章 1401: ESCAPING THE DARKNESS
As I parked my car in the driveway after getting home, I could see signs of someone still being up. The living room light was on and there was the occasional flicker from the television. Amy probably, she was the only one I could expect not to be in bed as late as it was.
I had fairly odd hours at the job I worked. I started my workday in the afternoon and didn't get home until after midnight most of the time. My days off were very rarely on the traditional weekend either, tending to be more in the middle of the week instead. This meant that, despite still living at home, I could go days without actually seeing my parents or sister. It made my social life pretty difficult as well. I liked the job though, and I didn't mind a little solitude. Maybe someday I'd make it onto a more 'normal' schedule, but I wasn't too concerned about it.
After getting inside the house and kicking off my shoes I peaked into the living room to confirm it was my eighteen year old little sister curled up on the couch. She looked asleep and I quietly turned away toward the kitchen, trying not to wake her.
"Mom left a plate of food in the fridge for you," Amy mumbled before I could even take a step.
Not asleep after all.
"Thanks," I called over my shoulder.
Mom was usually good about leaving me something to eat and I probably would have checked the fridge even if Amy hadn't said anything. I took a couple minutes to heat it up in the microwave and grab a drink, after which I returned to the living room.
"So what are we watching?" I asked.
I sat down on the couch beside my sister, taking advantage of the coffee table to set my food on. I didn't recognize whatever show, or movie, was on the tv, but from what little I'd seen the plot didn't look overly hard to follow.
"I dunno. There's this guy who killed some other guys. Now these two guys," she said as she pointed at the screen," are looking for the first guy. I think."
I smiled at her description of events and watched for a couple minutes as I ate. Amy was clearly tired but was trying not to show it now that I had joined her.
"You know you don't have to stay up and wait for me," I said.
"I know, but I hardly get to see you if I don't."
"Don't get me wrong I like having some time together, but I don't want you exhausting yourself for it."
"Oh I'm a little sleepy, that's all." Amy sat up straighter and stretched. "Just need something to wake me up."
I hadn't finished eating, but that was alright. I knew what my sister was up to and, despite my concern for her well-being, I had been looking forward to it.
Amy and I had a somewhat different relationship from what anyone else knew, a relationship modified by our time spent together in the middle of the night. As far as we allowed other people to see we were purely a brother and sister with all that entailed. But we had our secrets.
I watched as Amy stood and walked slowly past me to the light switch on the wall. She continued stretching as she moved, only for show now as she made sure to pull her shirt tight across her chest for my benefit. Soon the room was dark except for the faint light emanating from the tv. Sometimes she would leave it on to give us the small amount of visibility it provided, but only sometimes. She found the remote on her way back and with the press of a button all the light in the room was gone.
It wasn't completely dark or anything. There was still the moonlight from outside which was enough that we could make out some basic shapes, but that was about it. This was how Amy preferred it, and I didn't disagree. The darkness gave a sense of comfort, a protection from the prying eyes that existed only in our imaginations. We weren't hurting anybody but we had no illusions about what kind of reaction we'd get if anyone ever found out.
Amy knelt in front of me and I scooted forward a little on the couch. Her practiced fingers were in my pants and extracting my cock quickly and with hardly any difficulty despite the lack of light. She had done this enough times it was second nature.
"So did you jerk off last night?" she asked.
She hadn't stayed up last night, leaving me on my own. I didn't mind that much in some ways since I really did want her to get the rest she needed, but I still felt disappointed every time I came home and didn't find her waiting for me.
"Nah, it's not the same doing it on my own," I said. It was more or less the truth.
"You just like getting other people to do everything for you."
"I do when they're so good at it."
I could sense Amy's smile even if I couldn't see it. She wasn't hesitant about fishing for compliments and I didn't mind giving them. Besides, she really did do a good job and the last thing I wanted to do was discourage her.
My cock was coming alive in her hand even though she wasn't yet doing much more than just holding it. I sometimes wondered how I would find it if I could see more of my sister while we did this, if she took her shirt off or something. It probably would get me harder faster but it would almost certainly be at least a little weird at first. Plus it would mean pushing the unspoken lines that we both did our best to stay inside.
