章 32: Super Scout's Honor!
Minumna was a pleasant place to spend the summer. It never got too hot, and the crisp mountain air worked wonders for lungs smothered by city smog. Life was in no hurry here, and the days languished well into the evening.
… Well, except for one place.
The outdoor market teemed with the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Pretty much everyone in the village had a stall, hawking their goods at tourists with more money than sense.
The only villager doing any shopping, then, was Micaiah Rebane, the outsider with no backstory to his name. He stood out like a sore thumb, and it wasn't just because of the shocking red hair that trailed down to his waist. Everything about him commanded attention, because he was a sweetheart—and an exceptionally beautiful one at that, so he managed to endear himself in the hearts of the natives who welcomed him into the fold regardless of his past.
He was a notorious airhead, but he worked very hard and pulled his weight. He was always willing to lend a helping hand, and they said he was especially pious in the ways of the village's God, Rirasiru. Like the God, his heart was much too big for his own good, and sometimes people took advantage of him. But Mica, bless his soul, bore no ill will toward anybody, although he wasn't above a smart remark or two when they teased him.
And because of his good looks and gentle nature, he was especially popular with the ladies, which Hana Sabatka found out in the most annoying way possible, because they should've been out of Minumna an hour ago.
But noooo.
Here was a bunch of old ladies crowding around him, cooing and showering him with cookies and candy for the trip. He stopped and helped a little girl with her Western Gesmauran homework, offering a lengthy and longwinded explanation on animal noises, with some horrifying nature facts sprinkled on top for good measure. The bachelorettes coquettishly batted their eyelashes at him. Not that they had any chance, because Mica was taken by his one true love: snacks.
How did someone spend so much time buying snacks?
Hana huffed in frustration. Not that Mica was the sole offender—she glowered at Zagiha, the tourist with more money than sense in question. And they said women spent too much time shopping!
"Hana, look at this!" Zagiha ran up to her, carrying a hairpin. "Now you can pin your hair back so you don't look like such a sadsack cat lady."
"If you want to play dress-up," Hana snapped, smacking it out of his hand, "then you should buy a doll."
"Don't be like that." Zagiha picked it up and brushed the dirt off. "Do remember we're going to meet Nimhr. He isn't quite as relaxed as I am, so it's of utmost importance we look our best. Besides, we should probably buy a gift for him here."
"A gift?" It was probably a good idea. Although she didn't know Nimhr personally, she had no reason to believe he'd help them without getting anything in return. "Like what?"
"Well, Hana, all adults enjoy getting good liquor."
"All of them, or just you?"
"Well, I've never met an Eastern Gesmauran who doesn't drink like a fish. Hey! Rebane!" Zagiha shouted, prompting the other to trot over to him, munching a doughnut. He carried two large sacks of food.
"Do you really need all that?" Hana asked, deadpan.
"Happy tummy, happy heart," Mica answered. "What is it?"
"So, I know you people love your booze. I was thinking about getting Nimhr some vodka, but he's probably sick of the stuff. Is there anything you have around here—a local specialty, perhaps—that isn't digusting?"
Mica blinked. Then his face lit up and he ran off, returning a few moments later with a bottle filled with yellow liquid. "Yes, yes, local specialties!" he echoed. "This is Minumnalainen Sima, a sparkling lemon and honey mead."
"I said not disgusting." Zagiha pulled a face. "We're not serving Nimhr fermented piss, all right? Never mind. I shouldn't have asked the one who eats literally everything. Let's just pick something up along the way. Come on. Let's go."
At last!
They returned to Mica's chuck wagon, parked far out of the way from the market. The three enormous Samoyed dogs he owned were in their harnesses, lazing in the summer sun. Mica loaded up the "essential" supplies and gave Hana a helping hand into the wagon. He closed the back and hopped into the driver's seat.
"Eh?" said Zagiha. "I wasn't in yet…"
"Gods don't get tired unless they use too much magic, right?" said Mica.
"Yes, that's right."
"Okay." Mica flashed him a bright smile. "Then you can walk."
"Wh-What?" Zagiha sputtered. "Who's paying you?"
