章 6: to protect and aid
kook:
i was thrilled. i started my job a year ago and so far, it was boring, but i got the best assignment ever, a few weeks ago.
i became the bodyguard of a fucking model! THE model! fucking taehyung kim! the world wide male model!
he was friendly, but.... to be honest, an asshole. he liked to party, liked to find ways to escape me, liked to fuck around, the only thing i could prevent were drugs. not on my watch! it was exhausting running after him. exhausting explaining him, that it was necessary that i was glued to him all the time. only when he slept, i would be away.
he was an annoying fucking child!
but he was friendly to me. at least one good point.....no the other was, that we traveled around the world. i saw countries, i never thought i will.
as a man, i still could appreciate the beauty of a man and he was beautiful. in my eyes and of the rest of the world, he was the most beautiful face out there.
we hit the gym together and i worked out next to him and his trainer. his life was exhausting, but he made huge sums of money.
one thing i figured out quickly was, that he was lonely. he had no real friends. he didnt like his manager, he rarely talked with his family on the phone and the rest of people were either staff or "kissi-kissi" society whores.
i pitied him.
so sometimes, he called me over, tho i was off the clock, to have a conversation and a glass of alcohol. we talked about his life, mostly, like whom he met, with whom he had some fuck-time, who was nice and who was awfull. some funny stories.
it was a big huge secret, that tae not only fucked girls, but prefered boys mostly. the girls were ok, they suited his image, but the boys were hushed. it was my job to get them lost, after he was done with them. poor boys.
we were on the way to europe for the fashion shows, sat in a privat plane. he had his 3rd glass of champagne and was in a terrible mood. he had a fight with his all over manager, about some break time, tae wanted to have. now he sat there in silence, biting his underlip, what was an idicator, that he was really pissed.
"relax your face, or u ll get wrinkles" i grinned to him. he turned his face, but thanks to his enormous sunglasses, i couldnt see his eyes. "fuck off" i sighed. "i am your bodyguard" he looked away. "i would prefer a real friend over a bodyguard" he mumbled. i was surprised. "i am your friend" he looked back, shoved his glasses a bit down his nose and scant my face. "are u?" "what question is that?" "than tell me, what u think on that matter?" "i think u should have some vacation time. at least after all those fashionshows. a rest would be good for u" he gave me his huge smile. "see.... u are a friend....would u come with me?" "where?" "on vacation!" i again was surprised, but nodded. "sure" "deal!" he smiled bigger and leaned back into his seat, took a sip and was silent again. okay.....what was that?
the fashion shows were endless nights of partying and alcohol, sex and whatever. i had to force him to eat properly, have some sleep. it was difficult.
he blew up. all the stress, the booze, the people and his demanding manager, made him blew up. it was only something minor, with one of the hairstylist, but .... he went off like a 4th of july firework.
he trashed his hotel suite. it was bad! really bad. i had to force myself in and tackle him on the ground.
"get off me! get the fuck off me!" "only when u come down" "u are not in the position to tell me...." "i am! i protect u! even from yourself, if i have to! now calm the fuck down"
i layed on him. i could feel his rapid heartrate. his panting. his desperation and anger. his eyes had so much pain in it. i watched him closely. stroked his hair, to calm him down.
"everything is okay. nobody will hurt u, i am here" i whispered. tears started to ran out of his eyes. my beautiful, beautiful taehyung.
"i cant breath! i cant go on like this" "i know" "its too much!" "i know" "i hate him so much!" "i know" "dont say "i know" all the time!" i chuckled. "i know" he smacked my head. i laughed and so did he. "u are still beautiful" "dont compliment me! i have enough asslicker on my ass!" "i am not asslicking. i am honest" he exhaled big. "yes, u are.... i am a wreck, kook! an empty shell" "no u are not. u are just overworked. u need some relaxing time" he nodded. "shit! i destroyed the room" i laughed and helped him up. "yes u did. good that u are loaded! come, get some sleep." "u stay?" "course"
i threw some stuff off the bed and helped him in. "can...can u hold me?" i was schocked. i never saw him that vulnerable. "sure" "thank u kook" "no problem"
i woke up first, ordered roomservice and waited for him to wake up. i had to spook his manager off several times, even threatened him, what got me a "nice" call from my boss, but since i worked that long for tae and the boss only heard good things about my work and he didnt liked the manager himself, he just gave me a warning. not an earnest one.
tae yawned and sat up. "morning" "hmmm." "u want some coffee?" "hm..." i chuckled, he looked so cute. "how late is it?" "only 7:30" "shit... i didnt sleep long" "at least some hours" "hmmm..." he looked around. "shit...i should give the cleaning staff a big fat tip" i nodded. "appropriate amound" he glared at me. "u should have stopped me, before i wrecked everything" i raised a brow and hid my smirk with the coffemug.
