章 2: A Second Chance
To be honest, Ji RongXue could understand the original owner's feelings.
Loneliness was such a terrible thing that could make anyone desperate for even just a trace of warmth.
Although the original owner was born in a rich family and was loved and cared by everyone like a precious treasure, her parents were all busy people with their own works and various responsibilities to bear. They couldn't spend all their time to accompany her and was left with a nanny or her grandfather's place to be looked after. And due to her heart disease, she spent most of her childhood in the cold ward of a hospital with only the medical equipments and nurses to look after her.
For a small child, it was very important to have peers of her age to socialise with for her to grow up well. But her illness could never let her to fully become a part of the normal kids. She was weak since birth so she couldn't play normally like other children. She couldn't run, she couldn't speak too loudly nor could she eat normal food like others.
She had to learn to keep her emotions in check since small and couldn't do anything that could agitate her condition. Everything she did was balanced and measured to fit according to her physical condition.
The loneliness eating up her heart was too much for a child to bear. She was just a child yet she had to go through so much suffering since birth. Although she had it easy for being born a rich family's daughter, she was by no means happy about her condition.
She also wanted to go out and play with her friends. She wanted to run freely and laugh and shout without any constraint. She wanted to eat whatever food she liked and try all the desserts in the world. She wanted to make lots of friends that she could gossip with and fall in love with a person she could put her whole trust in.
She just wanted to be 'normal'. That's all.
It might just be a trivial matter for most people but it was a very important thing for the sick and lonely Ji RongXue who never had a chance to feel what it was like to be 'normal'. She dared to love and express her feelings but what she got in turn was a lonely death.
Ji RongXue covered her eyes with an arm and slowly exhaled.
In fact, she was also the same.
When the doomsday hadn't arrived yet, she was also the pride of her family, a proud daughter of the heaven. She was known as a prodigy with an eidetic memory and natural talent in music and learning.
Since small, she was taught about different subjects from the historical books to the mathematical problems. Her whole schedules were filled up with only learning and only had a small break time.
She wasn't against it. She was actually very much willing to follow the schedule. Since small, she was more mature than her peers so she had no interest in children's games and wasn't able to get along with other children her age. She always felt out-of-sorts when she was forced to be with them.
She was more interested in books, music and other things that were seen as too difficult for children. When other kids were still learning to read fairy tale books, she was already solving difficult mathematical problems. In the process of her growth, she had jumped many grades at school because she had already caught up with higher level knowledge.
With her talents, she was supposed to have a bright future ahead. Although she had no friends, at least she had her family who loved her dearly. But when the doomsday arrived, she lost everything she cherished and was proud of and fell to the most lowest point in life.
She watched as her family died to protect her. She watched as they turned into those same horrifying brainless and emotionless monsters that had killed them.
She ran and ran without looking back, traumatised by the scene she saw. She was scared, terrified, her heart filled with despair. She was still too young and couldn't get over it easily. While escaping, she hurt her throat and lost the voice she was most proud of. Although she could still speak, she could no longer sing her songs. It was the last straw that broke the camel's back.
On that black rainy night, she lost her everything. That incident became a deep scar that could never heal in her heart. She shed off her immaturity, her arrogance, her ignorance. At that time, she was just 16 years old, like the Ji RongXue from the book.
No words could describe her feelings at that time.
Even now, she still wasn't able to completely get over it. The countless nightmares that tortured her at night were the evidence.
Although their experiences and situations were different, and the Ji RongXue in the book was a bit foolish in her way of seeking a solace in her lonely life, they were very similar to some extent. So Ji RongXue could empathise with the original owner.
Maybe this was also the reason why she got transmigrated into her body.
The pain in her head finally receded and after sorting out her thoughts, she felt very calm.
Right now, there was still about a month left till the plot officially started. The incident where Ji RongXue was rejected by Mo JinChen had already happened.
