章 36: REMEMBERENCE 7
{Present day situation when Song Jun has locked himself in the bathroom. Tang Xian is trying to make him open the door with others}
{Tang Xian's point of view}
"Judi please please open the door! Judi see I am Xian ge... please open up... Mama why he is not opening? Why you didn't open it when you heard him saying go away...??"
I was banging on the door of the bathroom like my life was dependent on it and yes, my life was dependent on the opening of the door from inside. My Judi was in there. When I got the call of mama from her tone I realised it that something was surely very wrong with my Judi. While coming home I took the control of staring of my car in my hands even after Yan Yan's fierce self.
I couldn't stop myself even if God would have come in front of me in such situations, she was merely a human. I shoved her on the side with a harsh push and my piercing gaze made her shuddered which I felt but nothing was there to stop me from coming fast home.
The ride usually took more than 20 minutes was finished by me within 10 minutes. I don't remember how many red lights I broke. How many people scared away with the speed. How many of them lost control of their respective vehicles but nothing was there to stop me from coming. My Judi was up to something when we had the happiest moments of our lives.
"How could he do something like this??? How could you hurt my Moon like this Judi? How am I supposed to face what was going on there.?? Was dying is more beautiful than going there and seeing what I was about to lose.
No...No...You can't do anything wrong with me now my Moon...You don't have any right on your body, mind and soul...It is already mine now. You yourself gave everything to me...Now you cannot back down...You remember this very well Judi...and if you are going to forget it, I will make sure to make you remember it..."
I came home as fast as I could just to see everyone panicking, calling and banging on Judi's door. Everyone was requesting him to open but brat was adamant, not listening to any one of them. Then I went and started to bang on the door like a madman.
"Xian Xian calm down please just try to call him one more time. We hoped that when he will hear your voice he will come out. Whenever we call him, he only said to go away! We didn't know that he will not respond to you also. I really didn't know something like this can happen, he came back from death's mouth after your calling!"
"Mama he is not opening the door...Judi...Judi, please see your Xian ge is here. Please open the door. Please, Judi, don't do this. I can't handle this anymore. Don't torture your gege like this... Please, Judi, I beg you. Open the door!"
"Go away, everyone. I don't need anyone here. I am tired now. I just want to sleep. Go away..."
His voice came out again from the bathroom but it pierced inside my heart like a throne.
"Judi...It's me your Xian ge...Why you want me to go away?? Have I done any mistake?? Why you are behaving like this? I didn't come back early. I couldn't clear out everything fast. I am sorry but I sent Ziyi there with you.
I am sorry that you had to run away from my office like a thief but believe me, Judi, we didn't realise that something like this could happen. I am sorry my Moon...I am sorry, please.. Please forgive this Xian ge please..."
I peered up at my mama and finally took the decision of breaking in.
"Why he is not saying, anything mama. I can't take the risk now mama. It's been 2 minutes now I am calling him. Other than saying go away, he didn't say anything. It is not possible that he won't respond to me. Baba, we need to open this door, I need to be with him now. We will break it now."
I took the decision for my Judi, Was I late to take that decision? I didn't hear him like for two minutes now. My heart was constantly saying he is not safe. The 10 minutes journey from office was already felt like an eternity and now these few minutes were like killing me by stabbing in my heart.
"What happened to you my Judi?? Please be safe... Please..."
The view in front of my eyes was enough to kill me thousands of times brutally. It made me stopped in my tracks and fell because of my jelly legs. Baba hold me when I was about to hit the floor of the bathroom but he holds me tightly enough in his arms not to let me fall again.
I saw him lying in the bathtub. Inside water like...like...he made a bed of bathtub which was totally filled with water till the edges of it. He was sleeping peacefully under the water on the right side like he was resting on someone's arm and that person was hugging him from behind. His face was serenely peaceful like there was nothing he wanted other than this embrace with death.
I ran towards him quickly after regaining myself in seconds and pulled him out of water. I made him sleep on his stomach and pressed on his back till the time he didn't vomit all the water inside his body which was taking him away from me.
He was...he was going away from me and I was still making him feel my love!
He was...he was taking my life with him there and I was trying to give my soul to him!
He took all my longing, love, sympathy with him and I was trying to give my mind to him!
He took everything with him and I was trying to hold on to his existence for all my hope for solace...Which he was mercilessly taking away from me!
I pressed on his chest hard again and again and blow air to his mouth to make my life come back but still, that stubborn brat didn't give a fuck.
"How could you do this Judi? How dare you? You fucking asshole. Breathe now. Breathe. How can to do this?? I... I will kill you with my own hands, Judi. You better breathe. You bugger... breathe. breathe..."
I blow air one more time in his mouth but his no response made me cry out loud. I could not care, for anyone around me for whatever I said or did at that time because it was my life, which I was losing in front of my eyes.
My moon, my precious stone, my soul was lying in my arms without moving or breathing. How I supposed to behave at that time???
"You bugger! Come back again, come back to me now. Don't make your Xian ge angry. Please. Please Judi please, breathe. Judi, please. I am sorry for everything I did wrong to you but please come back now, please come back to your Xian ge now..."
I tried to say everything that could make him come back to me but like time was losing out of my hands, my mind was losing every emotion out of it. I held his collar in my hands and shook him till my hands supported me in it. My hands, my legs, my heart, my brain everything was giving up on me.
I was feeling that every second it was getting difficult for me to breathe like I was the one who was getting down in that bathtub. Then in anger, I hit on his chest and said my words finally crying out loud,
"Open your eyes...Judi please... please... Judi...I swear I will never speak with you again if you don't open your eyes now...."
I held him again near to my heart and let out a long cry. I cried there like it was my last call on my life and ordered him in a strict voice.
"OPEN YOUR EYES JUDI...BREATHE... BREATHE..."
................
"Hey, Xian Xian, How are you doing??? He is going to get okay all right. You are standing here since night, please go and get some rest..."
I turned to look at my best friend Yanli and broke down in her embrace finally. So many emotions were piled up in the heart which was frozen till he didn't come back to melt it by his warm feelings. Just in the morning, I felt so much alive with his every touch on my body and soul and now here I am looking at his motionless body like a wandering soul.
Just in the morning I enjoyed being with my love for the first time and now I was again taken aback totally 360degrees. He was now lying on the hospital bed with all the life support systems to keep him alive.
"Xian Xian, please don't cry. You already went through a lot now don't trouble your body like this. He is okay now. Doctors are trying their best Xian ge. Please I can't see you like this. Please Xian Xian takes care of yourself, you need to be strong for him. He won't be able to survive without you. When he will come back... Please Xian Xian, don't cry."
I tried to calm myself when I found a little solace by Yan Yan words but still looking at my Judi's state and thinking about past few days, I couldn't able to stop myself from crying.
AUTHOR'S THOUGHTS:
I don't support self-harming or hurting self out of anger or agony. In the book what Song Jun did and why he did, I am thoroughly going to explain. Don't take these things seriously. I want people to love themselves more than anything in this world.
In the next chapters, you will know what happened in school with Song Jun and Tang Xian which separated them for ten long years.
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