章 62: Part nine - Once, a liar, a cheater and a deciver met 13/??
The pirates in the gorge again mingled into one big mess. And the reason for this was, as far as the Hats sitting on the tree understood, either spikes, or some kind of thorns, or something else in the same spirit. From this distance, they simply could not see what exactly Usopp was scattering across the ground. However, as soon as the pirates crossed the oil-drenched area, they screamed in unison. Some were lucky to collapse backwards, onto their comrades, but some were less fortunate, and, conversely, fell forward, right on the thorns or whatever Usopp had scattered on the ground.
The tree favored by the Straw Hat family grew quite far from the shore, but they could still clearly hear the painful screams of those pirates who were not fortunate enough to collapse right on the thorns. And then Usopp opened a downright hurricane of fire on the trapped enemy. Luffy would certainly have approved of this approach, if not for the guy's choice of weapons.
- He is fucking kidding! - Luffy exclaimed. - Slingshot ?! Seriously?! If from the very beginning he just wanted to die, I could arrange it for him myself, - despite all the words, for some reason there was no particular irritation in the guy's voice.
Nami, for example, was inclined to think that Luffy simply couldn't make a choice between "Cool, slingshot, I've never seen anything like this!" and "Fuck, slingshot, is he a complete idiot ?!" The eternal desire to see everything interesting, funny, incredible has habitually entered into a clinch with ordinary logic and common sense. It was always like that with her captain.
- I would like to say that not everyone is capable of killing, so an alternative is needed, but ... well ... in this situation, hanging, drowning or opening your veins would really be much easier, - Johnny had to agree with Luffy. - And still not so painful, for a long time and certainly without having to make so much effort.
- I get it, - Luffy said unexpectedly, - it's all about this girl of his. I'm sure she thoroughly rinsed his brains out with this nonsense about zombies, and now he is sure that he will not die completely, even if he is killed ... on the other hand, what if it the truth? - Looking up from the binoculars, Luffy looked at Nami and Johnny standing next to him with a very bad twinkle in his eyes. - What if her parents were doing some secret research to prolong human life? Some kind of resurrection elixir or something? But either the government decided to get rid of them, or the calculations turned out to be wrong, and some experiment ended in their death. And now, perhaps this Usopp's wannabe-zombie has found their tapes and decided to complete the project they started ... or is it even more interesting? - the twinkle in Luffy's eyes grew stronger. - If I remember correctly, Usopp did say she got sick right after her parents died? But what if she actually died a long time ago, and her parents simply resurrected her? However, now, without their support, death began to take its toll, so she got sick ... it is only natural that she will get sick! The dead cannot recover - everyone knows it! Fu Fu Fu! This is amazing! If she decided to turn Usopp into a zombie too, we definitely need to let him die, and then I will finally have my own zombie !!! Oh damn I can't wait! It was not for nothing that Zoro cut our "Thing". I knew it was Destiny. My own zombie ... fu-fu-fu ... I couldn't even dream of such a thing!
- And I will stop your dreams here! - Nami hit Luffy in the head without any pity. This his usual "shi-shi-shi" never boded well, and because of "fu-fu-fu" often someone died at all. Worse was only the frankly villainous "ze-ha-ha-ha", but such a Luffy was no longer subject to stopping. - We will not let Usopp die today just because you have lost all connection with reality again!
- Zombies exist! - with a manic gleam in his eyes, Luffy declared hotly. - And someday I will definitely find myself such into family!
- I'm not going to live side by side with a decaying corpse! - the girl immediately turned pale.
- Do you really believe in zombies ?! - Johnny stared at her.
- In terms of? - Nami stared at him in turn. - You yourself talked yesterday about zombies, and who can be and who can not!
- So what? I just recounted what I once read in a book! In fact, they are not!
- Not?
- Sure!
- Are you sure?
- Yes!
- Okay, then let me rephrase my question: are you absolutely sure that Luffy can't find a real zombie anywhere in the world?
- ...
- I thought so, - Nami nodded in satisfaction, then turned back to Luffy, and, as if Johnny hadn't said anything at all, repeated to herself, - I'm not going to live side by side with decomposing corpse!
- Nami, - Luffy replied with a patronizing smile, - decomposing zombies are only the first level. Everyone knows that these zombies ultimately make skeletal zombies. Walking bones, whitened, cannot smell of decomposition. I guarantee! True, if these bones do not possess reason, then, no matter how painful it is for me to admit it, it is unlikely that even me will be able to train them. Therefore, I plan to enclose it in a glass coffin and put it somewhere in a conspicuous place. It will be great!
- Enclose in a glass coffin? Then I didn't understand why, in this situation, why look for a skeleton? - Johnny asked, embarrassed. - If a zombie is in a glass coffin, wouldn't it be better to put something that is still decaying there? The smell from it will not be there anyway, and the still decaying zombies look, in my opinion, much more terrible than ordinary skeletons. A skeleton is a skeleton, even a zombie, what is there to be afraid of?
Luffy froze as if pierced by a sudden idea. Although, why "like"? And so it was!
- And how did I not think about it myself ?! - Luffy groaned, hiding his face in his hands. - I was so focused on the smell and the skeleton in the glass coffin that I didn't even think about combining the two ideas into one. And why only either-or? Two coffins will look even cooler! In addition, there is no, but a variety!
- Ryu, - Nami said completely emotionlessly, turning to the guy with an expression that matched her voice.
- Uh-uh ... huh?
- DO NOT GIVE HIM IDEAS !!!
Nami's fist sent the guy straight to the ground, where Yosaku lay quietly. Without touching or disturbing anyone, the guy idly puffed on a cigar for his pleasure. A cigar, which he swallowed whole when Johnny, ejected from a tree, fell on top of him. The swallowed cigar got across Yosaku's throat, which caused the convulsively twitching guy hit with his foot in the jaw of the sleeping Zoro, sending him flying through the nearby bushes.
- Seriously, why are there only idiots around me? - closing her eyes and squeezing the bridge of her nose with two fingers, wearily asked Nami the world around her. The world predictably did not respond. - There are some simple rules, so why can't anyone remember them?
- RYUUU !!! - Yosaku roared, finally swallowing his cigar completely.
- It's not my fault, it's all Nami!
- WHO DID THIS!!! - roared from behind the bushes finally awakened Zoro.
- It's not my fault, it's all Ryu!
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