章 2: Chapter 2
A scientist walks into the frame of the studio.
"As you've probably heard by now, alien dinosaurs have taken over most of Asia. I think it's high time you got yourself a laser rocket. LASER ROCKET!"
End commercial.
This was proceeded by the loudest facepalm in history – if it was heard to be recorded.
Of course, facepalming yourself at the speed of sound is bound to do that.
Thank God I was in an abandoned warehouse when I saw the commercial that was giving every major news station in America headaches and front page material.
The Daily Planet and CatCo Worldwide Media included.
"I'll give you this Gideon - at least Dan Cummins is a good choice for a comedian to be inspired by."
I would later find out that said comedian was nearly sued for inspiring what would later become one of the greatest digital pranks in history.
As to why I was in a warehouse?
After finishing the search program, I needed to come up with something to do while Joe waited for me to finish writing the program 'on time.'
Again, thank you super-speed.
As such, I decided to work on my newly acquired powers in privacy and to test out the suit I pilfered.
Thankfully, I managed to track down extra material with Gideon's help that Cisco left over in the labs.
Getting them form fitting to my feet - much more difficult.
Modifying the mask – not so much.
Setting up a wireless connection to Gideon through the mask a la video game Cortana style – priceless.
Yes, Halo is real here too.
Should really start making a list.
Seriously, costume design is actually much harder then one realizes. No wonder Superman used to wear red underwear on the outside or that Batman spend millions designing his suit.
BTW, this Superman doesn't – he looks like the Superman from the 'new' 52 comic timeline. So no red underwear but thankfully, he appears to be like the animated version personality wise.
Granted, a little too trusting and actively looking for the good in people, but that's his shtick.
Speaking of which.
Made a few searches and article readings that let me pin down where I was time-wise in this universe.
Superman has just dealt with Toyman, which means if my memory was correct, he would be dealing with Parasite and Metallo soon enough.
This oddly works since in the second season of the cartoon, he and the Flash raced around the world while dealing with the Weather Wizard. Ironically, this would work since it would probably happen in a year or so. Not sure how cartoon time works, but it makes sense since Mark Mardon shows up fifteen episodes into the first season of the Flash show, which is more than eight months from now.
Scared me a little when I found out that this version of Toyman still fathered Winn Schott, but somehow, ended more deranged than his 'Supergirl' counterpart.
Don't know what his story is since it's probably not what was portrayed in the cartoon, but it's possible that Mannheim may have killed his wife, causing his downward spiral and estranging his son.
At least Supergirl will get her friend in National City if she doesn't decide to go to the future with Brainiac-5 and date Jimmy Olsen.
He's white in this reality by the way.
It's not a race-thing, just figured I should point it out.
Also, how the hell were the two ever attracted to each other on the show?
Also, which version of Livewire will appear here: the cartoon one or the one created by Cat Grant? My money is on the cartoon one.
Oddly enough, this version of Supergirl was the same as in the show: landed on Earth as a child, found by Superman, and still adopted by the Danvers as a cover.
No Fort Rozz though. Either it's still in the Phantom Zone, or it just didn't happen. Meaning that those two annoying Kryptonians are still going to pop up in the future, but at least this time Kara will inform her cousin who they really are.
I wonder if Superman still decides to visit his homeworld? He only found Kara because he decided to check her frozen planet.
Seeing Krypto would be nice.
Having a super puppy could be a trend.
Just think – Flash the Wonder Dog.
This is so convoluted it's not even funny. Plus, Gideon's deadpanned delivery doesn't help when I ask these questions.
I get that two completely different realities are trying to mesh here somehow, but at this rate, my 'foresight' is going to be utterly useless in due time.
That's not even considering the possibility of there being something else in the mix as well.
The Department of Extra-Normal Operation (D.E.O) is around as well. While the possible arrival of Superman as a baby may have been a factor, some smaller division of the agency existed ever since the Dominator arrived back in 1951.
