章 16: Like Sugar | Chapter Sixteen
The rest of the weekend was a blur. Darnell stayed over on Sunday, hanging around Jared's office as the man tried to prepare his notes for his lectures on Monday. Jared didn't mind him moving around in the background. He didn't mind Darnell singing or Darnell resting against his desk as he worked. He didn't mind any of it because it was Darnell. The positivity that he felt after Darnell asked him on a date on Saturday spilled into the week. He was a lot more cheerful, slow to irritation, and bubbly.
"What's gotten into you?" Abby asked, pushing strands of her blonde hair behind her ear. Jared paused explaining what he had been to look at her. Yes, he was so happy that he entertained Abby's stupid questions without much thought. Jared sat up, raising a brow at her in confusion.
Abby shrugged. "You look really happy," she muttered, using her pen to make a beat on Jared's desk. She had come to Jared's office hours expecting him to be cold and annoyed at her like he usually was but was pleasantly surprised when he wasn't. It took a while for her to notice that she wasn't the cause of that, and it had to involve the person he was seeing in some way.
"Forget I asked," Abby muttered, looking down at the desk. Of course, it wasn't like Mr. Abitol was going to talk to her about his love life. What had she been expecting?
Jared glanced at her, looking at her now red face and curved brows. She had dropped the ben and was fiddling with her fingers now. Her whole demeanor cried out regret for having asked him that question.
Jared let out a small sigh, deciding that maybe if he answered her question half-assed, she would feel less bad. "It's my partner's birthday soon." It felt weird calling Darnell his partner, but it wasn't like he could tell Abby about their arrangement. It was the truth — a half-truth. They were sex partners. Jared just dropped the word, sex.
"Oh," Abby said, her scowl relaxing as a forced smile took its place. "Are you getting her anything?" she asked, looking at Jared as the man blinked, a little stunned.
Her, right. Jared repeated the pronoun in his head, just remembering that Abby still assumed Darnell was a woman. "I should, shouldn't I?" Jared said, answering Abby's question with a question. He had thought of getting Darnell something, but he was afraid he would make a mistake and get something too expensive, too romantically meaningful, or something that Darnell would just plain out detest. They were going to a flea market, and he had been leaning on making Darnell pick out his own gift since Sunday.
"You don't know what to get her?" Abby asked, and Jared just nodded, playing along.
"Oh, don't you know anything that she likes?" Abby asked, making Jared rest back on his seat as he tried to think. Darnell was very simple. He liked old school music, he liked to dress up, he liked jewelry and he liked romance novels. That was all Jared could muster from his memory. He didn't know anything about novels or dressing up so that was scrapped before it was even considered. He could always get Darnell a vintage music player. Those weren't that expensive, but Darnell would need tapes for those, and getting tapes were hard to get. It wasn't something Jared could put together in a day
"What about rings?" Abby asked, making Jared come out from his thoughts. "Like couple rings," Abby explained, seeing that Mr. Abitol was a little confused. There was a brief expression of panic on Jared's face, but he pulled himself together, casting his gaze to the table before looking back up at Abby.
"I'm trying not to get anything too sentimental," Jared explained, watching his student bite inside her cheek as she tried to think. "We're not at that point in the relationship yet," he added, making sure Abby understood where he was coming from.
"So, not exactly together yet," she muttered, almost as if to herself since Jared could barely pick up her words. The forced smile on her face was now gone and replaced with a sincere grin. Jared's words had given her a little hope. She couldn't believe she was wishing it, but she did hope that things won't work out with Jared and whoever the woman in his life was.
"Well?" Jared asked, pulling her out of her thoughts. He was still waiting for her contribution to the matter even though he wouldn't admit it to her. Abby wasn't a man, but at least she would know how relationships worked to an extent. Jared had never been in this position before. His romantic feelings were shut down even before they could be made known. With Darnell, it was confusing. He didn't want to overstep their boundaries, but Darnell would agree to play along with his fantasy of a relationship to a degree. He wasn't supposed to just sleep with him. Making it feel like the 'real things' was also part of the deal, but Jared cared too much. He didn't want to make Darnell uncomfortable, and toeing the rope of how much role-playing Darnell would allow might have its consequences.
But Darnell asked him on a date. He wouldn't be against acting out the things in connection to dating, would he?
"I'd say still go for the ring," Abby hummed, taking out her phone from her pocket to type something. "If you think that's too personal what about necklaces and wristwatches? If that's too far still, what about flowers?" Abby said, pitching suggestion after suggestion. Jared let himself think over them, nodding to her words as he began scribbling on a stray piece of paper.
"Well, I think I'll leave," Abby said after a while as she began to pack her books and stationery. Jared looked up from his notes, watching as she closed her bag and got up.
"I hope this doesn't blow up in my face," he said, letting out a nervous chuckle as he itched his hairline. He was joking, but he also wasn't. He didn't want to misread things and make Darnell angry with him.
