章 23: Desperation
Drake was in the Mainframe for the umpteenth time, he was plugging in more and more now, sometimes going an entire week mostly vegetating in his bed, only getting up to eat, bathe, and use the restroom. He had gotten used to Glitch's presence, even though he still hated him. Wira had already trained him on how to use it outside the Mainframe, and was loathe to find that it summoned Glitch, who he wished would just stay inside the Mainframe forever.
"So, you never told me why Glitch was able to come out of the Mainframe when I put on that machine, and it's been bugging me for a while, how did he do that?" Drake huffed and crossed his arms at Wira.
"I think the machine channels one Aspect, a physical representation of one's inner self, and brings them to where you are. Your assigned aspect seems to be Glitch" Wira let out a single small laugh, then caught herself, and put a hand over her mouth.
"Don't laugh at my suffering." Drake sighed a sigh of defeat, his entire face drooped as he frowned.
"I've never seen another aspect besides the seven, never even knew Glitch was one until then. I don't think he's even a sin or a horseman, he's just, a big ball of nihilism." Wira shrugged, Deeana's aspects were all based on the seven deadly sins and the four horsemen of the apocalypse, and Glitch didn't fit the bill for any of them.
"I'm right here, you know." Glitch was standing a bit farther back away from Drake, his arms crossed and a very familiar scowl painted on his face.
"I know, I just… This has never happened before, it's kind of a historical moment here, in the scope of things." Wira clasped her hands together and smiled
A red flash of light went off at the area where Drake and Glitch first entered, and everyone looked over. Lunara fell onto her rear end, and let out a grunt. She got onto her feet and looked at the fleshy ground with a crinkled nose and a frown.
"What the… How did a human get in here?" Wira's eyes widened.
Glitch made a very disconcerting small gurgly hissing growl through his teeth as he turned to look at Lunara.
"Don't you fucking dare," Drake angrily said through his teeth as he turned to Glitch. He'd already lost Marissa, and he'd be damned if he let Glitch do the same with Lunara.
"Drake? What is this place? Is this where you've been all this time? Who is that… Thing, that looks like you?" Lunara pointed to Glitch, fear etched onto her face as she slowly walked over, but in Drake's direction.
"So this is the girl you've been thinking about all this time." Glitch stretched his sharp metal claw fingers, his gaze fixated on her.
"I said don't you dare!" Drake tried to run at Glitch to stop him, but Glitch held out his hand and a pulse of red energy came from him and hit Drake, knocking him on his back.
"You don't understand me at all still, even after all this time. That also means you don't understand yourself either." Glitch walked over to Lunara, who was trying to walk around him, and grabbed her arm.
"Let her go!" Drake scrambled onto his feet and lunged at Glitch, who sent another, more powerful pulse of red energy towards him. Drake fell back again and gasped for breath.
Glitch was in control now, he stared her down and strangely saw fear fade from her face.
"You stare death in the face and yet I see no fear anymore, why?" Glitch reached for her neck.
Lunara's gaze did not shift, she stared defiantly at him.
"I'll kill you, I will. I've done it before!" Glitch shouted, clasping his hands around her neck.
She barely even moved, and it was as if she was staring into his soul, it made him angry. Why? What made her lose her fear? Was she accepting death?
"I'll fucking kill you! I swear it!" He shook her a little bit, though it was aggressive.
"You won't." She barely moved her mouth.
She was resilient, even though his claws were digging into her skin, and little streams of blood slowly made their way down her neck.
"Was that a challenge?" Glitch was confused and that made him even madder, he had no idea what was going through her mind.
"You can't bring yourself to." She raised her right hand and rested it on his arm, which made his hand pull back a bit.
"That's a damn lie, you don't know shit about me. You don't know shit about him either, he barely knows his own potential, and you have no idea how much danger you are in." Glitch snarled at her.
"I can tell if someone has intent to kill or not. I don't see that in you." She pushed down on his arm, and his hand pulled back and off her neck.
"You can't be serious, I refuse to believe you're a fucking psychic, there's no way." His hand stayed halfway between them, he was dumbfounded. She couldn't know, could she?
"Just because you've done it before, doesn't mean you can bring yourself to do it again." Lunara grabbed Glitch's other hand and yanked it away from her neck.
"Why… Why?" He felt hot tears pool under his eyes, he didn't understand the emotions he was feeling, there was a pressure in the center of his ribs and over his heart, and he struggled to swallow with the lump that formed in his throat.
The crushing pressure in Drake's chest finally let up so he could breath. He sat up and saw Glitch confusedly wipe away tears that rolled down his face.
"What's going on? How'd you get him to stop?" Drake turned to Lunara, who looked back at him and didn't say anything back as she wiped the blood from her neck.