"what?! i see your filthy grinn!" "nothing..." "kook" "i could hurt u, or u me" "i wouldnt! if u tackled me down, like u had later, this wouldnt look so bad" he looked around the damage he made. "and u wouldnt have fought me?" "i think i would have" "see" "but u can snap me out of my antics" "still... "
the last show was over and we were backstage and celebrated with the staff and all the other "important" people. it was disgusting to watch them.... telling pleasent lies, beeing so nice with each other, but had the knifes hidden behind their backs. waiting for a slip or whatever. i shook my head and watched tae cruising through that crowd, talking, laughing, drinking....a lot... my tongue was busy inside my cheek. i needed to hold myself back not to make a fucking scene.
i saw him whispering with another guy. funny, that idiot wasnt his type at all. they both dissapeared behind some curtains and i followed them. i glanced through the split and saw the exchange of money and a white powder. HELL NO!
i bolted through the fabric, grabbed the dealer, hit his head against the wall behind him and turned to tae. "what are u doing?!" "what the fuck are u doing?! no drugs, tae!" i ripped the package from his hand, stuffed it into my blazer and pulled him with me.
he didnt liked that. "let me go! u embarrassing me infront of my friends!" i stopped us, leaned very close to his face, so he could see how pissed i was "i am bringing u to the hotel and u shut up right now" he looked scared, but let me pull him out of the building, back to the hotel.
the suite was clean again and i pushed him into it, closed the door and turned to him. he was mad! was in my face and yelled at me. for the audacity i had, pulling him like a stubborn child to the car, beeing stupid over a bit of cocaine, unreasonable for tonight! it was the last show, it was normal to party, bla bla bla
i threw his cocaine through the room. "u want that?! go get it! blow your fucking skull! be like those fucking assholes! u are better than this! better than them! u are fucking taehyung!" i yelled back at him.
he was shocked, he never saw me loosing my shit, ever.
his lips quivered, his hands trembled, his eyes went big. "i....i..just wanted to get off some steam...i ...i am no druggy" "pfff, tae, .... u are one step away to be an alcoholic, ten steps from any addiction of any drug, five steps away to get yourself syphilis or hiv." "dont u dare to talk to me like that!" "i can and i will!" "who u think u are?!" "i am your friend tae, your ONLY friend in this whole fucking world!" his face scrunched and he started to cry.
"yes i drink to much, yes i fuck around, but i make sure, i am protected! u know that! and i only do maybe once or twice any drug in a year! u know that too! and i know that u are my only friend! u dont have to be so cruel and rubb that into my face! i know i am worthless without my face! i know, jungkook! i fucking know!" he cried out. i stepped closer to hug him, but he pushed me away.
"dont.....no! i hate u" but i didnt go away, i wanted to hug him. he tried to fight me off, but in the end i held this cry baby tight in my arms.
"what should i do? what should i do?!" he cried into my shirt. i rubbed his back to sooth him.
"u have so much to offer, tae. u are more than just a pretty face" "what do i have to offer?" he looked so broken into my eyes, that i caressed his face. "u are so talented with a camera, u can draw and u can sing" "yeah sure...great qualities." i gave him a smile. "but u can start something diffrent for yourself. painting would help against the stress, rather than those fucking drugs and alcohol!" he snuggled into me, wrapped his arms around my neck and stopped crying. "sorry for my freakout" i chuckled. "i am afraid, i am used to it now" "asshole" he leaned up and kissed me. i was ....shocked?
he backed away. "what are u doing, tae?" "i need some love tonight" "i can get u a boy" "no....cant u?" he whispered and looked with pleeding eyes. should i.....
