章 15: Temptations. Lust. Explore.
"I'll end up fucking you… hard. That's the answer, silly."
I thought about his words last night, puzzled by what he truly meant.
After Samael dropped those words, he broke the foreign atmosphere building up between us and told me he would take a walk and come back later.
He left without looking back and I hoped he wouldn't return.
And he actually didn't!
At first, it relieved me because I could rest peacefully without him around. I hadn't slept for a whole day and my body craved rest.
However, even without him around, I wasn't able to sleep properly. In the end, I spent another night contemplating my life. Now that it was time for work again, I just couldn't concentrate.
When Samael, the Duke, came into my life, I felt like I had to constantly look over my shoulders. Not to mention, he introduced these foreign emotions that I had never experienced before. Also, speaking vulgar words that I've heard in the past.
"Fuck me hard?" I murmured, tilting my head to the side as I recalled his words.
Didn't he already fucked my life that night? Does he mean he would make it even worse than it already was?
From my limited knowledge, that term was a swear word I'd often heard. But, even though I knew it was a swear word, how did he make it sound… so pleasant?
"Oh, Lilou! What have you been mumbling?"
As I was deep in my thoughts, Old Olly snapped me back to the current lapse.
I blinked my eyes, shaking my head lightly as I turned my head to Old Olly's figure. There, she was approaching us while the children were busy doing the simple activity I learned from Banse, the main town of Grimsbanne.
As usual, Old Olly was bearing a grin that made it hard to see her eyes. As she got closer, she beamed me another bright smile and darted her gaze from the children to me.
"Are you alright, Lil?" she asked, a bright smile still on her face.
"Yes, Olly. I'm just…" I paused, hesitant to confide in her.
"Just…?" asked old Olly, tilting her head to the side.
"Ahem!" I cleared my throat, standing up from the log I used as a bench. With an awkward smile, I raised my brows and cast old Olly a knowing look.
"Old Olly, do you have a minute? Something is baffling me and you might help me."
Old Olly stared at me for a moment before she nodded without a word. With that, Old Olly and I walked away from the children.
"What is it that's baffling our smart Lilou?" asked Old Olly, not beating around the bush.
I could feel her strong curiosity about my 'dilemma'. Simultaneously, I also felt her desire to help if she could.
I pursed my lips in a thin line, clearing my throat once again. "Old Olly, what does it mean when someone says; I'll fuck you hard?" I asked, staring at Old Olly curiously.
Upon hearing my question, Old Olly's smile slowly faded as her wrinkled forehead creased even more.
"I mean when someone already ruined someone's life and said that… does that mean that person will make the other person's life even more miserable?"
Even I was confused by my question. However, I didn't want Old Olly to think I was in that situation.
As Old Olly contemplated my question, I waited for her response patiently. Old Olly was a wise woman. Despite being a peasant, Old Olly was not illiterate. She was like a mother to me when my father passed.
Therefore, old Olly might enlighten me so I could prepare myself for what's to come. The Duke was unpredictable and his words were sometimes vague, and sometimes he was overly blunt.
"Hahaha!" After a long moment of silence, Old Olly chuckled as she clapped her hands.
Seeing her reaction, I furrowed my brows in puzzlement. Wasn't this an alarming situation?
Well, we all suffer an awful life. What else could we peasants do but laugh our situation off?
"Lilou, did someone say that to you?" Old Olly asked, her tone was as carefree as ever.
"No!" I quickly denied it. "It was someone I know from Banse!"
I lied. I didn't want to worry Old Olly or everyone once I told them about my numbered days.
"Ohh…" Old Olly nodded in understanding. "I think you misunderstood, Lil."
"Misunderstood...? What?"
"That word is often used as a swear word, but its meaning is different." Old Olly explained, but it didn't clear up my puzzlement. "I think the person who said that wants to do what husband and wives do."
Old Olly added yet, nothing she said made sense to me. "What husbands and wives do?" I repeated in a questioning tone.
Did she mean working in the field together? Most of the farmers were husbands and wives helping each other.
"Haha! Oh, Lilou. You're as innocent as the children," Old Olly chuckled, shaking her head lightly before raising her gaze back to me.
"That person who said that to your… friend, must fancy your friend," Old Olly said in simple words.
"Fancies her?" I repeated, suspicious of the explanation.
His Lordship said he liked me. However, I knew he truly meant he liked to eat me, literally.
After Old Olly's waves of chuckles, she looked at me. Her usual gleeful expression turned solemn as she stated. "Let me tell you, Lilou. Never agree to it. Men will tell you all flattery to get what they want. Once a child is involved, they disappear without a trace."
"It's not me!" Yet, I could only focus on the fact she still thinks it was me!
"Alright, alright. But if it happened to you, never submit to lust. Some people might take advantage of your innocence." Still bearing the same tone, Old Olly warned. I furrowed my brows as I discerned the seriousness of her remarks.
"Lust?"
"Yes. You will feel it once the time comes. It is a potent emotion that could have a bittersweet ending. So, make sure he is sincere and a good man who wants your heart and not just your body."
I pursed my lips in a thin line as I exchanged gazes with old Olly. After a beat, I nodded, and Old Olly placed her hand over my shoulder.
"You're at that age, Lil. And your body will soon crave for someone to explore it. Don't fall for temptations." She added, nodding with resolve. "Unless your heart is prepared for the pain and your mind is aware of what your heart denied."
*
Old Olly returned to the field, and I started the walk back to the children.
Temptations.
Lust.
Explore.
I felt like Old Olly just made it more confusing.
The Duke was indeed tempted to eat me right away. He's a vampire and surely lusts for blood. Perhaps choosing me meant he wanted to explore his taste buds?
Although he told me his reasons for choosing me, that didn't change my situation. My life and death were still in his hands. Sincere? He was sincere in devouring me literally! And unless my heart was prepared for the pain? I was prepared to die, and my death was not something my mind denied.
"I'll end up…"
Suddenly, Samael's last words last night crossed my mind. The moment I recalled his tone, and how his fiery breaths felt in my ear caused my face to heat up.
"Wake up, Lilou. Perhaps Old Olly just said that because she didn't know the entire story," I mumbled, slapping my cheek lightly as I shook my head, denying the things my heart couldn't accept even when my brain reached a simple conclusion.
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