章 29: Chapter 29: Feeling Alone
Yuzu was frozen on her knees in front of the door for nearly ten minutes with the false hope that the younger girl would walk back through it, but it never came and Yuzu eventually managed to pull herself up against the wall as she continued to sob.
She didn't know why she felt this way about it. Her heart clenched every time she thought back to her girlfriend sitting in the chair crying her eyes out, or refusing to be touched in any way by her and Yuzu knew it was her fault. Yet here she was, crying like a heartbroken teenager. This didn't make any sense to Yuzu, she was the one that had hurt Mei, drove her away, and yet she felt like Mei had left her which technically she did but only for a break over the weekend.
A break was what Mei left for, to get away from the blonde for a bit, but Yuzu felt like she had been walked out on. She had never seen Mei like this before and never had she upset her enough that she felt like she had to leave for several days just because she didn't want to see her.
She would be back in three days, Mei said that, but Yuzu felt so alone as if her partner was never coming back. She needed Mei, Yuzu felt like she couldn't breath knowing she had driven Mei so far away that she couldn't stand the sight of her.
It was self-inflicted, it was her fault, nothing could change that but she still felt hollow inside. Was Mei really going to come back? If she did would she even forgive Yuzu or would it be awkward silence the entire time?
Slowly getting to her feet, Yuzu made her way to their room to get her phone before sluggishly walking back to the living room where she curled up under the covers on the couch. She had to try again, get Mei to come back. Drying her eyes and clearing her throat as best she could, Yuzu pressed Mei's caller ID and waited with knots of anxiety in her stomach. Just before Yuzu knew the call was going to cut off and go to voice mail the line picked up and she heard the soft sound of an engine.
It was silence on both sides of the phone for nearly a minute, Yuzu could feel herself clamming up but she had to do this.
"Mei?" Her voice was quiet, almost inaudible. The silence continued for several more seconds on the other side of the phone before Mei spoke, and like Yuzu expected it was slightly cold but most of all it was still as chipped as before.
So she's been crying too...
"Yes Yuzu, what is it?" Yuzu felt herself cringe at how she had put Mei in such a state, but she wanted to fix it.
"Come home, please... I need you," Yuzu buried herself deeper under the covers as if it would give her some sort of security. She heard a sigh on the other side of the phone, it wasn't a heavy sigh more like a sad one that weighed a great amount of thought.
"Yuzu, I already told you I can't,"
"Why not? I'm sorry Mei, I really am so please come home." Yuzu tried again, she really needed the younger girl home at the moment. She felt like her heart was on the verge of collapsing.
"I asked you to be honest with me and you couldn't. Even when I asked you a second and third time you still couldn't tell me the entire truth, you do it more than you think and I just wanted you to be completely honest with me for once, but you couldn't. Unless you have had a change of heart in the past twenty minutes that is." Mei started off rather quiet but by the end of her sentence, Yuzu could hear the anger and annoyance in her voice, not that the blonde was completely sure of the times she was being accused of.
"Mei I don't know what other times you are talking about but I did tell you the truth... I don't want to fight with you, last night was really nice and I don't want to ruin it by fighting over something like this. You don't have to go to Gramp's place, just come back home... please, Mei," Yuzu, unlike Mei, had started off stronger than when she finished, she felt like she was on the side of a losing battle.
Mei sat for a moment and debated with herself whether she should recite the list to the blonde she had in her mind of all the times Yuzu had kept something from her. But it didn't exactly seem like the right time to be putting the girl down for that.
"I don't think we need to get into that at the moment but as of now, I believe I am closer to Grandfathers house than our's and unless you can tell me who it was, and I know you know who it was, then I'm going to his house. I know you are upset Yuzu and I don't want to leave after last night, but you have gotten into a habit of keeping things from me and I've had enough. I want to be in bed with you sleeping right now but I won't just sit there and let you lie to me again. I know you are keeping something from me and I don't know if it is trust issues or it's someone we both know and you don't want to tell me but I don't care. Until you tell me who it was I'll be at Grandfathers over the weekend." Mei felt bad about what she was saying but every word of it was true, she didn't want Yuzu to think she didn't care about her and that's why she wasn't giving in to her pleas but she couldn't just give in.
