章 17: Chapter 17: IF YOU REALLY LOVE ME
When Christopher got home, he walked right past Maggie who purred and followed at his feet. He sighed and then bent down and rubbed her ears gently.
"Sorry, Mags. I'm not mad at you." She leaned into his fingers in contentment. "Did you miss me, girl?" He stood and placed his things neatly in the closet, popped in a John Coltrane disc and then checked his messages. His mother had called.
"Son, this is Mom." He smiled, as if he couldn't tell. "I hate to tell you this over the phone but Aunt Lonnie passed away today. It was quiet and she wasn't in any pain. Uncle Ray was there and the kids." Christopher blew out a deep breath and sank down into one of the dining room chairs.
"The funeral is going to be Saturday down on the mountain. The funeral is going to be at the white church at two. We goin' to meet up at Aunt Lonnie and Uncle Ray's house early…before. They want you to be a pall bearer." His mother sighed again. Aunt Lonnie wasn't his mother's aunt she was his mother's sister. He knew that she was holding it together for everyone else because that is what Mom always did. Aunt Lonnie was her oldest sister and she always said that she was more like a mother than a sister.
Christopher listened to the rest of the message and then quickly dialed his mother. His throat felt tight and his eyes stung with unshed tears. Aunt Lonnie had put evil smelling salves on his scars and had rubbed them in order to break up the keloids. His memories of her were mixed in with images of surgeries, soothing hands against his skin and her deeply accented voice telling them all stories about her and Mama's childhood.
He wiped his eyes and cleared his voice when she answered on the first ring. "Are you alright, Mom?" They talked for nearly half an hour and Christopher promised that he would be over to the house bright and early Saturday morning so that they could drive down together. He hung up feeling anguished and useless.
~*~
Ashleigh's phone rang and it was a testament to the passage of time that she was surprised to hear DeAngelo's voice on the other end. Her heart dropped a little. She had been feeling so good, thinking about lunch with her friends and her weight loss and now he had to call and stir up feelings that she wanted to forget about.
"Hi Ash, Baby."
She exhaled and looked around, tension evident on her face. "What do you want?"
"I'd like to come over and talk to you."
She was already shaking her head. "No-"
"Ash, I left Shaunda."
"What?" Her heart literally stopped beating in her chest.
"I left her. Baby, I can't stop thinking about you. When I saw you in the hospital—it killed me. I realized that I'm not prepared to lose you." Her mouth went completely dry and her legs began to shake. "Baby…I love you so much and I miss you and I'll do anything to fix this. I want to see you."
"Okay." Her voice cracked.
"I'm on my way." He hung up the phone and she sat staring into space. And then she remembered, he was on his way over now! Ashleigh leaped up and hurried into her room for something to wear that would show all her new curves. After changing into jeans and a t-shirt that hugged her boobs and flatter belly she agonized over her hair with her dark roots. God, she'd let herself go!
She was touching up her makeup when the doorbell rang and her heart began racing. Yet she walked to the door calmly and opened it. God…there he was. He was so damn beautiful. His chocolate eyes blinked as they scanned her new smaller body.
"Jesus…Ashleigh…you lost…" She beamed and opened the door for him to enter. He leaned in and kissed her cheek. "You look incredible." She shivered at the contact of his soft lips. The look in his eyes at this very moment was worth every sore muscle, every hunger pang, every drop of sweat. It was the look of desire and she didn't think she'd ever see it again.
"So. You and Shaunda are no more."
"I moved out yesterday." His hands crept to her hips and then began to glide over her butt. He grinned lasciviously. "I miss this." He said as he cupped her buttocks.
Ashleigh's brow creased and she pushed his hands away, offended at his familiarity. "Uh uh," she said. "You don't got it like that anymore. You can't just walk in here like you still got this. I didn't say that I was going to take you back, DeAngelo!"
He nodded and took a step back. "I'm sorry. You're right. Tell me what I need to do." She crossed her hands across her chest and turned away from him, still feeling faintly disgusted at the way he had just touched her.
She turned and looked at the fine man that stood before her; had dropped her for another woman without a warning or a second thought, and now has left his wife of less than five months.
He was such a loser.
She didn't love him. If she was foolish enough to take a man like him back, he would just do the same thing over and over. And she would deserve it. Shaunda now knew what it felt like to be her.
She looked down with a bitter smile. It didn't bring her any joy. They were just two women that had loved the wrong man.
She walked to the door and held it open. "I change my mind. I don't want this."
He gave her a surprised look. "What? Ashleigh-"
"Good luck. Goodbye. And lose my number."
He didn't make a move to leave. "Ashleigh, I just left my wife for you!"
Ashleigh raised her brow. "Maybe it's not too late for you to get her back. It's certainly too late for you to get me back." She held the door open wider for him.
His expression dropped as he searched her face. "You've changed."
She met his eyes. "I have. If…" She thought about her next words carefully. "If you ever really did love me, then…please walk away. And don't come back."
He looked at the ceiling and then shuffled slowly to the door. He looked at her, searching perhaps for the old Ashleigh that always took him back, that loved him unconditionally. But that Ashleigh was no longer present. He walked out the door.
She shut it and locked it and then let out a loud sigh.
She remembered a time when just the sight of DeAngelo brought her joy. When she couldn't wait to set eyes on him, to talk to him, when being in his presence made her feel special. She realized suddenly that feeling was still there but not directed at DeAngelo. It's the way she felt for Christopher.
Ashleigh took a deep breath, an almost shocked breath. She woke up each morning anxious to see him. He made her laugh, he motivated her, he accepted her. He didn't give a damn if she was fat, if her roots were dark or if she went without a stitch of makeup and was dripping in stinky sweat. She smiled. Christopher…
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