章 650: Patrolling Ⅱ
Glancing at the time again, Rowan leans back against the tower to read when she hears soft footsteps coming up the Astronomy Tower. She presses herself into the shadows and waits for the figure to emerge from the stairs. To her surprise, she sees nothing but clearly hears the soft muffled footsteps getting closer.
Sighing to herself, Rowan loudly says, "Potter remove that infernal invisible cloak of yours this instance before I forcibly do it myself."
There is an abrupt shocked silence as slowly the cloak is removed to reveal the shimmering cloak being held in the surprised hand of James Potter. Shorter than Rowan, thin with hazel eyes and untidy black hair stuck up at the back, James apprehensively adjusts his glasses. "Prince," James somewhat stiffly said after a pause recalling past journal entries.
"I know you've been aware of my cloak for some time, but how did you know that I was here?" James blurted out a bit perplexed.
"You are rather loud as per usual," Rowan drily stated as she crossed her arms over her chest still leaning in the shadows against the wall. She hated repeating past answers and conversations. It was a tedious annoyance.
"I see," James thoughtfully murmurs not having noticed his own actions. It would seem that his Auror skills were rather rusty after all. A flash of pain and old guilt twist in his stomach as he tries not to think about his abrupt death.
Forcing his mind away from his death, James warily glances up and asks, "Am I in any trouble?"
"Ten points from Gryffindor," Rowan grumbled. "Now scurry back to your tower, Potter. It's late and tomorrow, we have class."
James instead turns to stare out of the tower at the dark grounds lit up by the moon and stars. "I couldn't sleep," James admitted out loud.
Which was true. His thoughts at night were always filled with nightmares of the war that was to come, and his own death. Could he change the future? But the world that which he knew was so very starkly different to that which he already knew. Did he even dare to meddle again? He thought he was doing right by condemning Pettigrew, but he had since been proven wrong. And now he was not sure of anything anymore especially after his date with Lily at Hogsmeade.
The events of that day had severely shaken his beliefs to the core leaving him floundering in that regard. But even more so, his softening to Rowan Prince. A part of him on general principles did not wish to be friends with such a complex person, but another part of him felt at ease and comfortable with her like seeing an old friend.
It was not that he was truly against having a friendship with Rowan Prince, but he'd never been close to any other girl other than Lily. He had certainly had female friends, but never anyone who had gotten close not like that at least. That, and well, Rowan Prince did not remind him of the past, not like the rest of his friends, it was a bewildering sort of relief amid a constant sea of emotional turmoil.
Rowan tilts her head to the side studying the exhausted gaze of her once called friend. A part of her starchy refused, but a part of her could not bear to see that expression on her face, but she truly did not want to emotionally comprise herself even more. With each passing interaction, she felt that the carefully built wall was crumbling down as she fought against slipping into old habits and returning to something closer to their old friendship.
Still, Rowan was unable to stop herself as the words spilled out of her mouth of their own accord. "I will listen, Potter, if you so desire."
A flicker of surprise flashes through his hazel eyes as James wonderingly counters, "And why would I?"
"Because you don't consider us friends," Rowan flatly pointed out.
James is silent for a moment, before retorting back, "That is not entirely true, and the same can be said about you-." He slowly added, "Rowan," for the first time ever having called the Slytherin by her first name.
Rowan's lips twitch into a faint bittersweet smile. "As much as I would like to lie to us both, a part of me will always see you as my friend, James," Rowan finally admitted the truth out loud. "No matter the fact that we are all but strangers to each other again."
James turns to meet her dark gaze to find the truth in her eyes. Swallowing he takes a step back and hastily looks away. "And what if I am not the James, you remember? Not even close?"
"We all eventually change," Rowan murmured. "Some sooner or later, but we all grow up." Which was a painful truth, and fact of life.
Rowan paused to glance at him and said, "And even if you aren't the James that I know and remember, you're still James Fleamont Potter."
There is a strange expression on James's face as if unsure of what to believe. Turning back to glance out at the night scenery, he says, "I have been permitted by Professor Dumbledore to start a magical defense club. He requires a Prefect to be present at all times, but I am at present searching for a Professor as well to become our club accessor."