"I don't lie to you, Mei," Yuzu said but her voice was still weak, she didn't want this argument she just wanted her girlfriend to come home.
"Yuzu, you kept your fear and story about your father and the piano from me until I had to force it out of you-" Mei stated but she was cut off as Yuzu's voice grew loud for the first time. "You can't use that against me, Mei! That was a problem of mine, and I didn't lie to you about that!" Although she wasn't shouting her voice had taken a defensive tone at her past being brought up and used against her. Mei, however, was quick to interject her argument with one of her own.
"Yes, it was a problem of yours yet you felt you could tell Matsuri and Harumi but not me, your damn girlfriend. Who you are supposed to lean on for support, on top of that I asked you multiple times if everything was okay and every time you said yes." Mei said bitterly. If Yuzu really wanted to have this conversation she would, but it would do nothing to get her back to their house that morning.
"Okay, fine I get it but I already told you that I was sorry for that and I only didn't tell you because I didn't want to stop you from playing. Besides, that was almost two months ago Mei," Yuzu lost most of her defensiveness, she wanted Mei to come home and if she needed to get all this off her chest Yuzu would take it.
"When we went to buy the car you told me about your job, that you refused to tell me about until you already had it because you didn't want me to say no. You deliberately waited to tell me until my opinion would be useless. The night before that you had a strange phone call with someone, and after you tried to tell me that it was just Catty, I asked you to promise you weren't lying you didn't answer me. Oh and I spoke to Tyler a few days ago, you said you were going out to lunch with him when I asked you to come to the music lessons with me, well you should have picked a better friend to lie about it because I saw straight through him. Now, on top of all of this, you tell me you love me over and over again only to dream about sleeping with someone else and lie to me about knowing who it was. I think all of those count as lying to me." Mei could feel herself getting worked up just talking about it, but it needed to be said. If Yuzu thought it was okay just to lie to her all the time she was wrong.
"Mei you know exactly why I lied about meeting Tyler, I didn't want to let you down... But I'm sorry about all the rest of them, I didn't mean for any of them to come across as lying. The job thing I knew you would say no but I really needed that job and I couldn't risk you saying no, I never meant for you to feel like this because of it." Yuzu felt like an ant, so small. She hadn't realised how many times in the past two months she had kept things from Mei, given some of them were related to her troubles with the piano and she thought those were somewhat acceptable excuses. Mei wasn't even supposed to hear her making that appointment so she couldn't do anything but lie about it, you know it wasn't as if she could have just said 'Oh yeah it was an appointment to buy you an engagement ring' could she?
"The dream... I don't want to tell you because I'm embarrassed Mei, It has nothing to do with lying or not trusting you. I promise." Yuzu could feel the tears prickling at her eyes again, Mei listing every time she had made the younger girl feel like she was being lied to was making Yuzu feel like a failure as her girlfriend. She didn't think it was normal for couples to be able to list things off the top of their heads so quickly, along with this Yuzu could hear the anger in Mei's voice.
"Well... It looks like I'm not coming home then." Mei spoke coldly through the phone. She had sympathy for the older girl, sure if she had had a sex dream she would be embarrassed about telling Yuzu who it was as well, but if it was to stop her from leaving Mei felt she would tell Yuzu in a heartbeat. Yet Yuzu wasn't willing to do the same for her?
"I'm afraid I'm going to have to go Yuzu, I'll see you on Sunday like planned. Goodbye," Mei spoke after a long silence, her voice came across more strained that she would have liked.
"No Mei, plea-" Before she could finish the line went dead and all Yuzu could hear was her sniffling under the thick duvet.
She didn't say 'I love you' and she didn't let me say it... why does she have to be like this? Yuzu thought as she dropped her phone to her chest. Yuzu said why she didn't want to tell her but she still refused to come back, then she didn't say those three magic words that would have told Yuzu that everything was alright. No, now she was curled up under their quilt letting endless tears fall down her cheeks, before finally tiring herself out and falling asleep.
