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66.66% MY CAT IS AN ALIEN, AND HE LOVES COFFEE / Chapter 2: MY CAT IS SENTIENT AND INSANE

章 2: MY CAT IS SENTIENT AND INSANE

I came to on my couch.

Smokey was watching me, his back hunched in nervousness. Groaning, I rolled off the soft sofa and hit the floor with a muffled bang.

"Ouch."

Smokey turned and leaped up to his cat stand, eyes wide.

"Smokey, what happened?" I asked. Then I slapped myself. Cats couldn't talk. I was wasting my time...

"I might've kinda accidentally slammed you into the wall."

I leaped to my feet, whirling my head left and right. Who said that? The voice was strange, like it was bouncing around the walls of my head... I briefly remembered the true crime dramas I had watched in my teens; how the killers would sometimes drive the victim insane before going in for the kill. Was that what was happening to me?

"Show yourself!" I screamed, my voice cracking with terror. "Come on!" My scrabbling fingers closed around a telephone and I yanked it from the wall without hesitation. "I am armed and dangerous!"

"It's me, Smokey."

I let out a choked yell and, in my bout of insanity, hurled the telephone with all my might at Smokey, my harmless Siamese cat.

"Smokey!" I yelled, realizing my mistake milliseconds too late. The wall mounted appliance sailed at him at full speed...

And came to a halt inches from his face, hovering in the air.

The air around him rippled with force, brushing his smooth fur back against his skin. I stared in bewilderment. The coffee incident... It wasn't just a hallucination...

S-Smokey? Smokey, what's going on?! Smokey, how did you do that?! How did you..."

"Just calm down, woman. Take a seat."

Smokey hopped off the cat stand and plopped himself on the coffee table, eyes glinting. I crashed into the sofa, my face frozen in shock.

Neither of us spoke.

Both of us stared.

"What's your name?" Smokey asked.

The silence shattered, jolting me from my state. "What?"

"What's your name?"

"E-Everly."

"Good. You haven't gotten amnesia from the shock. Most humans do that."

"What are you?"

"What am I? I'm a cat. Obviously."

"You're... You're not a cat. You're a dream. A hallucination."

The Siamese did his best impression of rolling his eyes. "Why do all humans think that?"

"You threw me against the wall. You can float things. You're not a cat."

"Actually, I know you'll find this crazy, but all cats can do that."

I pause. "All cats?" I ask, my voice squeaky.

"Well, not all of them, but most."

I sit on the sofa and put my hands to my temples.

"Okay. Start from the beginning."


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