"I… I'm not a monster! I'm not!" Glitch shouted as tears continued to pour from his eyes.
"What are you even talking about?" Drake was dumbfounded , what's gotten into him?
"It was never supposed to be like this! I shouldn't have to go through all of this shit because of someone else's decisions! It's not fair! I have the same capability of emotions and ability to feel feelings than anyone else! Why treat me like I'm different or that I have no empathy?" Glitch angrily pointed at Drake as he backed away.
"What are you talking about?" Drake had no idea what brought this on. What did Lunara do to him?
"It's okay to feel guilt." Lunara looked back at Glitch and wiped her bloody hands on her dress.
"No, it's not fucking okay, it will never be okay." Glitch turned to her while his arm covered his face.
"What did you do to him?" Drake looked to her, not sure what to think.
"You want to know the reason?! Well do you?! Fine!" Glitch swung his arm away from his face, he scowled and tears continued to fall.
"Wh-," Drake started to speak but he was cut off.
"My entire existence consisted of being shoved aside and locked away, I've been treated like I shouldn't be here when you humans are the ones who brought me here in the first place! how else am I supposed to feel?!" Glitch shouted, still angry.
"If you weren't so vengeful maybe people would have felt bad for you." Drake frowned and got up.
"I've been tossed aside like rotten garbage by humans my whole life, and you expect me to not to even feel a little bit vengeful?" Glitch balled his fists and huffed.
"He couldn't have been that bad, could he?" Lunara reached out towards Glitch, who hissed and backed away.
"I was the Downtown Lyserge killer! I took his body to do it!" Glitch flung his arms outwards at his sides and pointed to Drake.
"She's not from here, idiot." Drake stretched his lips outward with a frown and lowered his eyelids.
"What? She's not?" Glitch looked at him, his face still wet with tears, even though the water flow from his tear ducts had stopped.
"I only showed her Lyserge a little while ago." He shook his head.
"I killed fifty people, including Drake's girlfriend, Marissa. I loved her, too, which he still doesn't believe to this day." Glitch frowned again, and looked back at Lunara.
"Killing that many people isn't really what an empathetic person does." She folded her arms.
"Don't you feel it too? That crushing hollowness inside you? So strong that it hurts? Doesn't it hurt right here?" Glitch put a fist over his heart.
"I don't feel that. I feel fine, sans the blood running down my neck." She wiped the blood from her neck again and wiped her hands on her dress like last time.
"What? You… Don't feel it? I thought everyone did." His eyes widened with shock.
"What? I don't feel that either, I think it's just you." Drake never knew that Glitch felt that way, and thinking back, what he felt explained a lot.
"So that means… No, No!" Glitch writhed and put his hands to his face and began to sob.
"So you killed her because you thought everyone felt the same as you?! What were you thinking?! You could have asked anyone if they felt the same and they would tell you no! How could you be so stupid?!" It took Drake a second to process what Glitch's shortsightedness actually entailed, and he was furious. His girlfriend was dead because of a misconception and that was unacceptable.
"Oh god, no! Oh, oh god!" Glitch sobbed while doubled over.
"What's going on over there?" Wira walked up to the three, definitely because she heard Glitch sobbing
"Glitch killed Marissa over a misconception and I… I'm so angry." Drake balled his fists and huffed, he was halfway to jumping Glitch and attempting to beat him up.
He looked to Lunara, who looked back at him for a second, then turned and walked in Wira's direction.
What's going on over there?" Wira walked up to the three, definitely because she heard Glitch sobbing
"Glitch killed Marissa over a misconception and I… I'm so angry." Drake balled his fists and huffed, he was halfway to jumping Glitch and attempting to beat him up.
He looked to Lunara and took a deep breath. If he attacked Glitch while he was down like that, even out of anger, what would Lunara think of him?
"Oh, I heard about that from him. He has meltdowns from time to time, because he's just a big ball of resentment and nihilism. Wait, How did a human get in here?" Wira looked to Lunara with wide eyes.
"I touched the device that was on Drake's neck, that's the last thing I remember before arriving here." Lunara shrugged.
"Well, this is fortunately a problem that can be fixed, I'm going to have to call Zlyena about this and have her lead the human out of the Mainframe like she did for me" Wira turned around and started walking towards the large control center that everyone was standing in front of.
"Oh, right, the way out, I forgot about that. So it was Zlyena that helped you escape?" Drake was initially surprised when he met up with her outside the Mainframe, but she was too busy talking with the others to tell him how.
"Yeah, bring the human with you, and I'll call Zlyena to fix this." Wira motioned for them to follow.
He looked to Lunara, who looked back at him for a second, then turned and walked in Wira's direction. She led them up to the main console, and she opened a drawer that was below it. Drake peeked in, and it was a bunch of what he thought was crap. Hand sanitizer, stress balls, random bits of paper and some CDs that were in flimsy paper sleeves.