Great. They hadn't set out yet and they were already at each other's throats. Although neither was fond of the other, Hana at least expected them to be polite, but apparently that was too much to ask. While Zagiha was the more directly antagonistic of the two, Mica was a true master of passive aggression. It was amusing, if it weren't for Hana being caught up in the middle of it all.
"Nothin' against you, Your Holiness," Mica smirked. "But you DO realize I'm takin' my very fluffy dogs out in the summer heat, don't you? I don't want to create more work than necessary so they don't overheat. As a dog owner yourself, you would understand."
"Ah…"
For the time being, Zagiha's corgis were in the custody of Astrid and her parents, keeping her company while she worked on her physical rehabilitation. It was for the best, and it was obvious Mica struck at his soft spot.
"… I'll take the rear guard."
"Hike!" And with Mica's command, they were off, trotting through the main road out of town. The people of the village waved and shouted goodbye. Mica also waved goodbye. Did they do this every time someone left? Workers had a unique culture.
Even in the summer sun, the dogs traveled at a clip, jiggling Hana about. What a rough ride! The paths out of Minumna were dirt, covered in pine needles, twigs, and the errant rock. The road wasn't so bad when she and Zagiha walked to the village, but it wasn't built for travel by vehicle at all. She held onto the frame for dear life, fearing ejection the second Mica hit a pothole. Hana looked out the front of the chuck wagon.
Mica wasn't phased at all.
Workers had such a rough life they didn't even understand how rough they had it. But Minumna Valley truly was beautiful, more beautiful than the carefully manicured yards of Caershira. The forest was wild and untamed, offering wonderful things to discover, from the golden sun filtering through the canopy to the colorful mushrooms growing on logs. It was alive with the twitter of birds and the chatter of squirrels, and every so often an eagle's chilling call rang out loud and clear.
"So," said Zagiha. "There aren't any spiders out here, right?"
"Oh, there's tons of 'em," answered Mica. "Literally everywhere! Why do you ask?"
"N-No reason. How long will it take to get to Tyressa, exactly?"
"If all goes well, we should get there in about two days."
"Two days?" he sputtered. "We have to spend two days out here in the wilderness?"
"Are you worried about the spiders?" Mica grinned (it was more like a well-disguised sneer). "It's okay. None of them are dangerous."
"That's not what I was asking…"
"Everything else will try to kill you instead."
Ah. And the illusion of beauty was shattered, just like that.
"You two aren't accustomed to nature, right? It's a terrible place."
"I thought you liked nature?" Hana interjected.
"I love it. Why do you ask?" Mica gestured vaguely into a thicket. "But as your scout leader, I need to give you the safety talk."
"Scout leader?" Zagiha scoffed.
"Out in these parts, there's wolves, bears, moose, snakes… and worst of all, geese."
… Honk honk?
"So it's important to stick together. There's also lots of mutants in the valley, and you know how aggressive they can get! Oh! And there's robbers, insect-borne diseases, airborne diseases, water-borne diseases… so many gnats! And every so often you'll run into an Aypos cultist, and they'll try to kidnap you and carve your heart out with a melon-baller, and…"
Maybe the False One actually should end the world, now that Hana thought about it. She didn't appreciate Mica's flippant familiarity with all things dark and horrible, especially not the part about the Aypos cultists.
She heard rumors about them. After the war, Aypos and the few followers he had left were chased off into the wilderness. They were widely believed to be extinct by now, but people liked to whisper spooky stories about people going off on nice little jaunts in the forest, never to be seen again. The hapless victims were sacrificed to the cruel God, as the stories went, with each narrator trying to upstage the last with the gory details of the slaughter.
"So that's why we have to stick together," Mica finished. "If we run into any trouble, I'll make sure to protect you. Super scout's honor!"
"Are you even armed?" asked Zagiha.
Mica pulled a frying pan out of nowhere.
"All right. I'll do the fighting," Zagiha said.
But nothing happened for the rest of the day, the most frightening thing they came across being a chipmunk. As the sun went down, they stopped to rest. Mica dragged the large bag of dog food Hana clutched onto to anchor herself from getting pitched out the front of chuckwagon and fed his dogs, and then he busied himself making the campfire. He was really competent, a word Hana didn't usually associate with Mica.
