章 23: Prelude 4 - A Hanging Dream, Part 1
dream /driːm/
an aspiration; goal; aim:
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What is true death?
One could have so many hopes and dreams, and be entirely oblivious to the concept of death before their life is suddenly snatched away at a moment's notice.
So what does it mean to have a rightful death? Could someone possibly die without having accomplished anything, without doing right by their life?
If this was a world of fantasy; if it were the fanciful world of a reclusive loner deprived of any imagination, then one would die with ease in their heart, knowing full well their wasted lives will be revived in a new world to their liking that would make something out of them, make them new people.
But this wasn't that fanciful world.
For he was still far from death.
※※※※
Opening his eyes as best he could, which felt like they hadn't been opened in years from how dry they were — any more and he'd feel his eye sockets being pulled out — Zachary Ashworth was met with a scene of faint light.
Before he knew it, the light had turned into a completely white surface. However, it wasn't a case of being hit with a light so bright causing temporary blindness. The scene had become clearer: a simple scene that almost everyone would see upon their awakening in the morning. This was just a ceiling; a white, fluorescent, ceiling. Nothing out of the ordinary thus far.
Had he been awakened from a dream? The first question hit his thoughts.
But his mind was elsewhere. There was a sound echoing in his ear, which seemed to be suppressed from how gruff it was. Simply put, it was a matter of his ears not opening up fully yet. Be that as it may, he strived to know what it was — it had been written in his nature. Following the pattern at which it resonated, and matching it with the times his heart struck a beat, it was easy to determine what this was. In fact, it was easy to determine where he was.
Sleeping on an unfamiliar bed. Awoken to an unfamiliar white ceiling. Long fluorescent lights. Tired eyes and ears that were still off in dreamland. A feeling of unrest. A heart-rate monitor.
「The hospital…?」
With one answer covered, he moved onto the next. He tried as best he could to remember what had happened prior for him to end up in a hospital of all places.
A cold scene of the streets flashed in his eyes.
"...!"
It all came back to him.
The somber sky. The rain. The cold street. The push. The light.
*CRASH*
「So cold…」
It was a cold evening on a Fall's day, he remembered, so cold the snow — out of time and place — wailed and wavered against the wind. He could only remember the feeling of the glacial surface that was beneath him, the piercing frost that crawled all over his body and deeming it all numb from the pain. After that… sleep; long and cold sleep.
An accident like that, in the eyes of many, would result in tragedy.
Yet here he was, sitting on a bed in a hospital, recovering from whatever injuries had sprung up in his body.
Zachary was still alive.
「Can't have what I want… even in death.」
"Oh?! M-Mr. Ashworth?! You're awake?!"
A voice, unfamiliar to his ears, echoed in the place.
Still, in his dizzy and half-conscious state, he tried to focus on what the voice said. It didn't matter who was there, it mattered that someone was there. Someone could tell him what happened after the accident, and that was all he needed at the moment.
"What…" He mustered up all his strength and tried to clear his sore throat, "What happened?"
Gathering up all his strength, he tilted his head slightly to the left, toward the direction the voice came from. Sure enough, there was someone standing beside him. He was tall and coated in a lab coat. It was no doubt a doctor. Surrounding him were a few nurses with looks of distress and astonishment on their faces.
"Um…," the doctor seemed to have a look of surprise and confusion plastered on his face, "You were involved in a truck accident. B-But… it seems like you're okay…," he turned to the nurse beside him, "Go get Dr. Geller, now! His patient's awake."
The nurse immediately rushed out of the room.
Something seemed off about the doctor, Zachary could feel it, even in his dizzy state. The doctor's words did not seem like ones that would come out of a professional one. Usually, they'd explain his situation a little bit clearer and shed some light on his condition from a medical aspect. Yet, this doctor seemed unprepared, like he hadn't expected a patient's awakening.
"Zach!"
There was a voice, someone, calling out his name, seemingly coming from the outside. It sounded familiar, however… too familiar for his own comfort. He knew who it was calling out to him, but he wished they weren't.
And then his suspicion was confirmed when she rushed in.
Right at the doorway stood the girl that he had once shared a promise with, that same girl that he had rejected, that same girl that had caused him to run away and find himself in this sorry situation. It was Lauren Cherith.
Zachary's eyes widened in shock. He could see her face now.
There were tears in her eyes as she smiled, it was clear she was happy that he was alive. "Zach! You're—"
But Zachary did not care.