It was at the end of the first semester of first year of senior high when Ji RongXue pestered Mo JinChen about spending the holidays together. But Mo JinChen didn't want to stay together with her so he ruthlessly rejected her and embarrassed her in front of the whole classroom.
His outburst was a bit too harsh and his face was full of impatience when he left her with only two sentences behind. "Can you stop already? You disgust me."
At that time, Ji RongXue had been rooted to her place when she heard his cold voice. Even after he was long gone, she still stood there blankly. The students around her were either sneering or whispering behind her back. Then without any warning, she fainted.
Maybe it was at that time that the original owner lost her life and when she woke up again, it was no longer the foolishly pitiful Ji RongXue who dared to boldly and fearlessly love someone even to the extent of losing her life in the process. It was instead the cold and fearless Ji RongXue who had survived in the end of the world and fought against monsters for a long time.
Since she had already taken the original owner's place, she won't let this second chance go to waste. Although the original owner's image of a lovestruck fool who could do anything for love in the eyes of others was a bit hard to cope with, it was better than constantly living on guard with no time to relax completely in her previous life.
She was never someone who cared about what others thought of her anyway.
"School...huh? It won't be too bad to relive those carefree days again." Ji RongXue murmured with a slight smile on her face. Then she closed her eyes.
"I cannot guarantee about anything else but I promise to live well in your place and cherish those who truly cherished you. So please rest in peace. Ji RongXue."
Her soft whisper was given no reply but a sense of relief suddenly washed away the heavy feeling in her heart. Maybe her sincerity had reached the original owner which let her set herself free from all the worries she had when she died.
Whatever the reason, Ji RongXue was a person who kept her word so she would definitely fulfil the original owner's wishes the best she can.
As long as it didn't affect her own principles, she was willing to bear her burdens and let her rest peacefully.
After her body relaxed, a wave of drowsiness swept over her. The exhaustion from her initial confusion and the process of receiving the original owner's memories truly wore down her now weak body. She didn't fight against it and let her consciousness drift into the dreamless night.
***
The next morning, Ji RongXue woke up early. She was at a loss for a few seconds until she remembered that she had transmigrated inside a book.
She still felt that it was a bit too surreal but she forced herself to get used to the facts in front of her.
She got out of her bed and went to the bathroom to wash up. When she looked into the mirror, a delicately beautiful face was reflected on it.
Her facial features were just starting to bloom like a flower bud. Her skin was smooth and fair, her peach blossom eyes were wide and cute, and her cherry lips were slightly pursed, forming a natural heart shape. Her facial features were top notch but the sickly pallor always covered it up.
Ji RongXue fell into a daze for a second. This face was almost 90% identical to her original face when she was 16. Just that the sickly pallor and the tear-drop red mole on her collarbone were different. She also had a red mole in her previous life but it was right under her left eye.
Now, she felt like it was truly a fate that she transmigrated as Ji RongXue in the book.
After washing herself up, she changed into warm layers of clothes to ward off the cold.
She'd never liked cold weather. The cold temperature always reminded her of her desperate times where she had to hide in a rundown place with no food and warmth. She had to survive purely with sheer willpower and leftover bread that she found while she was escaping, and the cold temperature made her unable to have a good sleep for several nights.
Ji RongXue glanced out of the window at the pure white snow covering the streets.
It was very rare to see snow after the doomsday arrived in her previous life.
Due to high radiation, the climate on earth was too unstable so it was very hot at daytime and chilling cold at nighttime. But the sky was forever a murky colour with no sign of the sun and the snow that rarely fell was mixed with harmful chemicals which made it dangerous for people.
There was no such leisure time to enjoy the snowfall like now. Looking at the snow-white landscape, Ji RongXue silently tightened her jacket and slowly looked away.
It was 6:35am. When she went downstairs for breakfast, others were already awake. Father Ji was sitting on a couch with a newspaper in his hands, mother Ji was setting up the dining table for breakfast, the chef was preparing the breakfast in the kitchen and her cheap second brother was playing with his phone in the living room.
