章 14: Needs More Time
With a satisfied sigh, I plopped myself down on the edge of my bed, toweling off my still damp hair. I missed my bathtub and its warm relaxing waters. I missed the scent of the lavender soap that wafted the air and sank into my skin. I missed being clean. With the itch dirt no longer invading my body, I felt like I could take on another battle. I wanted to conquer another Mercenary camp and take on the evils of the world. Of course, I knew this feeling was temporary and that as soon as the feeling wore off, I was going to become dead weight again. I might as well take advantage of this feeling while I still had energy and get some work done. I could only imagine how much work had piled up in my absence.
I rose from the edge of my bed and headed towards my desk. A neat pile of papers were stacked on the corner. With a gasp of disbelief, I realized how big it truly was. It was almost as tall as the lamp that sat in the middle of the desk. I wasn't even really gone that long. Was this really what I went through on a daily basis? What could have possibly happened in my absence that warranted this much work to do? At this rate I would be here for several days reading through all these documents. Or was my father punishing me by dumping his share of work on me as well? That old man really was being petty if that was the case. I had human necessities too. How was I suppose to 'hold my end of the deal' if he was going to keep me holed up until the day I died?
"Alliah, you should really be resting right now. Work can wait until you sleep." I felt to hands rest on my shoulders as Nicklos spoke. I jumped in surprise, having completely forgot he was sitting in my room. Where was he just a few moments ago? Wouldn't I have seen him lounging around upon exiting the bathroom. I turned to face him, but immediately regretted it. My sharp words vanished as soon as I came face to his bare chest. My heart pounded heavily in my ears, and I couldn't form any coherent thoughts as I scanned over his bare skin, taking in how toned his chest and abdomen had become over the years I hadn't seen him. It wasn't the first time I had ever seen him shirtless, but we where just stupid kids then. Now we where grown adults, and adults who could hold impure thoughts.
"Why…are you…l-like this?" I stammered, pulling my gaze away from his exposed skin. This was no way to act in front of a lady. Let alone a royal lady. What was with him? Why was he being so indecent?
"Ah sorry, I just came back from the bath house. I forgot to bring a spare shirt with me and had intended on being changed before you got out, but you beat me. I would have taken your distracted mind as an advantage to change, but you looked like you where about to sit down and start working." He said sheepishly. I could feel my face turning red as I fought all of the evil thoughts that entered my mind. This idiot was really trying my patience with his innocent attitude. What was father thinking when he said he had to sleep in my room with me? Did they at least bring the spare cot I had requested? Knowing my father once he had heard about the request, he would have stopped it immediately. I would have to have a few good words with him in the morning about how improper this all was. I was too tired to fight with the old bear tonight and I didn't want to get him even more angry with me.
"Fine, just put a shirt on already. You are making me uncomfortable." A deep chuckle came from his chest. I heard that laugh enough times to know that he was up to know good. It sent a shiver down my spine and caused my skin to prickle in response. What was he planning? A warm hand wrapped around my wrist, carefully lifting it until the palm of my hand was resting on his bare chest. My head whipped up to look at him, stunned that he would even grab me like this. Don't get me wrong, I had been courting him for a while, but I hadn't seen him in six years. There was no way that we where that close to each other.
A cheeky grin played on his lips as he took in my reaction. Mischief danced in his eyes as he slowly leaned in close, our bodies almost touching. Heat radiated off the bare of his skin, causing me to flush as I struggled to find the words to tell him to stop. Of course, my desires where over running my instincts. Mix that with fatigue and my guard was completely down. What was he trying to do to me? I could feel my heart beat race faster and faster with every inch he grew closer.
"I have really missed you Alliah. Not just from you being absent the last three days, but you being absent from my life for the past six years. So many times, I wanted to abandon my duties and come back to you. My life has felt so empty without you." He whispered into my ear. I could feel my body tremble with his soft words, wanting him to do nothing more than caress me, hold me close to him. But a small itty bity part of me still had some common sense, and that was the part that was angry with him.
"You say that, but you still left me hanging for an entire year. Why don't you explain that to me before I decide to forgive you." I said darkly. He stood still, frozen with his body practically pressed against mine. Hurry up and answer me before I do something indecent! I maybe a Royal Palace woman, but I have my own desires too! I gritted my teeth as he let out a small laugh, the air tickling my ear and furthering the goose bumps that formed up and down my body.
"Now is not the time Alliah. You are tired and you must rest. Which means you will be leaving the paper work alone for now." He said pulling away from my body. With him putting distance between us, my heart rate slowed, and I was finally able to regain some clarity. He was avoiding the topic once again, and it was infuriating. I just wanted him to come clean and get it over with already. Why did he have such a hard time telling me why he went AWOL?
"Was it another woman? Did you bed her and feel guilty? If that's what it is just tell me. I can't hold those things against you because you are a Prince. You are obligated to spend your night with any woman you see fit." I said leaning against the desk. That added distance between us let my confidence return as I tried to provoke him, hoping he would give in and just tell me the truth. Of course, I would be angry that he spent the night with another woman, especially under my courtship. But we had been separated for six years, I couldn't really expect his childhood love for me to continue. After all, we really had just been good friends. The 'love' that had blossomed between us was more just familiarity between us.
"You really think so low of me that I would bed another woman?" Anger dripped from his words, almost a dark and dangerous edge creeping from his body. How could I explain what I meant without angering him further. After all, he was right. I was tired, and if I where to start an argument now, it wouldn't end on good terms. Why did he have to be so difficult.
