章 35: Side Story: The Diary of Dr. Mariano Yllana de Lopez

7th of June 1625

A storm brewed in the horizon. I reckon the island will be in for another thrashing. As the dark clouds loom over the horizon, the waves violently hits itself on the shore. My compatriots and I have been marooned on this island for more than a month or it could be even more, I lost count of it somehow.

Surely, I would have thought of this expedition as something insane, and more likely not to do it if I have known what cruel fate laid for me. But ,here I am. I came here for a variety of reasons, and independence against the Spanish rule was never my priority.

I came here in the behest of myself, clearing my conscience of guilt. I came here in hope to remove myself from getting my lustful desires of a girl who fell in love with another man. I am here to repent for that sin we both did--that night I regretfully recalled.

Thunder roared and lightning rolled above us. The wind blew violently and took off the remaining part of our ship’s sail. Our make shift tent has been blown off by the violent weather and this time, we were not able to salvage it.

Cursing as loud as the angels in heaven could hear, the group led by Simon drag the remaining chest full of food and supplies into a nearby cave for shelter. I followed along, bringing my own chest filled with our medical apparatuses, some powdered medicines I prepared, some clothes and a trinket--her trinket, the one I stole from her.

It felt painful just thinking about it; again. That night when we left towards our doom. Seeing her face shed tears to a man who thought that freedom was more important than love. I despised him for that. For leaving her broken in the middle of the night, but I guess, he would be disgusted of me if he’d learned the truth.

Rain began to pour violently, as if the heavens opened its flood gates to drown the world from its sins. I remembered that pretty well, Noah, the one who made an arc under God’s command. It’s very unfortunate that if the waters swallow the world again, it looks like we shall drown along with it.

Another sound of booming thunder cracked the dark sky. The night fell fast for us, and supper was as distasteful as it was a month prior. The soup was awfully bland. The jerky along with some wild squash and some coconut shavings were unpalatable, but we have to make do. My tongue got used to it, after a few weeks, but does not make it less awful than it truly was.

After supper, Simon approached me and started a casual conversation about his plans to get in contact with the natives. This was the hundredth time he told me about plans like these. I ought to tell him to not get his hopes up, but I kept it to myself.

I hate myself for doing that. I will regret this in the future, but I cannot do it to him. I cannot say it to his face. I made him do this in the first place. I pushed him in doing this, sprinkling the seeds of so-called freedom in his mind.

I should’ve just told him the reason why. I loved her too, more than he ever did. I wanted him to go away and so, I can get to her. I want to be with her, to comfort her. But, I never had the heart to do it. I cannot betray my best friend, even if I already did.

I patted his back and smiled as he glimmered with hope, that one day we can get through with this.

Simon had always been an innocent child, even until now. He always saw the world like a fairytale, if I daresay. He would always make decisions as he saw fit for love, justice and country. I despise that in him, he never suffered as much as the indios did, but he paraded as if, he’s a beacon of their hope.

I wish I could’ve told him sooner. I wish, I never stirred the hornet’s nest inside of him. I made him do this--I said too much.

The storm is yet to begin its full wrath, and yet the cave already had water coming inside of it. We decided to move to the higher parts of the cave. I dreaded dragging this heavy chest around with me.

The ground is filled with bat filth and now, we have to survive this storm along with bats. Luckily, one of our crew members saw; a small opening free of bats and guano. We decided to camp there.

I have written so much this day, that I have wasted so much candles this time. Simon never said a thing about it. He’s too understanding.

Dear Lord! I ask of you to save us from this mess. Deliver us from the evil of this wretched island! I am not a man to pray a lot, but this time, I hope you hear this prayer--no, our prayers.

Simon is calling me now, reminding me of the novena. It looks like I have to pray along with them.

-M.Y.D.L

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