章 6: Chapter 5
"Although he had everything his heart desired, the Prince was spoiled, selfish, and unkind."~Narrator/Enchantress (1991)
Scott
It has been over two weeks since I got "married." I can say, happily, that I hadn't seen Francesca once, since our whole incident in the library. I had thrown myself back into my work to forget all of the painful memories that she brought up about Claire, but nothing seemed to dull the ache that throbbed deep inside my chest like a never closing open wound every time I breathed. I grown used to it now though; it has been five years since...I had been with Claire and the ache has been there since.
"Spence, come over here," I say as I am looking at the security tape.
"What's up, Scott?" he asks as he gets up from his desk.
" Look right there," I say as I replay the tape. I pause the video at a certain time and point at the shred of evidence that we needed to close this case.
"Woah wait...can we use that reflection?" he asks seriously. I nod and he still looks slightly unconvinced.
" I am sure we can. In a case that my father worked on a few years back, a judge convicted a perp on a partial reflection," I said.
" Who knew that an Art of the Year Award would be our savior? Ooh...the guys at the firm are going to be shocked," Spencer says surprised.
I enhance the part of the video that I had stopped at; focusing only on the reflection that you could, sort of, see in the award. When it was finished being enhanced, you could see the killers' reflection clear as day. I quickly printed the picture, then I closed the top of my laptop and pushed away from the table.
" Spencer, call your friend at ICE, tell him to stop Mrs. Richards from getting on the plane. I'll tell the detectives on the case to go pick her up," I said and he nodded. I grabbed my cell and called Detective Rush.
When I got off the phone, I sat back down at my seat and cleaned up all the papers that I had been using to crack the case. I have watched that tape at least fifty times; I can't believe it took me this long to see that…. thinking of Claire has distracted me. I need to stop. But how can I? She was the first and only girl I ever loved, and everything that happened that day...it will forever be engraved into my memory.
" Ok, thank you," I hear Spencer say, he puts his phone down and pulls up a chair next to me.
" Well, that's another case closed. Do you want to go out for a celebratory drink?" he asks. Before I can reply, my cell phone rings. There was no caller ID, but I picked it up anyway.
"Hello, this is Mr. Jackson. How can I help you?" I asked. Spencer waits silently for me to finish my phone call.
" It's Jasper Thatch. We need to talk," Jasper said over the phone. As soon as I heard his name I am up from my seat and walking quickly towards my private study. I hear Spencer say something in the background, but at this point, I didn't care.
All the happiness and accomplishment that I had gotten from the closing of this difficult case was gone. Once again came the heart-wrenching pain that filled the seemingly uncrossable abyss in my heart. Anytime I saw the roses that used to grow outside of her shoebox apartment. Anytime I heard the song that she used to sing along to every time came on the radio. Every time that I walked passed the gallery that used to hold all of her favorite works of art. Every time I was reminded of her in any way, all I can remember is that how everything that happened was my fault and it will be my sin to carry every painstaking day till the end of my time in this godforsaken world.
Spencer
I watched as Scott pretty much ran from the room going who knows where. I guess that means a rain check on the drink...I got up from the table and gathered all my things, leaving the room relatively clean. I left the library and made my way towards the front door.
I show a kind smile and say hello to all the staff members I passed on my way and I could tell that they appreciated the greeting. I'm positive that Scott shows them no such kindness.
I was almost to the door when two ladies came up to me. They curtsied as they would to Scott then looked at me.
" Mr. Reed, Mrs. Jackson asked to see you. Would you come with us please?" the taller one asked.
I was surprised that she would want to see me; after all, I was Scott's business partner, but why question it. I had wanted to officially meet her since the day she had arrived, but Scott, with great effort, kept me from going anywhere near her and this side of the manor.
" Of course, lead the way," I said politely. They turned from me and began walking. They lead me past the ballroom, past the front door to the other side of the house. I had been told numerous times not to come over here, since this was a private side of the house and was to only be accessed by the cleaning staff, and Mrs. Jackson.
So I used my time to survey the differences that this side may have. This was the older wing of the house, so there was a different style of architecture. Not long after I was led, here did we stop. I looked up and saw a large door that probably leads to a small study or a library even. They knocked and waited for a come in.
" Come in," I heard someone say. The voice was muffled and distorted, so you could only hear the tone and pitch of the voice, not the words. But it seemed that the two women could hear what she had said.
