章 281: Chapter 274: Early Valentine
One second, I got distracted for a fucking second….
When it was lunchtime, Su Ji called me for a moment with the excuse that there was a problem with my documents and that it was necessary to see the institute's director.
That was a lie to have a moment of privacy since the beautiful teacher is a naughty woman who has no problem having sex with her student in the music room… I'm not complaining.
The real problem was that I made a stupid mistake, I trusted Nyaruko not to cause trouble. Worse yet, Navi was with that idiot…
[Paranoia] didn't warn me there was a problem since what happened is supposed to be good for me, but the damn headache won't stop...
"Explain what happened in less than 300 words" – I massaged my forehead in a futile effort to reduce my migraine.
It's already time for class, but I used the excuse of having an emergency so I went out with Nyaruko for a moment and we are currently in an empty classroom.
I covered the room with [Anti-Rasen] and Abby put up several space barriers so no one would notice even if I beat Nyaruko and Navi to make them beg for mercy…
Nyaruko was kneeling on the ground. Her expression was a mixture of fear and anxiety.
Next to this Outer God idiot was an unknown pink-haired woman who seemed to be on the verge of tears.
"W-Well…" - Nyaruko stuttered and then pointed at the distraught woman. – "It was her and Navi's fault! I'm innocent!"
"Hey Listen! Fuck you idiot, you loved my wonderful and splendid idea brimming with intellect! Now all the bitches will belong to the Harem King! The Emperor can go to hell! Muahahahahaha!" – The damn idiot is still laughing despite being under my foot.
[System Notification: The skill 'Sadism' has been activated]
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! You fucking bastard bitch! You are an ungrateful bitch and that is why your mother will rape you like the bitch you are!"
…
[System Notification: The skill 'Paranoia' asks if it should make the skill 'Masochism' increase the power of the skill 'Sadism']
"Ahem, as I said, you're not an ungrateful bitch, you're the best partner that the great me can have... We've had bad times but we're always together, come on idiot dog, don't be a tsundere and smile" - Navi spoke with joy despite being scared.
…
I sighed and looked at the unknown girl. – "What did this pair of idiots do?"
The girl couldn't hold back her tears anymore and hugged my leg. – "Waaaa this pair of villains stole the chocolate I prepared! Then they chased me and threatened me to use my cupid skills to produce various chocolates! They said they would turn me into a magic chocolate factory and I have no right to complain because chocolate factories don't cry!"
… I looked at Nyaruko. - "Seriously?"
"It's not my fault" – Nyaruko pouted. – "You spent most of the lunchtime with the red-haired teacher so I got bored"
"Can't you have self-control for just 20 minutes? Are you five years old?" – My mouth trembled.
"Time is relative" – Nyaruko shrugged.
"Hey Listen! If we combine the magic of the chocolate factory with the taste of your food then you can subdue all the waifus in this world! Lolis, milfs, nekomimis, onee-sans, nothing will escape your hands muhahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!" – Navi forgot it's under my foot so I used [Sadism] again. – "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!......... Hey Listen! I have no regrets, bitch!"
"I don't understand why you get angry, this is technically a good thing for you" - Nyaruko smiled with complicity. – "Come on, this will be fun~"
"I'll be in trouble if anyone knows about this!" – The girl looked at me pitifully as if she were an abandoned puppy.
"Hey Listen! Nothing is free! Offer your ass to my partner and he will help you!" – Navi is the best example of how using violence is not always useful to teach a lesson.
I sighed internally, this is a headache.
Nyaruko saw that I am losing my patience so she finally explained the situation.
The woman is called Mei Tata, a heroine and plot engine of the story 'Cupid's Chocolates'.
According to Nyaruko and 'Paranoia', it is a Chinese animated series that narrates a harem romantic comedy where the protagonist is related to various beautiful and famous women due to a magic drug in the form of a chocolate cake.
Just hearing that made me feel disgusted as there is no difference with the use of aphrodisiacs and hypnosis. Getting involved with that plot is already off-putting to me, but Navi and Nyaruko took stupidity to the next level.
While I was enjoying the body of the beautiful teacher, Nyaruko felt the presence of Mei Tata and recognized her from the series Cupid's Chocolates.
At that moment she called Navi and together they made a shitty plan.
Nyaruko kidnapped Mei Tata and threatened to destroy her invisibility skills, strip her naked, and parade her through the halls of the institute.
Nyaruko did not show herself to be an Outer God, but she used skills related to intimidation to which Mei Tata gave in out of fear of dying.
Mei Tata is a cupid. The cupids are not related to the Western Heaven and are a group outside the mythological pantheons that work throughout the world as messengers of love.
Cupids receive special treatment from Alaya as they help promote love and reproductive acts between humans, which ensures the development of the human race.
Although there are various beings that can alter the sexual and reproductive desires of humans, only cupids can generate feelings of sincere love.