Yuzu awoke to the beeping of her phone, the lit up screen burned her dry eyes as she squinted at the vibrating device. After several failed attempt of opening her eyes wide enough to see the screen the ringing stopped and the phone went black. With her rather rude awakening over, Yuzu slowly uncurled her stiff body from the ball under the duvet where she had fallen asleep the previous night, her back ached and her legs were tense as she tried to stretch them out.
After several more seconds of adjusting her eyes and getting into a more comfortable position, she seemed to remember just why she was there in the first place and when the realisation hit she sunk back down under the covers to feel at least some form of warmth. Her phone beeped again, this time the chime was for her messages. Raising her phone to her face Yuzu turned on her phone and watched as the list of notifications shuffled down her screen, the most recent being a text from Harumin.
Before she attempted to read the message from her friend, Yuzu glanced to the top of her phone and was slightly shocked to see that it was already past one in the afternoon, meaning she had missed her class today.
Groaning, Yuzu flicked to the bottom of her list and slowly started pinging away all the futile notifications, some from games some saying who had liked her posts but nothing of great importance. When she was finished she had three messages and two missed calls she actually needed to respond to. The two missed calls Yuzu saw were from Harumi and Yuzu guessed that was what had woken her up, but her throat was dry and she didn't really feel like talking to anyone at the moment. Moving to her messages Yuzu saw three names in the dark back: Harumin, Jasmin and Mama.
Harumin: Why aren't you answering your phone?
Yuzucchi?
Hello?
You said you wanted to meet me for lunch after your class today, where are you? I'm waiting in the cafe for you.
YUZUCCHI! I've been sitting alone for like ten minutes I look weird as hell, are you nearly here?
Jasmin: Hey, just wondering what you had planned to do this weekend I'm looking forward to it. Oh, and btw thought you might like to know that Mei skipped class today, that or you know she was ill, anyways I took some notes and thought if she wanted them I could lend them to her when we meet up this weekend. Let me know if she does kay :)
Mama: Good morning Yuzu, I didn't know if you had class so I didn't want to call but I was wondering what you are doing for Mei's birthday? It's next Friday and I wanted to know if you two are planning on coming down to see me and her father, or we can come up and see you. Can you call me when you get this, please? Love you xx
Thinking it best to deal with the most immediate problem first, Yuzu pulled up Harumin's messages again and started typing. She had completely forgotten about agreeing to meet up with her friend for lunch and with how she was feeling after what had happened early that morning, she didn't really want to.
'Hey, Harumin sorry I didn't pick up, I only just woke up. I don't think I can come out today though. I'm really sorry, please don't be too mad x'
Sending the text as quickly as possible Yuzu didn't have to wait long until her phone beeped again.
'Thought you had class?' Yuzu sighed.
'Yeah I did but I slept in and I missed it. I'm not feeling up to leaving the house so can we reschedule?' Yuzu felt Mei was already mad enough at her and probably wouldn't appreciate Yuzu spreading what had happened the night before.
'I don't have much choice, do I? Is everything alright, did it go okay with Mei last night? She didn't get mad at you for asking what was bothering her did she?'
Yuzu smiled at the message, it was sweet that her friend cared about her like this.
'No she was really good about it all, she opened up about it and we talked it all out. I'm fine just going to spend today chilling.' Yuzu sent the text and after getting a few more texts from her friend confirming that Mei hadn't made Yuzu upset after what the blonde had done for her that afternoon, gave a brief goodbye letting Yuzu move onto her next set of messages.
Yuzu looked at the text from Jasmin, it made sense that Mei didn't show up for class today but Yuzu didn't think now would be an appropriate time to meet with the girl. She already had Mei thinking she was dreaming about sleeping with other people, now didn't seem like a good time to be meeting up with the one girl Mei suspected wanted to be with the blonde.
Thinking for a few moments before she started typing, 'hey, thanks for the offer but Mei is actually away visiting her Grandfather so I don't think she will need them. Also, I'm sorry to do this but some stuff came up and I can't meet with you this weekend. Can we do it another time?'