Despite the lack of visual stimulation I did gradually become fully hard as a result of my sister's touch and what I knew was to come. Amy probably was legitimately better than I was at getting me off at this point, all the nights of practice having paid off. Part of that was just the feeling of someone else's hand doing the work, not to mention a distinctly female hand. I couldn't manage anything that compared to that sensation.
I groaned softly as she started stroking me, her small, soft fingers caressing my sensitive skin. Truth be told she was pretty much the only one who got me off these days. I didn't have a girlfriend or anything and, as much as I joked or avoided really answering the question when it came up, I really didn't masturbate anymore. I preferred letting Amy do it. It was kind of fucked up, and I understood that, but it worked out okay and we both enjoyed ourselves so what the hell?
Something warm and wet touched the tip of my cock, Amy's tongue. It used to be she would use her hands and that was it. At some point that changed and she had started using her mouth as well. Things had remained roughly the same since then, though I knew if she ever tried anything new I would probably let her. That's how we'd gotten where we were now after all.
Amy's lips parted and wrapped around my erection, slowly engulfing it. Her hand still gripped the base, squeezing tighter now and beginning to move in rhythm with her mouth. Strands of her hair brushed me as her head bobbed in my lap and I wanted to brush them back for her. I kept my arms firmly at my sides though since I had to be very careful about touching her. I never knew if something I did might scare her off, even when I was fairly certain she would see it as harmless. There was no telling which straw might break the camel's back.
"Oh fuck Amy," I breathed.
I felt the back of her throat bumping against the head of my cock on every down stroke, it drove me crazy when she did that. Her tongue played over the bottom of my shaft and her fingers were always there to fill the gap when her head pulled back. She kept up constant but varied stimulation on me as she built me up to the point of orgasm.
"I'm cumming," I said, providing what warning I could.
My sister's lips retreated to seal off the very end of my cock while she continued pumping it with her hand. My cum shot into her waiting mouth and I could feel the slight movements as she swallowed it as fast as it came out. She told me that it was easier this way, that it didn't make a mess. I didn't really believe that was her reason but I wasn't about to call her on it.
Finally I was dry and Amy disengaged from me after a couple last strokes to make sure I was done. I got myself pulled together and covered up while she settled back in on the couch beside me, not quite close enough to be touching. There was a lamp on her end of the couch and she turned it on instead of going back to the switch for the main room light.
I could make out my sister's features again, all the familiar details that were lost in the dark. She looked pleased with herself as she often did afterward.
"Amazing as usual," I said before she could even ask. And I knew she would ask.
"Of course it was," she said as though it was a foregone conclusion. She still beamed at the compliment though.
We sat in silence for a few minutes, out of things to say. It felt good just being with her sometimes, just hanging out. It made me wonder how long we'd be able to get away with our relationship in its current form. We rarely talked about it period, let alone what the future held.
"So how are things?" I asked.
"What things?"
"You know, like how's school going, how's life, stuff like that."
"I dunno, same as usual I guess," she said with a shrug. "Why?"
"Because we don't talk about that stuff much, maybe I've missed something important that happened to you."
"Or maybe you want to ask me something specific and don't know how," Amy said with a calculating look.
"It really does me no good trying to be sneaky around you, does it?"
"Nope, I know you to well."
I shifted around in my seat uncomfortably.
"Alright, I guess I'm just wondering about relationships with, you know, other people."
"You mean am I seeing anyone?" she asked with a slight edge.
"I think you would have told me if you were," I said, which seemed to placate her a little. "But we never talked about what we're going to do when it happens."
"Maybe it won't happen."
"Look Amy, I don't really want to think about it either, but do you really want this," I said, gesturing around us with my arms, "for your whole life?"
"Could do worse."
She looked upset now which I had hoped to avoid. I knew I shouldn't have tried to talk about the issue, I should have just left it alone. Except that it would have led to problems down the road anyway, possibly much worse problems.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean for this to be a huge deal. I just thought we should talk about it sometime. Believe me, I'm not trying to get rid of you or anything."
