概要
I rewrite the story to have a good grammars and fix some plot
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the story of a guy with a fusion of legendary and ancient
(1st ever Fanfic I write)
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ランキング 
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チケット あなたも好きかも
3レビュー
- テキストの品質
- アップデートの安定性
- ストーリー展開
- キャラクターデザイン
- 世界の背景
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レビューを書く
The story has no character development and the story moves way to fast. You should develop the character more for example their personality, what they like to make it more enjoyable to read. The plot of the story moves way to fast, say you write a short story about going to a shop, your story is like "I went to a shop and bought some sweets and drinks". Instead a good story would include walking to the shops, describing the buildings around the area, describing the shop and including a lot more things.
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Well i rated to high XD Jdjdvdjfbdjdvjdbfjfvfjdbfidvfjdbfiejeuevdidvfufjdodbdzdjelenudhdjdidhdduhdkidid7dbdofusjspdjdhdiddvdhdkdjddudbhvtxgvcgchhfvkcfvbjj h j j h zni hgh ivh j i uu
Suck mah asshole /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
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