章 68: Suspicions
LiHua let her daughter wail in her arms, lovingly, patiently stroking Chang's head as her cries devolved into a light hiccup-ing sob. Her daughter was a strong person, as far as she knew the last time she had seen her break down in this manner. It caused her own heart to still clench at the memory of when the police had stood on their doorstep to break the news about Hénri.
After that day, there had only been maybe a handful of times; when a longtime friend had moved away and when her childhood pet had died.
Hénri and her had worked hard to raise their daughter to be a strong, independent, and optimistic woman. To teach her that it was okay to express her grief when she needed to, that it was healthy and normal. Yet never to lose herself in the deep sea of negativity and sadness that claims many lives. Their greatest wish had been that she would live freely and happily, even engraving their hope into her name.
A wish that they only barely got to see come to fruition, and she more than her Hénri.
"What has my Xiao Xi crying so heartbreakingly now? What on Earth could have happened?' As Li Hua thought about this, she thought of something that could cause her daughter to fall apart like this. At the thought, the seed of guilt in her heart bloomed.
'I should have told her sooner...'
"Chang, honey. Lift your head please, you can't continue like this. Talk to me." Li Hua nervously held a hand over her daughter's head. Now that Chang knew she had no idea where to start.
She had practiced a million times how to say what she needed to say but had still been unable to initiate the topic, especially knowing this was what would be waiting at the end of the conversation. It pained her badly to see her daughter in this miserable state.
"Mom I just don't know what's real anymore... Everything I thought and hoped but...I don't think it's possible with Jian and me.." Sitting up her daughter spoke in halting sentences broken with sniffles and more tears leaking.
LiHua's hand froze in mid-stroke, 'Jian?' She hadn't even considered it to be Jian who was troubling her daughter.
"What's going on? Jian hasn't been here for a few days. Are you just missing him? He will return soon enough, he promised you so, you shouldn't cry like this he will not be gone forever." While slightly eased that it was not the serious matter she had thought it was, LiHua was not fully relieved knowing that the matter would still need to be revealed.
Unable to explain all that she felt, Chang pulled the pictures from under her belt, now severely creased, and handed them to her mother. Starting at her mother Chang felt the dark heavy feeling inside her brewing as her mother examined the photos slowly with a shrewd eye. Once she had seen them all, LiHua sat them down and looked at her in the eye, a very serious expression on her usually peaceful face.
"How did you get these?"
"What does that matter?"
"It does matter, you need to tell me everything, I can only give you a clear answer if I understand everything. Would you trust the source where these came from?"
"It doesn't matter if I trust them, it can still be true." Looking away Chang did not want to explain what happened, knowing it would not have happened if she had done as she was told to and let her guard accompany her. Now she could understand why that was so. 'Did Jian anticipate that something would happen like this? Was he trying to keep me in the dark, on the side...?'
"Wrong." Li Hua held up a hand, stopping her daughter in her train of thoughts. '"People say believe half of what you see, Son and none to what you hear.'"
"Did you just quote a song to me as life wisdom?"
"No, I did not."
"I'm pretty sure that's a Marvin Gaye song you just referenced, Mom." Chang could not help but chuckle a little.
"The saying is far older," Li Hua coughed twice into her fist trying to move past her daughter chuckling.
"Simply don't just believe something because you see it and if news came from someone else, you need to judge with your own eyes. Your husband loves you, he could have just walked away when you ran and treated it as a one night stand or something of the like. He did not though, he came looking for you, he even came to me, and braved my wrath! Trust in Jian, he's a good man and deserves more of your trust."
Hearing her mother use the term one-night stand, Chang felt herself light up red.
"We never had a one night stand or anything of the like. We've never at all, and I know men have their needs, so what if, you know.." Chang started to mumble not wanting to explain too much further, hoping her mother would understand her extrapolation.
Li Hua was shocked hearing that, she had not thought too much about the matter, as it was her child, but she knew her daughter was a woman and a married one at that.
"You two have never..performed marital relations.?" Even with her mother's attempt at delicate wording, Chang still slapped her hands to her face, trying to cover her burning shame.
"God mom why are you asking me this! No, we haven't!"
Giving her daughter a moment to compose herself, LiHua handed the photographs back.
"You need to trust Jian. With all that he has done, he's shown his devotion to you, now it is your turn to do the same. He went through great effort to bring us here, to find you.
"Think about this logically for a moment, who would stand to gain anything if you left Jian?"
"I guess only Jian's dad, though I'm not sure what, Jian told me that it didn't matter. Those pictures came from him, through another while I was in the city today."
"That man again." Li Hua narrowed her eyes. "Is it not obvious by now after everything that man is against you. What he has to gain is no matter, you need to steel your heart and mind when dealing with any matter he is related to. I would say there is far more than meets the eye with these photos, considering the source. Wait for Jian to come back."
"Okay, he said he would come back soon too." Feeling slightly better after having talked to her mother about it, Chang folded up the pictures in her hand. A heavy lump still sat deep inside her though, and she hoped Jian truly would come back soon.
"Then be patient. Do not torture yourself with this, until Jian returns I would suggest you try to put the matter from your mind. Things will be okay Xiao Xi, I know it."
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