章 7: I'm sorry, but I have to
I reached the cafe, ordered drinks for them as well as for myself and sat in a table.
*after sometime
I was scrolling through my phone and heard footsteps coming towards my way. I looked up and saw jungkook, Jin oppa and Namjoon oppa.
"Please, sit down. And I've got you drinks. I hope you like it." I said and handed the drinks to them.
"Thanks. And by coincidence, you've got us the right drinks." Jin oppa said and started sipping his drink.
I smiled, feeling satisfied.
"Okay. Let me come to the point. I called you guys, cause I wanted to know some information on one of your members." I said.
"Information? About who and why?" Namjoon oppa asked.
"I wanted to know Jimin's past. Cause..." I paused and looked at them to see their reaction.
"Jimin? Why would you want to know about him? And we're not ready to tell you anything about it." Namjoon oppa said angrily.
"Please, please. Listen to me, just this once. I just want to know." I begged him.
"No. Sorry. We can't tell you anything. And there's no need to tell you all this. It was wrong being nice to you. You take too much advantage." He said angrily and got up. Jungkook held his hand and said,"Hyung. We still didn't listen to her reason. Come on hyung, give her a chance."
"Ok." He said and sat down. I looked at jungkook and nodded his head, saying that he's got me. I smiled at him, and continued.
"Okay. The reason is cause, that day when jungkook and Taehyung came to our class, I saw him happy. But he acts all angry with me. I haven't even met him before not done anything to him. All 6 of you are kind to me, but I feel guilty leaving out one person from a group that was already formed, even before I came. I don't wanna spoil your friendship. So, if there was any wrong thing happened in his past, like any issues with girls or something, I can change myself." I said, feeling guilty.
"But, how can I trust you?" Namjoon oppa asked.
"Namjoon, how many questions will you ask?" Jin oppa asked.
"Hyung. Telling about someone's past is not easy. We can't trust anyone easily." He said and looked at me.
"Okay. Here's a deal. If you're ready to tell me about his past, I'll tell you about...." before I could finish, he said,"about you past."
"My past? Why?" I asked.
"Cause were telling about Jimin's to you. If you want us to trust us, tell us about your past." He said.
I looked at jungkook. He nodded his head, saying me to tell him.
"Okay. I'll tell. But, if something about me goes out of us three, I'll spill Jimin's past out, too." I said.
"Okay. We'll start with yours. Cause, what if you don't tell us after we tell you." He said.
Did he go training for police or what? He's like an investigator.
"Okay. Sure." I said.
*****************
*my flashback
When I was born, my parents took great care of me. When I was 5 years old, my mom had passed away by an accident. At that age, I wouldn't even have know the meaning of death. And I never expected it to be one of my family member.
I cried and cried all day. I always thought about my mom.
*after 3 years.
One day, my dad was watching TV and I was sitting next to him. I was around 8 years.
And doing my homework.
He put a channel which caught my attention.
It was a dance show. And a particular dance, specially caught my eye. It was a song, which had so much emotion. So much sadness, so much love and so much.... I couldn't tell it but I could feel it.
I hurriedly went to my room. My dad looked surprised and shouted,"Y/n. Is something wrong?"
"Nothing, I shouted back.
I opened my laptop and played a music. I heard the music once. Then I stood up and started moving my body to the beat, freely.
I realised that I was connected to this. I was connected to dance. It helps me express my feelings. If I'm happy or sad or excited or anything.
So, I practiced dance in my room for a year and a half, and my dad knew nothing about it.
*one and half years later
One fine day, the weather looked nice and thought to dance, early in the morning as it freshens me up or lightens my mood.
I put my headphones and started playing music and started dancing.
*after about 3 songs
I turned around and saw my dad standing there, in amazement.
"Y/n!" He said.
I didn't wanna tell him that I liked dance.
"Father, I'm sorry. I won't do it again. I'm really sorry." I said looking down.