The 'love chocolates' are a high-level magical artifact that manipulates emotions. In the beginning, love is something artificial and can be broken with external means such as mental resistance skills or great willpower, but over time those feelings will become reality so they can no longer be broken unless mental reprogramming is done.
Alaya allows this shit since humans born of 'sincere love' are less likely to become assholes that harm society. Assholes are more likely to arise in families without love, I am an example.
'Cupid' is not really a race but a title. Angels, demons, gods, or other beings can become cupids, though there are many very strict rules for becoming a cupid, for example, cupids are prohibited from engaging in acts of violence except for self-defense.
So far I haven't come across a cupid as they are not well received in Japan as there seems to be a conflict between the gods of fortune and the cupids. That's another of the many reasons for Japan's declining birthrate.
To all this, there is a problem.
Another rule is that cupids cannot have sexual or affective relationships with humans and that is why many beings decide not to become cupids despite the fact that it means Alaya's protection.
Considering Mei Tata is a heroine I can already see that this is going to be a headache since Nyaruko and Navi's actions caused my plot armor to absorb Cupid's Chocolates plot armor.
[System Notification: 'Paranoia' skill nods compassionately]
[System Notification: 'Paranoia' skill nods compassionately]
… Shit.
In short, Mei Tata has the power to foster affective feelings between humans, but here the problem begins.
Navi stole an experimental medicine from the System Goddess workshop and mixed it with the chocolates to make them effective on non-human women.
As if that wasn't enough, the asshole added a sample of my blood that was in Shiguma's lab to ensure that the chocolates generate obsessive love for me.
In short, at least half of this school is about to fall head over heels for me for no reason...
I put my hand to my face. – "You two imbeciles…"
"Senpai, I know you hate #Saimin, but look on the bright side…" – BB was holding back laughter inside my mind. – "Now you will be able to capture most of the heroines with ease to close this arc and the readers will stop complaining about how annoying the cultivators are~"
…
Whatever.
I still think mind control is bullshit used by pathetic assholes who are incapable of satisfying a woman sexually or emotionally, but I don't care anymore.
Anyway, the women of this country are too submissive towards urban cultivation plot armor and currently what I have the most to spare is plot armor.
Anyway, this would happen sooner or later as the damn readers continue to pressure the author knowing that the author is a ballsless asshole who lacks the self-esteem necessary to deny requests.
Fuck you author.
Anyway, [Paranoia], what is the magnitude of this problem?
[System Notification: The skill 'Paranoia' has made a rough assessment of the future scenarios:
20% The women of the institute will chase the user for an orgy and there will be a happy ending.
75% Several women will develop a yandere side so they will try to kill the other women which will start a murder game. The game will go viral and will be the beginning of an entertainment method for sadistic tycoons who will enjoy gambling while watching schoolgirls murder each other.
98% Most women will just increase numbers and be irrelevant to the plot.
100% At least three women will be the trigger for a problem that will harm the political, economic, and supernatural stability of the entire country.
70% Same as above, but the damage will be global.
100% Many protagonists will feel hostility towards the user as the user will steal heroines from multiple stories.
70% Most of the protagonists will just be snacks for Onee-sama…. Ahem, Ortro.
5% One or more protagonists will be a headache for the user. The situation cannot be correctly evaluated due to the intervention of a Higher Entity. It has been detected that the Higher Entity is native to Gaia, so it is recommended to investigate the situation before assassinating the protagonists.
50% The user will have to kill more than half of the women due to various situations. The percentage chance will increase if the user rejects the artificial feelings of women. The percentage chance will decrease if the user accepts the artificial feelings of women]
"Wow, Ortro-chan's little sister is a good skill, at this rate Paranoia-chan will be senpai's new number one~" – BB spoke mockingly, but her look is not a good thing.
[System Notification: The skill 'Paranoia' raises its hands in a panic and says that it only wants to help the user without seeking preferential treatment]
"Good girl~" – BB regained her calm.
An Outer God intimidating the skill of a mentally challenged idiot… How surreal.
"Gogh also wants to help…" – Gogh seemed sad that she wasn't more helpful.
Among the voices in my head, Gogh is the least involved entity as she can only paint and draw all day, but that's not her fault, everything she does leads to Distortion Madness so I keep her away from any job.
Once she tried to make a cookie. I was only able to prevent a disaster thanks to the help of Abby and Granzeboma. To think that flour and chocolate would become a cosmic-scale antimatter bomb…
In fact, currently, the Ancient Ones and Outer Gods in my group are starting to experiment with mixing their paths of Madness with the two spiral energies to become stronger while helping me strengthen my power with the help of my [Crazy Psychiatrist] title. I am the clear definition that a man becomes strong when he has a loving family behind him.
Abby and Chiyo are compatible with the [Anti-Rasen].
