章 38: Anguish (Flashback P. II)
"Make me your Aphrodite
Make me your one and only
But don't make me your enemy, your enemy, your enemy"
-Dark horse lyrics by Katy Perry
ELLE
The man who promised me to offer his world and everything just to make me happy is the person who left me in the middle of the shore.
"T-TANDAAN N-NIYO!! K-KAHIT SAANG IMPYERNO KAYO P-PUPUNTA, P-PUPUNTAHAN KO KAYO!" I screamed as I started to feel the weigh of my feet and the big waves has been taking me away, farther.
Suddenly, I felt cramps on my stomach. It was very painful for me to bear..
'No baby! No don't leave, Mommy!' I said to myself..
I will live. I need to live. My life should not end this way.
I tried to swim but I failed.
A huge wave has taken me and buried me under.. Until everything is black.
--
I heard an angel's singing... Then it started to laugh.. Those tiny voices and little giggles make me smile widely.
This angel has been staring at me for a while now..
"What is your name?" I asked the angel. But then he smiled at me.. "Do you want to play?" I added. His smile gone wider.. He started to walk away. I look around me, there's no one, makes me wonder where am I.
I see white everywhere I go.. I just followed this little angel. Uncertain of where will it take me.
"Where are you going?" I asked him once again. This time, he stopped from walking.
"This is the place where I lived. I just came here awhile ago." He finally spoke. "What is your name?" I repeated my question a while ago.
But he just shrugged his shoulders. "My mommy didn't give me any name yet.." He said as he sat down on the grass looking downhearted.
I don't know why, but I felt pain in me. "Would it be okay, if I'll give you a name?" I asked him while smiling.
His face turned bright again and nodded continuously..
I sat beside him. "From now on, you'll be called, Kiel.. Kiel Lavender." I said to him. He then hugged me and unknowingly, tears fell down on my face. I hugged this little angel back.
Suddenly, the little angel slowly fades until he disappeared already.
The quiet place turned into a messy and huge waves.. I found myself running asking for help. While running, I saw the little angel being trapped in a hutch.
I tried to save him but it's too late. I saw with my two eyes how the giant waves bury him alive.
"NOOOOOOO!!!!" I cried..
--
I could feel the warmth in my skin.
I slowly opened my eyes.. I see blurriness.
I let my eyes adjust from its blurriness.
And there I saw nothing but the ceiling..
"C-crop! Where am I?" I uttered.. But then, realization hit me.. "M-my b-baby! M-my baby! I-is he alright?!" I yelled panicky.
The door opened at pumasok ang mga nurses at may kasama silang doktor.
"Please calm down, Miss. Baka mabinat ka." Sabi ng doctor pero hindi yun ang importante.
"Doc, how's my baby? He's still inside of my womb, right?" I asked him. "Please say yes, Doctor. Please say yes." I almost pleaded. I saw him shaking his head. Tears began to fall from my eyes.
"I'm sorry. But we lost your child.." The doctor said. Hindi agad nag-sink in saakin ang sinabi niya.
"I'm sorry, but I didn't understand what you're saying.." I saw him sighed.
"Before we tried to revive you, wala nang pulse ang baby mo sa tiyan. We can't do anything to revive him but to take him away from your womb as soon as possible.. I'm sorry, I know it's hard and painful but you're baby is an angel now." Sabi niya.
Angel..
Biglang sumagi sa utak ko ang napanaginipan ko..
The angelic face and voice, those giggles and laughters.. They're now a beautiful memories to me..
'Kiel Lavender.' Bigla kong naalalang sinabi ko sa anghel na iyon.
"I need to be alone." Cold kong sabi sa kanila. Lumabas naman sila at pagkasara nang pinto ay humagulgol ako sa pag-iyak.
Ang bigat ng pakiramdam ko.
I failed in my marriage and now, I lost my child.
What's left for me?
Inabot ako ng 10 minuto na umiiyak. Hanggang sa may naisip ako.
I can't stay here feeling weak. I'll let them pay for what they did to me and to my baby!
Umupo ako sa gilid ng kama at tinanggal ang dextrose na nakainject sa kamay ko.
I sneaked out in the window making sure that I won't create any mess neither sounds..
Mabuti na lamang at nasa familiar na lugar pa ako. Malapit lang pala to sa shore na kung saan ako iniwan nila Ally.
Nagpara ako ng taxi at tinuro kung saan ako bababa.
Nakarating ako sa company namin. I saw my Papa standing outside the company's main entrance making me wonder bakit nakatayo lang siya dyan at hindi pumapasok sa loob?
Lalabas na sana ako ng taxi para lapitan si Papa kaya lang ay napatigil ako sa sunod na nangyari..
Tinapon ang lahat ng gamit ni Papa from his office.. Nakayukong binitbit ito ni Papa at sumakay sa kanyang kotse at umalis na. Nagtataka ako kung anong nangyayari.