Gideon wouldn't tell me anymore, but at least the Legends exist in this reality.
I think…
It gets really convoluted when you start considering the relationship between Booster Gold and Rip Hunter and all that jazz that the show couldn't get to, but I try not to consider the ramifications of this.
Still, very confusing to me. I think I should start taking a 'don't think about it' policy with the anachronisms I keep stumbling into.
Are they real anachronisms though? Is Rip going to appear one day and undoe all my work?
Doubt it – we all have other things to worry about.
Like the fact that this reality has the fat Amanda Waller.
Yay?
At least Lyla will get leadership of A.R.G.U.S without Waller dying when she is ordered to take charge of Project Cadmus by the U.S. government in the future.
Which, again, works timeline wise - two years from now if I am being generous.
Back to Batman.
Unfortunately, my timeline estimation was a little off for the Dark Knight. Turns out, most of the crap his Rogue Gallery gets away with is kept 'in-house,' meaning out of the national press – publicity reasons probably.
Note the 'most' phrase though.
Joker always makes national news, which is why when I read the story regarding Cameron Kaiser's 'Joker's Wild' casino, I nearly did a spit-take.
This meant that at this point in time, all of the Batman's villains have made an appearance. Hell, the royal Count Vertigo and Talia should be making an appearance soon!
Yes, that Talia.
Guess Ra's is playing the long game here: Bruce through Talia and Oliver through Nyssa.
I REALLY don't want to get involved in that dog-pile of bizarre and crazy. I'll leave the universe into settling that out.
Figuring out the Black Canary angle gave me a migraine.
I even made sure not to inquire if Talia managed to drug Bruce and sire Damian.
Damn that child was terrifying.
And eww.
I've really gotten off topic: I came to the warehouse to practice, not ponder what will happen in the future.
I finished putting on my suit as I tallied up the rum and protein bars I pilfered from food storages around the city.
I wasn't made of money, and unfortunately, Gideon won't give up the food formula Cisco made to help with the caloric intake.
Damn you, hyper-metabolism!
Why protein bars and rum? While I should probably consume foods rich in carbs and/or calories, I figured that even with my bizarre biology, the extra protein will help me build at least some semblance of muscle tone.
The rum was a 'eureka' moment on my part. I knew how crappy energy drinks were in reality and when I recalled that alcohol no longer effects me – DAMN IT! – rum suddenly became an excellent alternative.
Without the negative side effects, rum is rich in sugars and calories. Seriously, look up the number of calories of one shot of cognac, it's terrifying. And rum was made from sugar, so it is even worse on the matter of getting the drinker drunk – for others.
For me, it's the equivalent of a non-caffeinated pick me up.
Wonder if it makes me an alcoholic?
Who cares.
After suiting up, I pulled out the checklist I wrote down beforehand for the powers I recalled the Flashes had in the comics.
Let's start with the expected powers.
Super-speed? Check. Don't know how fast I can go as of yet, but I haven't really been trying in order to avoid catching Eobard's attention. As far I could figure, I've been running just below the fresh-hold of achieving a sonic boom.
How I knew this was beyond me – I am chalking it up to the Speed Force giving me an internal speedometer.
I crossed off agility and reflexes while I was at it. I may not be reacting to things at say an attosecond, but I am still the fastest being on the planet.
Space is a different matter though; no way I can move at speed on the level of light or faster.
Ironically, I actually did the math for the town evacuation feat I recalled earlier.
To save and carry over half a million people 35 miles away from a nuclear warhead that had already detonated including the ones at ground zero in only .0001 microseconds (10 picoseconds, or 1/100,000,000,000th of 1 second) would require moving 13 trillion times the speed of light.
Considering that said Flash managed to outrun DEATH to the ends of time and space at one point, this feat looks like small potatoes.
Still, excellent guidepost to achieve. Not anytime soon, but a decade from now? Plausible, but unlikely.
