章 50: Into The City Streets
A sister. Ash had a little sister. 'Had' in past tense because she didn't anymore.
Her name, who she was and what had become of her.
Questions that teetered at the tip of my tongue that I couldn't bring myself to give voice to because I knew if I did, I'd just spoil the mood even worse than it already had been.
For the rest of the journey towards town, Ash could be seen simply huddled over by the windowpane, staring off into the dreary city streets overcast by the grey, murky skies.
I asked if she was alright and she assured me that she was. I'd really love to believe that, but… it was hard not to notice that, inch by inch, there was that gap between us again.
This whole bus thing had backfired on me, and to think, just moments before it was going so well...
Fortunately for the both of us, there was hope. The thundering clouds in the sky hadn't yet to pour.
The next stop the bus stopped at was our stop to the shop.
In the pursuit of her happiness, I was already foiled once. I won't be foiled again.
I gently tapped her on the shoulder and poor unsuspecting Ash gave a small jump of fright.
"Wha - ?"
"This is us," I told her, getting up on my feet while offering my hand out towards her.
I did my best to look as reassuring as I can be, as welcoming as I could be. All for the sake of having her reach out to me.
Did it work?
Err… kinda, I guess.
Ash blinked once then shifted her eyes over from me to my outstretched hand. I saw her expression, saw her contemplate it, then slowly I saw her hand lift up from the seat.
Was worried she'd go about changing her mind at the last minute, so I took a chance, met her halfway, and grabbed hold of hers instead, gripping it firm.
Surprised? Of course she was but she didn't try to pull away. That was good.
Okay, out of context, that sounded creepy, but I digress.
"Let's go, shall we?" I proclaimed with fervor.
"Yes…" she answered back with fervor but not as much.
With newfound determination, I guided us to the nearest exit, waited for the door to flap open wide, thanked the bus driver for his generosity, then, finally, there we were once more atop solid ground, watching by the sidelines as the bus roared away, shrinking into the distance in a smog of black.
It's been quite a long time since I've subjected myself to the hustle and bustle of city life. Good to know that even as my life kept going all topsy turvy upside down Australia-style, I could always count on the concrete jungle to keep me rooted to reality.
Now, the last time I was here, I died. So let's just pray that lightning doesn't strike twice.
And then lightning flashed the sky. Wow, Zeus… you have a way with timing. You trying to tell me something? Well, hold your bolts. I'm not listening. I got a goal to accomplish here, ominous signs be damned.
"Now," I clapped my hands together. "Let's be on our way."
A nail salon at the front, a pub to the side. I know where we were. From here, it was basically a straight line towards the east before we reached the little treasure trove we call a grocery store.
Naturally, I began heading west with a spring in my step.
"Master? Where are you headed off to?"
That was quick. Didn't even make it three steps before I stopped by an inquiry.
Thankfully, I already had an answer at the ready in the form of a forefinger pointed directly at the empty sidewalk that lied before me.
An answer that only brought about an even greater bout of confusion. Ash furrowed her brow.
"Forgive me if I'm mistaken… but as I recall, the store in question resides to the east of here, does it not?"
"True," I said. "But I figured a little walk along the city is just what my body needed after being cooped up in that house for so long."
"A walk? Is… is that wise?" said Ash, with a concerned gaze soaring upwards.
"Not really," I said. "But I figure it wouldn't hurt much."
"I… I suppose so," Ash responded. "Where do you have in mind, exactly?"
"Anywhere, really. I'm not fickle on the destination. Uh, you won't mind, right?"
Casual was good. Casual was best. Talk to her as you would any other time, and eventually it'll become the norm once more. Or at least… that's how my theory goes. It sounded like a viable strategy when I was formulating it in my head.
In practice though?
Judging from the way she gripped the handle of the umbrella tight, to the way that 'No, I wouldn't,' sounded with an indecisive tone in her voice. It's safe to say that the answer to that question remains an inconclusive one.
It's fine. We have an entire city ahead of us to arrive at a conclusion.
"Let's go," I said.
And with that, off we went to indulge in my whimsical whims, taking a little stroll around the block, just the two of us.
Would have loved for it to simply remain as that. Just two people, walking, talking, enjoying themselves in one another's company without any extra baggage hindering them down.
Oddly enough, reality remained as bitter and cold as the weather… life was all about hindrance, sadly.
Block to block, side by side, an invisible barrier remained standing between us, and while I was all for tearing it down and smashing it gone, Ash on the other hand, didn't really seem to mind it.
Quiet brooding on a downcast expression. It wasn't hard to guess what exactly was keeping her thoughts wallowing in gloom. After all, it was also keeping mine.