She pulled out a very familiar looking phone, the one Zlyena gave him looked exactly like it. She flipped it open and pushed some buttons, then held it up to her ear.
"Yeah, hey it's me, Wira. We've got a bit of a problem over here, a human touched Drake's wireless connector and got sucked into the Mainframe, could you come and lead her out?" Wira leaned on the console by her elbow, which made her look like a phone hogging teenager.
"What about that scary looking version of you, Drake?" Lunara turned to Drake, visibly worried.
"Let him get his emotions out, this is the second time I've ever seen him cry, but that's not going to make me feel sorry for him." Drake turned away, he was still angry at Glitch, he thought that Glitch was smarter than that, too. How such an intelligent being could do something so stupid escaped him.
A bright light appeared out of nowhere right next to Wira, which made him and the others cover their eyes. A see-through Zlyena appeared, her hands on her hips and looking at Wira disapprovingly.
"You're supposed to guard the Mainframe and not let foreign entities enter, I hope this is the last time I have to clean up your messes." Zlyena folded her arms and sighed.
"I thought it was Dr. Gage's job to not let people into Drake's room while he's plugged in." Wira shrugged.
"Oh, so it wasn't your fault?" Zlyena turned to Drake and glared at him.
"I had no idea she was in my room, don't blame me." Drake shrugged at her too.
"It's my fault," Lunara spoke up.
"Oh, how so?" Zlyena's glare faded as she turned to Lunara.
"I ran past Dr. Gage. He couldn't grab me in time, he told me not to go in, but I haven't seen him in forever!" Lunara threw her hands outwards from her sides.
"And you touched the wireless connector and got stuck in here." Zlyena sighed again and shook her head.
"Yes, but even though you are going to lead me out, it won't stop me from coming back." Lunara crossed her arms.
"This place is dangerous, but you already knew that I'm guessing, seeing as you are still bleeding." Zlyena put a hand to her head.
"I know that, there's a scary version of Drake here. But he's out there crying right now. You can hear him from here too, right?" Lunara pointed back from where she came in.
Everyone went silent, and Drake heard the muffled sounds of sobbing for himself. He would have felt bad for Glitch if he hadn't killed Marissa, and could have forgiven him for the other murders, but killing Marissa was irredeemable in his eyes, and nothing that Glitch could ever do could change his mind about how evil he was.
"Yeah, I can hear him. You'll have to follow me past him though." Zlyena started walking over to Lunara.
"What will happen to him?" Lunara turned to Zlyena and reached out to touch her, but her hand went right through her.
"Sorry, I'm using astral projection to be here right now, this is not my physical body." Zlyena gestured for Lunara to follow.
The four of them left the console room, and as soon as they opened the door, Glitch's loud sobbing assaulted their ears. Drake almost felt bad for him, almost. They silently walked around Glitch, barely making any noise. Lunara turned around and bolted in Glitch's direction out of nowhere, and even though he tried to grab her arm to stop her, she was too fast. He wondered if her being fast on her feet was the reason she could outrun his father.
"I'm sorry, but... You can't follow me." Lunara tried to put a hand on Glitch's shoulder, but he slapped it away.
"Just go! I don't belong there! I don't belong anywhere! Fuck this! Fuck everything!" Glitch turned around and ran off.
"Wait!" Lunara tried to run after him, but Drake grabbed her arm.
"Leave him, he doesn't deserve your kindness." Drake lightly yanked on her arm, and gestured with his head to keep going.
"You may hate him, but he barely even gave me a reason to." Lunara pulled her arm out of Drake's grasp.
"You're bleeding because of him, that's not enough of a reason to not like him?" Drake didn't understand why Lunara was being so nice to Glitch even though he made her bleed and could have potentially strangled her.
"He couldn't help it, he has metal claws for fingers, just like you." She pointed to Drake's outstretched hand.
He looked down at his hand, and then back up to her.
"I didn't scratch you when you pulled your hand away. If I'm perfectly able to keep myself from hurting you, he's just as able." Drake huffed and put his hand to his side.
"Does it really matter? He may have drawn blood, but he's probably never met a human like me before." She looked down at the ground and intertwined her fingers.
"He has, once." Drake turned away from her and walked back towards Wira.
He listened to the sounds of her following him. The reason why Glitch almost strangled her was the reason why he told her to stay away. The reason why she kept persisting made him question if she had feelings for him or not. Actions speak louder than words, and both her actions and her words point him in that direction, even though he hoped that it was just out of the kindness of her heart instead.
"Do you like me?" Drake said without turning his head to look at her.
"What?" Lunara's footsteps stopped.
"I said, do you like me? You know... Like that?" Drake finally turned his head to look at her.
