Jiang Yanxu's eyes were still puffed. He wiped the tears that welled up in his eyes with the sleeve, leaving a red mark in the corner of his eyes. He said without wavering, "It's been thirteen years and I still regret everything. After ten years in jail, I kept mourning for my sins to him. If only I wasn't blind to see someone's integrity, I would never have regrets as I do now. I'm sorry ... I'm sorry." There was a pain at the end of his words.
For a second, Lu Xin'ai glanced at the man with dullness in her eyes before she turned her face back ahead. When she heard the man keep apologizing, a deep sorrow abruptly arose in her heart, making her chest feel sore. There was rage and regret that she couldn't express.
How many apologetic words Jiang Yanxu said and how often he said them—even if Yan An had forgiven him—wouldn't change what had gone on in the past.
After all, not hating someone who broke her family's heart was unthinkable. Been thirteen years, the man was still regretful and the wound in Lu Xin'ai's heart was still scarred.
Still, hatred, revenge, and anger, weren't the solution.
Lu Xin'ai was brought up like a man by her father. She was told not to be a crybaby; she wasn't allowed to be a complainer; she shouldn't be overly sensitive to people, so she couldn't cry easily.
Yet, Yan An's past was too bitter to remember. Lu Xin'ai fought desperately to hold back the tears that were about to burst.
But, Lu Xin'ai was a woman and had a woman's heart. She couldn't avoid it.
If a man could cry over this problem, what about a woman?
Lu Xin'ai was crying discreetly. Her heart couldn't lie to herself once she remembered how Yan An had stood all the time.
Yan An suffered a lot after the divorce. But, his love for Jiang Yanxu was always truthful. It was just that someone rejected him many times.
Who's sorry now?
If it weren't for the conflict in the Jiang Family, Jiang Yanxu would never know how much Yan An loved him. He would never mourn anything in his life. And, for thirteen years, Lu Xin'ai was sure that Jiang Yanxu would spend that time spoiling his new wife no matter how Yan An cried for him over the years.
Silence filled the atmosphere between them for a long moment, until Jiang Yanxu finally asked hesitantly, "Yan An hadn't visited me in the past five years. Is he married to Wen Huiyi?" his raspy voice sounded terrible, breaking the air in the gloomy gap.
Hearing Jiang Yanxu's question, Lu Xin'ai's face suddenly lost its expression. She turned to Jiang Yanxu beside her, focusing her eyes on the same spot emotionlessly.
For a moment the air became very cold, freezing both people in the car.
Lu Xin'ai didn't have any feelings of hatred or anger towards him anymore; it was a kind of stagnation emotion due to extreme grief.
She turned her face ahead, grinning, but what was seen wasn't exhilaration. He repeated Jiang Yanxu's words to herself, "Is he married ... is he married to Wen Huiyi?"
Her voice was quiet. Every sound that came out of her mouth was like blood from her torn vocal cords, "He ... is dead. Five years ago. That's why he didn't come to visit you over the years."
Followed by silence, Jiang Yanxu froze and the air around them instantly became silent as if the world was muted.
There was no wind blowing, not even the sound of their breathing.
Was Jiang Yanxu deaf or was it the world that had become noiseless?
For a moment, Jiang Yanxu felt like to be tricked. He heard Lu Xin'an's words obviously, but when he opened his mouth, nothing came out.
As if someone whack his heart hard, Jiang Yanxu's eyes extremely turned red like a beast. He clenched his fists, and immediately hit the car window with a loud bang, yelling like he was spitting blood and pain, "You're lying, right?! Don't shock me!"
If Lu Xin'ai wasn't a woman, Jiang Yanxu would have committed acts of violence. No matter if he had to go to prison a second time and be sentenced to death, this madman just wanted to hear Lu Xin'ai say: 'Of course, I lied. I was joking", and at the end of her words she burst out laughing to reassure Jiang Yanxu.
His red, watery eyes reflected how much he wanted to hear that!
But until the end, Lu Xin'ai didn't say anything except for something that hit Jiang Yanxu's heart even worse!
"I'll take you to the cemetery where Brother Yan is buried."
As soon as Lu Xin'ai finished her words, she pulled the gas lever, then sped off on the crowded road.
In another hand, Jiang Yanxu's body instantly went limp as if he was only a boneless lump of flesh leaning against the seat. His depressing sights were gradually shrouded in a mist of sorrow; staring blankly ahead, seeing nothing in front of him but pain and despair.
He tried to quiet himself down, trying not to yell, and in the end, he managed to stand it until they arrived at the cemetery.
Jiang Yanxu hurriedly got out of the car, but when he was standing right in front of the cemetery gates, he suddenly stopped. He stared at the pamphlet, with the words: 'Rest in Peace for the Next Life. He read it over and over again without knowing what the meaning he wanted to know by the clause.
He was stunned for a long time, still unable to believe the word he just heard.
As if he had just been thrown down hard onto the earth and shattered into pieces. He could accept the news of Yan An and Wen Huiyi's marriage, but he couldn't accept Yan An's death.
Soon after that, Lu Xin'ai, who had been watching him for a long time, touched his shoulder gently. "Brother-in-law, come with me."
Lu Xin'ai walked in first, while Jiang Yanxu was still stunned in silence.
At first, Jiang Yanxu was hesitant to take a step in, but he finally followed Lu Xin'ai from behind.
As soon as they arrived at a grave, Jiang Yanxu felt his heart explode, then threw many tears in his eyes when he saw the name on the gravestone. His legs became paralyzed and fell to the ground, he immediately embraced the gravestone and said something loudly, expressing many regrets that he hadn't expressed yet.