Ash's sister was a wild card I never expected to be put up against with. One look towards those siblings in the bus was enough to send her mood nose diving into the deepest depths of despair.
Just what the hell happened there?
Quick glances, not for more than a second, I kept giving towards her. Each glance just kept building up that urge, the urge to know, the urge to ask.
Can you tell me more about her, Ash? Can you? Will you?
You can't. You won't. I knew that. I respected that. But how can I ever understand you if I don't know you?
Your story was something you don't want me to know, but the thing you don't know is that in time I'll still know. It was inevitable. Asteria will tell your story for me. Your past, your present, your future. Eventually I'll know every single thing about you. Even your sister.
I don't want that though. Not one bit. To me, it was not Asteria's story to tell, not its secrets to give out. It was yours and yours alone. I wanted you tell me, not some stupid game.
Then again… it isn't all you, is it now? I'm to blame too. You aren't telling because I wasn't asking. And I didn't want to risk asking either.
So really, I suppose we both have our own things we're too reluctant to speak out loud. Which is a shame, because I needed… I wanted to understand you more than ever right now.
"You still fine with walking a bit more?" wasn't the question I really wanted to say.
"I suppose," wasn't the answer she really wanted to give.
Regardless of what we wanted, we kept on walking anyway.
This plan wasn't working out as well as I thought...
This flimsy facade of normalcy is wearing me down to the bone. I wasn't sure how long I could continue wearing it for. Was holding out for the hope that I would be able to come up with something that can help take our minds off things.
That was the plan I had with this walk.
But… she wasn't throwing glances at cars, she ignored every single fascinating building that we came across, seriously, she didn't even bat an eye at the garbage truck that had whizzed past us.
Her intrigue and curiosity of the modern world were all I had to capitalize on, and now I didn't even have that anymore.
Was there anything I could do?
Yes, as it turns out. Yes, there was.
Apparently I was thinking too hard, too much, that I had actually failed to notice that I had kicked a folded tin can off the curb of the sidewalk. It wasn't until I heard the clang of aluminum hitting concrete did I get snapped into a very sudden realization.
Realization being - this was a very familiar sidewalk.
A garbage truck passed us, did it? Yeah, turns out that wasn't just a convenient coincidence.
Stopped dead in my tracks and looked off to the side, all the while feeling as if a savior had come down from high above to aid me in my plight. Really, who could have guessed that a dark and rundown alleyway could become a bastion of hope for the both us? I certainly didn't.
"Hey Ash," I called out to her, unable to contain my amusement. "Home sweet home, huh?"
Memories. A trip down memory lane was good too. In this case, it was more like memory alley, really.
Ash finally lifted her eyes up from the ground, slowly trailing along to the direction where my gaze was set.
At first - nothing. She stood there in silence, blinking once, twice, not uttering a single word. Then it finally struck her, and it's as if you could pinpoint exactly the moment when it did - with one more slow painful blink of the eyes.
She was grimacing.
"It's not… oh… oh no," She mumbled, shaking her head in the face of the bright green dumpster that fronted her. "I don't relish this moment in the slightest."
I smirked. "Come on, there's no shame in it. People have been down in the dumps before, well I guess the only difference being, they didn't really take it as literal as you have."
"Well, I'm elated to know that my past self's naivety brings you so much amusement." Ash deadpanned.
"Come on, you think it's funny too, admit it."
"Not… not particularly, no," A pause. "Okay perhaps, maybe slightly, yes…"
"Mmm-hmm."
"It was… I had good intentions. Master, surely you must know."
"Yes, but of course." I nodded profoundly. "Garbage trucks are but a plague blighting the world! Rid the world of garbage disposal, and it'll be a perfect world indeed. I think a wise man said that once."
"Now you mock me," Ash said with a slight pout.
"I would never!" I said, feigning shock.
"You did it again."
"No!" I said again with the same breathless voice.
Okay, that was as far as I could take it. I bursted into laughter. Smiling so wide my cheeks hurt.
I faked many things today, my smiles, my words… so many things. But laughter like that was not something you could force. It was sincere… genuine.
And perhaps that, if nothing else, was what finally made her laugh alongside me. It was brief, quiet, but it was there, veiled underneath her hoodie and long locks of hair - a small chuckle.
When things were calm again, Ash took a deep breath and stared at the dumpster once more, shaking her head with a sigh. "Really, If I had known sooner what it's intended purpose actually was for - "
"Then I never would have met you," I finished for her, smiling. "Simple as that."
A twitch at the corner of her lips. "Yes…" she said quietly, "Yes, I suppose I was better off not knowing then."
"Couldn't agree with you more."
Yeah, memories were indeed good. It's about high time we made more of them.
I mean after all, it still hadn't rained.
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