The maids pushed the door open and held it open for me. I walked in and looked at the woman sitting behind the large oak desk. She looked familiar in some way, yet I couldn't figure out how. She looked up at me and I see the sense of deja vu in her eyes as well as it surely shown through mine. I dropped my briefcase at the door and went to sit in front of the desk. I sat in one of the two leather chairs that were there.
" So Mrs. Jackson what did you want to talk to me about?" I asked her.
" Firstly, Mr. Reed, do not call me Mrs. Jackson. Call me, Francesca, or Ms. Chase. Secondly, I need to know if you will help me with something," she stated.
" What is it you need my help with?" I asked.
" Before I tell you, I need to know are you willing to go behind Scott's back and probably lie to him daily," she began and when I nodded she continued. " I am planning a wedding and I will be throwing it here. I need you to help me cover up everything and make sure that Scott stays oblivious to the whole thing. You know him better than anyone and he trusts you, so I know that he wouldn't suspect you of anything. A few days before the wedding I will need you to get him to go away with you, anywhere. As long as it is far enough away from him to not ruin anything. Also, there will be a man coming, the groom, a week away from the wedding I will need you to make sure that Scott stays away from the back of the house and is wherever he needs to be because I will need to use Albert for the day. Are you in?" Francesca asked at the end of her tangent.
This all sounded like an entire plan that would most definitely get us caught, but Scott needs to put in his place; maybe having this whole scheme going on behind his back will knock him down a few pegs. But how will I make sure that he doesn't see anything? That doesn't matter; I will figure it out at the moment just like I always do. I can tell that without my help they wouldn't be able to do this and whoever's wedding this is will be ruined; I know how important love is to someone's life, so I couldn't dream of taking away someone else's special day. Besides, this will all be such great fun…
" I am in. I couldn't dream of ever taking away someone else's wedding day; I know that I was so excited on my wedding day and I will always remember it as the best day of life. I want to make this day happen for someone else. Why would I knock the chance to hurt Scott's ego? He regards himself as a master at figuring out when someone is lying, so it will be hard to trick him," I say with a smile.
" Are you sure you want to do this…" she pauses obviously waiting for me to tell her my first name.
" Spencer," I say. And with it, she continues.
" Spencer. You know this could end up getting us both in big trouble," she finishes.
" I am fully aware of what may happen though I don't care. I can handle Scott, I always have. I just have one question, whose wedding is it?," I said.
She gave a slight smile and stood from behind her desk. She went back out into the hallway and brought one of the ladies that lead me here into the room. To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I had gotten so used to everyone around treating their staff like they were nothing more than that. Now this woman, who grew up in the same environment that Scott had, is doing something for her that she would remember for the rest of her life. Francesca, you are one amazing woman...
The young women stood in front of me, but wouldn't meet my eyes.
" My name is Spencer. I have agreed to help make your marriage a reality. May I have the pleasure of knowing your name?" I asked. She finally met my eyes and smiled at me.
" My name is Victoria and I can't thank you enough for doing for us. This will not be an easy journey and it makes me happy to have such a kind man on our side," she said. We talked for a few more minutes about trivial wedding things that I have some understanding of until the other woman called her away to help her with something.
Francesca and I share a firm handshake and after a few good shakes, she lets go of my hand and drops her hand to her side. She leads me to the door and opens it for me. We walk out of the room together and that is when I remember how I know her.
" You were Brandon Spellings's girlfriend, weren't you?" I asked. She stopped and stood completely still with her back towards me. She pivoted on her heel, turning slowly towards me.
" Yes I was, why do you ask?" she said.
" Remember two years ago his father held that charity gala? I was there. My father expressed his interest in the gala and sent me there to check it out.
~flashback~
A girl in the stunning red dress and black and red feathered mask. Throughout the night she stood by the gala's welcoming host, Brandon Spellings. Her arm was wrapped in the crook of his arm as he shook hands with every guest that came in, paying no mind to the beauty that stood beside him loyally. Even as he complimented some of the women that came into the banquet hall.
She was one of the most beautiful girls in the room. I watched as all night everyone was captivated by her beauty yet she did not notice. Every man tried and failed to ask her to dance or buy her a drink her gaze never left her partner as she politely declined every offer. It was my job to look into the Spellings family and their corporation because they had been trying ever since my grandfather was alive to join our two firms. The Spellings firm has been on a downward spiral for the last ten years and they desperately needed a partner to share the bills with. My firm being one of the most prominent in the UK, other then the Jackson firm, we would be a pretty good choice.