Kaya lang lalong nag-init ang ulo ko nang makita ko si Ally.. She's lauging evilly dahil sa nangyari kay Papa. I am very sure, kagagawan niya din to. Not my family, please. Not my family. I clenched my fist.
"It's your fault, again. Humanda ka saakin Ally. I'll make you pay for this." Sabi ko. Saka kami umalis ng company..
I was so lost, broke and pained.
Bumaba ako sa taxi at naglakad sa may bridge..
"Miss are you okay? Gusto mo dalhin kita sa ospital?" A woman mumbled. Hindi ko siya sinagot bagkus ay dire-diretso lang ako nagtungo sa may tulay.
Pagkarating ko sa tulay ay hinaplos ko ang mga ito.
"OMG! Galing siyang ospital! Can somebody call the ambulance! Magpapakamatay siya!" Rinig kong sabi ng isang babae.
Magpapakamatay? Sounds great.
My leg tried to reach bridge.. Lalong lumakas ang sigaw ng mga tao.
What's the use of living if they took my life?
Pumikit ako dinama ang bawat sandali.
"My little angel, magsasama na tayo. Wait for mommy." I whispered. I was about to jump off the bridge nang biglang may humila saakin.
"Let go off me." I said emotionless. "Are you crazy?! Magpapakamatay ka dahil sa mga taong sumira sa buhay mo?! Seriously?!" Galit niyang sigaw saakin.
Tumingin ako sa kanya.
"Who are you to say those things to me?!" Madiing sabi ko sa kanya.
"I saved your life." Sabi niya, tumaas ang kilay ko sa sinabi niya. "Nakita kita sa may dalampasigan. I tried to revive you and luckily, nagrespond ka." Sabi niya saakin.
"But not my baby." He looked at me puzzled and then giving me those pitiful stare.
"Let go. I want to be with my baby." Sabi ko.
"No! I saved you, and hindi ko hahayaang tatapusin mo ang buhay mo sa ganito lang!" He insisted and carry me like a sack of rice para makasigurado siyang hindi makakatalon sa tulay.
Tila uminit ang umapoy sa loob ko sa ginawa niya.
"YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED?! I ALMOST GOT DROWNED AND YOU SAVED ME! BUT GUESS WHAT? I'VE LOST MY BABY, MY LIFE! NOW WHAT'S THE USE OF LIVING IN THIS WORLD IF I ALREADY LOST MY LIFE?!!" Umiiyak kong sigaw sa kanya. Binaba niya ako kaya I took the opportunity para hampasin siya sa kanyang dibdib.
"Sana hinayaan mo na akong mamatay. They took everything to me. My baby, my marriage, and now my Dad's company, everything.." Humagulgol ako.
"I'm so hopeless. Gusto kong manakit, maghiganti sa ginawa nila but what's the point of revenge if they already won?" Nananatiling nakatingin siya saakin. Tila nakikinig sa bawat salitang lumalabas sa bibig ko.
"So please just let me do this." Sabi ko at nagsimula na ulit na maglakad patungo sa edge ng tulay.
Rinig kong muling nagsigawan ang mga tao. Hindi nagtagal ay naramdaman ko na tila bang may mga kamay ang dumampi sa balat ko.
"Do you really want to do this?" Sabi niya. Tumango ako. "Then go ahead. Do whatever you want with your life. Jump." Sabi niya.
I heard the crowd hissed, objected and got mad at this guy maybe for letting me do what I want.
"Gusto mong tapusin na ang buhay mo dahil sa sobrang sakit na nararamdaman mo hindi ba? Then go. Tumalon ka na. Pero bago ka tumalon, let me say these things to you." Sabi niya. Tinignan niya ako sa mata. Seryosong titig.
"Hahayaan mo bang maging miserable nang tuluyan ang buhay mo dahil sa ginawa ng mga taong yun? Hahayaan mo ba silang tuluyang sumaya at ikaw ay gagawa ng isang bagay na ikasasaya pa nila? They tried to kill you once, and hindi pa nila alam if tuluyan ka na ba talagang namatay, pero sigurado ka bang okay lang sayo na ganito ang mangyayari?" Sabi niya. I must admit, it hit me.
"Hindi pa tapos ang laban, you still have the chance to have the revenge you'd want. But now, please let me help you.. I'll help you overcome this, I promise." And then he wept my tears na hindi ko napapansin tumutulo na pala.
He carried me from the edge of the bridge to the road.
"But now, you need to regain your strength first. Mahinang-mahina ka pa. You can't be able to do this at your present state. Babalik ka at sisiguraduhin kong, you're more stronger and powerful to give that kind of revenge you want." And then he hug me. Nakaramdam ako ng comfort, safety at pagod ng mga oras na yun..
Pero bago pa ako lamunin ng matinding pagod at mawalan ng malay, I assured to say those words to him.
"Thank you."
--
To be continued..
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