"I cannot commend a professor, but for the Prefect, I would recommend, Severus," Rowan instantly replied. "He's a superb duelist with unmatched instincts that even surpass my own. And that is no lie, rather a fact. However, I would suggest that he not be asked until after the Halloween Feast, but before the exams to be held at the end of the term."
James sharply glances at the tall, slender raven-haired girl, but her midnight black, indigo eyes gaze solemnly back at him. Slowly he tilts his head and says, "And would he agree to such a request?" Seeing her expression, he quickly adds, "What I mean to say, I know that we are becoming fast friends now, but I do not if he would be willing at this time with his Prefect duties and all."
"He is the fifth marauder," Rowan ironically answered. "And whether you can recall your friendship or not is irrelevant as Severus still considers you, James Potter, his friend. I would think you would know that by now, Potter considering all of my brother's sincere efforts."
"I know," James reluctantly admitted out loud. He understood then anyone considering his growing friendship with Severus-. That budding friendships especially filled him with guilt, shame, and remorse regarding the actions of his past. The reckless, arrogant behavior of his youth became only more evident as he read the diaries of the version of himself in this world, and which succeeded in furthering his guilt and remorse.
Reading the diaries forced James to confront himself even further. The version of himself that wrote the diaries was so like him that at times it almost made him question himself. And yet at the same time the more he read, the stark difference between the two of them could be seen.
Much like this version, James possessed the capability to be almost friends with everyone except for Slytherins. As a child, the world seemed to be black and white. Gryffindor was good, and Slytherin was evil, and the two of them had shared that much in common until the start of Hogwarts.
For James did not begin to see the truth until he was an adult. The lines he had always seen so clearly drawn were not as distinct as before. He had been so very wrong about so many things and realized that stark truth far too late in his life to make a difference. And unlike him, the version of himself in this world had learned that lesson as a child and was much a better person than he had ever been in his youth.
It hurt to realize that James would have liked to meet the version of himself in this world. Even more so as he began to feel a thief, who had stolen someone else's entire life away. However, there would be no restitution, absolutely nothing he could do to right the wrong of possessing another's body. And it was more unredeemable sin on his plate.
Seeing James turning pale as if a panic atack is about to hit him, Rowan murmured, "It's late, James," and turned away privately cursing herself for the slip of her tongue in calling out his name. "Try and get some sleep. Tomorrow is Monday, and it's always rough."
James lets out a choking laugh and manages to pull himself back from the brink of a panic attack. Rubbing his forearms to bring himself back, his lips twitch into a weak smile. "Always the worried one, eh, Rowan?" And it was true, because she always seemed to be just there to help him, when he needed her, and said fact greatly startled him for some unknown reason.
Rowan sharply stares at James noticing the flash of surprise on Potter's face, before fading away. "I suppose so," Rowan drily said. "It comes with the territory when one becomes friends with annoying Gryffindors."
James lets out a weak chuckle as he gathers his cloak around him. Turning away, he begins to cover himself, before pausing at the last moment. Turning back briefly, he says, "Goodnight, Rowan," before disappearing under the invisible cloak and then into the night.
"Goodnight, James," Rowan firmly answered with mixed feelings as this was her third name slip up and quietly watched him depart. His footsteps fade away leaving her alone in the Astronomy Tower.
Once she was certain that she was alone, Rowan tiredly closes her eyes a mix of feeling creep up and well up inside her chest. She knew that her friend was gone, but worse yet, she so very easily accepted this other James Potter. Was she such a terrible person? Or maybe, just maybe, she didn't want to imagine a world where James Potter did not exist even if it wasn't the same one that she had known. And she absolutely refused to search deep within herself to truly ask the reason as to why.
Sorely vexed, Rowan snaps her eyes open and teleports away to another area of the castle. She had Prefect duties to complete. And without any further thought, she goes on to catch six more wandering students by the time her scheduled patrol was over and done with. That and she was in a much more chipper mood by the end of the evening.
クリエイターの想い 
EsliEsma
EsliEsma James was only 21 years old when he died. Fairly young to be married or have a child. He still had plenty of growing up to do and part of that process would be to realize that he was a shitty human being.
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