Yuzu felt bad blowing Jasmin off when she had done nothing wrong, but patching things up with Mei was more important than getting lunch with her friend.
After several minutes of dazing in and out of thought about what Mei might have been doing right now, the familiar chime brought her focus back to the phone. Reading the quick text from Jasmin saying she understood and that it was fine Yuzu put her phone down and started up at the ceiling.
Would Mei still be mad at her? It has been almost twelve hours since Yuzu had last spoken to her, maybe that was enough time for the younger girl to cool off. Yuzu was sure that Mei had stayed up once she got to her grandfathers, by the time she got there he would be up and doing his morning routine before heading to the school. Yuzu assumed that Mei would have showered had something to eat and went to the school with him, got caught up and most likely attend whatever meetings the eldest Aihara had planned for the day. She hoped that Mei would have given coming back home some thought but knowing the younger girl, she was probably doing everything in her power to avoid thinking about it.
Yuzu couldn't call her mother as she had no idea what her and Mei's plans for Friday were or if they would even be on speaking terms by then. Yuzu prayed to God that they would, but she couldn't make a decision about what they were going to be doing if Mei wasn't here and Yuzu knew her mother would want to talk to Mei while she was on the phone and that would probably be slightly awkward.
Taking her phone bank in her hands, Yuzu brought up her mother's messages. 'Morning Mama, sorry for the late reply. About Mei's birthday, we haven't talked about it yet so I don't know what we will be doing. I'll message or call you to tell you what we have planned once we've figured it out. Love you too x' Sending the message, Yuzu felt herself frowning when she read over it again. She hadn't discussed it with Mei and she didn't know if Mei would even talk to her properly about it. Yuzu thought it would be best to wait until Mei was back in the house before they started making the plans for her birthday.
Yuzu wasn't sure how she was going to spend her day. She had already missed her class and cancelled her plans for not only today but for the entire weekend, so she really had nothing to do. She didn't think Mei would be persuaded to come home unless she told her the one thing Yuzu didn't want to, and most probably wouldn't. She already felt like crap from the argument last night and the guilt of driving her loved one away was gnawing away at her, she just wanted to forget about it until Mei was back in the house.
She had thought about trying to study but every time she tried to think of something it always linked back to the younger girl, no matter how hard she tried not to. She didn't want to spend the say in their bedroom as that would just act as a reminder of what had happened, Yuzu wanted to try and not think about it for as long as possible hopefully until the younger girl returned home at whatever time on Sunday evening.
Several minutes of thought and a quick bathroom break later, Yuzu sat back down underneath the covers and after a moment of consideration, started up her ps4 and began playing one of her games. It seemed like a good past time and a way of trying to avert her focus toward something else. Yuzu knew she was the one in the wrong, she had hurt the younger girl probably more than she ever had in the past few months and tonight had obviously been her breaking point, but if Yuzu didn't want to explain to Mei what had happened in her dream then why should she? So here she planned to sit for the next two days, grinding away on her video games and ordering take out. Mei wasn't here and had made it perfectly clear to Yuzu that she wouldn't be coming home until Sunday, so that meant she could order take away in peace without having to justify herself to her girlfriend.
Hours Later
It was nearing the late hours of the evening and Yuzu could really feel herself starting to get hungry. She had effectively stopped her negative thoughts about her relationship and for the past several hours had been completely focused on her game. Like she had planned she had ordered take out and was expecting it to be here any minute now, Yuzu loved cooking, it was one of her favourite hobbies but she wasn't exactly in a cooking mood.
As if by magic the doorbell rang and Yuzu felt she had to use her entire will to peel herself away from the covers which she had hidden under all day, just to answer the door. Paying, grabbing some chopsticks, and a drink Yuzu made her way back to the sofa that was starting to have a small indentation of where her unmoving form had been all day.
