章 42: 43
"I'm kidding, Payton," J.D. said. "You don't have to act so shocked. I'm just trying to be . . ." He hesitated. "Nice?"
Payton swallowed. "Nice?"
J.D. nodded. "Sure. Call this, you know, a gesture." He looked around her office. "So how's your trial coming along? From the little I saw the day your shoe, uh . . . and then you . . . well, you were there, you know what happened—it looked like the jury's on your side. What do you think?"
Payton stared at him. "Seriously. What are you doing?"
J.D. blinked innocently at her. "What do you mean, what am I doing?"
"First the coffee, and now you're—what—making idle chitchat? Is that what this is?"
J.D. shrugged. "Sure."
"Another gesture, I suppose?" she asked.
"Exactly—another gesture." J.D. smiled. "So now there's been two gestures."
Payton carefully looked him over. "Are you sure you're okay?" He was acting so bizarre right then. Maybe he was ill.
"I'm fine," he said. "You were going to tell me about your trial?"
"Well . . . things are going good, I guess. Assuming there aren't any surprises, we should start closing arguments in two days. Thank you for asking."
"Of course."
Payton waited as J.D. continued to linger in her doorway. Was there . . . something else? "I really should get going to court."
"You really should," he agreed.
Still, with the lingering.
Payton gestured to her coffee cup. "Thank you for the Starbucks?" Maybe he was waiting for a tip.
J.D. seemed pleased with this response. "You're welcome." He straightened up. "Well, then. Good luck in court, Payton." With a nod, he turned and left.
Payton shook her head as she watched him leave. Whatever the hell that was, she had no clue.
In eight years—all their fights, coffee-stained suits, peeky-cheeks, and everything else considered—that had to be the oddest interaction she'd ever had with J. D. Jameson
"I THINK WE need to talk."
Six such simple words, but Payton hated hearing them. Everyone hated hearing them.
It was part of a voice mail message Chase had left her, one she'd first heard when she'd got back to the office after finishing up in court. It had been a long day—the judge had dismissed them later than usual; he was trying to make sure the trial ended as scheduled in two days. Payton was wiped out, vaporized, as she was during every trial on the days her witnesses were cross-examined by opposing counsel. She personally found it to be the most exhausting thing a lawyer had to do: protect her own witnesses during cross-examination and pray, pray, pray they didn't say anything stupid.
So, needless to say, when she first heard Chase's message in which, in addition to wanting to "talk," he suggested they meet at some coffee bar called the Fixx, she hesitated and yes, the terrible person she was, Payton thought about not calling him back. But then guilt set in (he's such a nice guy, he's Laney and Nate's friend), followed by rationalization (she would only stay for a half hour, then come back to the office to work), and one short cab ride later, here she was, about to start her third latte of the day, as she smiled apologetically at Chase because, of course, she had been fifteen minutes late.
"I'm sorry," she told him for the second time. She was frazzled with everything going on at work and, P.S., a little wired from all the caffeine.
They grabbed a table near the front of the coffee shop, by the windows. As Payton had quickly learned when she had mistakenly ordered a "grande," the Fixx was one of those indie, we-piss-on-Starbucks kind of coffeehouses that catered to an eclectic mix from the multi-tattooed/ pierced grunge and Goth type to the scarf-and-turtleneck-wearing literati crowd. The kind of place her mother would love.
As she and Chase took their seats, Payton felt overdressed in the tailored suit and heels she had worn for court. She glanced around, wondering when exactly it was she had stopped fitting into places like this.
"You said you wanted to talk?" she prompted Chase, not trying to hurry him along, but . . . okay, fine, she was trying to hurry him along.
Chase nodded. "First, I want to start by saying that I understand now what's going on. With you and J.D., I mean. I ran into him last night and we started talking and, well, I kind of put two and two together."
Payton had no idea what Chase was talking about. Although she had picked up on one thing. "You talked to J. D. Jameson? You know him?"
"We went to law school together."
Of course. Payton knew they had both gone to Harvard; she didn't know why it hadn't clicked that they would have been in the same class. She was interested to hear what J.D. had been like back in law school, particularly since for years she had viewed him pretty much as a one-dimensional character: the Villain, the Archrival, the Enemy. Doing so had made it easier for her to dismiss all the times he'd been such a jerk to her. But now . . . well, things had changed and she found herself wanting to know more about him, more personal things. For starters, she was very curious to know what "J.D." stood for.
