章 28: Chapter 28: A Break
"Who is he?" Mei made clear eye contact with the blonde, and instead of her gaze being cold like Yuzu had expected it to be, it was broken. Not a shimmer of light resided in the amethyst eyes, and Yuzu felt her heart break.
The crippled look of anguish on the youngers crying face made Yuzu unable to speak, she opened her mouth but nothing came out. Slowly walking forwards, Yuzu reached a hand out to rest on Mei's shoulder but she didn't get within a meter before the girl's pained shout filled the apartment.
"Who is he!?" The voice came out loud and demanding, but to Yuzu, it was as broken as the look in her eyes. It was one thing for Mei to shout at her and even if it didn't happen too often Yuzu knew things would be okay afterward, but never had she seen Mei cry to her out of anger or betrail. This gesture, along with the way she gripped the bear tighter as she pushed herself away from Yuzu in her chair was enough to make Yuzu fear for the worst.
Taking several steps back until she was on the other side of the table, Yuzu sat down and watched as Mei held on to the stuffed animal like a lifeline.
"It... it's not... are you okay?" Yuzu felt so small, her voice was but a whisper as she tried to overcome the look Mei was giving her. She couldn't think straight with Mei crying, all Yuzu wanted to do was wipe her tears away, wrap her in a hug and tell her everything was going to be alright but she couldn't. At least not the first two, she was very aware that Mei wouldn't allow that in her current state but she didn't want the younger girl to think she had lied when she said what she had earlier.
Mei was the only person Yuzu would sleep with, a dream was only a figment of her imagination and just because it happened there doesn't mean she would do anything like it in real life. Somehow she didn't think Mei would stand for her reasoning though.
"Are you ch-cheating on me?" The words left Mei's mouth milliseconds before she broke out into sobs again, "Are you going to-to leave me?" Again after a moment, Mei managed the words before she was consumed by her cries.
She's going to leave me just like my father did when I was younger, I'm going to be alone...again. I can't do it again, please don't Yuzu, please. Mei's thoughts ran to the past and back to the future and the thought of the one person she had opened up to leaving crushed her to pieces. Thinking about what she would be like without the blonde scared Mei, would she return to her grandfather and marry some random man and never be happy, or would she live the rest of her life feeling miserable without the blonde bundle of happiness?
"What? No and no!" Yuzu rose from her chair quickly, her palms lightly smacking off the table. The idea of cheating had never crossed the blonde's mind, just the image of actually sleeping with someone other than Mei made her stomach churn.
"Mei I would never leave you or cheat on you!" Yuzu tried to sound as sincere as possible but she knew Mei wouldn't listen. Yuzu knew Mei was a very headstrong woman when it came to things like this, once she had a thought in her mind it was almost impossible to shake. It would probably have been best just to leave this conversation until the morning once she had had a chance to cool down and actually think, but Yuzu didn't want to let Mei go to sleep with the idea in her mind that she was actively sleeping with other people behind her back.
"Mei it was a dream, I can't control what happens in my dreams you know that. Just because I dreamt of it it has no connection to what I actually want to do. I promise you I meant what I said before, I want you and you alone for the rest of my life some stupid dream doesn't mean anything. At least not to me it doesn't." Yuzu sat back down and spoke calmly as she tried to get her reasoning across to the younger girl before anything got out of hand. She was relieved that Mei had almost entirely stopped crying now and was just sniffling and occasionally wiped her eyes, not that it made it any easier for her to watch.
"You never answered my question, who was he?" Mei spoke again, her voice was still shaky as she waited to hear who the blonde preferred over her. Even if she did say she only wanted to be with Mei she wouldn't be dreaming about a guy, would she?
Yuzu's cheeks immediately became red at Mei's question, the red swollen eyes never left her and she knew she wouldn't get out of this conversation, on a good note, if she didn't answer but the alternative didn't seem too great either.
"No one, I don't know who it was. Mei, please think about this, I have no intention of sleeping with anyone else but you. Please don't do anything stupid because you think I am doing something I'm not." Yuzu spoke quickly but it didn't avert Mei's gaze from her, though it did drop to the peachy hands that were now tapping off the table at a growing rate the longer the silence continued and that was it for Mei, she knew the blonde was lying to her.