When sitting down the blonde gave the living room a quick look over; there were containers and cardboard tubs from the previous night's food everywhere, and because Mei had bought so much several of the sea of boxes had fallen onto the floor or were toppled over. Nothing was spilling onto the carpet, which Yuzu thanked God for, but it certainly didn't look clean. Shrugging her shoulders, Yuzu pushed some things aside on the corner of the table to place her can of juice and shuffled back into her cocoon. Taking several minutes out of her game while she ate, Yuzu busied herself by watching a video on her phone.
Hours Later
Again several hours later Yuzu could feel herself starting to get tired, with a quick glance to the clock she saw it was already gaining two in the morning and she should have been sleeping several hours ago. It was tempting for her to stay up, that would mean she would be able to sleep in tomorrow most likely until the afternoon and then just repeat what she had done today, but she knew it wasn't the right thing to do. But then again, who was here to stop her and Yuzu really didn't have any plans for tomorrow so there was nothing standing in her way... apart from her guilty conscience. Was this all just a way of rebelling against Mei after she left when Yuzu made countless apologies and pleas for her to stay? Perhaps, but Yuzu wasn't even sure if she was mad at Mei, the girl hadn't really done anything wrong at all. It was all Yuzu, but then why would she be acting this way?
Shaking the confusing thoughts from her mind, Yuzu managed to bargain one more hour with herself before she finally turned the play station off and settled back under the covers. She planned on sleeping here until Mei got back and if when Mei got back she didn't want to sleep in the same bed as the blonde, then Yuzu would continue sleeping here. The couch wasn't the best for lying down on let alone sleeping on, Yuzu was well aware of the consequences of her actions but she didn't even want to go into their bedroom at the minute.
The lights were already off, leaving Yuzu lying on her back looking up at the pitch black room. After staring at the tv screen for over twelve hours Yuzu felt her eyes were almost burning, but it had nothing on the throb that had arisen in her chest since she turned her game off.
Using the game as a distraction was working wonders but as soon as it was turned off and Yuzu was left to just drift off to sleep, all she could think about was Mei's crying face. The way she left without so much as a hug, or her eagerness to get away from the blonde repeated in her mind. An all too familiar feeling of hollowness resided in Yuzu's chest, only now it had nothing to do with an instrument, but the loneliness that went with it. It had been months since Yuzu hadn't slept with Mei beside her, the last time Yuzu slept somewhat soundly as Mei had only gone to her Grandfathers for a single night and when Mei left she made sure Yuzu knew she would be back the next day. This time, however, Yuzu had literally been left crying, Mei had left in a simar state and Yuzu didn't think things would be okay when she returned. It would be days of tension and stiflingly awkward conversations, and the whole lying facade Mei thought Yuzu had going on wasn't doing anything in making Yuzu think things might be better in a few days.
Yuzu had all but begged Mei to come home last time they spoke and all Mei could think about was how Yuzu had lied repeatedly to her. When Mei eventually did come home and even if they did sort everything out would Mei think Yuzu was always going to be lying? Would Mei trust the blonde again? Yuzu didn't know any of these answers but the questions swirled in her mind making her tired eyes well with the same guilt laced tears as the night before.
Mei is never going to truly believe anything I say ever again. What if she comes back and doesn't love me like she did before or what if she wants to go on a break or even break up?
Yuzu felt her mind was purposely trying to make her feel like crap, putting all these ideas and scenarios in her mind of what Mei might resort to once she returned.
In her hand, she grasped tightly to her phone, every now and again she would power it on and look at the beauty that was smiling awkwardly at the camera holding a small leather book in front of her chest. It was a birthday present Yuzu had gotten for her partner the previous year and Yuzu knew Mei was overjoyed about it, so much so that she agreed with little to no resistance to getting her photo with the book. Yuzu remembered spending months on end trying to hunt down this limited edition book. It was the final volume of a series Mei had been reading for years and Yuzu knew that it was her favourite series, however when the final volume was released there were only five hundred copies; Perfect leather bound hardcover, gold-rimmed pages and a signature and short personalised message from the author. Yuzu was as excited to give it to Mei as Mei was when she opened it.