Payton sensed, however, that now was not the time to ask Chase for the behind-the-scenes tour. "So you ran into J.D. last night, and this two and two you put together is, what, exactly?"
"That he's the one you're competing against to make partner," Chase said. "And now I totally get why you've been so stressed out these days. I wouldn't want to go up against J.D., either."
Payton sat back and crossed her legs defensively. "I'm not afraid to take on J.D. I think I have a pretty decent shot, you know."
Chase was quick to assure her. "Of course you do, that came out wrong," he said apologetically. "What I meant to say is that I know how stressful this must be for you, with the way J.D. is."
"Meaning?"
"Well, honestly, I think he's kind of an ass**le. He's full of himself, stubborn, and most of all, extremely competitive. He's one of those I-always-have-to-win, I-always-have-to-be-right types. I hate people like that."
Payton laughed. "Well, then, we do need to talk. Because you just described me."
Chase grinned affectionately. "You're not like that."
"Yes, I am, Chase. I'm exactly like that."
Chase tried to dismiss this. "But it's different with you—those qualities are admirable in a woman. That's how you have to act in order to be successful, particularly in the legal profession."
"That's kind of sexist against men, isn't it?" Payton glanced out the window. Wait—was that a pig she just saw go flying by?
Chase shifted uneasily in his chair. "Look—I think we're getting off track here. All I'm trying to say is that, before, maybe, I thought you were getting a little too worked up about making partner, but now I understand why. I'm sure J.D. has taken the stakes up, like, ten notches."
Well, yes. But then again, so had she. And on another note, Payton found it very interesting that Chase had thought she was getting "too worked up" about making partner. Who was he to decide the proper level of importance she should place on the advancement of her career?
And frankly, while she was thinking about it, she didn't particularly like the way Chase talked about J.D. Sure, J.D. could definitely come off a little arrogant and perhaps overly confident at times, but he did have his moments. For instance, she begrudgingly had to give him credit for the fact that, after the deposition, he had come to her house to apologize in person. She knew that hadn't been easy for him. And there were other things, little things, like at dinner with the Gibson's reps, when he'd kept her company while the other men went off to smoke cigars. Or the way he'd come looking for her in the library after Ben had given them the news that only one of them would make partner. He only had been trying to be nice, she knew, yet in return she had been rude and defensive.
And then there was the thing he'd said to her the other night as he left her house. I would've done it for you in a heartbeat. Payton had gone over those words a hundred times in her head. She needed to be careful when it came to J.D.—she had to protect herself; she didn't want to misread him, couldn't afford to mistakenly attach too much significance to something he'd maybe meant only as a professional courtesy.
Payton realized that Chase was studying her, presumably waiting for her to say something similarly negative about J.D. But oddly, the person she had questionable feelings about as a result of this conversation was Chase. He had been very emphatic in wanting to talk to her, but so far she hadn't heard anything that merited pulling her out of work and away from the hours of research she still had ahead of her that evening.
"I don't mean to be rude, Chase, but I really have to get back to the office," she said. "As a last-ditch effort, the plaintiff moved to strike some of our jury instructions and the judge wants to hear our arguments tomorrow," she explained. "So is this why you asked me to meet you here? To talk about J.D.?"
Chase shook his head. "Actually, I wanted to talk about us. Look—you obviously have a lot going on with work right now, and maybe that's all it is, but I was thinking about you last night, that I wanted to do something nice for you, something to take your mind off of things. But then it hit me, that I wasn't sure you actually wanted me to take your mind off of things, that maybe all you want is to be focused on your job—and that's great, Payton, don't get me wrong—but . . ."
He hesitated, his brown eyes full of questions. "Is that really all it is? Because I can wait out these last few days until your firm makes its partnership decisions, but if it's more than that, then . . . maybe it just would be better if I backed off now."
At first, Payton didn't know what to say. She wasn't ready to have this conversation, at least not now, anyway. She took a deep breath.
"I blindsided you with this, didn't I?" Chase asked, grinning sheepishly.
"Yes, you could say that," Payton said, exhaling with a nervous laugh.
Chase reached across the table and took her hand. "Look, we don't need to finish this conversation right now. I just thought this was something I needed to say. And I hate talking about these things over the phone."
Payton nodded. She probably was a fool to not immediately say, no, of course she didn't want him to back off. But Chase was right: she needed to think before she answered him. Right now, she was confused and—while she hated to admit it—fighting the urge to check her watch. But since he had brought up the subject, she responded as honestly as she could. He deserved that at least.
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