章 13: Band Aid
Every moment we had with our special one is special. We usually waste our time in every picture as though those occupational needs we had was just a bother for those.
But if those times of not being at their place arrived, how much days will we count if those memories will last? How much time does it takes for them for us to tell them how much they're remarkable to us?
For Christina, she never thought that those days will hold out like this. Seeing Eloise get thrown off like trash while all the way, not being keen about the sufferings her twin had to endure, made her so regretful of the times she wasn't there for her. Why couldn't be anyone happier? Will she ever feel home without her in this world?
That's what I'd mirrored as those sentiments drowned me through the melancholic deep sea, outflowing breathlessly while brightly opalescent blubs rose out of my lips. The hatred I felt every time I'm drawn to heartfelt sympathies, committed me to strive from this unbearable pain.
On my part, I couldn't stop myself but stare at Christina cordially as she fed her ill sister who was sitting on her bed. Her casted-down eyes glared at the floor while sniffing every second to pull herself away from her unneeded miseries. Her hand was shivering violently every scoop she flew over to Eloise's dry mouth.
Knowing how much deprived in agony her twin was, Eloise assured while patting her sister's hunched back, "Christina, I'm fine..." She wiped Christina's tears before she combed her sister's auburn hair, leaning her paled face to adjust her view. Even though she's still kind of active, her frail movements felt so eerily concerning, "-I don't want my 'babe' to cry in front of me. Please you don't have to worry."
At that moment of time, Christina stood up; her shoulders tensed and her two fist clenched on the sides. The glass plate dropped below, shattering into pieces as her salad and rice soiled the floor.
She screamed under her breath, despising her sister for giving her false hope,
"You haven't told me before that you had a... life-threatening disease. If you had done that, I would give you all of my monthly allowance in a heartbeat for you to take medications… since you'd barely took one or two! You didn't even have a proper job… and you were fooling around in a private hospital and applied for a job as a janitor? What are you thinking, Eloise?-"
At this point her tears broke out of her eyelids unceasingly, sadden about her sister for not trying to live herself to the fullest.
She scolded her sister and smacked lightly her sister's shovels, trying to fight the sadness that's been enveloping inside her bowels, "-At least tell me! Why can't you do that? We could have solved these problems in an instant… If you want to kill yourself, then why do it like this?"
Since Eloise sensed trouble from the word 'kill yourself', she insisted while squeezing her chest, knowing how much pain everybody she loved will had if she were to do that. Her feminine tone busted out of her imitative masculine voice,
"I'm trying to live… I'm just too broke. I'd got so many debts to pay… and I can't find the right time to confess to you all that. I don't want to disturb you. I wanted to live… I wanted to… but-" Her voice trailed off, attempting to speak out a word that might calm down Christina's nerves.
By then, Christina shut Eloise off with a cold slap on her cheeks, giving me and Eloise an emotional shock. 'She can't take it anymore. She's too enraged.'
She continued to yell again on top of her lungs while her sorrow suffocated her. Her eyes flared in anger and her face tone turned into crimson red, "But- what? In the end, I'm still gonna mourn… and you don't want me to worry about you! Why?-"
She closed her eyes and tilted her body forward, driven with so much upset, "- I hate you, Eloise! I would have preferred that you aren't my sister. It sucks to be so tied with a apethetic soul like you." Her face flushed in rage as her emotions exploded out of her heart.
Taking aback by her sister's desperate insult, Eloise attempted to explain when Christina cut her off once again, "Please no! Who wanted a sister who cares nothing about other's feelings? You thought I'm okay… No, I'm not okay!-"
She punctured her lips while her temper boosted out of her ear canal, "-At least, don't send a message to me that you're about to die! I hate when every single pathetic person had to do that… like give it a rest. God dammit."
Eloise assured Christina again, trying to calm down her sister's nerves as she held firmly her soft scarred wrist while locking her gaze on hers, "I'm sorry… Christina. Please forgive me. Please-"
Christina shouted at her in a flash as she gritted her teeth from falling off out of her character, "Of course no, I won't forgive you. You're just a pain. Stop invading my life. You're just making things worse for me!" She stressed out the word 'pain' as wisps of tears poured out of her eyelids as though those fragments of affection they once had were loaded with junk.
