章 35: A Human Heart (I)
Chapter 35
A Human Heart (I)
The world changed. Completely so, Cain quickly summarized. It wasn't just L.A., and it wasn't just the U.S. It was everyone.
Despite it being just short of two months since the Towers descended, the fabric of day-to-day life had shifted wholly from 9-5 jobs and scramble of rushing places to the complete obsession with the Towers and what they entailed. The notion of the global economy had utterly collapsed, with several governments already having rolled under the surging number of the Conquerors. While the use of magic outside the Towers, especially the further away one is from them, is limited, it can still be extremely damning.
Like everything else, the news cycle had come to be dominated by the information about the Towers -- all Classes, from what he noticed after a quick search through the net, had been published and were being broken down day in and out as more information about them is released. Monster types, items, landmarks within the Towers, skills, stats, titles, achievements... everything was being written and discussed without a seeming stop, with 'experts' already coming forth to 'explain' the details of it all.
Most of what would be 'understood' about the Towers this early on would turn out to be wrong. For instance, the reigning 'fact' about the Titles is that they were 'unique' -- that is to say, most of the Titles outside the generic ones, such as reaching a specific Level, can only be obtained by one person. In reality, however, it was the exact opposite -- far fewer Titles can be counted as 'unique' over the ones that can be earned by far more people.
Similarly, the current conclusion on the items was that ranks -- that is, whether the items are S, A, B, C, D, or E -- denoted the value of the item completely. In reality, however, several factors went into it. The rank itself only denoted the item's value within its Level range -- so, for instance, Level 5 S+ ranked item was virtually some random scrap against a Level 20 C ranked item.
However, the initial stir was there because of the mysterious nature of it all and the attempts of people to figure out the answers.
Setting down the tablet, he leaned further into the pillow as he lit up the cigarette, glancing out the window. The expected changes have transpired, he mused. And this was only the beginning...
A soft vibration from his pocket had him reaching in and pulling out his phone. It was Emma, 'checking in'. A pained expression flashed across his face as he replied that he was fine, putting the phone down.
It has been three days since they left the Towers, and as much the things have begun to change globally, he far more felt the changes within his narrow circle of friends. Rick had completely disappeared after handling Justin's and Decker's bodies, Jamal was on a drinking binge, Sam and Jim had completely vanished without so much as a message, Lamia said she was going back home to live with her parents in Austin, Gerald had locked himself into his room here, while Diya and Emma largely remained with their room.
The two nights since their return, Cain heard them waking up from nightmares, screaming. Afterward, they didn't dare go back.
Their minds and hearts had settled, and realization had begun to dawn upon them. He knew this would be the case... yet he felt helpless when it came to aiding them.
He stood up and, just as he was about to walk to the balcony, was startled by the ringing bell. Confused, he spun around and walked through unnecessarily large and eerily hollow apartment to his front doors, opening them. There, he saw an unexpected face -- Lana -- staring at him with almost inquisitive-seeming eyes. Despite the confusion, a smile quickly developed on his face as he crouched down and picked her up into his arms.
"Ha ha ha, look at you, coming to visit your dad," he said, closing the door and walking into the apart. "What is it, firefly? You missed your old man, huh? Ha ha ha ha..."
"... yea." Lana replied shyly, wrapping her arms around his neck.
"Oh, wow," Cain said, exaggeratedly grabbing at his chest. "I think you just shortened this old man's lifespan by five years with that dose of cuteness..."
"Dad!!" Lana pouted, wringing herself out of his embrace and looking around curiously. "Do... do you have ice-cream?" she asked, looking at the floor while her cheeks flushed red.
"... yup." Cain grinned for a moment and ruffled her hair as he walked over to the fridge and scooped out two full bowls, bringing them with him as they headed to the balcony. "Does your mom know you're here?"
"Yeah, I told her." Lana said as the two settled and as she quickly dug into the bowl. "This is delish!" she exclaimed after a few scoops.
"Ha ha, yeah, I bought them specifically 'cause I thought you'd like them," he said, taking a few bites himself. The sun's rays managed to sift through the veranda, bathing the two of them gently enough that they'd barely noticed. "What's going on with you, princess? How did you spend your time with aunty J'?"
"... YouTube, mostly," Lana replied. "I learned where you got your magic!"