Stamina? Large, even disregarding the skewed calorie-to-energy curve, but still a possible weakness. Nothing I can do about it for now. Maybe I can tap into the Speed Force in the future to put less strain on my metabolism, but it's still an exploitable weakness.
Also skipped Speed Force Aura since I knew that I had it since I haven't destroyed anything in my path when running.
I've seen what wind turbines do to things not pinned to the ground. Me running through the city would do the same thing if it weren't for the protective aura of the Speed Force.
I put a note seeing if I can will it to turn off at times to use against enemies.
I did put a footnote to see if I can give it to others like with Flash Time and pass on my speed, but even I knew that Speed Transfer was a Ph.D. level technique, up there with Time Travel and Dimension Travel.
Pause.
Wrote down to try to find the Marvel Universe and see if I can pilfer some vibranium from them. Not like they have anyone who can follow me.
[Deadpool looked up from his un-aliving people business, sensing a disturbance in the force.]
Durability? Undoubtedly higher than in the source material with the Mirakuru in my system. Don't want to test it, but still, I'm pretty sure I can take a car collision without issues.
Or a punch from a low-tier super-strength user. Either or.
On that note, I wrote down a reminder for myself to analyze the substance and see if I can recreate it. As far as I was concerned, this stuff was the DC version of the Super Soldier Serum, and that thing was worth its weight in gold in the Marvel Universe.
Plus, Batman with super-strength could be interesting.
It would be worth losing half my stash to experimentation.
Back to the list.
Accelerated healing? CHECK, despite the scar on my arm.
Enhanced mental process? Oh hell yes. I may not have an eidetic memory like Impulse, but my short-term memory has been improved to astronomical levels. Given enough time and effort, I can probably transition that info into long-term. So while I can't run into any library and memorize everything in one sitting, I can probably do it in five or so.
Wonder if I can beat Batman's number of diplomas under fake names? He had over twenty or such. Don't think he ever went for Ph. Ds but I know he had Master Degrees in various subjects.
I'll ask Gideon later.
Enhanced Senses? Not really. I mean, I can see the world faster, but I think that's more due to brain processing than actual enhancement. The Mirakuru did enhance my sight a little if I was being honest, but I wouldn't call it super-human. Taste, smell, and hearing are still the same, I think. My equilibrium has gotten better, but I think that's tied to Speed Force.
Time Travel? Leaving that the hell alone – no way in hell am I recreating Flashpoint.
Dimensional Travel? Same, but for different reasons. Don't want to accidentally get stuck in the Speed Force. I doubt the beings there will be happy with some shmoe hijacking their expected champion, even if a power above them was involved.
Still finding a way to get to the Marvel Universe.
Now for the last three: Electrokinesis, Aerokinesis, and Molecular Vibration.
If Time and Dimensional Travel are Doctorates, the trifecta are Master degrees.
Cranking my neck, I decided to try out the easier of the three. Looking at my hand, I started making small circular motions pointing away from me. Almost immediately, a small funnel formed. Surprised at the ease, I added more speed to the rotation, giving it more strength, actually pushing away the crate I was pointing at with force due to the sudden speed change.
Surprised, I tried spinning the other way, creating a vacuum effect instead.
Weird.
Remembering a famous movie moment, I pointed both hands down and created twin tornadoes.
As expected, I hit the ceiling and crashed down… Damn you gravity.
Iron Man made it look so easy.
Took me an hour – and more alcohol then I care to admit – before I reached some degree of flight.
A neat trick to have in the back pocket.
Next was phasing.
Turns out, vibrating your very being burns A LOT of calories. How the hell was Barry not accidentally considered an anorexic bastard with how much he ate in the show is terrifying in hindsight.
Still, same with wind control: with enough time and effort, I managed to figure out how to phase through wood, stone, and certain types of metal, even while running.
Don't expect me to figure out the frequency of the more exotic metals and I don't plan to practice on cadavers any time soon. As far as I am concerned, heart removal is strictly an Indiana Jones thing.
