"Is sex sin?"
Jacky reading the answer.org article on sex.
In the proper setting, sex is not a sin. In fact, sex is God's idea. In Matthew 19:4-6, Jesus states with godly authority, "At the beginning, the Creator 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate." The creation account is thus the foundation for the institution of marriage, which was validated by the Creator Himself and established to be a lifelong union between one man and one woman.
The very fact that God created humanity as "male and female" reveals that we are created as sexual beings. And God's command to "be fruitful and multiply" cannot be fulfilled without sex (Genesis 1:28). Sex is a God-given mandate, so there is no way that sex is a sin if done with one's lifelong marriage partner of the opposite sex.
The word sex is not found in the Bible. The numerous mentions of the word in society, and the world's tendency to sneer, have given the word a certain amount of notoriety. But God never intended it to be a dirty word.
The Song of Solomon follows a loving relationship between a husband and his wife through the betrothal period, wedding night, and beyond. The description of the husband and wife's pleasure in chapter 4 is discreet yet unmistakable in its meaning. That description is followed in 5:3 with God's approval: "Eat, friends, and drink; drink your fill of love."
It is only outside of marriage that sex is sinful. God made it very certain that the marriage bed must be kept pure (Hebrews 13:4). Sexual activity outside of marriage is called fornication. First Corinthians 6:9-10 says, "Do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men . . . will inherit the kingdom of God" Engaging in sex without the benefit of marriage is immoral, and "it is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality" (1 Thessalonians 4:3; cf. 1 Corinthians 6:18).
If the Bible's message on abstaining from sex until married were upheld, there would be far fewer sexually transmitted diseases, far fewer abortions, far fewer unwanted pregnancies, and far fewer children growing up without both parents in their lives. Abstinence saves lives, protects babies, gives sexual relations the proper value, and, most importantly, honors God.
In no way is sex between a husband and wife a sin. Rather, it is a beautiful expression of love, trust, sharing, and unity. Sex is God's gift to a married couple for pleasure and procreation.
Juan also read a testimony of those who experienced premarital sex.
"I developed Self-destructive behavior. As a Christian, when you engage in premarital sex, you are consciously sinning against God. This can lead to a continuous cycle of self-destruction. You acquire low self-esteem, low self-worth, and diminished expectations of yourself. In many cases, the damage that comes from giving a holy thing (your body, the temple of the Holy Spirit) to an unholy cause, (physical gratification outside of marriage) will usher to feelings of emptiness, humiliation, and confusion. You start to question everything about yourself and the world, as you know it. Like Adam and Eve you recognize your nakedness before God, and because you are not prepared to deal with it at such an early age, you plunge into an abyss of self-loathing and destructive behavior. Many students' grades decline and they lose interest in things that they once enjoyed after having sex. I remember suffering super insecure about almost everything after I had sex. If I felt doubtful about it before sex, it was only worsened afterward. Here is a poem I wrote in college after breaking up with my boyfriend. I had lost my true self while living a life of compromise and people-pleasing. I found myself in the center of an Identity Crisis."
Juan made a letter to Jacky after he read many effects of pre-marital sex:
Dear Jacky,
Then it is a good decision that we both made a PURITY PROMISE in the presence of God, our parents, friends, and had a purity ring to remind us to sacrifice and to wait until marriage.
It preserved the thrill, the excitement of that first experience without guilt, without the bad effects, and without the lasting regret that many experienced. Yes, they may recover from it by the grace of God, but the scars of it are there in their minds.
It is hard especially that both of us are young, you are beautiful, and is close emotionally and physically, our relationship is approved by both our parents, all around us had sex in gestures, in language, in jokes, and many give us the motive that they want us, is a temptation to gratify the fleshly desires which are inherent in our human body. We have the greatest tendency to fall, but others have done it, many have succeeded, we also can, by God's grace.
Yes, I feel horny at times when I'm with you. I fight it with my respect for you. I admit there were times I am tempted to go beyond, but I think, we are near our marriage, let's hold on for a little while, we can have what we want physically, unlimited joy with you.
Thanks for our love, it is God's gift to us.
Love you,
Juan
Juan sends this to her email.
Jacky replied to the email.
Dear Juan,
Sorry for sometimes I tease you when I am with you. I sometimes also admit I wish you will kiss me longer not like your usual kiss in my forehead. But I know there will be a time for that.
Sometimes I am tempted to let you see my body, but I know you will have me whole when we are married.
Love is not based on physical attractions alone we may lose it when we get old, it is in our commitment to love as husband and wife when we are already there.
Thank you for you, our parents who taught us to be strong, to be a person of character that can control and discipline our bodies of instincts and lust. Especially to God whom we trust.
Yes, I am willing to wait for a little while, we will walk that center aisle to promise to God and everybody that we will love, respect, and support each other, in richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, till death do us part.
Loves you always,
Jacky