At this moment, she screamed as the spasms throughout her body withered in renounce before she walked out heavily. As she departed through the door, she tore her ppe in range while throwing it off beside her… which really bothers me.
Inside me, I was going to say 'Christina! You're littering.' but that will ruin the mood... I'm totally hopeless. Or was it because of concern? Nah, doubt. Forget her.
I stared at Eloise, concerned about her sensitivity when one tear cascaded her cheeks. She may had blamed herself for creating unwanted issues.
"I can't even do anything to at least make them happy. I'm a fool. I thought it is really easy to forget me 'cause I'm better off gone anyway." She muttered softly; her wounded smile drawn upon her face. I could tell from the two of them that they're disappointed with how things going from here.
Do twins had to fight like this? They both know they're hurting the other… and they're still ravaging around like kids. Way to go… 'twinsters'.
I let out an in-depth sigh as feelings of anguish scrambled through me and ensured her thoughtfully, "Eloise, she's just worried... Blaming the one at fault is her way of getting that sadness out of her chest. You don't need to upset yourself-"
I promised while locking my eyes on hers, snatching her emotions to deprived her lesser from that sickness she's coping with, "- You should be happy that your sister was concerned of you… and will always be, no matter what."
Eloise smiled sweetly, feeling so relieved as she pressed her heart; as though the pain inside her was just as truthful as her sentiments were. She gushed as her dextrose swayed mildly while fanning her sensibilities, "I thank you for that."
She faced distantly on the ceiling; her bags cleared as the light bounced on top of her, leaving the sparkles on her charming eyes, "I don't want to leave them like this. What am I going to do? I left the ICU like years ago since I can't survive if I had to take another surgery and just as I said I can't pay for it… Would be a waste with my condition haha-"
She stared on the abstract painting in front of her with a pained smile as she fidgeted on her blanket, "-I texted them since they are the only people I'd thought off to be with me. I don't want to miss any opportunities… and it all went into this. I knew I couldn't do anything- "
Her teary eyes stared into mine as she clenched tightly her knee, "-Christina is right. I'm a burden for them." The way she stated that gave an impact on me as if I'm stabbed on the heart by a hot-bladed imperial sword.
That hurts… for real. Knowing how much you care for them… when they only left you to fend for yourself is one thing that anyone wouldn't want to undergo into… and somehow along those lines, I seemed to relate myself on her. I sighed shakily, face palming myself, 'I wish that I wouldn't end up like her also.'
I looked away from her, tempting myself to get rid of the tensions which was floating on the air. While at the same time, advising her with full certainty, "You had to wait… She'll come back to you. Just like you, she won't let you fell into much despair. Given that, you're bearing a terrible disease to resist your own-"
I glanced on her boycotted hair; her blue colored hair faded away as her natural pale brown hair fled to the spotlight, "People like Christina will pay for the moments she wasn't there for you. She will make you happy… no matter how days will go…no matter how scared she'd get."
A memory had flashed again through me, going back to the time me and Christina were talking, ' "I can't handle 'death' very well." ' Right, Christina stated that… wasn't that bad luck? Christina… I-
Eloise chuckled under her breath… but as she did that she sounded as if she's coughing. In a spark, I rushed into the dispenser and filled the glass with warm water. After that, I walked carefully back again beside her. When I handed her the cup, she stared bafflingly at me. Her chin wrinkled as she pouted before gulping it down through her throat.
Following that, she placed the empty glass on top of the wooden table alongside her and smiled at me with delight. She patted my back as she positioned her other hand on my shoulder. She teased at me, overjoyed to meet someone who directly cares like me… unlike that sister of hers, "You're still the same... Always helping a junior who needs someone to rely into. Band Aid, you never cease to amaze me."
When I heard her said my nickname back when I was in high school, I put on a shock, "Did you just call me 'Band Aid'? A certain person only calls me that…-" By then I realized that I had forgotten this 'certain person'… Oh crap, what if?
Eloise growled with a teasing smile while pointing her index finger to herself, "That 'certain person' is me. You forgot me?"
I observed her again, trying to familiarize her features but nothing seems to fill through my mind.
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