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85% Body Language for Beginners / Chapter 17: Kissing

章 17: Kissing

Social status and context play a big part in who's allowed to kiss whom. The initiator of the kiss is usually the one who's on top of things. That's why men are expected to take the first step, they need to show confidence and control - attractive male characteristics.

Types:

Sign of Respect-

A man might kiss a woman's hand to show his admiration.

A sign of respect and submission. (Notice that this type of kiss appears below the head and chest area, it's a nonverbal cue that the participants are not equal in status.)

Kissing on equal ground, like a kiss on the cheek, shows mutual respect, where's no side dominates the other.

And lastly, when we kiss someone from above, like kissing their forehead - it's a symbol for patronage and protection. That's why we can see it in situations where one side comforts and supports the other. Like a parent soothing their crying child.

We view the kissing gesture in high regard, kept for occasions when we truly like or respect something, don't discard it or use it too freely as you can offend many others. That's why "kiss my ass" sounds so offensive and absurd to us , we hold kissing in high regard and our asses in a much lower one.

Platonic VS Not-so-platonic Kiss on the Cheek

Puckered lips VS loose lips - Puckering your lips is one of the main signals that this kiss is going to be platonic. When we pucker we tense and close our mouth - not an inviting environment for a kiss of passion. For a more romantic kiss, keep your lips looser and softer.

Kiss placement - In a platonic scenario the kiss should be in the middle of the cheek, not too close for the mouth, but not too close to the ear either. To play it even safer, you can do an air kiss - just touch cheek to cheek and do the smacking sound of the lips in the air.

*When you do mean business, do place that kiss near the mouth or closer to the ear.*

Timing - like hugging, or any other type of touch - the longer you retain the touch the more intimate the meaning becomes. A platonic kiss on the cheek is brief, the non platonic is a little longer. I repeat, a little longer, you don't need to count to 10 and then release.


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