章 1: HER GRACE, JESCA JOHN- (THE INVITE)
Eventually it hurts to try, to even make the slightest of effort, there is so much hurt a man can take. Well, bloody hell, I have had it with love, I'm whacked out ready to drop. I want to make an effort to feel someone, I and many others, must say enough is enough at last with certainty. Love killed us in appalling confidence, and we shall take pride in stating our final convictions. As far behind as I can recall, I have always been at war with love, it can only compel you to yearn for things as abundant as make you completely abhor them, detest them even thwart the very essence of how they depict in your bloody existence. You end up disregarding realities about the heart and aspirations, you're lost in the advent of both your desires and passion consigned to the graves within, so vastly.
Love has recited the narrative for me multiple times, desire has withered my life to dust, lust has made a pact with my soul, so much for happily ever after.
Your grace, yet today I am solely consumed in you exceedingly, I am charmed with ambitions for you, sincerely hopeless in your presence, confused by the excitement and sensation in manner, my tongue confides all the erroneous reasons, motives, intentions in the reality of your beauty. Still, it seems you relish me in the obscenest ways, the little devil you are. Ambitions can only bring you so as far, I confess I have turned disastrous and miserable. Your beauty is a mockery to men who desire you and you withhold them from the pleasure, I hunger for days long forgotten when you compelled me from the lust burning when you were near me, the anticipation from the conflict grinding between the thought of our lips softening on each other.
Now it's apparent, it's an empty void of numerous promised fairy tales and adventures, it was not love, you upset me love, you terrify me love, am scared of love when its assembled in one soul, especially when it's the memory of Jesca John and how love turned on me. Am certain she has no clue as to what position this little to do relationship has repelled back at me, barking and hissing in all directions. I was warned, to say the signs were immediate and visible from the beginning of time with that pecky hello and comforting smile. There were yet times I felt as significant. I was single handily inconceivable of the addiction at per. Am yet to seamer into the darkness of bodily thoughts.
Pure surrender captivated me, so when she knocked on my door that bloody afternoon, I was committed to indulge her to the gamble of love and the devil held his dice high just in case.