The relative ease of acquiring a degree of usage for both techniques in one day – even with phone call interruptions and food breaks – sets off too many warning bells in my mind.
I may not have read the comics extensively, but they always made it seems it took that Barry months to use these techniques. Maybe it's because I was aware of them already? The Barry in the show did achieve phasing in a day or so when 'Wells' told him about it, but he probably had enough speed training to achieve it.
Speaking of speed…
If I pull off the hat trick, I am putting this entire endeavor to my enhanced body allowing me to pull off said techniques.
Still surprised me when I managed to throw lightning after making a few hundred circles.
Couldn't help my smile when I blew up the crate.
Forming wind and lightning balls came next.
LIGHTNING GRENADES! CONCUSSION BLASTS!
I guess since I had the basics, all that was left was to master them.
Noted that running in circles to make lightning was unnecessary since it was more about connecting to the energy itself rather than building up a charge.
Interesting.
Hopefully, I'll figure out how to run ON AIR in a few months. I know that it's supposed to be a mixture of vibrating with the frequency of air or something and super-speed… I'll figure it out.
Now for the powers displayed by other Speedsters.
Speed Force Conduit? In the comics it was Wally West, but since I doubt it him in this reality. Can't really test it, but I can probably confirm it when I figure out the speed-baton pass-off trick. In any case, if source material I generate the Speed Force with every step I take, then steps I shall take.
Super Strength? Flash has been shown to carry multiple people on his person in the cartoon, so I'm definitely above normal strength, so… 800 lb? The number is undoubtedly higher in my case. I also think Jai West could accelerate the growth of his muscles to give himself super-strength, but I don't have enough understanding biology to pull this trick off.
Left a footnote to read up on anatomy just in case.
Wally West had some unusual abilities, but that was more due to his unique nature as a conduit.
Decelerated aging? Not an issue until I get a loved one to settle down with. And ain't that going to be a topic of interest.
Energy construction? Now, while creating and repairing the Flash costume through sheer concentration and usage of the Speed Force seems convenient, it reads too much like something a Green Lantern would do. Plus, if the ability is so useful, why wasn't it used more often? Unless testing proves otherwise, I am going to write it off as more intensive than necessary. I'll stick to the real suit for now.
I like the Flash ring concept in any case.
I think Eobard has one somewhere.
Intangibility? Should have really remembered that when I was writing about phasing. The trick is phasing everything but the soles of the feet, so that gravity won't pull me down into the crust,
That "Batman Beyond" journalist serves as a horrifying example.
Exclusive interview with the center of the Earth my ass.
Infinite Mass Punch? I'll work my way up there. For now, REALLY fast punches are good enough.
Self-sustenance? Not likely if my hunger pains are anything to go by and I am not stupid enough to get pulled into an open airlock in space.
Speed Force Stealing and Lending? DEFINITELY something to work with. Stealing the speed and/or momentum from anything and anyone in my vicinity is too useful not to utilize. Look what the Turtle was able to do with it.
I want to see villains try to run away yet get frozen stiff by my very presence. Wonder if they build up potential energy like with the Turtle?
In any case, that is definitely the next thing I'm figuring out. It's practically the tier above Flash Time.
I sound suspiciously like a villain just now…
Better backpaddle the megalomania.
Where was I? Right, Flashs.
Barry Allen of Prime Earth had one or two things only he could do… I think.
Light Projection?... Still useful if I am bound and need a distraction.
Speed Force Negation? Absorption I already wrote down, but negation? While not something I doubt that will come up, having this little skill around Eobard would be damn handy. How to pull it off though…
Immunity to Mind Control and Influence? Granted, a mind that operates on speeds incomprehensible to telepaths and such makes sense, but I can't really confirm it.
Not unless I plan to look for Grodd.
