章 7: I'm overthinking things...
Instant Time Mage 7
For in this world that has become so disgusting to me, you are perhaps the only one who seem to affect me in a positive way.
I don't like this world anymore, but since you came, I came to notice that I deeply want you who is untainted.
Pure from this disgusting world, you appeared before me with your nice personality that was devoid of falsity.
Perhaps my scanners didn't pick you up to be tainted but I will be the judge of that as we engage in our relationship.
So, who is it?
Who is this man who had claimed a place in your heart... No, wait!
Time out!
Let me analyze the question...
What if... I say... I already like someone?
This...
This question can be interpreted into two meanings.
One meaning says that you DO have someone you like and you're only asking this out of concern for me.
But the other meaning tells me this is a Test for me to take!
You ask me "What if?" but let me ask you, do you believe in WHAT IFS?
I for one who is purely rational do not believe in what ifs and only idiots who can't comprehend the incoming situations fast enough could only pin their faith to what ifs.
And I know that someone like you would rather not believe in what ifs even in a fantasy world.
But you ask me "What if?" nonetheless as an attempt to communicate with me.
Which also means, you think I'm an idiot who believes in what ifs.
But fortunately though, I have already exceeded my limits and now I don't believe in what ifs anymore.
So, if I take out the "What if?", I get "I say, I already like someone?"
Convert that query into a declaration and according to my conjectures, you are saying, you already LIKE someone!
Which means my previous attempt to ask you "Who is it?" was the correct choice to communicate all along!
In other words, I'M OVERTHINKING THINGS!
[So, who is it?]
I ask her again calmly and tried not to rush things. And in my mind, several images of popular boys I saw and heard in school flash before me. Trying to correctly guess who it is by determining from her answer. And then she said.
[It's... Him. Your best friend you keep hanging out with since middle school.]
[... Prince charming?]
What? Him?
And she nodded at me as a faint smile bloomed on her lips.
[Yeah. That's what they called him, right? I was pretty much like those girls back then who adored our junior prince charming.]
Junior... Prince... Charming...?!
The image of a certain guy flash before my eyes and my face, even in pure rationality, was warping into shock.
Grrrrh!
I felt a sudden burst of emotions were overloading me.
As I remembered his face, his irresistibly handsome face, memories of him and me suddenly resurface in my mind. Along with the emotions that resonated with them.
I remember him well. We use to hang out like the best of pals. Backing up each other's backs and overcome any obstacles facing us.
But then, I also remember how talented he was. How charismatic he was. How charming he was.
He was like a prince in some fairy tale. Perfect to be crowned king amongst nobles and peasants and all the women were infatuated with him.
And I, his best pal, was always been in his shadow. Gaining minor attention as he receives the spotlight. Helping him improve his reputation while I'm stuck below. No sooner than I expected, I was called then his 'Sidekick', then to his 'Lackey.' Then finally, my status had dropped to "his acquaintance."
I had enough of it.
I demand treatment worthy of my talent!
So, I decided to stop hanging out with him as we graduated middle school and further decided to live my high school life in pursuit for romance alone without him.
It started out fine. I could still socialize like I used to back in my heydays. And I even found a girl I truly like and confessed to her on the spot.
Yet, somehow, on the very same day. I suddenly found out how disgusting the world truly was and the girl whom I'm confessing to smiled like a beautiful flower when she heard the moniker: Prince charming.
Ah. What is this emotion? Jealousy?
I don't need such childish emotions. Get rid of it.
What? It won't go away? Impossible.
My mind is in the state of pure rationality. Emotions like jealousy and rage aren't part of my system as they don't improve my rationality and logic at all.
Yet, vice president smiled not because of me, but because of prince charming.
She smiled for another man who was not here confessing to her! How can I not be jealous?!
No, I mustn't let emotions take over. I have an objective and I must finish it!
[So, yeah... I like him...And... Sorry but, tough luck on you, Ten-word buddy.]
Ah, Ten-word buddy. My moniker I got in middle school after being famous for speaking only 10 or less words with each and every monologue.
That's right, back in middle school, I was actually quite smooth with my words.
It wasn't because I was fluent in speaking, no. But because I was only using 10 or less words in every monologue.
My monologues would always be brief and direct that any listener, no matter how dumb, can connect the dots easily and make sense of what I say. Although, it sounds like I was just a shy talker back then, the fact that I rarely use more than ten words in a monologue is testimony to my smooth speaking skills which I spare brevity for my conversation fellows.
And so, vice president brings up that moniker again. It seems that she really did knew me but I never knew her.
I must've been really popular back then.
[You know what? That sudden confession... Felt really good to listen. I can see that you're a very assertive person who speaks brief and direct conversations. And you always kept the bad thoughts back inside your head. But I can't really take your confession seriously like this so... Better luck next time?]
She said that and showed me a smile, an apologetic smile. Seemingly too sorry or too afraid to show me that blooming smile that sprouted cheerfully and naturally from her lips. She turned to face the other way, facing the exit of the alleyway, and walked a single step away.
The confession was good to listen?
All I had said and done was complete, illogical nonsense.
Assertive?
No, I just really wanted you right now.
Brief and direct?
Then why won't you talk the same way?
Kept the bad thoughts away?
I had exceeded my limits and my state of mind is pure rationality. There is no good or bad thoughts. Just thoughts, nothing more.
And you can't take my confession seriously?
Was it because I was too sudden?
But I was desperate for you, vice president!
This world is so disgusting that if I'm without someone as pure as you, I wouldn't last a minute in that crowd of Garbage!
I wanted you! I wanted you to know that!
What about my confession that you can't take seriously?!
... What's this now? Anger?
Great, now I'm angry and I can't get rid of it.
Ah, but even though I'm angry, I am not angry at you, vice president. Because as far as I'm concerned, I can still feel you so pure unlike the others. And that makes me want you even more.
What I'm actually angry at very moment is me in this world!
I can't stand the hideousness of this and everything in society makes me puke out my breakfast.
I can't stand it without you! I'll die without you!
And the last thing that I should be angry now is luck?
I have terrible luck to begin with and I've known that more than anyone else!
If I left my chances of survival to Luck, I would've died freezing in the middle of the desert!
So, no!
No better luck next time!
No luck next time!
I hereby ban the use my luck to get you. I will get you without luck or chance or fate deciding what shall I have!
[Please, wait a minute, vice president.]
I won't give up just because I have bit of bad luck today.
I grabbed her arm, or rather, her wrist, and gripped it gently as to not hurt her.
She turned to face me, her cheeks slightly blushing while avoiding eye contact.
[What is it now?]
[Don't sound so flustered. Listen to what I have to say.]
Was I asserting or beseeching? I didn't care because she did what I told her to do and I spoke out.
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