Ortro, Kuuko and Haachama are compatible with the [Rasen].
BB and Nyaruko are capable of using both energies.
Only Gogh is forbidden to use any type of spiral power. If she becomes even slightly stronger, then the Madness suppressors in her mind could break which would return her to her brainless apocalyptic beast state.
"My migraine decreases having you near me" - I spoke softly and lovingly towards Gogh. – "Your drawings help me a lot, I really like what you draw, thanks for being with me"
"Ehehehehe" – Gogh smiled innocently and continued drawing.
One moment…
She is not drawing in the notebook I gave her...
Are those the pages of the Necronomicon?
"Don't worry senpai" - BB smiled. – "We already analyzed them and they are actually an excellent material to store the Madness of Distortion without leaking energy, so using them as a canvas is more useful than the Anti-Rasen notebook"
In my encounter with Aotian, the Necronomicon pages helped me choke up my wife's throat to prevent her from activating her skills out loud.
We analyzed the Necronomicon to see if it was a sentient artifact since that movement was automatic, but what we found is that the Necronomicon is an artifact without conscience that responds on autopilot to protect its owner. It is somewhat similar to the air bag in a car.
Nyaruko was the creator of that artifact, but she didn't give it much importance so I put it away until I forgot about its existence.
I thought I'd use it on my plague doctor identity to look flashier, but it doesn't matter as long as Gogh is happy.
Now back to the recent problem…
I patted the head of Mei Tata who was still crying.
Although BB is the cruelest and most sadistic woman in my group, Nyaruko also has a cruel side that makes her enjoy bullying weaker people, especially the ones she calls 'waifus moe'.
Nyaruko is currently the Harem King so it looks like the scene where a jerk enjoys bullying a helpless girl.
I sighed. – "Calm down, this idiot was only joking"
"No, I actually thought I would" – Nyaruko smiled shamelessly. - "What will you do? Are you going to hit me? Come on, I'm not afraid of you~"
I hugged Mei Tata to make her feel calmer, then protected her body with [Anti-Rasen]. – "A week without internet"
"...................." – Nyaruko paled. – "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Fortunately, Abby fortified this room with multiple spatial barriers or that scream would have destroyed all of China.
I stroked Mei Tata's head while my eardrums finished regenerating. – "You will also be a week without dessert"
"..................................................................... ..........................." – Nyaruko fainted.
"Navi, that goes for you too" – I kept taking care of Mei Tata.
She is cute like a defenseless little animal…. I really want a pet.
"Hey Listen! Listen to me, you son of a bitch! You can step on me, hit me, cut me, stab me, shoot me, burn me, drown me, electrocute me, torture me, make me watch K-pop boy band videos, but never, never, never dare deny me my fucking dessert! ! If you don't give me my strawberry ice cream with chocolate chips and walnut pieces then I'm going to spread your pictures of you fucking lolis all over the multiverse! If I fall then you come with me! Tenno Heika Banzai muhahahahahahahahaha!" – Despite everything, Navi continued to shout with joy.
kamikaze imbecile...
[System Notification: The Skill 'Paranoia' says that Navi is capable of doing it]
Shit!
"Well, then choose" - I sighed with annoyance. – "A week without burgers or without ice cream, if you refuse to choose then I will take both away from you even if I have to suffer the shit of being seen as a pedophile throughout the multiverse"
"......" – Navi stopped laughing. - "I hate you"
"I hate you too" - I smiled slightly.
"You two are like children" – Tsubaki sighed.
"Okay, my little brother is cute when he fights with his friend" – Chiyo smiled tenderly.
"We are not friends!" – The idiot and I shouted at the same time.
"Tsunderes" – Kuuko snorted contemptuously.
Stupid forced comedy.
Author, I hope you get hit by a truck...
(Author's Note: Shortly after writing this I was hit by a car, life is tragic)
Heh, idiot.
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Author's Note:
Car accidents, avoiding gunshots, exams, earthquakes that affected my post-traumatic stress, university projects, problems with teachers and some classmates, and to top it off, food keeps going up in price… This month has been exhausting.
I'm sorry I wasn't as active, but I really felt very tired.
On the other hand, I have had trouble concentrating because my mind is elsewhere for various reasons, for example, leaving the house causes me more and more anxiety, especially because a few days ago I saw a car accident that left me terrified, I had nightmares from seeing human blood staining the ground… Fortunately, I was a bit far away so I only saw the scene, but it was still traumatic.
It may not seem like it from the things I write, but it scares me to see people hurt.
Important reminder: If you drink, don't drive or you may traumatize cowardly authors like me.
Finally, a big thank you for your support of this novel.
Knowing that you, readers, enjoy my work helps me stay motivated, you are the biggest reason I can keep writing.
I love you <3
クリエイターの想い 
Bukaro
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