章 5: Special: White Christmas

The campus is not how I remember it, bathed in a soft and sweet light, silent, almost gloomy. I take a few steps, the snow crunches under my feet. I keep moving forward with a racing heart, I want to go faster, I want to get there earlier.

I feel that I am not moving forward, with each step I take, I am further away. I'm not going to be on time.

I see how two men, probably teachers, close the doors of the main building of the School. I accelerate, I try to be on time. When the trees stop hiding my slim silhouette, not a halo of light filters through the doors. They are closed tight.

I lean against the frozen crust, sighing as the mist makes me imagine impossible figures.

I shake my head, looking at the dress Sam had left in his closet. A beautiful piece of dense sails covered by silk, strapless and flight. The color reminds me of summer, a mesmerizing green that plays with my hair. The contrast is beautiful, or so Alesha said.

I sigh again, I'm left out.

That means no Christmas party for me, no gifts, no laughter, no fun, no discovering more expressions from my companions, the Children of Dionysus… I just hope they realize it, I would like to be with them.

With good intentions, I go back to the bedroom at a slow pace, memories dance in my mind, Selene with the look identical to Mom's, dad on the balcony smoking as they sing and dance alongside a strange, old karaoke that seems to want to play forever Mariah Carey's lyrics echo through the grove, "All I want for Christmas" was Selene's favorite song. Despite having inherited Mom's booming voice, her words slid across her lips like powerful streams of water.

Fun hung in the air.

I always wanted to get closer, something in me was wrong, at that time, I didn't understand it, I don't understand it and I won't understand it. Why? It is as if I wanted to be part of them, it seemed so brilliant, so much splendor... Every year I allowed the colorful decorative lights to let me dream, there would be something better to come. That someone's waiting for me with open arms, but I still can't reach him. I'm blinded.

I can remember the next morning when we ran to see the gifts under the tree. Every year envy ran through me like a soft and sweet poison, Selene received toys, clothes, colors, everything she secretly, and not so silently, asked for.

On the other hand, I was always looking for "the box". Every year Selene's old clothes waited for me, wrapped between soft cardboard walls lined in cheap wrapping paper, from the bazar across the street.

I thanked my parents in ignorance. They never responded, deep down, I've always wanted to believe they had been listening.

I cover my ears with the palms of my hands, a roar deafens me for a moment. What was that?

I approach, cautiously, the clearing that is deep in the grove. A cold shivering spreads through my body, his eyes, dark as the deepest abyss, watch me.

I nail mine into the dark figure of his.

I can feel his fear, he stops his group, which has just attacked the walls of the School. I do not understand the reason of his actions, deep down, I know he regrets it. I can see it in his terrible aura.

"Kelara…" His name is barely a whisper in his head, but I know he heard me.

He approaches briskly, I pull away when he tries to knock me unconscious. I successfully immobilize him, despite the size of his bear figure. His gaze shines, dark and evil. His hair with a hint of carelessness, dark like all those who have renounced the Gods, their blessing.

I hear the sigh ring out, as the clearing clears, everyone runs in terror to safety. He twists lazily, I loosen my grip and jump apart, I know he won't hurt me.

We sit on the grass, for a moment, I fear for Sam's dress. But it is something inevitable, it was going to end up stained one way or another, because of my concern. I shrug under his watchful eye.

- Shouldn't you be at the party?

<< I have arrived a little late ... >>

His mocking smile doesn't last long to show up.

- Poor Cinderella ... - I focus on the stars, until the question that keeps haunting me decides to escape.

<< Why now? >> his gaze is somewhat confused. << Most of them have gone home for the holidays. >>

He shrugs.

- It was going to be a simple warning,- He makes a strange hand gesture that I don't know. - You know, to scare you.

<< I admit that they have let their guard down. >>

- Let's not talk about this stupid fight today, - I raise my eyebrows in disbelief at his almost playful look. - why haven't you gone home?

A hand caresses my arm.

<< I don't think they miss me. >>

His laugh echoes through the clearing.

- Are you the black sheep of the family too? - I incline my head a little, I think of a good answer, it was not wrong, but there is a word that defines me better.

<< Do you like Christmas? >> I ask, determined to change the topic.

- No, it sucks ... - He turns, I feel his body approach mine as his hands surround my waist. They are rough, full of hardness. - And you?

<< I love it. >> Again, his laugh resounds, it is closer. His lips brush my ear as I pull away from him. A little more and I go deaf.

- I expected that answer, - He points to the sky, with a look that promised to dream infinities in silence. - Is it because of the lights and decorations, princess?

I shake my head.

- Are you not going to answer me either? - I look at him attentively as I brush my lips with his, letting me be taken to Hell itself by his hands.

<< No, I like Christmas because I exist again. >>