Every time Yuzu looked at the photo through teary eyes, she adored the pink-cheeked smiling girl. Mei had been ecstatic for days after her birthday, and Yuzu wished things were as straight forward and happy as they were this time last year. Mei would presumably still be mad on her birthday and probably wouldn't enjoy her day at all if she was trying to avoid the blonde, and Yuzu hated that she was the reason for ruining such in an important day for the younger girl.
However, everything had to come to an end and Yuzu was eternally grateful when her body finally passed put due to exhaustion.
"Yuzu why do you always lie to me, are you trying to push me away?" Mei said from the bedroom door as she looked at the blonde who was stuck on their bed, unable to move despite all the squirming and fight she gave.
"No Mei, please I don't want that. I love you, but certain things I can't tell you about or it will ruin a really big surprise. Mei please!" Yuzu cried out to the girl who was glaring at her menacingly. Why the fuck can't I move? No, don't leave you just got back...
"Some way to show someone you love them." Mei scoffed as she took a step closer to the girl on the bed. "If I was to truly say what I thought was going on here, I would assume you were sleeping with someone behind my back. It would explain the mysterious phone calls and why you didn't want them calling, the impure thoughts going around in your head about other people. I don't think you truly love me at all." Mei took another step closer, her face tilted down to the blonde casting her face in a dark shadow.
"No Mei, no I promise I'm not seeing anyone else besides you I-" Yuzu wriggled and tried to move but under the intense cold stare she was frozen, and before she could get a full sentence out she was silenced by the younger girl who was now at the edge of the bed.
"'I promise I'm okay Mei,' 'I promise I am meeting Tyler' ' I promise I didn't know who it was' you promised all those times yet you were lying through your teeth, this time is no different. You don't truly love me, I've turned a blind eye long enough. Goodbye Yuzu," Yuzu couldn't stop her eyes from tearing up at the words, and as Mei spoke the last line she was at the door of the room and walking out of it. Yuzu still couldn't move, no matter how hard she tried her body was stuck in place like glue.
"Mei? Mei! MEI!" Yuzu screamed and cried out the girl's name, paralysed and unable to do anything she continued to shout at the door but nothing came through it. Suddenly Yuzu felt her body being pushed back onto the bed, she was relieved that she could move but she couldn't stop herself from moving, almost as if she was under some sort of possession.
When she was finally flush on the mattress, Yuzu felt herself slowly turning to her side before a voice filled the room, only she couldn't turn herself around to hear it. Though when a wrinkled, stone cold hand was placed on her shoulder and the icy voice filled the room Yuzu was somewhat thankful she couldn't turn around to see whatever the hell was lying behind her at the moment.
"She's never coming back, you did this, you pushed her so far away without even realising it. How stupid can you be?" The voice was that of a woman, and the hand that had been placed on her shoulder was slowly making its way across her collarbone toward her neck.
Yuzu tried to speak but her throat seemed to clam up and suddenly she felt as though she couldn't breathe. The hand was now wrapped tightly around her neck, the cold aura she could feel from behind her was emerging closer and closer then Yuzu felt a body push against her back and sever pieces of salt and pepper hair fell into her field of vision.
"She's gone, you will be nothing without her, this feeling of cold suffocation; Get used to it because you will feel this for the rest of your lonely little life." As the cold words continued along with the strength of the creature's hand Yuzu frantically tried to move her body from the woman's grasp but no matter how hard she tried her body would not move an inch. Tears fell and her chest constricted but that was the only thing Yuzu could feel moving, her vision was blurred and as she felt herself losing consciousness her body started turning in the direction of the body behind her. Yuzu had seen and felt the hand of whoever the fuck was in her bed and she did not want to see the face of who it belonged to.
No, no, no this can't be true. No, don't turn around!
Yuzu's eyes sprung open and she took in a desperate gasp of air, but then she froze. Something was pressed up against her back, her eyes quickly shut again. She could feel how hot and sweaty she was and the fact that she was entirely underneath the duvet didn't help but she couldn't move. The images from her recent nightmare flooded her mind and the fear of who was behind her had her frozen in fear.
