章 242: Let it all Come Naturally
With everybody finally settled down, I walked over to the open spot for me on the bed and sat down. I surveyed everyone in the room, taking in their countenances. Irina, Muria, and Alvelyn seemed to be chatting among themselves for the time being, and over at my computer desk, Erith was examining my wireless gaming mouse as Luna observed her.
"So," Loyd finally began speaking. "We thought that we would come by and see how you're doing."
"You wouldn't believe how shocked we were when we found you and Muria," Luna said. "You were wounded pretty badly that the rescue team had to call in a helicopter to get you to the hospital."
"But to think that none of the park rangers knew about that asylum," Noah sighed and shook his head in disbelief.
"Did you kill that Thing on your own?" Zaksus then asked me with an inquiring look on his face.
"Y-Yeah," I nodded, bracing myself for the aftermath of admitting to this.
On their faces were looks of shock as they looked at me in silence. I sat there, grimacing somewhat as I endured this silent session of judgement. Would they call me a monster for taking the lives of the Warden and those Patients in the prison cells? If they do, then I guess I have no choice but to accept it. If I were in their shoes, I would probably think that I am a monster as well. Ordinary teenagers can't kill without feeling repulsed by their actions. In fact, ordinary people cannot even kill animals like dogs and such without feeling that disgusting feeling of repulsion.
Bring it on then, I thought as I lowered my head.
Hate me, fear me, it doesn't matter at all. All that it will do to me is that I go back to being alone. Not like I have never been there before.
"He protected me," Muria said out loud, breaking the silence.
Her words, they were in an attempt to defend me. It made me rather surprised, causing me to glance over at her. For a second there, I could swear that the image of the woman in my vision seemed to overlap with her's.
"Yeah," Zaksus nodded with a disgusted look on his face. "There were some...weird shit going on in the cells when we passed by them as well."
"To think that is what they do to the females that they find," Loyd shook his head in disapproval.
"That was just horrible," Luna acknowledged.
"If it weren't for Alevian," Irina whispered as she looked over at Muria with a frightened look on her face. "Then Muria would've..."
"Didn't know that the boy had that in him," Erith commented with a smirk. "Body badly beaten and battered, yet still willing to go to that extent to protect her... Say, do you have a crush on Muria over there?"
Erith's teasing inquiring led to a slight frown from Irina as she paid further attention to the outcome of this conversation. Next to Erith, although Luna remained silent, she seemed to be focusing in on the topic as well with a curious look on her face.
"I..." I was caught off guard by this sudden question and didn't know what to say. "She was about to be raped in front of me," I continued after gathering my thoughts.
"So what you're saying is that you'll do that for any of us?" Erith asked. On her face, there was a calm and amused expression.
"Probably. Why are you all looking so shocked?" I commented after noticing the looks of surprise on both Irina and Luna's face.
"No," Irina explained as she smiled. "It's just that to think you would go to that extent for us."
Well, that is what I am saying right now, but anyone can talk. It's easy to be spitting out stuff that sounds admirable and such, but can you prove it. That is the real question. I don't know what emotions I was feeling when I prepared myself to fight the Warden and had Muria flee, but now that I think back about it, it must've been out of self-defense as I do not understand that feeling in my heart and I seriously doubt that I could make any better judgement when adrenaline had taken control. If self-defense is the case then, it makes sense. I had Muria to run off to not be a burden, and when I woke up from being unconscious, even though that vision I saw when I was unconscious played a role, the only rational reasoning is that I only did it out of self-defense and that saving Muria was a secondary objective. Yet...if I recalled correctly, I was mostly thinking about a promise that was made and wanting to fulfill that promise. Then...that doesn't change the selfish nature of my actions. I only protected her so that I would be able to keep my promise, not to protect her. If I think about it rationally like this, my actions were all for myself. I am such a selfish scum of a person...
With a feeling of disappointment, I shook my head and chuckled quietly as I mocked myself. Even though I am simply doing these things to fulfill myself, I have the face to sit here and take the credit... Talk about a literal trash of a person. I am the lowest epitome of a human, maybe even something beneath that. It is the reason why I am alone.