"It'll be fine," Abby said, giving him a smile. She had flower shaped earrings and bright lip-gloss on. Jared returned her smile, feeling his laugh lines against his face.
"I'm not confident, but thank you either way," Jared said, watching her walk over to his office's door. Abby turned, looking at Jared with a small frown before her features relaxed and she shook her head. She let out a small laugh, sighing as she rested her back against the door.
"You often underestimate how people feel about you, don't you?" Abby asked, making Jared raise a brow at her. Abby gave him a frustrated smile, shaking her head as she opened her mouth. It looked like she was deciding whether to tell Jared something. She stood there, staring at him with lips slightly apart. She licked them, looking down at the floor before holding on to her arm.
"I like you," she said, looking up. "Romantically," she added, shrugging.
Jared felt like a bucket of ice water had been poured on him. He blinked, using his palm to rub his outer ears before staring at her in shock. "I'm sorry?" he asked, blinking again. He thought maybe he had heard her wrong, or maybe he was dreaming things up. There was no way Abby could like him. Abby was — well, Abby. She was beautiful. Why in the world would she be interested in him of all people? He wasn't the best looking —he was more of, the worst looking. He was also more than twenty years her senior. She just had to be joking.
"I like you," she repeated, nibbling her bottom lip. "I would say love, but you'd probably freak out. So, I like you," she repeated, adjusting the way she carried her bag. "I've liked you for a very long time. You might not remember it, but you gave first years a seminar two years ago," she started saying as her face grew warm.
"I admired you, and it took a while to realize I have a crush on you. You don't know how hard it was to get a placement in this class. Everyone practically rushes for your classes once the university's system gives students the go-ahead to register for classes," Abby continued to explain as she walked back to Jared's desk. She dropped her back, holding the edge of the table as she leaned in a bit.
"The person you're talking about is probably in love with you too," she mumbled. She had wanted to watch the relationship Jared had with this unknown person fall apart, but a small part of her conscience was making her give up on that. She loved Jared. She wanted him to be happy, and from how Jared acted this morning, it was obvious that person made him happy.
"But how—" Jared paused, not sure how to express what he wanted to say. How could she like him when he was... Him? It didn't make sense.
"There are so many good-looking people in your year and above. And I'm sure there are many people who would love to date you. Why me?" Jared asked, finding his voice. He watched Abby scowl. She seemed insulted by the question.
"Liking someone isn't one hundred percent physical attractiveness. And you know what? What people are physically attracted to also differs. I like your laugh lines, for example," Abby said, making Jared unconsciously reach out to touch the corner of his eyes. "But most of all, you're intelligent, and you have this confidence that radiates from you when you teach. I love that. Why do you think I come here to ask questions I already know the answer to?" Abby asked, admitting what she had been doing and stunning Jared.
Jared didn't know what to say. He had no way to explain how the revelation made him feel. He let out a sigh, rubbing the back of his neck as he stared at Abby who was red-faced but still determined to talk to him. His face was warmed up too but from confusion and anxiety instead of frustration.
"So, basically, what I'm saying is that I like you," Abby said with a small laugh. It sounded forced and seemed to be done to relieve the tension in the room. "Have some confidence. You like this person a lot, and it shows. What makes you think they don't know you like them? What are you hiding? Think critically for God's sake!" The room went silent after Abby's little speech. She was heaving, but when she got that under control, girl scoffed, shaking her head before combing her blonde hair with her fingers. She picked up her bag, giving Jared a small smile before leaving Jared's office like she was being chased by the wind. Jared stared at the door after Abby closed it with a little click. He tried to think, but even in the silent room he still couldn't process what had just happened. Abby liked him.
And she said Darnell might like him too.
Jared swallowed his own spit, finally getting himself to move. He reached out for his phone, looking through his texts with Darnell. Were there really signs he was missing? And even though he spotted something he could consider a sign, would Darnell liking him be the reason them? Darnell was meant to entertain his fantasy to an extent. Darnell flirting and teasing were not good indications that Darnell had any interest in him romantically.
Did Darnell like him? Was it really a possibility? Jared wondered, putting his phone aside before picking up the list he had made while Abby had been talking. He was still scared, but Abby had given him a little push. They were all big ideas Rings — jewelry. All sentimental things. But, go big or go home, was the motto, right?
Jared folded the piece of paper, tucking it between his notes before he made to pack up. His work hours were over, and he had to pick up Darnell today too. His face warmed up at the thought of the younger man. He couldn't control that yet — the flustering and anxiousness that came with being around him. Abby was right to an extent. Why would he be afraid of saying or expressing something that was written all over his face? Surely, Darnell had an idea of Jared's feelings, even it was just a little?
Jared licked his lips, getting up from his seat before heading to leave his office. His head was aching. He was thinking too much, and he decided it was better to postpone the thoughts to a later date. But one thing was for sure, he was going to get Darnell a nice gift disregarding whether it was too romantic or not.
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