Mei, I need Mei
Whenever Yuzu had a nightmare she would call Mei to turn the light on and she would be comforted as best as possible by the younger girl, only this time she wasn't here and Yuzu felt her heart rate increasing with every second a new possibility for her demise flashed through her mind.
Receiving the courage to ever so slightly move her hand, Yuzu with her eyes still squeezed shut squeezed the bottom of her phone and waited for the small signal to let her know her phone's assistance was listening to her. Whispering just lough enough that the phone would detect her voice, Yuzu spoke the minimal amount of words in fear of aggravating the creature she could feel on her back. "Call Cutie Patootie AKA SnuggleBear" After she spoke Yuzu held her breath in anticipation waiting to see if those would be her final words, but they weren't and soon she heard the ring through the speaker and managed to move the phone to her ear.
Her heart felt like it was going to beat out of chest it was beating so fast. Have you ever woken up from a nightmare and fear the thing that haunted you there was lying in wait for when you opened your eyes? Well, that is exactly how Yuzu felt at the minute and the one person aside from her mother who would make her feel better at the moment was Mei, the person she trusted with her life.
After too many rings, each one Yuzu cringed thinking someone else was going to hear it, Yuzu finally heard the line pick up. Yuzu heard the ruffle of covers and a slight cough before Mei's voice came through the phone slightly worried as to why the blonde was calling her at four thirty in the morning.
"Yuzu what's wrong, are you okay?" It was obvious by her tone that Mei could hear the blonde's elevated breathing through the speaker, Mei after only just waking up was fully away and sitting up in bed. She didn't know what she thought had happened to the blonde but it certainly wasn't normal for anyone to call at this time in the morning and the irrational breathing and silence on the other end didn't do much in aiding her mind.
"I... Need you to turn the light on." Yuzu's voice came out as a whisper just like before, she still had her eyes shut and the phone was pressed tightly against her face. Yuzu knew it was impossible for Mei to do what she had asked but by saying those words Mei would know exactly what was wrong with the older girl without Yuzu having to panic that she was going to die any second by the creepy woman she suspected was lying in wait behind her.
Mei, however, felt her entire body relax at the words, falling onto her back and repositioning her head on the pillows Mei reached out and put her lamp on before giving a content sigh. "You're fine Yuzu, nothings going to happen to you it wasn't real it was just a dream; Nobodies there I promise, just breath." Mei felt relieved that nothing serious had happened to the girl but that didn't mean she was completely at ease with the situation. She knew how scared Yuzu could be after a nightmare and didn't take any sort of pleasure knowing that Yuzu would be curled up somewhere in their apartment paralysed still, unable to breathe properly all out of fear.
"Be behind m-me," Yuzu squeaked and risked trying to move her back forwards towards the couch, but let out a whimpered cry and tremble when she felt the object follow her movement and continue pushing against her.
At this point, Mei could clearly hear her girlfriend's cries through the phone and was almost thankful she couldn't see her, for if she did the sight would have broken Mei.
"Yuzu, listen to me. I'm right here and no matter what you think is behind you it isn't. Calm down okay?" When Mei heard the blonde continue to cry she tried again, "Listen to my voice Yuzu, that's why you called right, because you know I would never let anything bad happen to you? Well, believe me when I say nothing is going to hurt you. If you're in bed you probably have a pillow behind your back or something, same thing for the couch or wherever you are at the moment. I'm not there so I can't do it for you so you have to turn around and open your eyes." Mei spoke quietly and softly in hopes that it would give Yuzu some sort of reassurance.
"NO, she's behind me if I turn around she is going to... my throat," Yuzu mumbled off in the middle before Mei heard the two final words and she truly felt sorry for whatever the blonde was putting herself through.
"Whoever she is, she isn't going to lay a hand on you Yuzu because she isn't there. I don't know what happened in your nightmare but it isn't going to happen again, and if she did lay a finger on you she would have my wrath to deal with and I believe that is enough to keep the demons at bae." Mei tried to make Yuzu feel a little more comfortable by lightening her mood and it worked for a moment as she heard a small laugh, but then the line went silent again. She had stopped crying, that was a start.