Mei felt like she was being torn in half. The girl she loved with her entire being, who she had opened up to out of everyone in the world was lying straight to her face. Her eyes left Yuzu and as a tear trickled down her cheek she looked to her phone that was sitting on the piano, the image of Yuzu saying she loved her over and over again appeared in her mind and her chest clenched in pain. Standing, she left the table without looking at Yuzu still holding the bear in her arm, she walked to the instrument and after picking up her phone continued her stride down the hall past their room to her study.
"Mei, where are you going? Who are you calling, it's four in the morning?" Getting up from her chair Yuzu was quick to follow the sobbing girl down the hall. When she didn't reply Yuzu gently layed a hand to the back of Mei's shoulder as she tried to step into the study. "Mei please-"
"Don't touch me!" The hand didn't last a second on the covered skin, Mei shouted and turned around long enough to see that Yuzu wasn't in the way of the door and shut it with a quiet bang. Before Yuzu could open it and demand to know what was going on Mei locked it and walked to the desk before collapsing in her chair, trying to hold back the tears for a few more minutes so she could make the phone call.
"Mei! What are you doing in there? It better be safe, please just open the door and talk or don't talk you don't even have to look at me but let me know what you are doing." Yuzu knocked lightly on the door, contradictory to her raised voice that was full of panic. She had never seen Mei in this type of situation before she had no idea what thoughts were going through her mind at the minute. If Yuzu was positive Mei was cheating on her it would not be pretty thoughts going on in her mind and even if Mei was mad at her Yuzu wouldn't risk something happening to the girl.
Her questioning soon stopped at the sound of Mei talking but not to her, Yuzu stopped and listened, her heart sank.
"Hello, it's Aihara Mei... Yes his granddaughter, I appreciate that it's late but if I could speak with him for a moment..." Yuzu could hear the strain and guilt in the girl's voice as she listened but she stayed quiet.
"Hello Grandfather, I apologise for the late call, and for waking you," Mei said after being on hold for more than two minutes while the line was transferred to her grandfather. She felt nervous for what she was about to ask, she had rarely, almost never, asked him for anything but now she needed him and was worried about what he would say.
"Mei, what is it, I'm sure you are aware that I have meetings and a school to run in an hour?" His voice came through the phone groggy but Mei could tell he was slightly annoyed.
"I...I-I Never mind, I apologise for waking you at such a time. Good night." Mei was practically shaking, her fear getting the better of her as she turned to a stammering mess and tried to end the call, but she didn't in time to hear the stern voice turn concerned and warned her to stay on the line.
"Don't hand up. I'm sorry for my tone I've had little sleep tonight, what's wrong Mei?" His voice was calmer now that he heard the breathing on the other end of the phone and knew that his granddaughter hadn't left out of fear of him.
After a few moments of silence, Mei spoke again, feeling slightly relieved that her grandfather wanted to hear her out.
"I- we... If it isn't too much to ask would it be okay if I came to visit you over the weekend?" Mei's voice seemed slightly calmer now that she was talking to her grandfather and for that Yuzu was grateful, but she didn't like what she was hearing. Was Mei really going to run away to his house over the weekend just to avoid her?
"Of course, you are always welcome here Mei but why couldn't this wait until later, what aren't you telling me?" His voice although concerned, Mei heard the little spike of anger that she wasn't letting him know why.
"I understand that it may not be convenient but I was hoping if it wasn't too much trouble... If I could come over now. I am not in the right frame of mind to be driving and Yuzu might need the car over the weekend, so would you be able to send someone to pick me up? I know it is a lot to ask but the trains aren't on at this hour and I don't have any other way of getting there." Mei was struggling more than she wanted to admit and she knew her grandfather could hear the weakness in her voice.
After a moment Mei heard several buttons being pushed on the other side of the phone and she was put on hold for nearly a minute before the deep voice returned.
