章 3: Chapter 3
Four years later
He'd waited five long years for her to grow up. He wasn't going to wait a minute longer. He'd watched and waited as she'd flitted gracefully through her teenage years. He'd stepped in when it looked like a boy might be getting too close. As far as he knew, she never suspected a thing. His beautiful, innocent Katerina. He would do anything for her. Except let her go.
He expected her to do the normal 'girl' thing on her eighteenth birthday and throw a party, or go out with friends. Not his Katie. She was busy packing her stuff in boxes and driving it over to the small, dingy apartment she'd rented a few blocks away from her family home. He was the muscle behind the move, so he was around to hear the worried arguments her mother subjected her to. She counter-argued every one. His girl was independent.
Again, he underestimated her if he thought she would throw a party her first night in her new apartment. Instead, she shooed her mamacita out the door with a lingering hug and promise to call. Then she stepped back, locked the door and twirled on the spot, her lithe body twisting beautifully in the sunlight filtering through the grimy living room window. Her long, blond hair swung around her shoulders. Hunger beat a fierce tattoo in his chest. He was certain she forgot he was there. After he set down the last box he'd melted into the shadows and watched as she'd gently soothed her mama's anxieties.
I have a good job, mom, I can afford the rent. I'm about to start college and I need the space. I promise I'll come home for Sunday dinners every week. You can use my bedroom for that extra office you always wanted. I'll be fine, you'll see!
She would not be fine. The big, bad wolf was about to eat her up. Take the sweet virginity he'd been protecting for so many years and then never let her go. He'd wanted her from the moment he set eyes on her. Only, back then, when he was a stupid 20-year-old with no money, a black heart and a lot to prove, he had no idea what that 'want' would turn into. The kind of twisted, painful heart-wrenching love that would rip his soul apart. Katie was his salvation and she was about to find out.
As he stepped out of the shadows, she proved to him that she knew he was always there by looking right at him and giving him one of her cock-hardening smiles that never ceased to make his chest swell with love.
"Should we order in? I know it's not the best birthday dinner in the world, but I really want to order from that diner down the street my first time ever in my new apartment. Will you stay and share it with me?"
How the fuck could he say no to that? He'd introduce her to the new realities of their changed relationship after she ate her birthday dinner. He wanted her to take him seriously, he didn't want to terrorize the delicate blond. He was a big, scary, tatted up motherfucker. He was seven years older than her. Not as wide a gap as it used to be now that she was getting older, but still a lot to an inexperienced 18-year-old. Not that he'd been able to touch anyone else since her intoxicating presence had taken over any thoughts of another woman. He'd been loose with himself in his youth, but not since coming to realize exactly what Katie meant to him a few years back.
They sat on the cracked linoleum floor of her new kitchen, leaning against her cupboards, eating Chinese food straight out of the containers with plastic forks. She didn't have plates yet. Or a table and chairs. Roman yearned to provide her with everything she would need, but it wouldn't be necessary. She would be moving in with him in a matter of days. She just needed to get used to the idea. Get used to being with him.
He watched her mouth as she chewed her food and slurped at the Szechwan noodles. She savoured each bite and licked the fork to make sure she got each and every flavour morsel. He loved that there was no pretence with this girl. She ate with gusto and talked with her hands, describing the courses she was enrolled in at the local college. She didn't seem to care that he made no effort to contribute to the conversation, only grunting his responses as he ate, never taking his eyes off her. She was used to Roman's silent ways. They didn't see each other often, but when they did he never deviated. He couldn't tear his eyes from her.
Finally, she dropped her fork into the empty container, set it on the floor beside her and leaned back with a sigh, rubbing her full stomach. A satisfied smile stretched her beautiful lips and she shifted her blue eyes toward him. "What do you think?"
He dropped his half-finished container beside hers and leaned forward, his long legs stretched beside her bare ones. He lifted her hands in his and tried to think of what she'd been talking about. He could tell from the stiffening of her body that she was nervous. She wasn't used to him touching her. Hell, she wasn't used to him spending any time alone with her. Except for the time he sought her out after Dexter's shooting, he usually avoided situations where they might be together. He didn't trust himself around such temptation.
"Food was good, you should order from there again," he guessed at what she'd been talking about.