Meanwhile, on the other end: Zagiha, making a fool of himself trying to pitch the tent. It was like night and day. Mica got up and helped him, and in a matter of minutes, he was done.
"I-I didn't need your help!" Zagiha sputtered, turning his reddened face away from him.
Mica chuckled and returned to the fire, heating a pot of water over it. The fire crackled, and Hana rested her head on a log, dozing off. Mica sat down on the other side of the log, peeling the potatoes he bought at the market earlier in the day.
"I wanted mashed potato croquettes," he said. "Does that sound good to you?"
"Sure. You're in a cheerful mood," Hana replied.
"Should I not be?"
"Well…" She scratched her chin. "I mean, with the world maybe ending and all, you don't seem too concerned…"
"I see." Mica poured some water into a cup and dipped a tea bag in it. "It's not that I'm not worried about that. I live here, you know? But there's little if anythin' I can do about it, so it doesn't help me to mope." He took a sip. "I don't have any power to defeat the False One, but I can be there for my friends. Actually, I was really happy when I was hired for this trip, since I want to meet Silvio again, too."
Hana nodded. She understood Mica's rationale, as reckless as it seemed. She got up and helped Mica cook the croquettes. He was far from the best chef, but it was kind of fun cooking with him. Hana was kind of having fun camping in general. Maybe, when all was said and done and they didn't have to worry about Unforgivables, or the False One, or the constitution, or whatever, they could take a trip out here again and relax.
He dropped one of the croquettes into a pan over the fire and watched it sizzle, poking it with a camp spatula.
"Do you think…?" said Mica after a pause. "Do you think if maybe the False One could enjoy moments like these with friends, he wouldn't want to destroy the world anymore?"
"That's a quaint thought, Rebane," said Zagiha, joining them by the fire after sulking over the tent for who-knows-how-long, "but the False One is the personification of the Outer One's hatred toward us. There's no kindness to be found in that one's heart."
"You think the Outer One hates us?" asked Hana. "If it did… why would it make us?"
"It's like a child with building blocks, of course," said Zagiha. "It builds things, only to destroy them when it gets bored. The Outer One can never interact with our world. The most it could ever hope for is to watch things through the eyes of the Gods, but it hasn't experienced anything. It doesn't know the value we see in this world."
"Can you say that out loud…?"
"The Outer One agrees with me. That's why it created Gods in the first place, right?"
Hana thought back to her school days, recalling the great origin story of the universe. That's right… the Outer One was lonely, but no matter what, it couldn't interact with its creation. The lives of everything on earth must be like nothing more than a storybook to it. It couldn't relate to the very animalistic desire of survival.
"Then I don't think the Outer One hates us," said Mica. He offered Zagiha a tin of instant coffee. It's not like the snobby God would be caught dead drinking it, but it was the thought that counted. "I think it hates itself. What a terrible fate it's bestowed upon us, though."
The croquettes finished cooking and he stabbed one with his fork, blowing on it to cool it down. It smelled delicious, but knowing Mica's cooking, it probably tasted like cardboard.
"Petty or what?" Zagiha snapped. "I know I don't stand a chance against the False One, but I'm not going to let them trample all over us without at least trying!"
"Maybe the False One wants you to stop them," said Mica.
"Eh? What makes you think that?" Zagiha chuckled. He papped Mica on the head. "The False One can only be evil. Only a person without a conscience could fulfill their duty to destroy the world."
"I see…" Mica stood up, putting his cup away with the rest of the food, tied up high in a tree to prevent bears from getting at it. He took off his headdress with a shake of his hair, and crawled into the tent. "I'm gonna get some shut-eye. We're gonna cover even more ground tomorrow, so I need to be wide awake."
"I'll be with you in a few minutes," said Hana.
Zagiha sighed. "You know I don't like to sleep. I'll stand guard for giant spiders. No need to thank me."
Mica bowed and disappeared into the tent. Hana was on dish duty, so she started washing them in a nearby stream.
"I swear, he's so creepy," said Zagiha, sauntering over to her.
"Shh!" she hissed. "He's probably still awake. And I just don't see why you think that!"
