章 20: Like Sugar | Chapter Twenty
After Wednesday Jared was over the moon. He was a little giddy and quick to excitement, but overall his good mood radiated off him so much that his colleagues started to ask questions.
"Hey, are you seeing someone, Mr. Abitol?" one of the other lectures said as he walked past her. Jared stopped, shrugging before smiling in her direction. She was a woman who was probably in her eighties. She raised a brow, cocking her head to the side and making her hoop earrings dangle. "Are you seeing anyone?" she asked, and Jared's face grew warm. So many people have been asking him that same question — even his students. Jared wondered if it was written all over his face. But people did tend to ask these sorts of questions when people seemed unnaturally happy, and Jared was happy — extremely.
"You know, for the first time, I'm actually seeing someone," he chuckled, smiling again, watching the older lecturer's eyes go wide as his heart swelled. Yes, he was in a relationship, and he would tell everyone far and wide if he could. It just felt nice to be able to mention that he had a partner.
"I'm happy for you," she said, giving Jared a wave as his smile grew wider and he walked past her, leaving her alone in the hallway. It was Friday afternoon, and he would be off in a few hours. He was meeting up with Darnell today, and they were going to karaoke together. No Nyx. No friends. Just them.
Jared made it to his office before heading over to his desk and putting his computer on. He didn't think anyone was coming for office hours today, so he took the opportunity to work on the notes he had to have ready by tomorrow. He didn't want to cut the time he was spending with Darnell this night in half because he had work to do.
He worked in silence for a while, but that didn't last long since the door to his office creaked open. He looked up, expecting a student, but instead, Austin walked in. The man was in his work suit, but his jacket wasn't on him and he had probably abandoned it in his own office. Jared rose a brow at him, wondering why Austin didn't look as energetic as he usually was.
"You look—"
"Like hell?" Austin said, completing Jared's sentence. The man sighed, shaking his head as he made his way to the seat propped at Jared's desk. "Yeah, I look and feel like hell," Austin said with a shrug before sitting down on the chair. He took out the pack of cancer sticks and his lighter before lighting a cigarette. He took a deep drag, closing his eyes before opening them again to stare at Jared.
"I'm sorry for being sour. I can't seem to make myself hopeful," he said, making Jared wonder what the man was going on about. "I don't think Yves wants anything to do with me after our contract," he added, making things click in place in Jared's head. He has been so happy about getting together with Darnell that he had forgotten his friend wasn't having much luck with his own pursuit.
"Well?" Austin asked, making Jared blink before apologizing when he realized he had been staring.
"Do you have any advice for me?" Austin asked, ignoring Jared's apologies. He didn't have time for formalities. He needed help. If he couldn't get Yves to stay back with him, the man would be gone in a month's time. As the termination of their contract grew closer, Austin's hope in changing Yves mind faded. Every day that passed was another day Yves had refused him. He didn't know what he was doing wrong. He got along with Yves, he bought Yves expensive presents, they seemed to like each other's company to some extent, so what was it? Austin kept staring at Jared. It couldn't be his looks or the age gap between them. Jared and Darnell were in a similar position, and Austin knew Yves didn't care about things like that. He was a simple man. He liked money, so Austin gave him money — lots of it — but the probability of that alone changing his mind was slim.
"Advice?" Jared repeated, frowning a bit. Why would Austin want advice from him of all people? His relationship with Darnell was the first one he had ever had, and if Darnell had not been straightforward with him on Wednesday evening, he would have kept how he felt to himself since he wouldn't have been brave enough to ever confess his feelings. And even now that he was in a relationship, he was still on training wheels. It's been less than three days, and his general oblivion to every other thing hindered him. He doubted that he could be of any help at all.
He was a late bloomer in every way relevant to what Austin was asking him for advice for. He adjusted his sitting position on his chair, placing his elbows on his desk as he looked at his moody friend. "What type of advice?" Jared asked, deciding to at least try.
Austin shrugged. "I don't know," he said, picking a stray pen from Jared's desk. "How to act?" Austin asked after a while, determining that maybe that was where he lacked. Yves did mention he didn't like that he smoked, and even though Yves never mentioned it Austin had a feeling that the man perceived him as boorish and loud.
But speaking of change, it wasn't that easy to strip off everything that essentially made him who he was. Austin groaned, shaking his head before running a hand through his thinning hair while Jared just watched.
"I'm not sure what to tell you..." Jared trailed as Austin looked over at him. His blue eyes were sad, and his shoulders were sagging low as evidence of him slowly edging towards giving up. Maybe Yves just wanted nothing to do with him, and that was okay, he guessed, but it was a hard pill to swallow considering how much time they had spent together.