"I think you were right earlier," Amy said after a brief pause. "Maybe I am more tired than I thought."
She stood up and turned toward her room. I couldn't see her face and perhaps she really was just feeling tired, but it could be more than that.
"You're not mad at me are you?" I asked softly.
Amy stopped and looked back at me.
"No, I'm not mad," she said. "You were probably right about us needing to talk. I just can't handle it right now."
She walked back to stand in front of me and leaned down to kiss me gently. She only held it for a second or two before straightening up.
I waited until she left for real then let out a big sigh and leaned back heavily on the couch, tilting my head up toward the ceiling. As much as I loved my sister, nothing about her was simple anymore.
****
I didn't see my sister again the next night, or even the night after. I started to worry that she actually was upset with me despite her protestations otherwise. It wasn't clear to me however whether I should make a point of talking to her again or if I should wait for her to come to me. If she didn't want to see me then pushing her might not be a good idea, however it would at least let me know what was going on.
It turned out I didn't even have to make a decision. I woke up the morning after the second night without Amy to find her still at home. I didn't notice right away of course, it wasn't until I happened to be walking by her room that I saw her lying quietly on her bed reading.
"Hey," I said.
Amy jumped and turned to me with wide eyes before calming down.
"Shit, I forgot you'd still be home," she said.
"I don't go to work until later," I said.
"I know, I'm just usually gone by then and... oh whatever."
Until she said that I actually hadn't put together all the pieces.
"You're supposed to be in class aren't you?" I said, finally cluing in.
"I decided I didn't really want to go today."
She said it as though that was all there was to her decision. Not that I was planning to argue about it, that was our parents' job if they so chose. Or maybe if they ever found out, more to the point, which I had no intention of helping them do.
"So, do you want me to leave you alone?" I asked, thinking I should probably figure that out.
"What? No, why would I... oh, because I was avoiding you the past couple nights."
"That'd be it alright."
"Listen, I'm really not mad at you." Amy patted the bed beside her in an invitation to sit down, which I accepted. "You made me think about things I didn't really want to think about. But I guess I have to face the fact that we're not going to be, you know, together forever. Or whatever the equivalent is for us."
"It got kind of comfortable, didn't it," I said.
"Yeah, maybe that's a good word for it. It felt like there was something good in my life that I could depend on. Doesn't mean it's really the best thing for either of us though."
I took Amy's hand and squeezed it gently, trying to be reassuring.
"You know I'm not taking that away," I said. "But when you meet someone you want to be with, we'll stop right? It would have to end then."
"You'd pretend for me wouldn't you?" she said in a odd voice. "If I met someone tomorrow you'd be supportive and everything, and you'd be upset too. Maybe just a little. But you'd pretend you weren't."
"Amy...."
"And I'd do the same." She looked at me sadly. "That's why I didn't want to talk about this. Because no matter what happens, one or both of us is going to feel guilty about it. I wanted to ignore it and hope it went away on its own. I wanted it to stay in the dark."
"It'll be okay," I said, fooling no one.
****
I thought a lot about what Amy had said over the next few days. Somewhere in my mind I think I had decided I would wait for her to find a guy before I put any effort into getting a real girlfriend. She was right, I didn't want that guilt of abandoning her. But of course she felt the same and wouldn't want to be the one to break off our nights together. And if neither of us ever found someone else then we'd both feel guilty about ruining the other's chances of a normal life. Why was nothing simple anymore?
Things went back to normal to a certain extent between Amy and me. She started waiting for me to get home at night again and it surprised me just how excited I got every time she was there, now that I could no longer take it more or less for granted.
It was also different than it had been before, there was more of a need between us. Once the lights were out Amy would sit closer to me, sometimes leaning in enough that I could wrap my arms around her and hold her. We didn't speak mostly, just sat together with our thoughts.
And of course there were the blowjobs. The only part of our relationship that was sexual and the only part we really needed to hide. Anything else could be passed off as normal sibling stuff if it ever came up. I only wished there wasn't such an emotional aspect to it, that it was purely sexual. That would have made it easier to stop what we were doing.
I remembered back when it started, back to one of the first times Amy had essentially masturbated me. It was a little awkward for us at first, but she was determined.