"I have a chauffeur who lives about twenty minutes from you, I have contacted him and he is leaving now. Be ready outside for him to pick you up, the plate number is xxx xxxx make sure you get in the right vehicle." After several more moments of silence, he continued. "Is everything okay Mei?" The usually stern man was showing his weak and caring side to his granddaughter, he would never intentionally let any harm come to her and the fact that she was being put in a position where she felt she needed to leave her home at such an hour worried him.
"I'm fine Grandfather, thank you for worrying but it is just a small problem. Thank you for arranging a lift for me, I'll be sure to bring my current paperwork over to discuss with you while I'm there. I'll see you soon." Mei appreciated his concern but she didn't want to burden the man with silly girlfriend troubles, plus she would not be comfortable discussing such a topic with her grandfather.
"If you insist, I'll see you soon good night." With that, the man hung up and Mei let herself sink into her chair while she gathered her thoughts.
"Mei?! Open the door, I won't ask again." Yuzu's voice came booming through the door breaking Mei's train of thought. Sure enough, she had most likely been knocking since she ended her phone call, but she had been a little too caught up in her own mind to realise. The blonde that she loved dearly had given her the most amazing night ever, one Mei thought she would never forget but that had quickly changed after what had happened.
Given Yuzu did say she had no control over her dreams and Mei knew this was true, all might have been fine after a day or so if it had just been left there, but Yuzu for whatever reason refused to tell Mei who it was she was sleeping with; If that didn't say 'If I tell you, you are just going to kick off because it's someone you don't like' Mei didn't know what would. Sure Yuzu was entitled to her privacy but when it was something like this and she so bluntly lied to her, Mei couldn't think straight. What reason did she have for hiding it? It was just making a bigger mess and if Yuzu wasn't going to tell her the truth then she didn't want to be around the blonde, no matter how much it was going to hurt her.
Still, Mei felt she believed her girlfriend, she wanted to believe her girlfriend, when she said she wasn't cheating or going to leave her for anyone, that part was true but the lying she couldn't stand.
Packing up her laptop and gather several files from her desk, Mei finally opened the door to reveal a red-faced Yuzu. As soon as the door opened Mei saw Yuzu scan her entire body and noticed after she had looked Mei over a few times that her eyes were glued to her wrist that was turned inwards holding her laptop to her chest. "I didn't do anything like that," Mei said, walking away after she saw relief wash over the blonde's face. Sure she was extremely mad at her partner but she wasn't cruel.
She listened as Yuzu followed her down the hall with rushed footsteps, "Mei I'm really sorry for shouting so loud, I was just worried you weren't thinking properly. Are you really going to Gramps for the weekend? You don't have to, listen I know you are upset but I promise It didn't mean anything at all to me." Still, no reply came from the younger girl as she made her way into their room and after giving the bed a dirty look, walked to her wardrobe and started planning an outfit to wear.
"Please Mei, you are mad at me I can see that but you don't have to leave. If it's because you don't want to see me then fine, I'll sleep on the couch and you can go back to sleep in your own bed and if you really want I'll be up and ready for class before you even get out of bed. You don't have to go to Gramps to get away from me, are you going to say anything?" Yuzu was standing behind Mei trying to get any response from her at all but she got none as Mei continued to pull several pieces of clothing from her wardrobe and place them into a duffle bag.
Picking up the last set of clothes, Mei gave Yuzu one look before leaving the room and going to the bathroom to get changed. Before she closed the bathroom door she turned to Yuzu who was still following her through the house, "I'm going to Grandfathers for the weekend, I have some work to discuss with him. Someone will be here to pick me up in around ten minutes, I'll see you when I'm back."
"What! What do you mean? You can't just run away from this Mei I don't even know what you are so mad about, talk to me or wait until the morning, don't just leave." Yuzu knew Mei was upset but she really thought the girl was acting irrationally here, what did she gain from leaving and not talking about it or figuring out what would make it better. After a few minutes, Mei came out of the bathroom in her casual outfit of a sweater and long skirt, and what Yuzu thought looked like a fresh set of tear stains on the girl's cheeks.
Maybe I'm being too harsh about this, she is clearly really upset but I don't know how to reassure her. Mei walked past the blonde and picked up her bag before going to the kitchen to start making herself a coffee.
