章 7: Wave of Grief 2

MARCH 16

Boris had never heard a place so quiet and he had never seen walls and people so dull. But then again, he had never been through the death of a king and it's affect on its kingdom.

He felt out of place. Every time he would walk behind Kalmin to rooms in which he would spend hours learning the etiquettes of the kingdom, then walk back with him to his room at the end of the hallway on the first floor, in the servant's room, every time he talked to another that wasn't Kalmin, he felt out of place.

His clothes were dull, like the others he strolled past, his skin was clean and words the same as those he spoke to, but yet he felt out of place. It was emotions. He could imitate them, could lower his head in the same way they did, could talk in their quiet tones, and even put on blank faces as they did, but he could never feel what they did. He could never feel the pain of the king passing.

It made him feel even more of an outcast than he already was, made the words some called him to feel even more apparent to him. He didn't feel the same as others, he couldn't empathize with them and even those he understood why things were like this, he could never make himself feel it too.

It had been a week. A week since the kingdom lost its king, since he entered the palace, a week of the kingdom mourning its king, and a week since Dominic had spoken to another that wasn't himself, Boris or Kalmin.

It was a depressing week. It different than what Boris expected, it was worlds different from what he had expected.

The walls held painting that was as luxurious as he remembered, but they were now covered, there were walls of white and gold but also walls stained with blood that had either hadn't been removed or hadn't been painted over. He was dressed in clothing better than his last but they just felt like clothing, not some object that created some supernatural aura around a being. He was eating food that was much more delicious than his last but they tasted like food, not some royalty item that would sell for hundreds in the market.

It was like every expectation he had and had grown up with were slowly crumbling, including the thoughts that all that lived in the palace were freaks and beasts. He had yet to see a servant be punished for simply punishment and had yet to see fighting amongst maids or a single noble that hadn't gone out of their way to make another feel pathetic.

That didn't mean he didn't get looks from others, as he was a scrap that was picked off the streets, but it didn't mean that he started to like the people in the palace but rather that he found them tolerable. If at any chance to leave appears, he'd be the first out the door.

Today had been the same thing. Forced to go study and walking down quiet halls past quiet people that occasionally broke into sobs about a man he didn't know or respect.

It was weird. He felt like a heartless monster, the exact way people of the castle should feel like.

"Serve Dominic," Kalmin ordered.

"I'm sorry, what?" Boris cocked his head to the side.

"I need you to serve him today," Kalmin restated to which Boris didn't reply.

Kalmin cocked his head to the side and Boris groaned. This was what he hated. When the fact that he was being groomed, or taught in Kalmin's words, started to restrict his normal actions. Like how he liked to remain silent about things he'd rather not even comment on or weren't worth his time. He couldn't do that now.

Kalmin had said until the people in the kingdom accepted his presence, but Boris didn't need to hear it twice. He knew he was being prohibited from ignoring another.

"Why?" Boris asked.

"Because today he is meeting his fiance," Kalmin replied.

"And how is that any of my business?" Boris replied.

"Don't be rude,"

"Don't include me in activities in which I am generally not needed or don't want to be in,"

"Sounds like a you issue. Whether or not you think you need to be in the issue is my thoughts to figure out, not yours. Do not forget who you are in these walls. A few new pieces of clothing and meals won't change your title or level here, you have no right to speak up to me."

"Quite well educated on that,"

"Then act like it," Kalmin smiled. It was fake. Every smile he shot at Boris was always fake.

Boris' lips pressed against each other as they continued down the hallway. This was where he had to stay quiet, this was where his thoughts of how much he wanted to leave would foster. 'I hate this, I hate this,' he would repeat in his head to keep him sane. He hated how he was being taught, like a dog, and hated the one teaching him, Kalmin.

'Kalmin...' Boris thought to himself. A selfish, always business orientated and hated to share emotions, beast of a human. That was how he thought of him. He hated the eloquent ways Kalmin would speak and the ways he managed to sneak in insults like he wouldn't understand them. He hated his stride, quick and medium-sized, and the way he always did things in a way that was straight-forward and quick to the chase.

Most of all, he hated how arrogant he was.

That was ok though. It seemed like he wasn't the only one who hated the other.

"The prince needs to be calm and clear-headed when he visits his fiance or else, well, things will go downhill at a speed that might end in my head and yours on a platter," Kalmin smiled, stopping in front of a room's door and a cart of food that was already sitting there as if it was waiting for their arrival. It was.

Kalmin pulled the cart closer and grabbed Boris' hand, placing it on the cart. He looked up at Boris and smiled. "Don't mess things up for me, got it?"

Before Boris could reply, Kalmin was already walking down the halls to his next job. He hated that too about him, how he says questions that he never lets him answer.

Boris turned to the door in front of him and sucked in a deep breath, trying to channel all the nice emotions in him as he rapped his fist against the door.

"Brunch is here," Boris announced to which a mutter of 'come in' followed.

He opened the door and wheeled the cart inside. "Your highness, your brunch is here for you to eat."

"Leave it and go," Dominic replied.

The comment flowed over Boris and he continued into the room. He maneuvered past a cart of food that was parked sight as the door and opened the top. The food was still there on its plate, uneaten, untouched. He closed the lid and continued into the room, parking the cart by the table at the corner of the room, on the opposite side of the room. He stood there after setting the tray down and cleared his throat.