"Not to step on your toes, but—" Jared started talking, but he paused, making Austin frown. What did the man want to say? Austin felt he should just say it. There was nothing that could be more upsetting than how Yves was rejecting him left to right. Jared shouldn't worry about hurting his feelings.
"You were saying?" Austin spoke up, trying to get his friend to keep talking. Jared bit down on his bottom lip as he looked at his friend, sighing before looking down at his fingers as he tried for a nicer way to frame what he was about to say.
"Maybe Yves doesn't like you because you treat him like he's your property," Jared said, his voice getting smaller as he mouthed the word 'property.' He wasn't sure how Austin would react to that. And after sitting in silence with his eyes fixated on his hands Jared started to get worried. Austin hadn't said anything yet. He hadn't even let out a sigh.
The sound of the chair by Jared's desk moving made the physics professor to look up. Austin was still sitting down but he had pushed the chair he was on a few meters away as he stared at Jared with a look of confusion and disbelief.
"I treat him like he's my property?" Austin asked as his voice ran through the room. His tone was a lot softer than his usual speaking voice. He sounded confused, insulted, and there was probably sadness in the mix too. "How can I treat someone I'm in love with like they're property?" Austin asked, making Jared swallow his spit as he looked away from the man who had a heartbreaking look on his face. He wasn't sure how to explain what he meant to Austin without sounding insulting, but his friend had to hear it sooner or later.
"You talk about him like—" Jared paused as he filled in the blank with 'own him.' No, he couldn't say that. He bit his bottom lip as he tried to find a less inflammatory word. "You treat him like you're talking about your kid you're really proud of?" Jared said, frowning when the words left his lips. He had framed it more as a question than a statement because he wasn't even sure if his analogy made any sense.
"Remember when you called him arm candy?" Jared asked, looking straight at his friend. Maybe this example would help. "People date pretty people to make themselves feel better. It sounds like you're carrying him around like a purse if that makes sense? A status symbol," Jared kept talking, still not sure if he was making any sense. He was a Physics teacher, not a Literature or English professor. He had a bad way with words.
Despite Jared's multiple examples, of which he wasn't sure any made sense, Austin did seem to understand where he was coming from. Austin's expressions softened, and he leaned back on the wooden chair, staring at Jared with newfound realization. His hands were folded on his pot belly, and he seemed lost in thought.
"I see," he said, licking his dry lip before itching around his eyes. "I just really love having him with me. I thought it was just boasting, but apparently, it's not?" Austin asked, blinking back as he took in a deep breath. That made sense. It made a lot of sense. He also realized that the fact that he paid Yves made it feel more like he was bragging about him being his property. Maybe that was one of the main reasons Yves didn't like following him anywhere either. Now that he knew what he was doing he felt bad — ashamed. If he was making Yves feel like an object, he was being a terrible person.
"I'm sure it's more of that, and less of you being loud and all that..." Jared trailed, trying to encourage his friend. If he wanted to quit smoking, that was great, and if he wanted to attempt being less boorish, that was his choice, but Jared didn't want to watch his friend morph into a whole different person in an attempt to catch the younger man's attention. Especially when Jared had a perception that wasn't the root of the problem. Darnell and Yves talked a lot, and Yves had good things to say about Austin, but it turned into a rant/vent call anytime Darnell or Yves somehow got to the discussion of Yves getting invited to go somewhere with Austin. It was a stretch, but maybe Yves was guarding himself because he didn't think Austin actually loved. Maybe Yves thought Austin was trying to chain him to himself for bragging rights.
Jared blinked, not sure if his train of thought even made any sense. He watched as Austin lit another cigarette, taking a drag from it before blowing smoke into the air. Once upon a time Jared would go into a coughing fit anytime Austin did this, but now he was just to it and just tolerated the smell of tobacco.
"Okay, I'll try and correct that," Austin said, looking over Jared's shoulder and at the window. "Though, I'm not sure if the time I have left is enough," he mumbled as his eyes flickered from the window to the cigarette in his hand. "I should probably stop smoking too." A smile formed on the man's thin lips before he put the cigarette out on Jared's desk before laughing.
"Thank you," Austin said, looking at Jared, and Jared just mirrored the smile his friend had on. He was glad he could help with his minimum relationship experience. Austin had helped him a lot, and it felt nice to assist him too.
"I should be going," Austin said, getting up from the seat. He picked up the cigarette ends that he had put on Jared's desk before disposing of them in the little waste bin by his desk. He waved his friend goodbye, heading for the office's entrance. Jared kept waving at his friend, only putting his hand down when Austin shut the door behind him. He nibbled his bottom lip, praying that his advice helped a bit, or at least, his advice didn't make things worse instead of better.
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