I am brilliant at reading people and what kind of business partner they would be. I could tell that with every fiber of this girl's being she loves the man she stands next to. I couldn't get a clear read on Brandon's feelings though, he was well guarded.
~~~
And now you had to marry…" I said as I began to trail off. I realized that what I had said most definitely brought up some painful memories.
" Excuse me for my inquiry. I realize that it must still be difficult to try and push past this," I said politely as I searched her face for some sign of forgiveness.
" It is ok Spencer; it was nice to be reminded of the past. I had completely forgotten all about meeting you that night; you looked familiar but just couldn't place your face as well. You were quite handsome yourself that night and so charming you had all the women in the room practically drooling over you; even though you came with a date that captivated your every waking moment. I saw the way you looked at her and I knew that you loved her very much," she replied. I saw the way her face light up while she remembered that magical night.
" Yes, I love her very much. Speaking of which, I have to get home; she is probably waiting for me. It was nice seeing you again and don't worry I won't tell a soul of your little surprise," I said with a smirk.
With that I walked myself out the way I came in and when I walked out to the driveway, Albert was already waiting. I got into the car and knocked on the privacy screen. The screen rolled down and Albert looked back at me through the mirror.
" Where am I taking you tonight Mr. Reed?" he asked.
" Just home Albert. Vivian will already be worried about where I got off to," I said with a smile.
" Yes Sir," he replied I sat back in my seat and he closed the screen and started our trip home.
Francesca
I had lied about wanting to be reminded of the good times that Brandon and I had shared, but it was good to hear them again. I will only be able to get past the pain if I remember him. All I have been doing since I got here was pushing down all the memories and all the feelings that I had...that isn't any way to get past it...I don't even think I can, but I at least have to try….even if it is to no avail.
I spent another good hour in my newly found study looking through the scrapbooks that Heather had packed into my bag for me. They were filled to the brim with pictures of the lot of us. Pictures from my childhood. Pictures from when Elle and I were in grad school. Too many pictures of the day we graduated. Photos from Elle's wedding and bachelorette party. A great number of pictures from the first Christmas that Brandon shared with me. By the time I had finished the first one, tears were cascading down my face, but I had to keep going. Seeing all of their faces made me remember that I was never alone no matter how much it felt that way.
The second one was filled with more recent photos including the ones from the day that I helped Elle and Josh move into the new house. There were many boxes and just not enough space in their little Lambo. We had to make six trips to and from the new place to get everything. I stopped for a second to wipe the tears off the plastic page covers, then continued. On the following pages, there were more pictures of me and Brandon. No doubt including the one that I have framed in my bedroom. Elle and Heather teamed up to do these things telling me that I would want them later.
After seeing all the pictures of the two of us, I had to stop. I was now sobbing loudly into the quiet of the room, so it was no surprise when the girls came rushing into my study. When they saw my state, they ran over and threw their arms around my convulsing body. My cries filled the room and overflowed into the silent hallways through the open door. A large number of the auxiliary staff came rushing over to my side of the manor and when they saw me they just silently backed away from the door.
I cried out all of my feelings, of betrayal, of hatred, of love...everything that I had been holding in for so long just came rushing out and I had no power to stop it. When my sobs became quiet pants and my convulsing became slight chills, the girls let go of me and stood on their feet. They helped me to my feet and silently helped me up the stairs to my bedroom where they put me in my bed. I felt all the tears that I had left to cry slowly roll down my face as I fell into a dreamless sleep.
I felt nothing now...I was a numb husk of the women I once was.
When I woke the next morning, there was a cart with a steaming plate of food, a bottle of water, a bottle of aspirin, and a cup of coffee. I sat up in my bed and immediately wanted to lay back down. My head was pounding because of all the crying I had down yesterday. When I was able to sit back up, I pulled the detachable tray off the cart. I put it on my lap and opened the bottle of aspirin. I quickly downed two of the small pills and dug into my breakfast. I hadn't realized last night because of...my state that I had gone to bed without eating dinner. So undoubtedly my stomach growled with anticipation when it saw that mouthwatering platter of food before me.
After eating I readied myself for the day without the well-known spring in my step. I felt better today, but anyone could tell that I wasn't myself today. When I made my way into the living room, the girls were already there and they were busying themselves. Alexandra was knitting something while humming a familiar tune and Victoria had her nose stuck in a wonderful book that I had read many times before.