"Oh? You did?"
"I wanna have it too!"
"One day."
"Tomorrow?"
"More like five-six years 'one day'."
"No!" she exclaimed. "I wanna do magic as well! I wanna do magic as well!"
"It--it's dangerous," Cain tried to explain, flustered, as Lana started throwing a fit. "H-how about this? Look," he said, opening his palm and summoning a dancing kindle of fire. "Look, isn't it cool?!"
"..." it, however, had the opposite effect from what he wanted as Lana's eyes grew teary. "W-why are you showing off?!! You meanie! Dad, you're a meanie!"
"Fu--I, I'm not--really! I'm no show-off at all," Cain rapidly tried to dig himself out. "W-why do you wanna know magic anyway? It's actually, like, suuuper lame! All your friends would make fun of you, you know!"
"Shut up! My friends can already do magic!" HOW INSANE ARE YOUR FRIEND'S PARENTS DUDE?!! "I wanna do magic too!"
"... w-why?" Cain sighed and leaned back, giving in. Whatever, I can just take her to one of the shrines... it's not like she wants to become a Conqueror. As long as she can play with fire or something, she should be happy. Wait... am I really gonna let a nine-year-old play with fucking fire?!!
"Because... because maybe magic can make mom happy..."
"..." Cain got dragged out of his dangerously spiraling thoughts, noticing that Lana was on the verge of crying. "'s that so?" he chocked briefly on his words, reaching over and patting her head gently.
"She... I'm scared, dad..." she mumbled, lifting her legs onto the chair and wrapping her arms around her knees. "She... she wakes up screaming. And I hear her cry in the bathroom. A lot. What's... what's wrong with her, dad?"
"... nothing, princess," Cain said, smiling bitterly. "Your mom... is just a bit sad, that's all. And... when people we love are sad, we don't need magic to make them feel better."
"... we don't?" she asked doubtfully.
"No, we don't," Cain replied as he walked over and heaved her up, sitting down with her on his lap. "We just... we just need to be there for them. Hold their hand. Hug them. Tell them we love them. And remind them, every day, just how much we love them."
"..." Lana remained silent, closing her eyes as she rested her head on Cain's chest. "Will... will mom be better, then?"
"Hm," Cain nodded. "In time. Until then... we'll just be there for her, alright?"
"Yeah... hmm..."
Cain stealthily lit up a cigarette as Lana fell asleep, all so without disturbing her, his gaze veering off into the horizon toward the Tower. It's better to get broken down like that, kiddo, he thought. Than to feel nothing at all...
He considered what Vyle told him, about others conquering the Tower alone. In some ways... he wanted to be among them, as he didn't want to thrust the people he cared about into a similar hell ever again. In reality, those two deaths were the least on their shoulders and the most on his. Vyle was right -- the fact that he 'knew' the future was his crutch, the source of endless confidence. Even after that ordeal, he was still confident in shooting far past everyone, climbing one floor after another. But, at some point, he knew that he would hit his ceiling.
He was not talented -- him knowing the future had not changed that fact. Not like those who conquered the Towers on their own, anyway. No matter how far he reached, he knew deep down he would never be good enough to do it all alone. He had stolen one extra chance -- one more run at his life. There would be no extra ones, he knew. This was that.
Glancing down, his heart mellowed out at the sight of Lana's sleeping face. An image flashed inside his mind, of her, Emma, and him on Lana's third birthday. They'd taken 'her' to a zoo, spending half a day just roaming from one animal onto another. He'd sobered up for a day and hid himself in that temporary feeling. But it was just a short day, a short break from his life. The ugly feelings soon crept back up, and he found himself spiraling again.
There was no point to his return, he knew, if it was just about conquering the Tower. That was never his dream, nor his motivation -- at least not the primary one.
He took a puff of the cigarette before tossing it over the balcony and setting it on fire, turning it into the drifting ash. He began to gently caress Lana's hair as the girl shuffled closer into his chest, snuggling. This is the real magic, kiddo, he mused with a smile. One, for some reason, we were all so quick to toss aside for the empty and dark glory.
He smiled further and leaned deep back, drifting, relaxing his mind. The wind whistled gently past his cheeks, and the distant ruckus and noise of the city slowly vanished from his senses. There was only her, him, and the moment of silence. The magic... that was never quantified.
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