章 20: Justifications
I will never understand people who try to justify their murders.
"I did it for love, I kill for art, I murdered for justice" you know, those type of lines. At the end of the day, it's all just excuses.
The reason you kill is because you can. Because you're succumbing to your innate most basic animal instinct. To hunt, to stalk, and to destroy.
Millions of years of killing for survival doesn't just disappear with the turn of a generation and the insertion of laws and morals. Instincts can be regulated but they never truly fade away.
Of course, I understand why people make excuses, not everyone can confront the carnal beast within them. Not everyone can admit that they enjoyed taking someone's life in the same way sportsmen can say they enjoy their sport.
Excuses and justifications act as a barrier to protect their fragile mental state. To allow them to commit the cruellest of deeds and still feel some peace of mind. Justifications are for the weak.
Min Ho was weak. He was the type that needed a justification for his actions. His justification for anything bad he did was "Karma". When he laughed at the sight of Yong Myeong sprawled at the bottom of the staircase, he justified it by seeing it as Karma. What goes around comes around.
In that way, he could disguise his glee at Yong Myeong's suffering as something righteous. I instantly recognized that trait within him and made plans to manipulate him using it.
All I needed to do was convince Min Ho that every action he committed was an act of Karma.
I would determine for him what was karmic justice, and he would serve my determinations, and hence serve me.
There were certain steps I had to take to do this.
Firstly, I re-established his sense of morality. I made him believe that I was 'good' and that everything and everyone against me was 'bad'. That way those who did me wrong would deserve Karma, and hence it would give Min Ho an excuse to do bad things to them.
Re-establishing someone's sense of morality is the easy part, you just need to assert your presence in their head as a symbol of 'good'.
All I had to do was appear to Min Ho as a positive; someone kind, strong, responsible and most of all right.
The more I appeared to be a positive, a 'symbol of good' to Min Ho, the more his moral compass would shift to my will, and eventually, I would become his 'good'.
I didn't only do that to Min Ho but to everyone at the Kang Estate. Greeting the workers every day wasn't only to establish my popularity but it was to mark me as a "good and nice boy". With this image in peoples heads I became the "moral good that could do no wrong" and hence when I actually did do wrong, they would overlook it, because their brains weren't able to easily accept the idea of their "moral good" doing anything bad.
Let me explain this in simpler terms, think of popular killers like Ted Bundy. If it wasn't for the victims that escaped he might have gotten away with more murders, and not because he was particularly good at covering up his crimes, but because "he was a charming and handsome and a charismatic young man."
Nobody suspected, or rather they didn't want to suspect him because he became their "moral good" and they couldn't even fathom him doing anything wrong.
It was the same for me in my youth. I must admit in my last life as Daniel Slade when I first started my killings, I was sloppy. I made obvious mistakes and left blatant evidence. But I got away with it, not only because of luck, but also because I was "the moral good". A young nice Priest. A man of the cloth.
Even when I left the church I still wore the collar. I always kept a smile, was warm, sociable and kind.
Nobody suspects the wolf when it blends in with the sheep.
It didn't take much for me to assert myself as good in Min Ho's eyes. I was already an 'innocent child, a victim of abuse, and someone from a working-class background due to my mother'', all things that Min Ho associated with good people.
When I greeted the workers and did good deeds and agreed with all the dumb things Min Ho said, I became a 'good person' to him.
But I still wasn't his moral compass, and to do that I needed to take the second step. I needed to push him to a point where he saw me as his saviour, his grace, and his hope.
"Your second birthday is coming up Ho, what do you want?" Kang Seung asked me as he bounced me on his knee.
Since Yong Myeong had taken a tumble down the stairs, a year had passed. Not much had changed in my day to day activities but my security had definitely heightened. Being the only viable heir to the Nam faction caused all the focus of the faction to shift towards me. While Min Ho had become my personal butler I also had three additional maids, Hee Jae, Kim Sung, and Bae Nana.
I was constantly monitored, pampered, and played with; the slow and torturous life of a toddler.
Initially many in the Nam faction had been against me being named an heir due to the lack of my legitimacy, but soon enough they had no other choice but to accept it. Firstly, Kang Seung was overbearing, I don't know what he did or said but he had most of the group singing to his tune and kissing up to me within days. Secondly, I was a bright and intelligent child. I passed every test that they could throw at me from arithmetic to literature. I easily passed tests that were beyond my age group. Thirdly, I had picked the white cloth during my Doljabi, marking me as special. It gave the Faction no choice but to accept me.
It also brought unwanted attention to me. Scientists specialising in Child development came to see me, and I became the core of a thesis on 'genius babies'. They found out I had an IQ of over 200 and I was easily named a child prodigy. There were even several articles written, calling me "The once in a millennia genius."
I received so much attention from the media and the press that Kang Seung even took me with him to events. Carrying me around and introducing me to over prominent rich businessmen who were curious about me.
Of course, in reality, the tests were easy for me because I didn't have the mind of a child and...well I'd always been a genius. I was always fast on my feet and a quick learner. Perhaps it was because I viewed the world differently.
Contrary to popular opinion, someone who has sociopathic or psychopathic tendencies isn't naturally a genius. Being cold and rational doesn't mean you're intelligent, but I was an intelligent individual and I always took pride in being smarter than everyone else in the room.
As much as I liked to show off my intelligence, I hated the attention. There wasn't room to breathe under all the scrutiny.
To make matters worse, ever since I saw Yong Myeong's bleeding and broken body I had felt that itch again. It came over me at random times and caused my whole body to twitch. I just wanted to kill someone so badly.
This was why I needed to push Min Ho, to make him my loyal slave who would act as my hands and feet to do my bidding.
He was almost ready, but he still needed a push, he needed something to chain him to me.
At that moment I thought of an idea.
I smiled up at Kang Seung, "Grandpa, I know what I want for my birthday."
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