"If you want to get any sort of sleep tonight then you will have to turn around Yuzu, I know it's scary but you have to do it. Do it for me okay?" Yuzu felt better after hearing Mei's words but that didn't stop the feeling of fear that lay like lead in her stomach, but she had called Mei because she needed her and what help was it to her if she didn't take her advice. So slowly and not so surely Yuzu turned herself around on the couch and cursed to herself about how this was going to be her last moment. She could feel whatever had been pressed against her move before falling ot the ground, she heard a light thud on the ground before the apartment went quiet.
Mei's voice came through the speaker again, it was comforting caring, just what the younger girl needing at the moment. "Okay now open your eyes and you will see that there is absolutely no one there." Eventually opening her eyes Yuzu was met with the same dark room she had seen minutes ago, no creepy face or crawling hand. The phone in her hand was lightened up allowing her to see slightly in front of her and like Mei had said the coast was clear. Glancing quickly down to the floor Yuzu sighed and fell back into the couch at the sight of the purple pillow on the ground.
"Everything okay?" Mei's voice came through and Yuzu let herself relax slightly, but only after turning the torch on, on her phone and putting Mei on speaker so she could light up the room.
"You were right," Yuzu's voice still came out small, she was still a little shaken up by her dream but have the security of having Mei on the phone and knowing no one was there made her feel better. Yuzu heard Mei sigh before she spoke again.
"I know I was right, I'm asking if you are okay Yuzu you don't sound okay to me." Mei's voice still had some concern in it and Yuzu once again felt bad for worrying her partner but she appreciated how much Mei cared and put up with her nonsense. Honestly, how many twenty-one years olds have nightmares and actually need to be encouraged to open their eyes in fear of their being a ghost or demon waiting to kill them?
"I'm okay I think... I'm sorry I woke you up, I know you only got two hours sleep last night or something like that. Please don't be madder at me, I was just scared and I didn't know who else I could have called." After assuring the girl she was definitely okay, it occurred to Yuzu that she may have just made Mei annoyed by calling her at such a time when she was already running on little to no sleep, but she got a strong voice down the phone that put an end to her thoughts.
"Absolutely not Yuzu. I would never be mad at you for feeling scared and coming to me for help, I'm glad you did and I'm glad you are okay. However, if you are feeling better I would recommend that you go back to sleep, you and I both need rest and I don't want either of us falling ill over this." Mei although her sentence didn't sound all that caring, her voice was still as soft as ever as she spoke to the older girl.
Yuzu, after several moments of consideration, knowing that Mei had left to get away from her made her think that she would say no to what she was going to ask but she needed to ask this. "Umm Mei... Do you think you could stay on the call while we fall asleep? I know you are still upset with me but I always feel better when you are with me and I know you are at Gramps but hearing your voice and breathing is really nice..." Yuzu really wasn't sure how the younger girl would react, she really wanted Mei to stay on the line even if it meant they weren't talking.
Her dream had planted some very unwanted seeds of information in Yuzu's mind about how Mei felt about her at the minute and that along with Mei's natural personality made it a shock to the blonde when Mei agreed to leave the call going while the two went to bed. Yet right now she pushed the negativity to the back of her mind and focused on the soft angelic breathing she could hear coming through the speaker.
When she has settled under the covers again and hand her phone back in her hand, Yuzu closed her eyes and focused on the light breathing of the girl on the other side of the phone who had down the same action and was preparing for sleep.
"Goodnight Mei, I love you," Yuzu spoke quietly and waited for the response from her lover.
"Goodnight Yuzu... you too," Was what Mei said back, and Yuzu didn't know what to make of it. They always said goodnight and I love you before bed, what the hell did 'you too' mean? When Yuzu felt she was going to say something she heard a whisper through the phone that she wasn't sure if she was supposed to hear or not. "I love you too, more than anything." The words set a smile on the blonde's face as she let herself be consumed by sleep and the sound of her lover.
Maybe everything would be okay, maybe Mei could forgive her for this. Just maybe.
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