"Why else would you continue to hide your absence? Nicklos, do you really expect me to believe that a childhood love would last this long on just letters alone? Can you honestly expect me to believe that after all these years have passed your father hasn't hounded you like my own to find a suitor. I wouldn't even be mad if you wanted to break off this courtship of ours." In truth I would be hurt, deeply since he was my closest friend. But I wouldn't tie him down to me if he did find another woman he would rather be with. I was different by every means, and even the court officials didn't even recognize me as a proper lady. It would be considered an embarrassment to be married to a woman warrior by royal and noble standards.
"My father has gotten on my case about it that's true, but a woman was not a reason for my absence Alliah. Never once had it ever crossed my mind that I would hold any other woman besides you. I don't care about the standards of society just as much as you don't." He said, still clutching my hand to his chest. I could feel his heart beating rapidly underneath my hand. I focused my attention to the warmth that spread across my hand and down my body, once again realizing that I was touching nothing but the skin of his bare chest. I wish he would put a shirt on already.
"Then why the sudden absence. You went from sending letters one day, to leaving me high and dry the next. A whole year has passed Nicklos. I want an answer." I pulled my hand away from his chest and hugged myself. I wouldn't cry in front of him again. I already showed weakness around him once. I hated the female part of me that showed so much emotion, it would probably be my undoing. The pained expression that crossed his face, told me that what had happened was something tragic. It wasn't something that he could willingly talk about. The grief that filled his golden eyes portrayed the horror that he had scene, and I felt bad for demanding an answer.
"It's not that I don't want to tell you Alliah, it's just that I can't. I haven't been able to recover from it yet. I just need more time. Can you do that for me?" The pain and sadness was my undoing. I could feel the tears gather in my eyes as I watched him, slumped slightly forward, his eyes cast to the ground. He was trying to avoid my gaze and hide his grief that invaded him. I guess he was much like me and didn't like showing weakness. That much we still had in common.
"Of course, Nicklos. I will wait as long as you need to. Just promise me until then, you won't shut me out completely. I promise to be as understanding as I can and won't push you any further." I said reaching down to grab his hand loosely in mine. His eyes slowly raised to meet mine and he gave a small smile. With a careful and calculated yank, he pulled me against him. Before I could protest of push against him, he wrapped his arms tightly around my waist, trapping me against him.
"Thank you Alliah. I appreciate this." He spoke quietly as he placed his forehead in the crook of my neck. With a small smile, I wrapped my arms around him, providing the comfort he did to me so long ago. I didn't know what he was going through at this exact moment, but I knew that he needed me to be there for him. I would be his shoulder just like he was mine when I was going through the Knight training. I could do at least that much for him.
I inhaled deeply, enjoying his lemon scented soap that lingered still on his body. The rock-hard muscles pressed against my chest and once again stirred the desire that I had been trying to fight not so long ago. I could only picture him sitting in the bath house, water up to his waist as he dragged the soap bar across his body. I swore I could feel the drool drip down from my mouth as my imagination ran wild. Didn't he say that he came here without a shirt?
"Did you walk all the way from the bath house to here without a shirt on?" I couldn't hide the anger that crept out from me. If he was shirtless all the way here, then that means every woman under the roof of the Palace could have possibly seen what was only mine to look at. He pulled away, a grin on his face as he stared down at me. He was clearly amused that I was angry with the thought of him being shirtless in front of other women.
"You seem displeased by this, almost like you are jealous after all. Here I thought you didn't care if I was with other women." I angrily pushed against him, his words only angering me further. How dare he get a rise out of me and enjoy it. "Relax Alliah, I promise you no other woman saw me. It's super late, so mostly everyone is in their rooms by now any way. I promise you this." The smile still remained on his face, but I stopped fighting him. Knowing that I looked foolish in front of him. His face seemed to change as his eyes slowly descended down my face and lingered on my lips. His beautiful and bright golden eyes slowly grew darker as he brought his face closer to mine. So close that his lips casually brushed against my own. I felt my breath catch in my throat, waiting expectantly for his lips to crush against mine just like they had a few days ago.
Like he was reading my thoughts, he closed the distance between our lips. I closed my eyes in response to his soft lips molding against mine. I could almost feel the soft moan escape from my mouth as he let go of my waist and brough his hand up to intertwine with my hair. His fingers grazed my scalp gently, causing my skin to set on fire. I desperately wanted to explore more of him, but fatigue was starting to over take me once more. I leaned against him, desperately trying to hold myself up. This was not how I wanted to enjoy my third kiss, but I wasn't complaining that I received one at all. He pulled away and my eyes flashed open, begging him not to stop. He let go of my hair and cupped his hand against my cheek. The rough callouses rubbing my growing sensitive skin.
"You need to sleep Alliah. Come, I will rest with you." I nodded my head slowly, knowing that he was right. I wouldn't be standing much longer any way. Without another word, he let me go, but only long enough to duck and wrap his arms around my back and knees. With a squeak I found myself pressed against his chest bridal style. I flushed with embarrassment as he walked me over to my bed and laid me down on the mattress. He kissed my forehead gently with his lips before laying down beside me. He tucked his arm around my waist and pressed his head into my shoulder.
I could feel my body hum with awareness despite my ever-growing fatigue. It was weird how I went to not talking to him at all, to having him sleep in my bed. I know we weren't kids any more, and this is how adults acted in these types of relationships, but it was still a foreign phenomenon to me. But I could grow use to having him at my side. It was almost comforting as it was weird that he laid beside me. I guess I would have to get use to it since I can only assume this is what my father wanted after all.
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