"You don't have to do this you know," I'd said.
"I know, but I want to. You can pretend it's someone else if you want," had been her reply.
She'd had her preference for the lights being off even then so I couldn't see her face, but I didn't need to. I could hear everything I needed to in her voice.
"No Amy, I don't want you to be someone else," I'd said.
I'd always loved my sister but I didn't necessarily spend very much time with her for various reasons. Maybe that's all she'd wanted at first, to give me a reason to actively want to see her rather than just accepting it when it happened. Whatever the case, now it was our link, our secret connection to each other. It remained to be seen what would happen if and when it was gone.
****
Even at work I spent a lot of time absorbed in the problem of what to do about the situation with Amy. On my breaks in particular, when I had nothing better to do, I would stare off into space wrapped up in my own thoughts. It wasn't all that surprising that someone caught me at it.
"Enjoying the view?" I heard from over my shoulder.
"Yeah, the wall's a really nice shade of beige today," I replied without missing a beat.
Getting caught intently studying the wall as I had been meant I probably couldn't get away with pretending I wasn't deep in thought. What else could I possibly have been doing?
I turned to the new arrival, gesturing for her to take a seat beside me. It was Nicole, a girl I worked with who was a couple years older than me, but similar enough in age that we could still relate to each other pretty well. We talked about semi-important stuff sometimes although nothing as big as my current issue. Still, discussion with someone other than myself might not be a bad idea.
"So what's up?" she asked. "You've seemed a little off the past couple days."
"I am. Girl troubles, in a manner of speaking."
"Huh, I didn't even know you were seeing anyone."
"I'm not. Not exactly anyway."
"Oh."
Nicole managed to say that one syllable in a way that made me suspect she instantly understood the problem, or thought she did.
"What do you mean 'oh'?" I said.
"Well, let me ask you this. Are you and this girl at a point where your relationship may have... changed, shall we say?"
"You could say that."
Had it actually changed? Maybe in the sense that we were now consciously aware that it would have to. I remembered hearing somewhere that merely observing an event can change it. Or something like that.
"Are you worried about what that change is going to mean?" Nicole asked carefully. "Do you think you're getting too close."
"More like we both know we can't get too close and I went and made it an issue. We were both comfortably ignoring it until I said something."
"Why, is she married or something?"
"No, and please don't try guessing," I said, preemptively bringing her next question to a halt. "It's not something I'm ready to let anyone else know about."
"Right, whatever."
Nicole gave me a funny look and I wondered if I had given it away by being too defensive. Could she know I was talking about my sister? Probably not, but she could suspect. Maybe talking hadn't been such a good idea.
"So basically I don't have a clue what to do," I continued regardless. "I don't want to hurt her, but maybe breaking it off is actually the best way to go in the long run. I can't help feeling like we're both going to get hurt no matter what we do."
"How do you feel about her?" Nicole asked, not responding directly to my last statement.
"Um, I don't know. I definitely lo... care about her."
I almost slipped up by saying I loved her. Not that it wouldn't be true, but it had different connotations for someone who wasn't my sister. It could give Nicole the wrong impression.
"Then maybe you need to figure out what you want for the two of you and worry about how to make it work afterward," she said.
I was tempted to dismiss the advice on the basis that the situation was more complex than that. It was, however, a new approach and that could be what I needed.
"That might be something to consider," I said.
"Think about it at least. I have to get back to pretending like I'm busy."
I gave Nicole a small, mostly genuine smile before she left. I appreciated her trying to help regardless of whether the advice turned out to be any good or not.It was at the very least interesting to consider. Always before the question had been what do we do given the circumstances we have. But what would it be like if we didn't have to worry about any of that? What exactly was my idea of the perfect relationship with my sister?
Part of the question was easy. I wanted us to be able to stay as close as we were now, if not closer, and not let anything come between us. I wanted to be able to hold her even if other people were watching and generally be able to show the affection I felt for her.
Then, there was the issue of sex, I wasn't entirely sure about that one. It would definitely depend on how Amy felt and it was something that could continue to be hidden if necessary. In some ways it wasn't even a major barrier.