"tae..." "please" i sighed, weighted my options. that would change all.
i kissed him hard, didnt gave him any chance to breath. we danced to the bedroom, i pushed him onto the bed, yanked his expensive clothes off him, grabbing his skin harsh. i wasnt gentle. i wanted to punish him and at the same time, wrap him into a blanket and held him forever. my feelings were conflicted.
he didnt say a word, let all happen. i just fingered him open, when i looked into his face, i stopped. i backed away from him. he looked up, sat up and looked surprised.
"what are u doing?! dont stop!" "i cant do this..." "why the fuck not?!" "u...i...would take advantage of you" he tilted his head and sighed annoyed. "are u fucking kidding me?! take advantage! come on..." "tae..." "what the fuck" he cursed, stood up from the bed, pushed me onto it and sat on my lap, held my hands above my head. his face looked pissed at me.
"u are my friend" "thats why i shouldnt do that to u" "its the reason u should do it! as a friend u do everything to make me feel better, to let me feel safe and satisfied. do u understand that?!" we looked at each other for a while (only seconds) until i gave in. "okay" i sighed.
"am i that unattractive for u?" "fuck, tae... u know thats not true!" i turned us and kissed the life out of him to shut him up. "undress me" i ordered and he did. fast. he was horny as hell.
"i like your cock" he husked out, stroked me and licked his lips. for fucks sake! was his mission to drive me insane? cause he was on a good way to it.
he smirked and gave me the most sexiest look ever. "u should fuck me now" "i am about to" "i would like to blow u, but i am so horny right now!" "good with me" "but i can blow u later, right?!" i shook my head laughed and pushed him back, heaved his legs on one of my shoulders and gently pressed myself into him.
"u are so beautiful" "say something no one said before" "u are my best and worst in my life" "worst?" i raised a brow and smirked. "do i really have to explain it to you now?" tae thought about it and shook his head in the end. "no, i need u now. later" i grinned and started to thrust into him. as he mostly was the active part in his "relationships", his hole was still "fresh" and very sensitive. i held myself back at first, let him adjust, but my tae was a greedy fucker.
my plan of beeing a gentle lover to him, went down the drain, after he slammed his hips into mine, made me go harder on him. he was never that sexy, aluring, breathtaking on any picture, wallpaper, magazine, than right there on this bed, under me. and nobody saw him that way, it was only for me, i hoped.
i sucked his beauty in like a sponge, his moans were pure music, his skin made me cry, his beautiful eyes....made me weak. alone his scent could make me undone, everytime i got it into my nose. he was my angel with broken wings. i needed to protect this creature.
"look at me" he struggled to say. "i am here, babe" "dont stop!" "i wont" "i need u so much" "u have me, always" "always?" "yeah"
i felt his muscles contracting, squeezing me, made it harder to thrust. "are u close?" "dont stop....dont stop....i ll kill u if u ....dont stop...." he winced. i would laugh, if it wouldnt destroy my hard on.
"dont...stop....dont...." he got a guttural sound out and collapsed down. i was still into my high and tried not to faint.
"fuuuuuck...tae...." "hmmmm....dont talk...." we layed side by side, looked up the ceiling. "now?" he nodded. "u are fantastic" he turned his face to me and smiled. "thanks, u are not so bad either" "pfff...i am a sex god" he laughed and sat up. he placed his chin onto his knees and sighed. "tell me" "what" "what does this made us" i smiled and sat up, kissed his shoulder and leaned on it. "we shouldnt let anyone know, for a start" "why?" "it would end my job with u" "oh...i didnt thought about that" he looked at me. "i dont wanna lose u" "u wont, thats why we keep it under the rugs" "but... we are..together?" "yes" he smiled and kissed me.
and we kept our relationship quiet. i protected him, stayed by his side, made sure he was healthy. i threatened his manager and tae got his vacation. of course i was with him.
i learned so much about tae. he was the most beautiful creature ever!
he retired after that year and started to envisioned his dreams. his pictures and paintings became huge, they were sold like hamburgers, just very expensive. he sang me a song, when he wanted me to get horny for him. tsss, i just needed to look at him, but i didnt told him. it was a tiny ritual for us. i chose another career for myself too, tae didnt like my job and was afraid that i was going to get hurt. now i had my own little editing studio and with taes connections in the film industry, i had enough work.
we also came out in public after some months. a full coverstory in some yellowpress. we didnt liked it, but it was important for tae. so i swallowed my resentments and went with it.
oh yeah! it was a glorious day when tae fired his asshole manager! i never had a wider grin on my face!
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