章 98: " I am not destined for love! "
Rong Xinghe's back stiffened when she heard the man's confession.
Love ?!
Me ?!
This couldn't be.... how ?!
Xi Yuan released the girl from his embrace as he looked at her with nervous and anxious eyes .
The girl stared at the man for sometime wordlessly . She then turned around to look at the night sky as she seemed to be thinking about something .
After sometime , she clenched her fists tightly as if she was gathering some courage , " No! "
The moment Xi Yuan heard this single word , even though he had expected this answer , he still felt an inexpressible pain crept across his heart . He felt as if this one word had destroyed his entire world .
No ?! Why ?
Was it because she still had feelings for that Zhou Che ?!
Or .... did she thought that he had played with her feelings by not being clear from the start?!
Or could it be that .... she felt that he was not good enough for her ?!
Innumerable possibilities and questions stormed in his mind as he waited for the girl to say something more .
The girl turned around and looked at the man who had a defeated yet calm expression on his face .
This man .... was really something else.
At a time like this , he still didn't pushed her for any explanation .
Instead , he simply stood there and waited for her to hear whatever she wanted to say .
Just how strong was he ?!
When she saw the man's calm gaze , she felt a strange courage fill up inside her heart as she finally said after sometime , " Trust me Yuan , it has nothing to do with you . Its me !
"Yuan ... I can't . I really can't . I am honestly grateful that you decided to express yourself and your feelings truthfully , but you know ... I am not made for this ! I am not made for this love . "
Xi Yuan was about to say something when the girl approached him and covered his mouth with the palm of her hand , " Just don't ! Let me speak !"
She then retrieved her hand back and explained , " I am not made for love , Yuan . I don't deserve love . You know .... I really admire you . I really do . You are an amazing man .You are kind , compassionate , sweet and trustworthy . You are perfect and you deserve the best woman in the world . But I am not that woman . I don't deserve a man like you , Yuan .
" I am a person who has been declared a disgrace by her own blood . Unlike you , I am not an honor to my family . I am a person who destroys the person I get close to. And you are the last person I want to hurt.
" What more , I am the Military Chief of Country X . This authority of mine has come with a lot of enemies who want me dead . There are politicians , terrorists , and rival countries who want to witness my death . And I won't hesitate to sacrifice myself for the nation . Sorry Yuan ..... I can't give my heart to you because I have already given my breath to my country . Under such circumstances , if I promise a forever to you , and one day , my dead body appears in front of you , what will you do ?
Wouldn't that promise of forever be an injustice to you ? Will you be able to forgive me for leaving you ?
" Yuan , its not that I don't like you . Its just that I don't deserve you . And its not just you , I won't accept any other man as well . Because I don't deserve love . I am not destined for love . I am destined for hatred , revenge , pain , sacrifices and tears . And I won't ever bring all that to you by saying yes . I am sorry . And I hope that you meet your perfect better half soon ! "
With these words , Rong Xinghe turned around again and took the spare motor boat to return back to the hotel , as she left the man all alone with his thoughts .
The girl didn't knew why , but when the boat started off to the direction away from the New York Harbor , she felt her throat choking as she found it difficult to even breath .
______________
Meanwhile , Xi Yuan kept staring at the direction , to where , the spare motor boat left , until it disappeared from his line of sight .
He sat down on the chair beside him as he smiled bitterly to himself , " Silly woman ! You are my only perfect better half . How can someone even replace you ? "
He was feeling terrible , but he hadn't lost hope yet .
After all , he was a man who had loved a woman that was herself very persistent and hopeful. His girl had gone through worst forms of pain , yet , she hadn't stopped living her life her way . She never lost hope .
He had loved a woman , who was brave enough to smile brightly the day after crying all night .
He had loved a woman , who was never believed by anyone , but she kept believing in herself .
He had loved a woman , who never gave up , despite thousands of drawbacks and hindrances .
Then how could he not be persistent ?
If he would really give up , then that would be a plain disrespect to his love and his woman !
He had no right to lose hope after loving a person like her.
What shocked him the most was Rong Xinghe's lack of self-confidence !
This girl called the shots for an entire military . It was impossible for her to do that without confidence .
But today , when she said that she was a disgrace and destroyer of happiness of whichever person she got close to , she proved it otherwise.
She actually felt that she wasn't made for love ; but hatred , pain , revenge and tears .
Just how broken was she from inside that she thought so low of herself ?
How could she think that she didn't deserved him ?
But the more he thought about her words and the reason behind them , the more his suspicions ended to only two groups of people : the Zhou Family , and worst than them , the Rong Family .
Did they really hurt her so much ?
As the man thought about how they had hurt her back then , anger surged through his entire body !
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