When they heard my footsteps, their focus immediately turned to me and all motion stopped. I sat down in the armchair and they stared at me attentively.
" I am sorry about yesterday. I don't know what came over me; I could no longer control myself. All my emotions came rushing to the surface and I was powerless to stop them. I hope that I didn't cause you both too much trouble on your first day in your new place," I said sadly.
" Of course you didn't Francesca. Sometimes we all just need to cry it out don't worry about any inconvenience that you may have caused us. All that matters is that you are ok. What were you even doing that caused you so much pain?" Victoria asked.
" I was looking through all the photo albums that Elle and Heather had made for me over the years. Seeing all their faces again...I thought I could handle it...it was all just too much at once," I replied solemnly.
" Oh...I...um" Alexandra began but never finished. Neither of them could think of anything to say to me. There were just no words to be said of what they saw yesterday…
" I really can't find the words to explain anything...but thank you both so much for not pressing me for answers yesterday and just being there for me. I was a child yesterday and you didn't treat me as such. For that, I am also thankful for," I said. They looked up from their hands and smiled at me.
" You have given us more than we could've ever asked for, so giving you any kindness is our way of repaying you," Alexandra said. I smiled widely at both of them. I went over to the love seat that they were sharing and threw my arms around the two of them.
" I couldn't have asked for better maids and I couldn't have asked for better friends. You guys are amazing," I said. We just sat there and hugged because the last two days have been pretty emotional, but now I think I was finally starting to stable out again.
After a few more minutes, I unwrapped my arms from around them.
" How about we work on Vic's wedding till like 5 ish then we eat dinner and spend the rest of the night in my room watching whatever movies that I own?" I said.
" That sounds amazing! Let's bloody do this thing," Victoria says. Alexandra and I look at the small lady shocked. I have never heard Victoria say something like that and she has never been that loud. She is the quiet one of the group and she balanced Alexandra's and my blatant loudness.
" Damn girl! There is no need to shout, but I agree. That sounds like lots of fun," Alexandra says.
We stand from our positions in the living room and quickly walk up the stairs. We head straight to Victoria's room; we close the door behind us and take the small spiraling staircase one-by-one. When we got into the tower-like room, I go straight over to the desk that I had set up and grabbed my sketchbook and pencils, I sit in the rolling chair in front of the desk. I turn back around and see that the girls had already sat down on the remaining chairs in the room. I rolled over to the table that they had sat down at and put my sketchbook down in front of them.
" So these are just two options that I have come up with since we met last. I can change them in any way you would like," I say slightly nervous.
It had been a long time since I had created anything on my own and this was a very special project that was near and dear to my heart; I couldn't screw it up. Victoria studied the sketches for a long while before she looked up from the pages. She had a few tears gathering in the corner of her eyes and I couldn't help but be nervous.
" These are both so beautiful Francesca and honestly I could see myself walking down the aisle in either of them, but I think I am going to choose the second one," she said. I let out the breath that had been trapped in my throat and smiled at her.
I take my book back from her and look down at the dress she had chosen. I smiled slightly to myself; I had secretly liked this one better the whole time and had hoped that she would end up choosing it.
" It will be a beautiful dress and you will be the most beautiful bride Vic. I can't wait to start, but there are more pressing matters that we must attend to. So we worked on the guest list and dates with Jarin, but we still must decide the look of the invitations and the theme even though you said that you didn't care. There is also the caterers, the bouquet arrangements, and so much more that we still need to do before time runs out. But for now, let's just worry about the invitations and theme for the big day," I said. I had realized that Victoria's eyes had begun to grow quite wide while I was speaking which is why I decided not to continue talking about everything that we needed to get done.
Victoria seemed to be dazed most likely not realizing how much goes into just one day of her life. She nods at my statement of just keeping it simple for now. I push away from the table and rolled back over to my desk. I switch my sketchbook for my notebook and laptop and grab a few more odds and ends. I rolled back over to the table that was placed conveniently in the middle of the room. I placed my things onto the table and looked to the slightly overwhelmed bride-to-be.
" So, Victoria, have you given any thought to what you want your invitations to say?" I asked her.
"Um...no not really. This is all happening kind of fast...I thought that I still had a few years before we could even think about getting married," she replied honestly.