The main problem was that we couldn't be both siblings and openly together. Some people might accept it but far too many wouldn't. There was the option I had toyed with of leaving for somewhere nobody knew us and trying to leave our heritage behind. It had seemed like an extreme measure, a last resort, and it would mean abandoning an important facet of our lives. We'd have to trade being siblings for being together and I didn't really want that.
Amy and me were more than just a brother and sister, perhaps irreversibly, but our sibling connection was still a huge part of who we were. I didn't want to lose it.
I snorted humourlessly to myself, I was back to the whole damned if I do, damned if I don't that I was far too familiar with. Even if I was going in circles I at least knew what I had to do next. It was time to talk to Amy again, even if there was the chance that I would only make things worse.
****
I managed to adjust my work schedule to have Saturday off and hoped that Amy wouldn't have other plans already. It probably would have made sense to just tell her I wanted to talk, or even start the conversation one of the nights while we sat together in the living room. It didn't feel right to do it that way though. It seemed better somehow to talk to her in the daytime without our routine overshadowing us.
We both tended to sleep in when given the chance, due in large part to how late we stayed up on a regular basis. When I did finally drag myself out of bed I didn't initially see Amy. It was only by sheer luck that I caught her heading out the door before she left.
"Hey," I said.
"Oh, hey. What's up?" Amy said.
"Nothing much. Where you going?"
"Just out for a walk."
I felt relieved that she wasn't going any farther than that. Plus it might give me a better opportunity than I thought I would get.
"Mind if I come along?" I asked.
"If you want."
I was getting a confused look from her, unsurprising given my usual apathy toward the concept of walking for its own sake. I understood that some people enjoyed it or did it for the exercise, it just wasn't what I would choose to satisfy either of those goals.
"Great. Hang on a second okay," I said.
"Sure."
Mostly I just had to grab my sneakers, but I also spent a moment taking a couple deep breaths. I wasn't nervous exactly, just aware of the importance of what I needed to do. Soon I was back and ready to go.
Neither of us said anything at first, we just started walking. I followed a couple steps behind before catching up and maintaining position beside my sister. Finally she looked at me curiously.
"So what's this about?" she asked. "I assume you want to talk to me about something."
"Can't I spend time with you just because I want to?" I didn't expect that explanation to fly even before Amy rolled her eyes at me. "Alright, alright. Yes I wanted to talk to you."
"I'm listening."
"I've spent a lot of time thinking the past few days. About you, about us more to the point." I saw her nod in acknowledgement as though she had done the same. "I guess I want to ask, what do you want? Ignoring everything else I mean, all the problems we have and trying to protect each other. If you could have any life you wanted, what would you choose?"
"I don't know," she said with a shrug.
I had expected a little more from her than that, something to work with. I probably hadn't explained myself very well.
"Okay, well I'll try to explain what I'm thinking then," I said. "You're basically the most important person in my life right now. By a lot. When I get home at night after work and you're there waiting for me, that's something I look forward to. And I think that means something."
"It means we got ourselves into a bad situation," Amy said.
"No! Well yes, actually we did I suppose. But it's not a no-win scenario. What if we just do what we want and accept the consequences? I think... I know I want to be with you. For real. But I need to know if you want that too."
Amy didn't say anything immediately and I was content to walk in silence for a while, letting her think it over. I was familiar with the area we were in of course, but I had no idea where we were going or even if she had a planned route in mind. We might just have been wandering at that point.
"People would find out eventually," I said after a long enough pause. "Most of them probably wouldn't like it, but if we had to we could always leave. It would mean losing contact with friends and...."
I cut myself off before mentioning mom and dad. They would be the hardest to deal with, and had the potential to take our relationship worse than anyone else. Not to mention how much I disliked the idea of Amy and me having to pretend we weren't brother and sister. It might be necessary at some point, but it would never be something I would enjoy.
"Screw them," Amy said out of nowhere.
"What?"
"Anyone who doesn't like what we do, they aren't people I want to be friends with anyway. Anyone who cares about us would learn to deal with it."
"So does that mean you've decided?"