She laughed out loud and gave his leg a light nudge with her knee. He almost groaned out loud when her short skirt shifted just enough that he should see a shadow between her legs. "I was asking about work, Roman. I wanted your opinion about the restaurant. Do you think I should take an extra hostessing shift?" she asked softly.
Her pretty sky-blue eyes held his like he had all the answers. And fuck he wanted to have them for her. He was nothing compared to this angel, yet she saw something in him nobody else saw. Except maybe her mama. Even her mother had never been able to kick his gangster ass to the curb. He wanted to deserve their regard, he really did. But he just wasn't any better than he was born to be. No matter how hard he tried, he kept getting sucked back into the life. After avenging his friend, he went to work for some of the scariest fuckers on this side of the United States in a bid to wipe the rest of the opposing gang off the map. He'd been obsessed with the Red Brotherhood until there wasn't a single one left. Hell, he'd even gotten himself arrested so he could take one out in prison.
Now, Soloman Hart was sniffing around his business. And the offer was good. Almost too good to turn down. But looking at Katie now, touching her soft hands, he didn't know if it was worth his soul to keep killing for money. She wouldn't like that. So he decided to answer her question instead.
"Don't want you to take any more shifts, baby," he answered gruffly.
She blinked at him, startled. He'd never used an endearment with her before. Her tongue peeked nervously out from between her lips and she whispered, "Why, Roman?"
He sighed heavily and rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand, marvelling at how delicate it looked with the pale skin and blue veins just beneath the surface. He wanted to suck each finger into his mouth and introduce her to the intense pleasure of eroticism. Soon, very soon.
"Why don't you want me to take any extra shifts, Roman?" she asked again, frowning now.
He realized he was somehow fucking this up. Not that he was surprised. There wasn't a romantic bone in his body. He was the son of a drug baron and a sex slave. He'd spent half his life in a cartel and half his life surviving in the shadows of these city streets. He didn't deserve this girl, but fucked if he wasn't going to take her anyway. His hand tightened around hers when she threatened to pull back. Her gorgeous blue eyes flared wide. Time to tell her the truth.
"Because no girl of mine is going to be working in that shit restaurant," he growled.
Her mouth fell open and he actually did groan out loud this time, picturing his dick sliding right into that moist, unbroken recess. Using it until he'd had his fill while mussing up the perfection of her beautiful blond hair.
"I-I'm not your girl!" she gasped, her back shooting straight against the cupboard behind her.
He growled and reached out to take both of her wrists in his hands. Gently but firmly, so as not to bruise his precious madonna, he pulled her forward until she was forced to slide across the cheap tiles of the kitchen toward him. She was too shocked to put up a real fight, but she did twist her hips a little, unknowingly causing her jean skirt to move up her smooth thighs a few precious inches.
"Roman, what are you doing?" she cried out, trying to pull back. She was tall for a girl, but not even close to him in height and weight. He pulled her right into his lap and held her tight against him, enjoying the rapid flutter of her heart against his chest.
He used his finger to tilt her chin so she was forced to look up into his eyes. He searched her face and saw in there everything he'd ever hoped and ached for. Fear, yes but also curiosity, hope and arousal. She was turned on by him. Maybe she didn't want to admit it. Fuck, maybe she didn't even recognize it for what it was, but he did. And he would be more than happy to introduce her to the sensation. She gasped and wiggled in his lap, clearly able to feel the evidence of his own arousal branding itself against her bottom.
"If you don't fucking sit still, little girl, I'm going to toss you back on this floor and bury myself in you," he snarled down at you. "Was hoping our first time might be more romantic than that."
"Oh god!" she gasped and froze in his arms.
When he was certain he had her full attention, he began speaking, his gaze boring into hers. "From that first moment you spoke to me and touched me, you belonged to me, Katie girl. I made a vow to your brother, God rest his soul, that I would wait for my girl to grow up before I took her. You're done growing up now, baby."
A whimper of pain escaped her lips at the memory of her dead brother. It was something they shared. While it seemed that the rest of the world had somehow moved on from the murder of Dexter, the two people closest to him never really did. Roman continued to shadow the underworld with his presence, stalking and killing while Katie closed in on herself, never quite able to pull herself out of the numbness of death.