There were still grandpa Ji and elder brother Ji missing. Grandpa Ji had gone to his friend's house to stay for a few days and elder brother Ji was in an important business trip. But they'd be here in the new year to have a reunion dinner so she would be able to see them soon.
Her steps were very light so nobody noticed her coming down until mother Ji turned around and saw her when she was halfway down. Her eyes lit up with affection.
"Rong'er, you are awake? Why didn't you rest a little longer? You have only just recovered from your cold." Mother Ji quickly walked to her side and gently held her hands, afraid that she would stumble on her steps.
Ji RongXue instinctively wanted to avoid her touch then realised that her old habit nearly came out. It would probably cause suspicion if she rejected intimacy from her own mother.
She quickly suppressed her impulse and let her hold her hands as she supported her to the living room like a fragile porcelain doll that could break from a careless movement.
Ji RongXue said: "It's fine, m-...mom. I slept very well last night so you don't have to worry."
It's been a long time since she spoke this intimate word so she couldn't help but stutter.
"How can I not worry? You, ah, are always jumping around without any care for your own health. And everytime you end up in the hospital which nearly scares your old mother to death!"
Mother Ji pretended to hit her but it was as light as a feather when it landed on her back.
Ji RongXue awkwardly lowered her head and softly said,"...Sorry, mom. I won't do that again. I will be more careful about my health and not let you worry about anything. It was me being unreasonable and childish."
Her voice was very low but it was heard loud and clear by everyone in the living room. Like a thunder in daylight, her soft apology struck everyone dumb.
Mother Ji's hands stiffened, father Ji snapped his head up from behind his newspaper and Ji RuanYu's mobile phone, that was still playing the game's BGM, slipped from his hand and fell on the soft floor mattress but he didn't notice it and stared at her blankly in shock. Even the servants at the side were dumbly staring at her as if they had seen a ghost in broad daylight.
Right now, everyone had the same thought in their mind.
The little devil, who'd rather die than bow down even if the god himself showed up, was actually apologising? And even with such a sincerely guilty expression on her usually wilful face?!
The suffocating silence ensued for what seemed like a century but only a few minutes had passed in reality. It was father Ji who first came back to his senses
Father Ji was embarrassed to find himself in a daze so he covered it up with a fake cough. He then smiled and broke the silence.
"Rong'er is the most sensible child. How can you say that my little princess is jumping around all day mindlessly? She is still young and being energetic is good. Children only grow up like this so what's so wrong with her being wilful once in a while?"
As he calmly chided his wife, he set down the newspaper on the coffee table and got up to walk to his daughter's side. She still had her head lowered guiltily which made her look very pitiful and adorable.
He was always very indulgent and soft to his only daughter, and today was still the same. He couldn't bear to see her in grief so he gently took her in his arms and lovingly patted her head in comfort.
"Don't worry, Rong'er. You are my, Ji HuaiYuan's daughter. You can be as wilful as you want and I will see if anyone dares to say anything to you. But you should also be more careful of your own safety and not go overboard while playing. I don't care about others but to me, your health is the most important. Okay, dear?"
Ji RongXue quietly listened to his gentle voice and her stiff body that was held in his warm embrace slowly relaxed. She suddenly felt her eyes sting and her nose sour as she buried her face deeper in his arms and nodded with a muffled,"En."
In this world, the only ones who truly loved and cared about the original Ji RongXue was probably her family. They spoiled and indulged her in everything not just because of their guilt for her poor health but also because they truly loved her deeply.
They were her closest kins and people whom she could completely place her trust in without any fear of betrayal.
This feeling of warmth and affection felt very distant to Ji RongXue. But she didn't hate it. Actually, she really missed it and yearned for it day and night. Now that she was given a second chance to experience it again, she would definitely cherish it properly.
She will protect this warmth at all cost.
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