"It means you made me realize that I've been worrying about other people. It's like speaking in front of an audience, doesn't matter what they think because being afraid of their reaction is always worse than the reaction itself."
Amy grabbed my arm and brought us both to a stop. A lone car drove by as we stared at each other for several long seconds.
Before either of us could say anything I pulled her to me and wrapped my arms around her. Almost instantly she returned my hug and pressed herself tightly against my body.
"It has to be for real though," she whispered into my ear. "We can't hide all the time or we'll be back where we started. You have to take me out places and hold my hand and everything."
"I can do that."
"And you have to kiss me."
Only when she pulled away and looked at me expectantly did I understand she meant right now. I smiled and moved in to kiss her, pulling her back to me as our lips met. We had kissed before but this was an entirely different experience, it had so much more meaning for both of us.
"That's it?" I asked.
"That's it," Amy confirmed. "I'm all yours."
"I like the sound of that. But what to do with you?"
I frowned in concentration as though I had to put some thought into the question.
"How 'bout you take me home and do some very naughty things to me."
"So quickly huh?" I said, unable to keep a grin off my face. "Hell of a first date."
"Don't think you're getting off easy," she warned. "You're gonna have to take me places still. Soon too, no putting it off and no blaming your schedule. I'm thinking a nice restaurant where we have to dress up and everything."
"Somewhere expensive you mean."
"Well, if you don't think I'm worth it...."
I kissed her again then looked at her seriously.
"You're definitely worth it," I said.
"Good, then let's go."
Amy took my hand and I let her drag me along for a few steps before catching up with her. Apparently public displays of affection weren't going to be a problem for her, and I wasn't having any of the hesitation so far that I'd expected. It felt surprisingly natural to show my love for my sister even when other people could see. Granted it wasn't like we were anywhere yet where people were likely to know us. We could work up to it.
The return home didn't take nearly as long as our slow, meandering path had initially and soon we were back. We snuck upstairs repressing nervous giggles, trying not to attract any attention from our parents since we weren't ready for that yet. Hopefully the issue wouldn't be forced for a while.
Amy's room was at the far end of the hall, probably the most private room in the house when it came down to it, and that was where we ended up without even discussing it. I barely had a chance to close and lock the door before she was tugging at me again, pulling me on top of her as she fell backward onto her bed. We kissed passionately as we groped at each other, letting our hands roam freely.
It didn't take long for Amy to start lifting my shirt and I did my best to help her. It was a fairly awkward process since I was partly supporting myself on my arms, but together we managed to get it over my head and out of the way. She then pulled me closer to her and lovingly nuzzled my shoulder.
"Probably should have undressed first," she said. "I don't want to let go now."
"Then don't."
Hampered by my sister clinging to me I still managed to get her shirt pulled up over her breasts, about as far as it would go with disentangling her. Her bra would come off easily enough if I just lifted her off the mattress a little, but I left it for the moment.
I made Amy lie back while I kissed the area just below her neck down to the tops of her breasts. Her bra got in the way before too long so I settled for sucking on her nipple through the material. Once I made a nice damp spot on the bra cup I moved to the other one and repeated the process. Her hands were on my back and tangling in my hair the whole time, not once letting go of me.
"Lift up your butt," I said.
Amy did as I asked and, switching back and forth between hands, I slowly worked her pants down far enough that she could kick them off. Almost before we finished with her pants she started on mine, which meant that she couldn't hold me down at the same time. Even though I could have pulled away any time I wanted, I took the opportunity she gave me to stand up briefly. She pouted at me and tried to hold on to my pants where she'd only been able to get them down past my hips.
"Just hold on a second, I'm not going anywhere," I said.
I finished stripping down to my underwear, not quite ready to get completely naked yet, while Amy removed her shirt. With that finished I took a moment to fully take in the sight of my sister in front of me. She still had her underwear on too, but it was far more revealing than anything I'd seen her in despite our unorthodox relationship. She squirmed impatiently as she waited for me to lie back down with her.
"What, are you going to just stare all day?" she demanded.
"No, not all day. Although that wouldn't be such a bad option either."