" That's fine. I'm sure that you had no idea that your employer would want to finance and plan your wedding. I have an idea where we can get some inspiration though. Pinterest has amazing ideas and I think I still may follow the board that helped me with Elle's wedding," I said. I opened my laptop and logged in. I swiftly opened Pinterest and I saw that I was indeed correct; I was still following a wedding board.
" Here it is...ladies roll around to this side, so we can all see it," I said as I ushered them over with my hands.
They rolled around the ends of the table and looked at my screen with me. We flipped through Pinterest until Victoria found the invitation template that she would like to follow. We had also found the design that she liked and it was beautiful; there was a floral design on the edges that would complement her dress and it was just an overall beautiful design. I had begun to search for a place to design and order the invitations. I just so happened to glance at the clock on the wall and saw that it read 5:45.
" Wow, time really does fly when you're having fun," I said. The girls looked up from the color scheme book that they had been working with, to the clock and the realization that it had gotten late showed on their faces.
" Woah...that went by really quickly. What do you guys want for dinner?" Alexandra asks.
" I don't know, whatever suits your fancy Alex. I end could anything really," Victoria replies. I nod along with what Victoria says.
" Ok, I guess I will come up with something then," Alexandra says and with that, she gets up and heads for the stairs. I get up from my chair and push it back into the table.
I walked towards my desk and put everything down. Then I made my way toward the stairs as well. I turned around and saw Victoria yawning.
" Wedding stuff can tire a girl out huh?" I asked with humor swimming in my words. Victoria blushed and looked at her feet. I giggled at her embarrassment and walked back over to her.
" Don't worry Vic I was only kidding. I know how overwhelming all this can be, I would be tired too if it was my wedding," I said in a reassuring voice. I grabbed her hand and walked toward the stairs backward. Which I now realize was a bad idea...and I still have no idea why I did it in the first place. A few steps in and I bumped hard into something and fell onto my bum. I looked up and watched as all the things that I had just placed on it fell off and flew through the air. Being mostly papers, they went everywhere throughout the room.
I heard Victoria laughing at me as I stood up from the floor. I looked at her and she was clutching her stomach.
" Yeah...laugh it up, I'm sure from where you were standing it was really funny Vic," I said. I began to clean up the papers and when she got a hold of herself, Victoria went around with me picking up the mess that I had created.
I watched as she picked up papers until she was holding quite a large stack. I walked over to my desk and placed all the papers I had collected down; this time much farther away from the edge. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her reach down and grab the sketchbook that I just now realized was laying on the floor.
As she picked it up, a few small slips of paper that I had stuck into it fell out. When I saw the cover, I realized that this was my old sketchbook; the one that I had before I left my home. The one I had before I stopped creating clothing...the one that Heather and I had shared for so long. Victoria picked up the small slips and put them down on the desktop next to the book, but she held onto one. She held the slip so gently that I was worried it would fall from her hands by the wind that rushed throughout the room because of the opened window.
" Hey, Francesca, who is this?" Victoria asks. I walked over to where she stood and looked down at the thing that she was holding. It was a picture of a day that I had long forgotten. I looked so much younger...no surprise it had been about 5 years ago.
" That is my nanny Heather and when I was first learning to drive. I was the only 18-year old that I had ever known not to have her license, so Heather vowed to change that, " I say with a laugh as I remember the day.
"Ok Frankie, all you have to do is lightly press on the gas," Heather said.
"Ok, I can do that. Here we go," I say. I press the gas and the car jerks forward a little before I press the brake.
"Never mind Heather, I don't think I really need a license. I think I am just going to go back to the house where it is safe," I said.
" No deary, until you can do this, we are not going inside," She said as she locked the doors so I couldn't get out.
"Fine...but if I can't do this by the end of the day, you have to stop bugging me about being an 18-year-old without a license," I said.
" Deal." She replied
"Francesca, can you hear me? Hello…" I heard Victoria ask. I shook my head and tried to zone back into reality.
" Yeah, sorry. I was just remembering that day and how stupid I had been. What I can remember is Elle standing outside on the sidewalk laughing at me. Eventually Heather had to ask her to shut up or go inside since she was being so distracting, and I quote 'I would like to live to see the birth of my grandchildren', " I reply.
" I could see how that would be funny. Francesca, you know that if you ever need to talk to someone about anything, you can always come to me," Victoria said.