"Hush, love," he murmured rocking her. "I'm here for you."
He slid his hand into her hair and pulled her head up, his possessive eyes intent on her lips. Before they could touch for the first time, her voice stopped him cold.
"Please don't, Roman," she whispered.
She lay helpless in his arms. Not even resisting him. He could have easily forced her to submit to his kiss. He knew she wanted him. Had almost from the beginning. He probably could have taken her at thirteen without much of a struggle and taught her to submit. They could have had years together while he moulded her into the perfect mafia girlfriend and, later, wife. But, as always, Katie Pullman held his heart in her tiny hand. And she was asking him to stop.
"Why?" he demanded, attempting to hide the pain and fury he was feeling from that single word.
She brought a fist up between their bodies and pushed a little against his chest, trying to put some distance between them. It felt like a stab in the heart. He allowed her a few inches, but that was all. He could see her eyes glowing with fear and determination. He hated it. He knew what that look meant. It meant she wouldn't go with him. She wouldn't fucking be his. He wanted to throw her over his shoulder, take her into the bedroom and show her exactly how his life taught him to deal with women like her.
"I can't let you, Roman," she whispered fiercely, never taking her eyes from his. "You'll take me away from the things I want. If I stay with you I won't keep my job, I won't finish school and and I'll hardly ever see my friends and family. Just try and deny it."
She was right. She was absolutely fucking right. He was just surprised she saw through his obsession to the point that she understood exactly what being with him meant. He would isolate her from her family and friends, because he was jealous. She would see her mom and her brother once in a while, because they deserved her love. Her father was a degenerate fuck that did not deserve this angel. She would quit her job immediately and never go back. Roman had more than enough money for both of them. She could go to school for a while if she wanted, but he didn't see it working out in the long term, because it would eat up too much of her time.
Her too sharp eyes watched his face like she was some kind of living, breathing lie detector. "Fuck, Katie, what do you want me to say? I don't know, okay? We'll work it out."
His hands tightened around her, but she squirmed in his grip.
"It's not okay, Roman. That's my family you're thinking about taking away. My hopes and dreams for the future you'd just carelessly crush under your fist. I'm too smart to waste away as the kind of woman you'd want me to be," she said accusingly, her blue eyes now bright with tears. "This is why we can't be together."
"Enough!" he snarled viciously. He pushed her off his lap so she was on her knees on the floor facing him. He slammed her into the cupboards, hard enough to make the fronts clatter, but he was careful to place a hand behind her shoulder blades to absorb the impact. Even angry, he protected her. "I've waited years for you. I made a vow to a dead guy to wait for you. I'm done fucking waiting!"
Katie surprised them both when she slapped him. Just hard enough to get his attention. Then she gripped his unshaven chin in her small hand and forced him to look at her furious expression. "Don't you dare speak about Dexter that way, asshole. He would never have said something like that about you!"
She wrapped her arms around her middle and leaned forward, pressing her head into his shoulder. Huge wrenching sobs escaped her lips as tears rolled down her cheeks. The anger left Roman as quick as it came, leaving him with horror at what he'd done to his beautiful Katie. Just as he'd done years earlier, he pulled her heaving body into his arms and held her while she cried.
"I'm sorry, baby girl. I'm so sorry," he murmured against the top of her head.
When she finally calmed down, he lifted her in his arms and carried her through to her bedroom, which he had set up earlier. He laid her gently on the bed and crouched next to her, sweeping the soft strands of blond hair off her forehead while she watched him warily. He smiled sadly at her expression. She was afraid of him. No more curiosity or arousal.
"We belong together, Katie," he told her quietly.
Panic flared bright in her eyes. "Please, Roman," she whispered, bringing her hand up to clutch his where it touched her face. "Please, just give me more time. I-I'm not ready for this kind of relationship. I think what happened to Dexter it broke something inside of me. I just need to be alone for a while. I need to go to school and work I need time to figure out who I am. Alone."
He studied her face in the dim light from the hallway and finally nodded. He stood and stepped away from her. She pushed herself to lean back on her hands and watched as he made his way to the door. He stopped and turned for one last long look, as if memorizing every part of her. He pointed that finger at her, the one with her brother's name tattooed on it, 'For Dexter.'
"I'll come back for you, Katerina."
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