章 39: Hospitalised

|Innaya|

I restlessly paced in the living room, glancing every now and then towards the door and my mobile. Eshan had said, he would return before three and it was almost seven now. Where was he?

'Is he ok? Why his mobile is not reachable? Where has he gone leaving office in afternoon itself?' Different questions, situations swirled in my mind as I tried Eshan's number for the umpteenth time. I groaned to myself as the operator repeated the same tape of his mobile being switched off.

I should not have let him leave in the morning. Should I call his friends?

There was strange unsettling feeling brewing in my heart and for some unknown reasons, it wouldn't let me breathe properly. I searched for Arjun's number, hoping he would know about Eshan whereabouts.

I found it within few seconds.

My mobile started ringing suddenly with an unknown number when I was about to call to Arjun. 'Who is it? Is it Mr. Roy?' No, he wouldn't know this number. It must be Eshan or I was atleast hoping it to be him.

"Hello, Eshan?" I inquired hurriedly with the thudding heart. Only if I knew what awaited at the other end. I staggered backward as I listened to the woman at the other end. Tears gathered in my eyes and I felt my throat clogging up with the rush of emotions. The call was disconnected long back and yet I stood still as if someone had frozen the time. I couldn't think, I couldn't react.

With trembling hands, I opened the door we were directed to. If it was not for Ayush's firm hold around me, I would have long ago crumbled on the floor or worse would not have made to the current place.

A sudden sob left my mouth as I took in the unconscious figure lying on the bed with the drip attached to his body. He looked pale than the morning. I was vaguely aware of Ayush leading me near the bed and making me sit on the stool before I clutched the bed for support.

"Mrs. Singhaniya, your husband is fine now; he will gain his conscious in about an hour." I looked up through my blurry vision towards the person I had not noticed until then, smiling politely at me. I assumed through his appearance that the middle age man was the doctor treating Eshan as he had a stethoscope in his one hand and he had donned the white coat. He adjusted his spectacles on his face before he wrote something on the file he had in his other hand.

"What happened to him, Doctor?" I stood up mustering every ounce of my courage, asking him about what exactly happened that Eshan was laying here in such a condition. My throat was choking with all emotions I felt at that moment and my anxiety was increasing with every passing second.

The woman who had called me earlier was the receptionist at the city hospital. She informed me that they had Eshan admitted to their hospital. Apparently, he had passed out on the highway and someone brought him to hospital.

"His blood pressure had lowered and he was having a high fever. I think he hasn't had enough fluid that was also the reason he fainted. We have taken his blood samples for test. Let's wait till reports arrive." The doctor answered checking Eshan's pulse.

My head snapped at that, though I was talking with the doctor yet my gaze was fixed on my husband. I lifted my gaze towards the Doctor, crossing my fingers in process praying to the God.

"You said report, anything...anything serious Doctor?" My heartbeat fastened, sweat beads started forming on my forehead. Even the thought of something bad happening to him was causing an ache in my heart.

The doctor smiled in assurance. "Nothing Serious Mrs. Singhaniya, it's just precautionary. We have talked to your family doctor, Mr. Sharma, to take Mr. Singhaniya's medical history. Mr. Singhaniya's friend was here, she gave us Mr. Sharma's and your number."

Friend? Who? Different questions were ready to crowd my brain but it was not important now.

"Thank you very much, Doctor," I said, genuinely expressing my gratitude.

Ayush walked with the doctor outside the room, leaving me with unconscious Eshan. I pulled the stool nearer to his bed. Then deciding otherwise, I sat beside him. Tears welled up in my eyes as I took in his frail form. Suddenly, he looked pale, very pale, and weak. I could not move, I could not think as if I lost my ability of thinking. I reached for his hand and clasped mine with his. His skin felt feverish against my cold one.

How I wished I had never let him go in the first place. Nothing would have happened then. Why? What was so important? It was my entire fault, how could I be so ignorant? Even after witnessing his condition last night, I had allowed him to leave, only if I had insisted more and stopped him. How could I be so careless? What kind of a wife was I? Careless?

"Eshan...Why do you defy me? Why?" I clamped on my lower lip hard with my teeth, to prevent sob escaping through it. I rested my forehead on our joined palms, closing my eyes.

What if something else, had happened to him? What if... My blood ran cold at the slightest possibilities of what ifs. My resolve of staying strong, crumpled like a heap of cards. I hugged him as I let loose of my emotions and cried on his chest, letting out all the pent-up anxiety, frustration, pain, hurt, and every single emotion I went through for the whole day. My cries were muffled because of the fist I had on my lips and the way I had clamped my teeth.

All the time of our togetherness flashed before my eyes, doubling my guilt and pain. He had been there with me on every step, fulfilling everything before I had even asked for it.

What I gave back to him? I brought him to the hospital. That reality made me cry harder and tears continuously escaped my eyes. The realization of how much attached I am to him hit me like a thunderbolt. How badly I craved for his voice, his presence, his attention, his assurance, and most importantly him, throughout the day, struck me hard.

Lost in my own agony, I would have missed the movement below me if not for the sudden hiss of pain. Abruptly I pulled myself from Eshan. His eyes were shut. Did I not hear properly?

I stared at his face, hoping he would just wake up. Then it happened. His fingers twitched and his eyes fluttered before he opened them and closed them next moment. This time he slowly opened his eyes, adjusting to the sudden light.

I wanted to call him, ask him about his well-being but I couldn't.

"Innaya?" He looked at me in confusion. "Where am I?"

"Hey." Eshan tugged at his hand I had clutched in my hold, near my heart.

He tugged at my lower lip once I released his hand; the stinging pain brought me back of whatever trance I was lost in.

"Is it hurting?" He pressed his thumb at the corner of my lips.

"Huh?" I stared at his face not knowing what he was asking.

"Your lip... It's bleeding."

I darted my tongue and traced the corner, surely, I tasted the blood.

"Don't cry, Tesoro. It's alright. I am alright," Eshan tried assuring but his weak voice told the other story.

I straightened my back and stood up, leaving his hold reluctantly. I wiped my face clean with the red Kashmiri stole around my neck.

"I'll call the doctor." I turned and almost ran out of the room ignoring his calling. How would I face him? The guilt and disappointment resurfaced as soon as I stood out of his room. I closed my eyes as I breathed deeply.

"Are you alright?" The sudden touch on my shoulder and the concerned voice had me tilt my head in the direction of the owner.

I nodded my head at Ayush. "Eshan is awake; could you please call the doctor?" I requested him and he left after nodding.

I just couldn't face Eshan right now. Not with the mind frame, I was in. I wanted to lash at him, scold him, and hit him, for putting me in this condition and at the same time, I wanted to apologize for being responsible for his this condition.

I collapsed on the bench beside me, with my head in my hands. I did not understand what was happening anymore. Tears gathered in my eyes again. Why was I being so emotional?