I looked up and surveyed the room, taking in everyone present.
The people present right now...I still do not understand why they are here? Is it just to mock me? They're probably making fun of me right now in their minds. Once they leave today, they'll probably go on a group chat that excludes me and mock me on that platform. Maybe I'm just a toy for them to entertain themselves with. Kindness? Care? Those are all probably lies. The only people in this world that will not betray me is Loriana and Alvelyn...
With that realization, I frowned, sinking into a state of uneasiness.
Everything is a lie...It is all—
"Would y'all do the same for him?" Noah suddenly asked, penetrating my bubble of melancholy with this question.
I looked up and at the girls, somewhat curious about their answers.
"I don't think we'll ever run into situations that scary again," Luna thought out loud, "but if Alevian ever needs any sort of assistance, he can always count on me helping."
"Yeah," Irina nodded. "Alevian," she looked over at me. "if you ever need our help on anything, please don't hesitate and come to us."
Next to Irina, Muria simply nodded in silence. However, the message that she communicated with her nod was the same as everyone else's.
"I guess I can also lend a helping hand from time to time," Erith smiled and added in.
"You can also rely on us if you ever need anything," Loyd said, speaking for himself, Zaksus, and Noah.
For some reason, I felt an odd sense of legitimacy in their statement. A strange sense of trust started to boil up in my mind, almost as if I have known them for many years. As I sat there and surveyed each person, I could vaguely see what appeared to be transparent figures of people, dressed in different clothing from different time periods, hovering behind them. However, those transparent figures quickly vanished, almost as if they were simply an illusion, yet I am certain that they existed. In fact, I was almost certain that the figures...actually existed.
A faint smile appeared on my face as I felt a...rather reassuring feeling deep down within me. It was a cleansing feeling, and it felt amazing to be able to be relieved of the burden of having to be suspicious of others. I might not have entirely trusted everyone, but for the time being, just for now...I guess I can.
"So you guys got any plans for the remainder of Spring Break?" Irina asked.
"I still have to go to that basketball camp the team is organizing," Zaksus answered.
"Alevian still has to recover first before he can do anything," Luna commented as she glanced over at me.
"Right," Loyd nodded. "If we leave him and go do something on our own, that makes us feel kinda guilty..."
"I don't mind—" I was about to say, but I was interrupted.
"Even though I wouldn't mind," Erith commented as she smiled in an amused manner while glancing over at me from the corner of her eye. "I guess it wouldn't feel good for Luna."
"Erith!" Luna blushed somewhat as she tried to silence her friend in a playful manner.
"I guess we've experienced enough for Spring Break already," Irina chuckled.
"Yeah," Loyd nodded. "We should let things flow naturally."
"Then since we've accomplished our objective of checking up on Alevian," Noah said as he got up. "I guess it's time for us to leave now."
"Yeah," Luna nodded. "It's getting late."
With the event being pushed to its completion, I walked everyone to the door with Avelyn. Since Muria lived right next door, she walked over to the door leading into her house as the others waited before the elevators. From here, Noah will get off at his floor and return home while the others have to walk to the nearest station and take the train home.
"Nice seeing you," Zaksus waved over to me as he walked into the elevator.
"Hope you get better soon," Irina and Luna both said.
"Thanks," I nodded.
I watched as the elevator door closed and started moving down the building. Alvelyn retreated from the door and made her way to the kitchen to help Loriana, leaving me to be the one closing the door. I reached my hand over to the door handle, grabbing it and was just about to pull it towards me to shut it, but the sight of Muria standing in front of the closed doors leading into her house stopped me.
I looked over at the girl, taking in the somewhat nervous fidgeting of her body and the slight blush on her cheeks as she turned her face to look away and avoid eye contact.
"You need something?" I asked her.
"I..." She paused and took a deep breath before she finally turned her head and looked me in the eye. "Thank you."
After finishing, she immediately turned around and fled into her own house, closing the door behind her rapidly, leaving me standing with the front door of my house still opened. I stared at the closed door leading into her house, reminiscing at the thought of the blushing girl that had just fled the scene from embarrassment and shyness.
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