There, seated beside a window that looked down at the kingdom outside was Dominic, in the same place Kalmin had said he was in the morning. Not an inch from his position had he moved.

"Brunch is here," Boris called out again.

"I said, leave it and go," Dominic snapped.

"So you can leave it like the others served before this? Is it really that hard to eat the same food you have been eating for lord who knows how long?" Boris snapped.

Dominic immediately swiveled around in his chair to face Boris, anger showing on his face, "How much do I have to repeat myself to get a serva-" his words slowed to a stop when he realized who stood in front of him. "Ah... it's you."

Boris didn't bother to reply to him and he turned around and walked over to the cart and started unpacking it on the side table.

Dominic watched his actions and shook his head with a friendly smile. "Nah, it's ok, I'm not hungry."

"I doubt a royal like you knows what hungry means," Boris replied coldly. He turned to face Dominic, "Sit and eat, your highness."

Dominic chuckled, standing up from his seat, "I'm telling you, I'm fine-" his step stagger when he loses the feeling in his legs.

In a blink of an eye, Boris was already by Dominic's side, catching him before he fell. His arm was wrapped around Dominic's waist, holding him up.

"Is this what you call ok? You can't even walk," Boris snapped. He dragged Dominic over to a chair next to the side table and sat him down there.

"Thanks," Dominic smiled, nodding at Boris. He knew the smile wasn't going to be returned, but still did it. Neither was his thanks returned.

Boris stood beside the table as Dominic ate.

"Your meeting with your fiance is today," Boris informed Dominic.

"Today? I thought it was on Saturday," Dominic gasped as he picked up a cookie on the tray.

"It is Saturday," Boris replied.

Dominic paused for a moment, a small weakened smile formed on his face. "Ah... I see..."

Boris turned to Dominic and watched him eat another cookie followed by another. He faced forward, a small scoff leaving his lips.

"What is it?" Dominic asked, turning to Boris. His eyebrows raised suspiciously, "what are you laughing about, did I do something funny?"

"You're not ready," Boris spat.

"What?"

"You're not ready to see her," Boris restated, his piercing eyes looking down at Dominic. "At least not in that state."

"What do you mean I'm fi-"

"You aren't over your father's death, you've spent your entire week locked away in this room and refused to talk to anyone other than me and Kalmin," Boris continued, "you cry at night when you think no one is listening and put on fake smiles that you think can hide how much you cried or want to cry."

"Shut up," Dominic muttered, his lips trembling.

"You're not ready to even step out of this room, are you? Nonetheless marriage? You're afraid everyone will look at you with contempt, or worse not even look at you at all," Boris pressed, "You're scared of the murmurs of maids you hear outside of your door and wonder what you're talking about and most of all, scared of accepting the fact that when you step out of this room, not a single room in the house will have your father waiting for you in it."

"I said," Dominic murmured, standing up from his seat on the table. He grabbed Boris by the neck and looked up into his eyes, tears rolling down his cheeks, "SHUT UP!"

Boris flinched, his eye unable to look away from Dominic's, it was like they were stuck, fixed on him and him alone. There was something in the angry waves of the emerald in his eyes that locked onto his eyes and pulled him in. The tears that were running down his face didn't seem to stop, they continued to fall as he peered into Boris' eyes.

"Sh-shut up," Dominic muttered, his grip on Bori's collar loosening and his head lowering. he raised his fist and banged it against Boris' chest. "Shut up."

Boris looked down on Dominic's waves of golden locks, a deep sigh escaping from his lungs. "Cry," he muttered, his hands raising to pat Dominic on the back. "Cry it out."

Dominic sniffled wiping his tears immediately. "No... No, I'm fine." He looked up at Boris and gave a reassuring smile. "See?"

Boris locked eyes with Dominic, sending a shiver down his spine as he gazed into his eyes. "I don't believe it."

Dominic's lips trembled and his head dropped, his eyes looking at the ground. "Ha... really? What do I do for you to believe me? What should I do to be-"

"Cry it out," Boris repeated, his hand patting Dominic on the back. "Cry it out for me."

Dominic trembled, his throat chocked up as his eyes filled with water again.

"Cry it out for him."

Like that, he was reduced to tears. A river came flowing out his eyes and he cried out the emotions he was trying to bottle inside. His legs grew weak and his head rested against Boris' body. He raised his shaky hands to Boris' sides, hesitating at first before grabbing onto his shirt. That was where he felt it all come rushing out. The nights of crying that never seemed to heal anything, the hours of watching that never seemed to calm anything. This moment, this scene, and the person he was holding. That was what healed, that was the reassurance he wanted.

The comfort he needed.

Boris continued to pat Dominic's back while he bawled to his content. 'Dominic,' Boris thought to himself, 'Dominic Aarvi...'

He was the royal he hated the most but also the royal he pitied the most. He didn't know what he was doing and certainly didn't know why he was comforting him but at this moment, there was something else he felt. It was warm, and it stung.

He felt it. It was just a touch, just the tiniest dose of it but he could feel it vividly as he held Dominic. He felt what the one he was comforting felt, he felt the twinge of pain strike his heart. He felt the pain Dominic felt when he lost his father, and the pain the kingdom felt when they lost their king.

Just a little.