He slowly turned his head to the other side, averting his gaze from Lauren's, and looked at the window — he didn't want to face her after everything that happened.
"Z-Zach…?!"
"Miss, I'll have to ask you to leave for now." Another nurse, different from the one that left, stepped in front of Lauren and attempted to push her out of the room.
"W-Wait, I know him. I'm the one that's been here—"
"The patient's not ready for visits at the moment."
With that, Lauren was forced out of the room and was gone.
Yet everything still felt like it was in disarray. Zachary could hear noise from the people around him. Everyone was rushing to do whatever task they were required to do. It was as if his awakening had caused a great commotion. Why were there so many nurses coming in and out of the room?
"I'm sure you're quite confused, Mr. Ashworth," said the doctor.
There was only one thing on Zachary's mind at the moment.
"How…," he let out a grunt as he turned back, "How long have I been… how long have I been out?"
The doctor turned aside and let out a deep sigh, "One uh… It's been one day since the accident."
"Wha…" Zachary would almost laugh if he could.
There was no way he would have woken a day right after the accident had happened, especially with the injuries he would have sustained. A person involved in an accident like this would regain their consciousness, at the least, one or two weeks after.
「Just what the hell is going on with me?」
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It was no lie, just a pure stroke of a miracle.
According to what the doctor who oversaw Zachary's condition said, he had been in a truck accident with another individual that tried to save his life. However, the medical examination revealed that he mainly sustained major injuries in his legs, and that might be partially due to the guy who pushed him. Most of the bones in his legs were fractured, the doctors refused to elaborate further on whether he could walk again or not, but he already knew the answer.
What baffled the doctors, and frankly, everyone else was the fact that he had woken up no less than twenty-four hours after the accident, while the other guy who was with him had fallen into a coma. No one simply just wakes up from an accident the following day like they'd wake up from a good night's sleep.
This didn't grab a reaction from Zachary though.
There was something else in his mind that he kept thinking about that bothered him greatly. It wasn't a question about why he was still alive, or if he was contemplating the reality that he might be stuck in a wheelchair from now on.
「Why can I listen?」
For many years, he had been able to "shun" people he desired nothing from. If they were avoidable, they were just noise. He hated it as much as he favored it. It brought him into his own little world where he could listen to just himself. Naturally, everyone in the world became "noise" to him, their words were incoherent, and their faces were unclear. Only a noticeable few were free of that, like Lauren, who broke through his shell once.
But now… there were no longer particular individuals he could listen to, he could listen to everyone. The noise was entirely gone, and he couldn't revert it back. He was able to even listen to Lauren, the last one he had shunned out.
「Lauren…」
She was probably still outside, worried about him.
When he asked the nurse who was out waiting for him, he found out his family was nowhere to be found, despite them immediately covering the bills for his treatment. Lauren was most likely the only one that came for him. Only she was waiting for him, only she truly cared for him, yet he still did not want to meet her. He didn't want to see her, especially now that he could no longer hear the noise.
At that moment, he heard the door open. There was a hand slipping in from the outside and then proceeded to knock on the door. A second later, someone leaned their head in to take a look. He knew who it was.
It was Lauren.
"S-Sorry, if this isn't the right time," she stepped inside with an apologetic smile on her face before closing the door behind her.
One look at her and Zachary could tell how worried she was about him. Her face was not in the best shape, she looked like she was suffering from a little bit of fatigue, even her previously sparkling eyes seemed to be desperate for sleep.
But he didn't care and so, he looked away.
She stayed in her place, keeping quite the distance between him and her, "I uh… I'm… glad to see you're fine," her voice and words carried a tinge of sympathy, "A-At least you seem to…"
"Yeah, I'm fine alright…," he scoffed, "For a guy who can't feel his legs."
「Just leave me be.」
He didn't particularly hold her at fault for what happened to him. But it was hard for him to look at her, to stay with her, to talk with her. There was no meaning to their interactions now. Her presence would only hurt him, and his offensive attitude would only hurt her.
"Listen um…," she struggled to find the words, "They… they called me… yesterday after I left. The… the contest committee and—"
"I don't wanna talk about it. I don't wanna talk about anything, just get out of here!" He turned and almost snapped at her.
Lauren's smile was long gone, and in its stead, was pure shock and sorrow. Any moment now and tears might drop from her eyes. That was exactly the kind of thing Zachary wanted to avoid, but then again, when did anything ever work his way?