"Because he doesn't have normal reactions that normal humans make?"
Here they went again.
"You know that Mica was found all alone in the forest, right? He probably never got the chance to learn how to express his emotions."
"But…" he stammered.
"But what?" Hana crossed her arms, like a mother lecturing her child. "Just give him the benefit of the doubt. What did he do to you? You're only like this with him. Are you jealous of him or something?"
"J-Jealous?" he stuttered. "Why would I be jealous…?"
"You have 'lie' written all over your face. You don't have anything to be jealous of, I promise." She looked away, not that he could see her bright red cheeks in the darkness anyway. "I don't know Mica as well as you think I do. He's mostly Silvio's friend. Plus…" She leaned into him. "Silvio likes him. I can't say what Mica thinks about that, but siblings don't date the person the other likes. It's the code!"
"The code?" He shook his head. "I never said anything about dating. What are you going on about?"
"Uhh…" Hana's face heated up as hot as the surface of the sun. "N-Nevermind. What I'm saying is, I'm still closest to you, so we'll still have plenty of time to spend together."
"I feel like a little kid who's getting a new sibling," Zagiha said.
"We can spend time together right now!"
"Little humans ought to go to bed."
"What were you planning on doing the whole night?"
He pulled a book out of his cloak. "Reviewing the constitution, I guess. It's been years since I last read it in full. I really don't want to destroy it. If there's a clue in here that could break the curse without harming it, then I want to find it."
"Why don't we go over it together?"
Zagiha offered her a knowing smile. "Are you actually interested in this sort of stuff, or do you just want to stay up?"
"Well, you're interesting. If you're the one teaching it, then it would probably be interesting."
He chuckled. "Interesting in what way? If you're up for it, I'd be happy to teach you, though. You ARE technically my intern, so you need to know this stuff. And you have to be well-versed in the law if you…"
"If I what?"
He shook his head in embarrassment. "It's nothing."
"Tell me."
"Ah…" He bit his lip. "I wasn't sure how to bring this up. After Astrid and I divorced, she abdicated her position as High Priestess, so I have a vacancy." Zagiha cleared his throat. "So, once you've reached the age of majority, I think… I would be very honored if you accepted the position."
If Hana had her tea still, she would've spat it out in shock.
"Me? Your High Priestess?" she gasped.
"Well, it has to be a woman, and you're the only woman I know who isn't repulsed by me." He turned away sharply. "You can say no if you want to. I promise I will only cry a little, but I'll get over it. It'd just be for ceremonial purposes. You know I don't do that religious gobbledygook."
"I-It's not a no!" Hana stuttered, waving her hands about. "It's just really sudden and overwhelming. I need time to think about it."
"That's fine." He shrugged. "You have to be at least eighteen anyway, so there's plenty of time. Again, no pressure. Just testing the waters here."
"Gotcha." She didn't know what the answer was. She wanted to say yes so she could be with him, but it also sounded like a lot of responsibility. But she did have a lot of time to think about it, so she decided to put it on the backburner for now. "We should get started on the reading," she said.
"Yeah," he answered, and he opened the book.
--
Hana didn't get to bed until late, but she drifted off to sleep right away. Too bad for her, though. As soon as her eyes closed, she awoke with a jolt to a loud bang outside. Mica sat up and swiveled his head around, grabbing his self-defense pan. Hana followed his lead and reached for her staff. The dogs barked. Nodding to each other, they exited the tent and joined Zagiha, wielding his hammer.
"What's wrong?" asked Mica.
"We've got company," he said, tightening his grip.
"Animals?"
"No, people." He raised his weapon. "If you're going to fight, look sharp. This could get messy."
クリエイターの想い 
Cosmic_Cockatoo
Cosmic_Cockatoo > You will never go camping with two hot bishounen tripping idiotically over themselves trying to impress you. Why live?
It is American football day in the United States, but I only care about who will win the Hanabowl. Zagiha? Mica? A third contender will take the stage soon vying to win her heart!
My work schedule keeps changing on me, but the good news is for now I can continue updating on Sundays. So, anticlimactically, the release schedule remains the same. See you next time!
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