He came forward and hugged me.
"Child. I'm proud of you. Even though your mother left us at a young age, but you've over come that fact and started dancing." He said, while tears flowed through his eyes.
I got up on the bed and wiped his tears and said,"abeoji, at first, I felt scared to tell you that I want dance as my passion, I thought you would deny. But now, I feel bad for not telling you in the first place. And I've been practicing for a year and half. I'm sorry." I said and tears flowed in my eyes.
"Don't give up your passion. We can do one thing. You can dance for me and I'll correct you. I'll help you." He said.
"Thank you, abeoji." I said and hugged him.
From the next day, I used to dance for him and he used to correct me. That's how, I learnt dance properly.
*after few years
I was 15 years now. My father was sitting in the balcony and watching my dance.
Suddenly, he fell. I was shocked. "Abeoji! Abeoji!" I shouted. But his left side couldn't respond.
I immediately took him to hospital and admitted him.
*at the hospital
After sometime, the doctor came and asked,"Any Mr. Wang relatives or family member?"
"Yeah me!" I said and went hurriedly.
"Is everything okay?" I asked worriedly.
"I'm sorry to say, but your father has a stroke. And it's in a critical stage. He hardly can live." He said.
Tears flowed in my eyes gradually.
"But doctor, how did this happen?" I asked.
"His blood flow is blocked in his brain." He said.
"Is there anything to save him?" I asked eagerly.
"Yeah. An operation can be done. But it's difficult to say if he can survive or give up while doing the operation." He said.
"I'll let you know later.Thank you doctor." I said and he left.
I sat down and cried. I don't wanna lose someone close to me again.
I went to room he was admitted. I saw a nurse come out. I hurriedly went to her and asked,"excuse me. Can I see my father now?"
"Yeah. Sure." She said. I went in.
I saw him awake. I went to his bed and sat next to him.
"Abeoji, why does this happen to me?" I asked him.
"Child. It's our fate. We can't do anything." He said smiling.
"Abeoji, please don't leave me." I said crying.
"Y/n. Here. Look at me." He said.
I looked at him.
"Y/n. No matter what happens, never give up. Do what you love. Never leave dancing, for what others say or what others think of you. Be however you want. Show them how much dance means to you. Dance from your heart. Show your feeling through dance. I might not be by your side, every time."
"Abeoji! No! Stop saying it. You're not leaving me." I said crying.
"Y/n. Child. If not now, I might, someday." He said.
"Abeoji, please." I cried even more.
"Y/n. I love you, child. And remember, do what you like." He said and closed his eyes.
"ABEOJI!!!!" I shouted.
The nurse came in. "Miss. Anything wrong?" She said and looked at my father.
"I'll go get the doctor now." She said and left.
I kept crying more and more.
The doctor came and checked. He approached me and said,"Miss. Sorry to say, but your father has passed away."
Hearing it, I cried even more. I ran out of the room and cried hard. I felt someone's hands around me. I looked it was my grandma.
"Ahjumma." I hugged her and cried.
*the next day
We had a funeral for my dad. I couldn't. His words kept coming again and again.
*after sometime
It the end of the funeral. Everyone left except me.
"Wae?" I asked myself.
"Why things happen to me?" I asked myself.
After staying for sometime, there, I went to my house.
My grandmother lived with me for a year. I felt sorry for her. She stayed with me in Daegu, while her house was at Seoul.
I went to her and said,"ahjumma, I've decided to move in with you, at Seoul."
"Are you sure child?" She asked.
"Yes. I'm sure. I wanna get over it." I said and hugged her.
"Okay. Sure. You can stay with me." She said.
*********************
" I got transferred and here I am." I said as tears flowed from my eyes.
I wiped it and looked at them. They looked really sad.
"Y/n. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gutted you before, like that. I'm really sorry." Namjoon said.
"No it's fine. You didn't know about it before. It's okay." I said and wiped my tears and drank some water.