"Whatever. You can look all you want later, I want more than that right now."
She held her arms out to me, beckoning me back to her and I had no inclination to resist. Instead of resuming my previous position I lay down beside my sister and guided her on top of me. I felt more comfortable that way since it meant I wasn't focusing so much on keeping my weight off of her. She didn't have any such reservations about me and took very little time in molding her body to mine, attempting to bring us in to contact as much as possible.
Our legs tangled together and her breasts pressed against my chest as Amy adjusted herself. The feeling of so much of her bare skin moving over mine, as well as the knowledge of what we were about to do, was enough to get me fully erect. Her face was only inches away from mine and I could see her expression clearly as she discovered just how hard I was. Slowly her expression of shock faded into a wide grin and she started grinding on my crotch.
"It's so weird to feel it against my pussy," she whispered. "Kinda weird to be able to feel you like this at all, actually."
"I know what you mean. It's good though," I said.
"Mm-hm."
I reached around behind Amy to unclip her bra, which stayed mostly in place where she was lying on me. I then moved my hand to her butt and started sliding her panties down over her hips. Apparently having the same idea my sister simultaneously fumbled with my underwear and released my cock from where it had been trapped.
Amy didn't let up for long and continued rocking on my cock, sliding her pussy across the shaft without actually allowing penetration. She was definitely wet judging by the slickness I felt.
All of a sudden Amy pushed herself up on her arms, throwing her bra aside almost as an afterthought. I got my first view of her naked breasts then, so round and beautiful. I just stared at first until she started to blush, then I lifted my hands up to cup them tenderly in my palms. She let me play for a minute before saying anything.
"So, you ready to do this?" she asked.
"Yeah, pretty sure."
"But not certain?" She raised an eyebrow at me.
"I am certain, this is what I want. What we both want. There's still those little doubts though, you know? And maybe they won't ever go away, but they don't mean anything because this was the right decision."
"I know what you mean, I'm a little nervous about it too. It changes a lot, but in a good way. So we should do it now before anything has a chance to screw it up."
I could see it now in her eyes, the same emotions that were going through me. There was some fear there, but mostly it was love and a desire to be close to me in a way we hadn't been before.
We moved in unspoken agreement. Amy climbed off me to reposition herself more in a more traditional pose along the length of the bed with her head resting on her pillow. At the same time I finished removing my underwear, then helped Amy with hers.
I noticed that she tensed up a bit as I guided my cock between her legs. I didn't pay all that much attention since I assumed it was just a reaction to it being our first time together. It would pass. She nodded at me as I looked at her, assuring me that she was ready.
I started slowly to make sure I didn't hurt her even though the wetness I'd felt before had, if anything, increased. She was tight, tighter than I expected, but she should still be fine as long as I didn't push too hard too fast.
For some reason, despite everything appearing to be going well, I couldn't help getting the sensation that something was off. Something was wrong. It didn't make sense to me until I looked back to Amy's face and saw her expression of masked pain.
"Amy," I said.
"It's alright, just keep going."
She turned her head away from me and I immediately reached out to turn her face back toward me, forcing her to meet my gaze. It was all there in her eyes, in the slight grimace of discomfort on her lips.
"Amy," I repeated. "When were you going to tell me?"
It wasn't just her first time with me, it was her first time with anyone. In the initial rush of thought I couldn't understand why she hadn't said anything.
"Didn't know if I should," she whispered. "Not until after anyway. You'd make a big deal about it."
"I... well isn't it kind of a big deal?"
"It is to a lot of girls," she agreed. "And it is to me too. Do you know how many of them get to have their first time with someone they'll always love? Someone they aren't going to just break up with two weeks later? I'm glad it's you and I'm glad that we didn't plan this or anything. It just happened, like it should."
Amy raised her hand to my cheek and held it there for a moment.
"I knew it wouldn't be you, how could it ever be?" she continued. "But a part of me kept hoping. I thought those nights when I'd get you off were as far as we'd go, that even that was pushing my luck farther than it would hold. It was the only way to be close to you, it was the closest I could get."
"I'm sorry. I should have talked to you more, or something. I didn't mean to make you... but I guess it worked out in some ways."
