章 12: Chapter 12: Mari's Story
Meanwhile, Mari tried everything to push Joy away from herself but her grip only tightened, irritating Mari more.
"Joy... I'm getting tired.... Stay away from me...."
"Tell me everything, Mari I'll listen. Please..."
"No... No.. Nothing's wrong..." Mari cried. "Why do you keep on insisting that something is wrong with me, when I am telling you not to worry?"
"Because... I know you, and.." Joy replied and held the right arm of Mari which were full of cuts while she tried to hide them. "I saw that before and it gave me a hint that you needed help, but I was so afraid. I wanted to save you but I don't know what to do because I can't even save myself."
"Y-you have it too..." Mari said and held Joy's hands. "Why did you not tell me?"
"You are already fighting your own battles Mari... You are already having a hard time dealing with your life. You know what? People who listen to other people's sadness becomes a pillow- they absorb everything. But I am willing to absorb all of your sadness so nothing will be left for you to cry for. I am more than willing to take that pain out of your very soul so you could forget about its existence. I want you to be happy. I want us to be happy together... " Joy replied, who was smiling as she cried. Mari hugged her tight and cried a river. "You are one of the reasons why I want to fight everyday... So please.. Mari..."
Mari fell on her knees and Joy after her. Their hands were still intact to each other and they shared the same shivers because of something that hurt the both of them.
"I... I was raped when I was just a freaking 7 year-old by my cousin... I never told anyone about this because my grandmother is the only person I had, and I can never tell her such heartbreaking news. She's already broken now and I don't want to break her any longer.
"I feel like drowning at my own agonies- the worries that I have - they had always clouded all my thoughts and the pain inside of me is just so indescribable that I just wanted to fade away and die.
" There are times that I wanted to die, but I wanted to live long so I can have more time with the people I loved- Nick- and you, and now Light as well. But... The emptiness I feel inside is just so strong that sometimes I lose grip on my faith of ever wanting to be alive.
"It's so dark inside me and it's too painful that I can no longer bear it. No amount of cuts can ever be able to beat the pain inside my head. Some people who doesn't have cuts asked me why and I hated them when they did that because I was trying to forget the pain inside me that is feeding of my life by trying to inflict a greater pain in my body but nothing worked out. The pain in my heart was stronger than anyone could ever imagine.
"I know that Nick deserves more than he gets from me- I haven't even told him how I feel about him because I am afraid on how he will be able to take the fact that I'm not pure anymore....I'm not the way this fuckin' society wanted me to be. Fuck their standards. I love Nick and I am so afraid to lose him, but everything is just so ridiculous to me because I don't even love myself but I proclaim my love for other people.
"Everytime I looked into the mirror, I don't recognize the person I see. She had a very different aura- she was too happy, while I was trapped inside, crying, pleading for help. I felt like I'm in a casket because I am myself.
" But what hurts me most is that I can't forgive the person who violated me because I am so angry. Joy do you get me? I AM SO ANGRY! I always feel that no one'll be able to accept me because of my horrible past as a kid and I am afraid of the possibility of having the people I love to abandon me. I'm sorry I did not share this with you. I can't find words to even describe the empitness I feel inside.. I'm sorry Joy. I'm so sorry.... " Mari and Joy cried together.
"You've fought hard... Good job. To see you here, still standing strong despite of all the pain that this world has given you makes me so proud. You needn't be afraid because all of us who love you loves you unconditionally and we will acce-" Joy said, but Mari interupted her with a loud wail. "Did I do something wrong?"
"I just wanted to hear someone tell me that! Whatever you say Joy. I'll believe it and I will hold on to it. I swear I'll heal with you so we can spend more time together!" She screamed and showed Joy her arms which were full of cuts. "These are my battle scars. I have realized that there is nothing wrong about them because they are my testemony that I am strong- that there is nothing that can bring me dow-"
It was then that Light, who had been closely listening with Nick knew that Joy- nay- Hope had fully accepted the mission she was given. All that's left is finding the right words to say. He closed his eyes and concentrated on the image he imagined- which is him, standing at the back of Hope.
"You've done well, Hope." He whispered at her ear and it seemed to have made her hair stand.
"Where are you?" Joy, who, in an instant recognized the voice asked as she looked around, still holding the now happy Mari.
"Doesn't matter. The clock on my necklace has disappeared, meaning that she had decided to live longer. All you have to do now is to know your own chant." he said while Joy seemed to be astound about the fact that she was talking to him through telepathy.
" How do I do that, and how can you do this? " Joy asked, still perplexed.
" Focus."
"Yeah. Sorry about that."
"You have to concentrate. Dig down deep into your heart as you think about how badly you wanted to save the person in front of you, and you will know." Light instructed.
"How am I supposed to do that?" Joy asked, confused on who she should listen to [Light or Mari].
"You'll find out yourself." Light said, and opened his eyes, seeing Nick with a relaxed stance.
"You were right about trusting Hope with Mari." Nick, who had heard everything said, and immediately realized what he had called Hope.
"It's okay. Hope's her name." Light said, easing him up. "How do you feel?"
"I think it was foolish of her to think that I'd leave her because of something she wasn't even in control of. My love for her is stronger than that of her horrible past- because I accept her with all my heart, my tranquil soul, my gorgeous bod-"
Light approached him and gave him a faint punch on his chest. 'Sadness like this will be easy for me to take. He doesnt have an inch of any thought of suicide'. A constant stream of coolness and ease wrapped the body of Nick, and it travelled from where Light touched to every part of his body.
"The girls... Haven't drank yet." Light told the amazed Nick, who was trying to look at his chest. He looked at Light happily and smiled.
"Thanks bro. Come downstairs. Let's go get them drinks." Nick said and left with Light who looked back at the door of the rooftop, where the two were situated.
"Now I know she loves me." Nick whispered and ran fast while he held Light's arms.
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LoreleiSerenata
LoreleiSerenata Hello everyone~ Lorelei here. If you are still reading my story despite it being an obvious novice work, thank you very much. To be honest, I have already published an unfinished version of this in wattpad and my audience there was very limited that only one person was to be considered an active reader. I hope you'd leave a comment in my work because I'd really appreciate that and it would make me happy and so I can improve more and give you better stories. I'll be looking forward to see them!
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