard her brother's name, she was in so much shock that she didn't even link the events for a moment. She had a confused look on her face for a moment before her eyes shrunk to pin-size and her body started shaking. Silent tears flowed endlessly down her cheeks.

Countless scenes ran through her head at this moment. Qing Fang's sweet smile when she introduced Su Jie to him. His cute stubbornness as he rejected the money she offered. And then...the scene of him fighting for his life in the dark as she lay in bed, having sex with Su Jie. A fictional scene of Qing Fang's face being shocked as he was stabbed in the chest and fell ran through Qing Bai's head.

Overwhelming guilt ran amok in her body as she started crying audibly. Opening her teary eyes to see Hua Li still in front of her when she was crying like this, she shouted while crying. "L-leave!! Now!!" After managing to splutter these words, she fell back into the abyss of sadness she had built for herself. The scene of Qing Fang being stabbed in the chest and left in the dark forest all alone played itself over and over inside her head as she wept loudly.

'In how much pain...how lonely he must've been. Who will miss him...but me?' Thinking back to how Qing Fang didn't even have any friends, Qing Bai got herself even more upset. The image of him always being alone changed to him quietly bleeding out in the forest all alone. Thinking of this, she wailed even louder.

An intense pain grabbed ahold of Qing Bai's heart. She could physically feel it gripping her heart and squeezing it.

...

Qing Su Jie lay in bed, waiting for Qing Bai to return so they could cuddle some more.

The sun shone through the window on the right, illuminating the white sheets he lay under and those that Qing Bai had been. Feeling the urge to follow her out of the room to see her, Su Jie dispelled it.

'If I leave the bed to find her, there's a chance we won't get back in bed.' Not wanting that to happen, Su Jie commended himself for his self-control. The urge to follow Qing Bai and hug her from behind was strong, but he managed to fight it if he could lay in bed with her longer.

Waiting diligently, the sound of crying suddenly caught his ears. As he was Stage 5, his hearing was extremely strong. 'Is one of the maids crying? Too bad... If they are making this much noise, they'll probably be fired.' Feeling bad for the 'maid' that might lose her job, it was obvious that Su Jie was a good man.

However, as he was still listening, he heard the 'maid' who was crying shout "L-leave!! Now!!" Intense doubt shrouded his bearing. 'Would a maid scream like that?' Su Jie didn't think a maid would say something like that if she was making a scene. However, what made him doubt even more was something else.

'Isn't this... Ah Bai's voice?'

Feeling that he was right, Su Jie jumped from the bed and put a men's robe on. It was the same as Qing Bai's but the shoulders were broader and the waist was slightly thinner. From the fit, it was probably custom made for him. In truth, after he and Qing Bai had sex for the first time together, the next morning they went out and got these custom robes together. It was obvious how much they loved each other.

Running out of the bedroom while making sure not to destroy the floors by stomping too hard, Su Jie made his way into the hall and gradually saw the wall on his left side disappear in front of him. Getting a view of the garden, Su Jie immediately saw a beautiful figure in a luxurious robe keeling over on the grass while sobbing loudly.

Realising that it was truly his Bai that had been crying, Su Jie hated himself as he didn't come sooner, he just lay in bed listening to the sound of his precious Bai weep.

Immediately running over, he picked up Qing Bai who was curling up into a ball on the ground. She struggled in his arms at first but then nestled her head into his chest as she cried. Feeling his precious woman shiver in his arms while weeping so loudly, Su Jie began to feel a bit upset as well. Wrapping his arms around her as he knelt down with her and rocked her back and forward, Su Jie pacified her with a gentle voice.

Although he still didn't know the cause of this, Su Jie did all he could to soothe Qing Bai. Just a few minutes ago, they had been cuddling together in a soft bed and now this...

After Qing Bai had stopped crying so loudly, Su Jie asked why she was crying. "Shh, shh. Ah Bai, why are you crying, my dear?" He spoke with a gentle and loving tone as he stroked Qing Bai's soft hair as she sniffed.

Surfacing her face from Su Jie's chest to look at him, she intended to speak. Su Jie saw Qing Bai's face as tears streamed down them and the tip of her nose was red due to sniffing. However, when he saw those beautiful eyes filled with unimaginable sorrow, he felt he needed to get rid of it, quickly. Just the sight of Qing Bai being sad hurt his heart.

"L-little *sniff**deep breath* Fang is *sniff**deep breath* d-dead." After she had said this, Qing Bai burst into tears again and Su Jie hugged her head into his chest once more.

'So Qing Fang is dead.' At this, Su Jie was also a little sad. He had only met Qing Fang once and felt he was a really nice young man with a kind heart. The bad impression he had built of him came from when he heard how Qing Fang acted toward his sister. However, he had never truly experienced it himself so he couldn't say he actually hated Qing Fang. Hearing he was suddenly dead, Su Jie was also upset besides the effect it had on Qing Bai.

Knowing that this was the reason for Qing Bai being so upset, Su Jie thought it was completely natural. After all, Qing Bai raised Qing Fang herself so she loved him like a mother loved her son. Moreover, she felt she hadn't raised him properly so she had guilt buried deep inside her. Knowing that he was suddenly dead, the impact was bound to be great.

After thinking of this, Su Jie suddenly picked up Qing Bai in his arms and carried her away. He was going to take her back to the bed where he could look after her until she had recuperated. Su Jie knew that intense mourning often took a toll on the body. So, he planned to make her stay in bed and feed her himself until he thinks she is ready.

Under the gazes of a few maids, Su Jie took the crying Qing Bai back to the bedroom.