"Thank you, Vic. It's reassuring to know that I am not alone and I will come to you, or Alex if I ever need to talk, but for now let's just worry about dinner, " I said. She nodded and we walked down the stairs together. When we made it to the kitchen, Alexandra was cooking up a storm; I had no idea what she was making, but it smelled delicious. She must have heard us come down because she turned around and smiled at us.
" Ok dinner's gonna be ready in a few minutes, so can you get out plates and silverware?" she asked us as she turned back around to look at the stove.
" Sure," I replied quickly. I would only be a bother if I was to get into the kitchen, but getting the table settings is something that I can do.
Victoria and I grabbed everything we needed from the cabinets and drawers; then we set up three places at the bar. As soon as we finished, Alexandra walked over and spooned the dish onto the plates we set out. By the time she was done dishing out the amazing smelling food, my stomach was growling so loud that it sounded like a blue whale's mating call.
Alexandra looked at me and smiled at my stomach's loud, obnoxious noises.
" Since when did a pod of whales live here?" Alexandra asked with her voice and body language screaming humor. Victoria giggled at this and when she saw my annoyed face, she started to laugh hysterically.
" Thanks, guys. Really feeling the love," I said. I stared down at my plate grumbling.
" Perk up Francesca, you know we are only joking," Victoria said jokingly. I didn't look up from my plate only started grumbling more.
When we had finished eating, we cleaned all the dishes and put them away in their places. Once we were done, we quickly walked up the stairs and separated at the top of the stairs to go and change into our pajamas. I changed into a pair of Mickey Mouse shorts and was pulling down a black tank top when my door slammed open. I quickly pulled it the rest of the way down and turned to look at a blushing Alexandra and Victoria.
" Don't worry guys, you didn't see anything and we all have the same parts so it wouldn't matter anyway. What did you guys snatch?" I asked. They pulled their hands from their burning cheeks and smiled mischievously at me. Alexandra pulled a bottle of wine and a bag of Haribo gummy bears from her pants. I'm not even going to ask why she put it in her pants…
" I asked one of my friends on Scott's staff and he managed to snag one of the bottles of wine that Scott had ordered for some reason. Technically it isn't stealing since you are his wife...and then the gummy bears were also taken from Scott. My friend said that Scott orders them quite often for Spencer," Alexandra said. I smirked at her and took the goodies from her. Then Victoria pulled something from behind her back; that extremely surprised me...she was holding a full bottle of Grey Goose vodka.
" Oh, this is going to be fun...now I have a bunch of chick flicks and a few Disney movies. What do you want to start with?" I asked them. They shared a look and they smiled at me.
" Surely the Disney movies...then we can make our way into the chick flicks," Alexandra replied.
The next few hours consisted of many movies, an extremely drunk Victoria, and a really fun time. I can't remember the last time I had this much fun. We were in the last movie that I owned and the girls fell fast asleep on my bed. I turned off the TV and tucked the drunkards into my bed together, as they snored loudly snuggling with one another. I cleaned up the trash that I could find in the dark and left my room with a soft click from the door.
I walked into Alexandra's room and up the stairs to the "wedding" room. I took out my sketchbook and grabbed the fabric from the closet. I walked over to the side of the room where I set up my mannequin. I measured the fabric to fit the measurements that I took of Victoria and began pinning the fabric into place. I worked on the dress for most of the night until I could barely keep my eyes open, so I went downstairs to the kitchen. I poured myself a glass of water and walked around to my study. I sat down behind my desk and pulled out the blank journal that I had bought in town. I opened it to the first page and began writing.
By the time I had finished writing down everything that I wanted to get out, the sun had begun to rise over the horizon. I placed the journal inside my desk drawer and quietly made my way upstairs. I opened my door and stuck my head in, to see that the girls were still fast asleep. I walked in and sat down on the couch that I had placed in the corner of the room. I lay down on the couch and closed my eyes, but when I did, all I saw were the memories of everyone that I was forced to leave.
I quickly opened them again and sat back up. I wiped the tears that had snuck their way down my face. I couldn't see them again. I couldn't bring them into this life...Scott was a monster and he would put down anyone the wouldn't listen to him. I couldn't subject them to such ridicule.
Everything that I remember was too much and I couldn't take it. I miss them so much...and I was stuck here forever. Not even Alexandra and Victoria can keep the emptiness away. I wish this feeling would just go away... I silently sobbed to myself as the girls slept only two feet away and I could do nothing to keep the tears from running down my face. They just kept falling... something was building up in my chest but the feeling stayed right out of reach and there was no way I could attain it.
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