The more I tried, it didn't stop flowing.
Jungkook sat next to me and comforted me.
*after few minutes
"Okay. Can we continue?" I asked.
"Yeah sure." Jin said.
"Jimin's from Busan. He too had wanted to dance as he could express his emotion." Namjoon said and continued.
******************
*Jimin's past (Namjoon narrates the story)
While Jimin was born, his mother thought he was a disgrace. But his father loved him a lot.
When he was 5 years, his mother started treating him like one of her servants. She always used to ask him to do things for her.
As a kid he thought he was helping his mother.
*2 years later
Jimin was 8 years now. He still works hard for his mother.
One day, he felt really exhausted. And his mother had asked him to get her something. While coming towards her, he fainted.
His father got shocked and rushed towards him.
"Jimin! Jimim!" He shouted.
He sprinkled water on him and he got up.
His mother got up and looked at the mess he created.
"Jimin! What have you done? You broke the plate. Do you know how much it costs." She said angrily.
"Son. You go to your room." His father said.
After he went to his room, his mom and dad fought. From that day, they kept fighting.
One day, Jimin's father took him out, as he couldn't spend any quality time with him.
While walking, something caught his eyes.
He saw few people street dancing. He watched it, enjoying.
"Jimin. What are you watching?" His father asked.
"Abeoji, I want to dance." He said.
"Sure" he said without asking why.
From that day on he used to dance in his room. He used to do less work to his mom now. She got angry and shouted at him,"you are useless. I don't need you anymore. If you don't listen to me, you'll face it." She said and dragged him out of the house into the car.
He cried on his way. His mom didn't listen. She took him to a hospital. "Stay here!" She shouted and went inside a room.
After sometime, she left without looking at him.
A doctor approached him and said,"Park Jimin?"
He stood up and headed forward.
"I am." He said.
"Okay you'll be under general check up. So you have to stay here for a while." The doctor said and lead him.
But from that day, his mother didn't come to see him. But his father used to come once, twice a week.
He was 11 years but he never stopped dancing. From the day he came to the hospital, he used to dance. He still didn't know why he was there.
One day his father had come to visit him. He went in and had a talk with him. He said,"Jimin. Do you know why you are here?"
He shakes his head side ways telling he doesn't know.
"I think it's the right time to tell you. Your mom didn't want you. She didn't like you from the time you were born. She wanted to give you, but I refused. She treated you like her servant. That's why you are here." He said.
Tears starts flowing through his eyes.
"But, don't give up. Do your passion. Continue dancing. Never be with people who don't value you or just use you. And, stay happy." He said and left.
He cried a lot. He couldn't believe.
He used to practice for sad songs.
*************
"Then one day, Hoseok hyung and yoongi hyung saw him walk in the corridor of the hospital everyday, cause they came to visit a patient. They approached him and talked with him. And that's how he met us. From that day, he danced with us and stayed with us."Namjoon said.
I was listening very eagerly to everything he said.
"But why does he not talk to me?" I asked.
"Jimin doesn't like to be alone. If alone, he'll start thinking about his past. He had a girlfriend. He loved her so much. But she tried to separate Jimin from us. He wanted us more at the time. He thinks you too might do the same thing, like take us away from him. Since then, he doesn't talk to any girl." Jin said.
"Okay. If I am the problem and that's what keeps him happy, and moreover he only has you guys, it's the best for me to leave." I said and left out of the cafe crying.
I ran crying. I stopped. Someone held my hand. I turned and saw Jungkook.
"Y/n, what is this? Are you crazy?" He asked.
"No. I don't want to be a barrier between you guys. And I can't hate one person. I don't have the strength to it. I'm sorry jungkook, but I have to, for your good, for your friend's good, for your members happiness. I shall stop seeing you guys and talking with you guys." I said and ran crying.
"Y/N, WAIT!" He shouted.
But I ran. I went home and locked my door and started crying.
To be continued....
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