Speaking of which, I can only assume that Gorilla City is a thing here. But how does Wells connect to General Eiling then? They only met because of the enhanced gene therapy experiments.
Who else uses Speed Force?
Oh, I forgot Godspeed!
Say what you will, but that bastards Speed Clones were damn convenient. Seeing as how I will definitely fall under suspicion of being the Flash, having this little ace will definitely throw a wrench in Eobard's plans.
Should remember to tell Gideon to take a picture of his face when he sees the Flash and me shaking hands or something of the like.
Speaking of which…
Does the Negative Speed Force exist in this reality?
In the show, Reverse-Flash seemed to have a connection to the Speed Force, but in the comics, it was to its polar opposite counterpart.
While it was more destructive, it gave him more… aggressive applications of speed manipulation. His Shockwave Punches and Death Touch coming to mind.
Shockwave was simple enough to duplicate – punching the air with an accelerated fist and causing the force to transfer through the vibration of air particles… somehow.
Death Touch… yeah, not even going to bother practicing that one.
Everything else unusual about the bastard – like his cosmic awareness – could be tied down to the fact that he was a living paradox.
Huh… guess that means that bastard doesn't become dangerous until he becomes… unborn? Is that a word?
Being a paradox would explain how someone becomes connected to the Negative Speed Force.
Still, better than having access to localized chronokinesis like Professor Zoom.
Should check if Hunter Zolomon was still in the FBI in this reality. I know his Earth-2 counterpart showed Snow that he wasn't, but I'm not taking any chances.
Who knows what having access to such power would do? Facing an ordinary speedster is hard enough; facing someone who controls TIME is outside my knowledge base.
I stopped, realizing that I was pacing at super speed back and forth for so long that I actually left an indentation in the ground.
"Speedster… Could it work…?"
Seeing as how I was already a speedster, me saying it shouldn't cause any issues.
"3x2(9YZ)4A."
I actually felt something… clicking in my mind…
I looked around, but nothing seemed any different. Checked the watch on my wrist - everything still moved.
Couldn't help but shrug.
I repeated the formula and felt whatever clicked in my mind unclick.
Weird.
Still… the formula clearly works in this reality.
SWEET! I have access to the password to the Speed Force. Moving at mach speeds may seem like nothing to a real speedster, but to other heroes? It's a game changer.
Wait… if this equation works, then what about the others?
I rubbed my forehead, "How did the damn thing go? Companionship + understanding + assurance + joy + altruism ÷ respect…"
I didn't go any further. I didn't need to.
I felt a presence surround me as I started the equation and I got the message: 'Shut the hell up.'
I recited it mentally – the presence now gone – but the point was made: I knew the Life Equation.
And if I knew the Life Equation…
DING!
Yep, I know the Anti-Life Equation in all of its entirety.
Which means that Darkseid most likely exists in this reality.
Which most likely means that the White Lantern Life Entity is buried somewhere deep in the Earth.
Crap.
I wonder if this is how Mister Miracle felt every day, carrying the weight of this knowledge in his head?
Wonder if he's already hiding on the planet.
What was his name…
Ah, doesn't really matter. Besides, it's not like me getting involved with him will end in any constructive way.
My phone alarm went off, causing me to check the time: 5:58.
"Huh… dinner is coming up. I think Joe is making ribs tonight."
4 months later…
Nothing.
Nothing new happened for four months.
How the hell has nothing happened for four months?!
Thank god I managed to train myself from unconsciously using my speed or else the force I was putting into tapping on my desk would have ruined it by now.
It did the first three times in any case. Hiding finger-shaped indents is pretty damn hard.
Wasn't that odd to explain to the captain the first time.
So… guess a recap is needed.
I think 'Arrow' needs to be explained first because that particular domino effect was ridiculous.
First off, haven't told Oliver about me having super-powers.
We've kept in touch with email and whatnot, but I honestly had no good reason to tell him I had super-speed.
Yet.
Not like I didn't consider going and helping him out in any case.
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