"No," she wasn't going to give up, "You gotta listen to—"
"Zachary Ashworrrrrth!!!"
A voice screamed from the outside, stunning both Zachary and Lauren at the same time and putting their conversation at an indefinite stop. Lauren soon turned from sorrow to confusion on who was calling out to him in that manner. However, Zachary knew who it was. It had been long since he had heard it, but he knew that voice very well.
Not a second later, and the owner of that voice burst into the room with madness. Sure enough, the one standing at the doorway with pure rage in her eyes was none other than his mother.
「Of all people…」
It was clear from her appearance that it had been a long time since she stepped out of the mansion. Even after seeing her son in his current condition, her eyes were still seething with hatred. Her hair was in a dire state as if it hadn't been touched in years. Some parts of her clothes were either torn or unclean. If one didn't know any better, she would pass for a homeless person. Zachary wished he could look at her in disgust, but at the end of it all, this person was still his mother.
Without any need for introductions, she rushed in at him as Lauren backed away from her path in surprise.
"You insolent little…," she grit her teeth and spoke with anger, "Even after all what happened, you still didn't learn and went along with your pathetic plans, and look where it got you. Do you even understand what happened to you?"
She threw her wrath onto him despite him already knowing the consequence of his actions, he was living in it. But she just had to rub salt on the wound, otherwise, it wouldn't be his dear mother.
"I've done everything to keep you safe—"
"I KNOW!!!" Zachary snapped, "I know… I know what I did, I know everything you want to say to me so why don't you go back home instead of rubbing it—"
*SLAP*
"Don't. Ever. Talk. Back. To me." She enunciated every word.
When he realized what had happened, he was in shock.
His mother had slapped him in the face.
Without any hesitation, she simply just slapped him. And her face was still full of anger as if she hadn't done anything yet. Yes, this was his mother, the same mother that was terrifyingly overprotective of him, the same mother that was barely tolerable in his eyes anymore, and the same mother that had gone lost in her mind. But never, in her life, did she ever lay a hand on him up until now.
「Wha…?!」
Zachary felt lost. It was as if that slap had kicked him thousand times harder than it ever could have done into oblivion. He placed his hand on his cheek but then shivered back, he could feel his cheek burning, he could feel it pulsating from any slight touch.
"Hey, what do you think you're doing?!" Lauren could not bear to watch the scene without interfering anymore, she grabbed onto his mother's arm and pulled her in her direction, "That's your son you just hit right now! You know that?"
"How I treat my child is none of your business!" His mother snapped back at her, "And who in the world are you?!"
"I'm his friend!" Lauren was as equally angry as her.
"Oh ho ho," his mother laughed, "So you're the little witch that got him into this mess?"
「Oh no…」
The way they were talking to one another was not reassuring at all. It won't be long till that argument would spiral out of control and someone would end up hurt.
Zachary didn't want that.
But he couldn't do anything about it, he still wasn't out of the shock from the slap. All he could do was hold his hands against his ears and slid back under the pillow. There was no noise he could hide behind anymore, he could hear and see everything he didn't want, so this was his only option in his eyes.
And then came in the saving grace.
Their argument had caused a commotion that the hospital staff had taken notice of. So naturally, a few nurses and his doctor stepped in to take both Lauren and his mother out of the room, as it was clearly affecting him.
Lauren easily complied but things weren't as easy with his mother.
"Ma'am, can you please step outside?" The doctor tried being polite.
"Get your hands off me!" Zachary's mother pushed the doctor aside, "You can't keep me away from my son!"
「Just get out…」
"Ma'am, you being here like this is affecting your son's mental state," said the doctor, "If you continue this, his mental condition will worsen."
"Mental what?! Huh?!!"
「Just get out…」
"Ma'am, can you please step… outside?" The doctor's patience was running thin, "Or we will force you out."
「Just get out…」
「Just get out…」
「Just get out…」
「Just get out…」
Before Zachary had realized, there was no one in the room.
He could still hear his mother shouting outside in the hallway, and with each shout, her voice got farther and farther. They were finally dragging her away.
It was only then that he felt relief seep back into his body.
「Don't come back…」
Despite his thoughts saying otherwise, he wished she would come back. He knew that her behavior was the result of what happened to them. He knew that she had been suffering from within. He knew that in spite of her mad actions, she loved him. That was why he couldn't hate her.
She was still his mother.
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