"It worked out fine, everything's going to be better now." She took a deep breath and looked me straight in the eyes. "So are you going to fuck me or what?"
I smiled at the return of my sister's confident side, the part of her I was more familiar with. It had certainly taken more than a little courage for her to jerk me off those first few times, back before it became routine for us. I had never realized just how much it meant to her.
"Is it okay?" I asked.
"I'm fine, it doesn't hurt very much now. I think it'll get better if you just go gently."
I had even less intention of being rough with her than I had before, regardless of her request. Only barely moving at first, I resumed pushing into sister's pussy. I watched her face carefully but she seemed to have been telling the truth about the pain, and her features gradually showed signs of pleasure instead.
"You can go a little harder now," she said eventually.
I was still cautious but did speed up slightly like Amy wanted. She seemed to be relaxing somewhat which was probably a good sign. I just couldn't get over my sister still being a virgin, until a few minutes ago anyway. It seemed like something I should have known even though there really was no way I could have. I'd have to try harder in the future to make sure I found out anything important that I should know and not wait for it to be dropped on me all of a sudden.
Amy, perhaps noticing that I had become distracted by my thoughts, wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me down to where she could kiss me. It was a good reminder that I should be focusing on what was important. Right now the only thing that mattered was that we were together, everything else would keep until later.
I lowered my head to kiss her neck and she gave me a soft moan in return. She was responding better to my movements in general, making me think that she might be over the initial pain I had accidentally caused. She was even lifting her butt up slightly in time with my thrusts to try and get me as deep inside her as possible.
"Is it getting better?" I asked, just to confirm.
"Yeah, it's good now. Really good. I kinda wish we'd done this sooner."
"We weren't ready for it then."
"I know, I'm just saying."
Reassured that everything was fine I let go of some of my few remaining inhibitions and fucked my sister with less rigid self-control. It was such an amazing experience when I allowed it to be. Her pussy could have been designed for me the way it conformed perfectly to my cock when I was fully in her. Probably it was my imagination but it almost seemed to put up more resistance as I pulled out than it did going in, as though wanting to keep me inside. I wanted it to last forever, or for a longer time than I knew it would anyway.
With a faint look of surprise Amy came underneath me, throwing her head back and clutching tightly to me. She remembered to be quiet, or maybe that was just normal for her, which was good since I didn't think either of us really wanted to attract any attention at that point. As I watched her shaking in ecstasy beneath me it made me realize my own orgasm wasn't that far off either.
"Wow," Amy said breathlessly. "I think that's the first time anyone else ever got me off. I didn't know if it would actually happen."
"I think I still owe you a few, not that I'm keeping score," I said.
"Can't wait."
Talking was getting harder for me as I got closer and closer. Amy fortunately didn't try any more conversation and just lay back to let me finish at my own pace, no longer trying to hold me or kiss me like she had been before. It gave me a little more freedom of movement I suppose, but I kind of liked feeling her cling desperately to me.Then I was cumming, burying myself deep in my sister's pussy while my semen emptied into her. Probably I should have asked if it was okay first, but it just felt right and Amy really didn't seem to mind. She only smiled happily at me until I rolled off of her onto my back.
"It's too bad it's the middle of the day," I said after a moment. "Otherwise I'd probably be okay with just lying here and holding you all night."
"Well part of that is still doable."
I turned back onto my side and wrapped my arms around Amy as she snuggled up to me. The fact that it was still daylight out really was throwing me off, it felt like it should be around bedtime or, at the very least, not quite so bright and sunny outside. Maybe daylight just wasn't something I associated with sex so much, or Amy for that matter.
"So was it what you expected?" I asked.
"Yeah, kinda," she said. "Better in some ways. I'm still glad it was you."
"Me too," I agreed.
We stayed like that for a while, I didn't think I could get tired of feeling my sister so close to me even if we stayed there for days. We'd have to get up eventually of course, have to go back to pretending everything was normal. We'd need to decide whether to tell certain people about us or just let them find out, either way it wouldn't be easy. For the moment I only wanted to enjoy what I had and leave the details for later. They could wait.
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