3レビュー
- テキストの品質
- アップデートの安定性
- ストーリー展開
- キャラクターデザイン
- 世界の背景
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Good work on your novel. I like real MCs, not like those in Chinese novels who'd wait for an eternity to be intimate with FL. (I assume we will get there. haha.) Most of my comments will be for Writing Quality. **I think there were some paragraphs that were too long especially in the second chapter. **While some lines impressed me, there were others that confused me a little. For example: "Before his food arrived and he had to go up for the shoot, Shawn opened another chat window and sent a "Hi." I wish I had the technical knowledge to explain to you but in writing, I just go "It sounds right to me." So Maybe, review some of the paragraphs and see if it can easily be understood and your sentences aren't compounded. Good luck! :)
From what I read so far, the MC seems very mysterious. The story doesn't immediately reveal all the information about him. I really like how the author explains each scene clearly. I also found no grammar mistakes.
The story is great and Has potential. If you look at the grammar, the author is well versed in writing. The character is also mysterious. To the interested readers you have to read it first
Good work on your novel. I like real MCs, not like those in Chinese novels who'd wait for an eternity to be intimate with FL. (I assume we will get there. haha.) Most of my comments will be for Writing Quality. **I think there were some paragraphs that were too long especially in the second chapter. **While some lines impressed me, there were others that confused me a little. For example: "Before his food arrived and he had to go up for the shoot, Shawn opened another chat window and sent a "Hi." I wish I had the technical knowledge to explain to you but in writing, I just go "It sounds right to me." So Maybe, review some of the paragraphs and see if it can easily be understood and your sentences aren't compounded. Good luck! :)
From what I read so far, the MC seems very mysterious. The story doesn't immediately reveal all the information about him. I really like how the author explains each scene clearly. I also found no grammar mistakes.
The story is great and Has potential. If you look at the grammar, the author is well versed in writing. The character is also mysterious. To the interested readers you have to read it first