"What brought this on?" Lunara walked up to him, her eyes sparkling.
He knew it. The stars in her eyes gave it away.
"All the things you've been doing. Dodging my father to get to me, touching the device and by extension, me. And being nice to Glitch, who you keep saying is a scary version of me. You treat him like you want to treat me, don't you?" Drake turned his head back to see where he was walking.
"You keep telling me to stay away, and it's not fair. It's not fair to me, and it's not fair to you either. Just because there's danger involved doesn't mean my feelings are annulled." She grabbed his arm and walked to his side.
"So you do like me." He didn't look at her, he thought that if he acted aloof that she would stop trying to get close to him. It wasn't like he didn't feel the same way, but he just wanted her to be safe instead of being with him, which would mean subjecting her to constant dangers.
"You're not fooling anyone, you know." She yanked on his arm and glared at him, the beginnings of tears pooling under her eyes.
"What are you talking about?" He pretended not to know the meaning behind what she was saying.
She yanked his arm hard, which made him bump into her. They were chest to chest, and he could tell she was getting very aggravated at him by her shallow breaths.
"Will you... Will you go out with me?" She stared him dead in the eyes as she visibly tried to hold back the tears that were about to completely come up out of her tear ducts.
"How old are you?" Drake thought she looked younger than eighteen, which was not ok for him. He knew Lyserge would allow it, but he prefered the original age of consent that was eighteen.
"Sixteen." She sniffled, and quickly wiped her eyes.
"See me in four years." He turned away from her, but she grabbed at his arm again and yanked him back.
"No! Ok, we won't even do anything, I just want to be with you is all," She forced words past what he believed to be a lump in her throat.
He sighed, it would be just two teenagers dating, and he believed she would never let go of her arm if he didn't at least relent a little bit. But he had to say one more thing first.
"You barely even know me." He turned to her, his words weren't angry, he said it in a low and calm tone.
"Nobody ever got close to me like you did." She looked at him with puppy dog eyes.
"You're more starved for affection than falling in love, then." He shook his head.
"If you didn't love me, why did you take me there?" She lightly tugged at his arm again.
Shit, he thought. She had a point. He had only ever showed a girl a beautiful place if he liked that girl. He showed Marissa the old clock tower, where they then would normally hang out in. Just thinking about her made his heart hurt, even after all those years.
"I... I'll think about it, ok? Can we get you out of here now?" He pointed at Wira and Zlyena in front of them, who were just standing there talking.
She smiled, and bolted forward, yanking him with her.
"You two lovebirds done?" Wira smiled and put a hand up to her mouth.
"I said I'd think about it. Yes, we're ready." He looked back to Lunara, who's mood completely turned around with only a few words.
They continued walking, her hand still on Drake's arm, her snug grip really was something else. He never knew she was so strong and fast, he just assumed she was either average or frail, he was thinking more frail because of her pale skin. They were led to what he believed to be a giant brain stem.
"Here we are, you just slide down there and you'll wake back up next to Drake." Zlyena gestured for Lunara to come forward.
Her nose crinkled and her eyebrows furrowed as her smile turned into a frown.
"That's gross, are you sure there's no other way?" She clung to Drake's arm, which was falling asleep because of how tight her grip was.
"You heard her, that's how Wira got out, right Wira?" He looked at Wira while facing Lunara.
"Yes, it's not as gross as you think it is, either." Wira shrugged and continued to smile, only a little bit wider.
"Ok... I'll see you in a bit, alright?" She looked up to Drake, who looked back at her. She then finally let go of his arm and walked up to the man sized circular opening next to the brain stem.
She looked back at him, and all he could do was smile and wave. He hoped that saying he'd think about it would deter her from being so persistent from then on. She turned around and got down, and slid into the hole.
He sighed and felt his smile fade as he returned his hand to his side, his arm still felt like it was getting pricked with pins and needles. He reached behind his neck and flicked the invisible switch, and woke up.
He then warned Lunara not to touch the wireless connector again, and walked out. He needed some time to clear his head, and he went to the same old clock tower. As soon as he entered, he felt the emptiness inside him, the place was falling apart, more than it used to be when he and Marissa would hang out there. He went up to the top, and looked out over the balcony at the rest of the city.
He wished Marissa was still alive, he found he'd been wishing that a lot more recently. If she was still alive, he wouldn't be having those troubles with Lunara. He still has mixed feelings about dating her, he would have to talk to Skyler about how he handles Gabrielle being in danger a lot, since he heard about her through talking with Skyler on the phone. He stayed there for a few hours, then went back home, and spent the rest of the day working on projects, like fixing his old lazer, the one that Glitch broke. Once he saw it was dark out, he headed to bed, and thought about all his relationship problems until he drifted off to sleep.
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