"Mei, its four in the morning you don't need a coffee." Yuzu saw her hesitate for a moment before putting the coffee back in the cupboard and getting a glass of water instead. Thinking that maybe she was starting to calm down, Yuzu risked getting closer to the girl and stood in the entryway to the kitchen. "Please Mei, I'm asking you to stay. What do you need me to do for you to do that?" Yuzu looked into Mei's puffy eyes and was glad to see the younger girl holding eye contact, but Yuzu could see distrust in her eyes and didn't know why.
"It was a dream Mei, I can't control what happens there but I can here. I don't want you to leave I want you to stay and talk to me about why this is upsetting you so much, let me fix it." Yuzu pleaded with the taller girl who was now opening her mouth to speak. It came out croaky, practically telling Yuzu she had been crying again in the bathroom.
"I know you can't control your dreams Yuzu, and I can see you are sorry but I want to know who it was and you keep lying to me about it. That's what I want to make it better, I want you to be honest with me." Mei could feel herself getting worked up again, she didn't want to run away like a child but she didn't want Yuzu to think she would just sit there while she lied. All she wanted was for Yuzu to tell her the truth, over the past weeks Mei felt Yuzu was being reserved about certain phone calls and keeping secrets from her until the last minute or until she had no choice but to tell her and she had had enough. The truth, without having to pry it out of the blonde, was all Mei wanted and she wasn't staying if she wasn't going to get it.
"I can't tell you what I don't know Mei. If I'm totally honest I really don't want to get into the specifics but the dream was pretty blurry. I remember it but I don't at the same time if that makes any sense at all." Yuzu's cheeks were pink as pinkie pie and she was being honest. Mei scowled.
"You seemed to know who it was when you were moaning out his name." The words cut like a knife through the kitchen and it took Yuzu a moment to get over the sound of dread in Mei's words. "Yeah the person name was Meino but I don't even know anyone called that and you know that as well. I don't know Mei, maybe I saw the name on an add or a meme or something yesterday but I'm not lying. Is that enough for you, will you stay now?" Yuzu was becoming slightly infuriated with the way she was having to explain herself to Mei. So what she had a dream and didn't feel like talking about it, what was the big deal?
Mei watched Yuzu and she could tell that everything that came out of her mouth was true but she also knew that she was keeping something hidden. Whether it was in her eyes or the way she hid her hands behind her back Mei didn't know, but she knew something wasn't being told.
"I'm afraid Grandfather has already arranged a car to pick me up and I can't cancel as it is too short notice and would be extremely rude of me. Like I said before I will see you when I return on Sunday evening." Mei's voice had turned slightly cold as she spoke to Yuzu and Yuzu heard it too.
"No Mei, it isn't rude at all you are still just trying to get away from me. Why can't you just take my answer and stay?!" Yuzu's raised voice was it for both girls. Yuzu had had enough of the interrogation and Mei wanted to leave as soon as possible. Pushing past Yuzu, Mei picked up her bag and left to the door where her shoes and jacket were on in record time, keys in hand she turned to look at Yuzu who now had red agitated eyes. With a single look back, Mei opened the door and left. Yuzu watched the door for nearly a minute hoping she would walk back through it but it never came and the tears started rolling down her cheeks.
The door nob turned and Yuzu's head shot up to see Mei standing looking at her, hope and relief washed over Yuzu as she practically ran towards Mei but she was stopped as Mei raised her hand to her chest making a gesture for the blonde to stop.
"I'm sorry Yuzu, I forgot to tell you something before I left," Mei spoke quietly as Yuzu took several steps back and tried to wipe the tears from her cheeks. "I wanted to tell you that while I'm gone for the three days I don't want you to drink, I don't want you drinking yourself stupid because you are upset like you have in the past. I will know if you have and I don't think any more lies is what we need at the minute... Goodbye." Mei spoke somewhat softly, even when she was furiously mad at her she couldn't risk Yuzu putting herself in any danger while she was gone.
With that, and one last look into the regret covered emerald eyes, Mei closed the door behind her as she left. A minute later Yuzu heard a car door close and the sound of an engine fading away made her drop to her knees and cry.
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